I'm going to miss you...
That sentence was the only thing Lisbon could think about. It consumed her. At first she accepted Jane's absence. It was easy to ignore all thoughts of him. She was caught up in cleaning up the mess he made. Her and the team were left jobless and arrested. The FBI refused to release them from custody for the first week. Then, like magic, Abbott strolled into their holding cell and told them they were free to go. They all got out of there as fast as they could. All smiles and joy. Until reality hit them. Especially Lisbon.
"Do you guys want to share a cab?", asked Rigsby.
"Nah, that's alright. You and VanPelt go ahead. Cho and I will share", Lisbon answered back.
Their cabs arrived. VanPelt and Rigsby left first.
"See you guys tomorr-... well actually I don't know when", said VanPelt.
"See you sometime, hopefully soon", added Rigsby.
"Yep", replied Cho.
"Bye", added Lisbon with a small smile.
Once in the cab Cho asked, "so what are we gonna do, boss?"
"...Honestly...I have absolutely no idea." Lisbon began to think about Jane, but quickly pushed those thoughts away. No, thinking about Jane would only add more stress and heartbreak that she didn't need right now. She quickly turned to face the window. Her eyes began to glisten with unshead tears. If Cho noticed, he didn't say anything.
The rest of the cab ride was spent in silence.
The cab stopped at Lisbon's apartment.
"Alright, I'll talk to ya later."
"Right. Later."
Lisbon exited the car and it sped off. She pulled out her keys, unlocked the door, and entered the dark apartment. The first thing she noticed was the quiet. She was so alone now, without the team. Without him.
Lisbon threw her purse and jacket on her sofa. She walked straight to the bathroom and turned on the bath. She needed it. She hadn't had a proper wash in over a week. She gathered a glass, a bottle of wine, and the current book she was reading.
She walked into her bedroom and stripped down to her underwear. She threw her bra and panties on her bed, where they fell and slid onto the floor. Little did she know, her clothes had knocked over something special left for her. The item fell to the side of her bed, covered by the clothes.
Lisbon slowly lowered her body into the steaming water. It felt amazing. She poured herself a glass of wine, took a sip, and laid her head back to rest on the tub. Her mind was consumed with thoughts of Jane. She gulped the rest of the wine down in one go. Now, in the solitude of her apartment, she finally broke down. The tears immediately started rolling down her rosy cheeks. Silent sobs racked her body. She tried her hardest to hold in her cries. She succeeded for about 5 seconds. Then her mouth burst open. She rested her head on her folded knees, wrapped her arms around herself, and closed her eyes. She couldn't stop. She was all alone.
Jane had finally left her. How could she be so naive. She actually thought Jane would resist the temptation to kill Red John. She started to believe that he would hold out for her. He would restrain himself. She laughed, who was she kidding. Of course she didn't matter that much. Revenge was Jane's number one goal in life. Why. Why did she have to fall for him. She was Stupid. How could she be so stupid.