A/N: Any girl is attainable, right? Sirius tries to get a date with Dolores, but soon he finds out there's a reason she's never had a boyfriend. Sirius/Dolores. Set in the Marauders' Era. The Marauders are in Fifth or Sixth Year, while Umbridge is in Fourth. Thanks to Dragon MoonX for her help with developing the plot.
Submission for:
Potter-mon (Pokemon) Competition: Round 1 - Dolores Umbridge/Sirius Black. Prompt/Attack: Blood quill. Theme: Romance.
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments): Herbology Assignment #11 -Write about someone who conceals a part of their personality, or something that is important to them, and how this thing is revealed to someone else.
It was a lovely afternoon which found James and Sirius lingering in the third floor corridor of the magnificent school of Hogwarts as students trotted off to their different classes. They spoke quietly to themselves, enjoying their free period before Transfiguration as the warm sun from the adjacent window shone through their dark hair, casting them in an appealing glow.
Sirius winked at a couple of passing Ravenclaws who were taking in the view, prompting James to chuckle at his friend's antics. "Calm it down, Sirius. You don't have to get every girl that walks pass."
Sirius tossed his head back, making sure the cute one, the one on the right, was watching before he said, "I don't have to, but I can."
James was about to say something more when there was a little cough from behind him. He turned, Sirius peeking around his body, to see a squat little Fourth Year, the sunlight catching on the silver threads in her tie.
"Umbridge," Sirius spat. "Always a pleasure to be graced by your lovely presence."
"No loitering in the hallways," she said, pursing her lips as she took in their dishevelled appearances.
"There's no rule against it, Umbridge," Sirius said, stepping around James to stand right in front of the smaller girl. "But if you ask nicely, we may reconsider."
She scoffed before turning on her heel, her short brown hair swishing around her shoulders as she walked away from them.
"Like anyone would actually listen to that Slytherin toad," Sirius muttered under his breath.
"Well that's one girl you don't have to worry about trying to get, Sirius," James said, as he resumed his relaxed position on the wall. "She completely hates your guts."
"Umbridge?" Sirius asked. "If I wanted her, she would be putty in my hands, just like any other girl here."
James shook his head. "Not her. She reserves a special place in Hell just for you, Padfoot."
There was a loud sound as the Clock Tower marked the end of their free period. "Come, let's head to Transfiguration," James said, rising off the wall as he shouldered his bookbag and tugged his friend along. Sirius simply followed, his mind caught on thoughts he never thought possible - getting Dolores Umbridge.
Dolores tipped on her toes, stretching to her tallest as she tried to reach the Potions text on the tallest shelf. Curse her father for being so short and giving her such horrible genes.
But suddenly, there was someone behind her, a much taller, male presence who extended his hand above hers and easily pulled the book of place. "Reaching for this?" the male asked and Dolores could practically see the cocky grin on his face above her head.
"Black!" she shrieked, turning around and snatching the book from his hands. "What are you doing here?"
He smiled, that dazzling smile he only gave to the pretty girls, and said, "Can't I help out a damsel in distress?"
She let out a little noise as she walked around him. "I didn't need your kind of help, Black."
But then his arm caught her shoulder, spinning her around to look straight into his grey eyes, not that she ever took notice of his eyes, never. "Look, Umbridge. I'm trying to be nice here, so just-"
Dolores shrugged his hand off, interrupting him as she said, "This is just some trick, isn't it, Black? There's no reason for you to be nice to me. You hate my guts and I hate yours, just as it's always been."
His eyes darted about before he said, "Maybe... I'm trying to... start over?"
Dolores could have laughed out loud at that one, but then she had an idea. If Black was serious, then she had the ultimate test. "Alright then, Black," she said, extending her hand to him. "If you're truly trying to change, meet me in the abandoned Potions classroom in the next two hours," she said.
Black rose a neatly-shaped eyebrow as he shook her hand and asked, "But isn't that after hours?"
"Scared?" she teased.
Black shook his head, "Not at all. Just thought you were always a stickler for the rules."
Now Dolores laughed. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Black," she said as she exited the aisle they were in with the Potions text in hand.
"I did it!" Sirius said as he entered the Gryffindor common room and threw himself down on the couch next to Peter.
"Did what?" James asked from his seat across the couch, locked in a fierce Wizard chess game against Remus.
"I got Umbridge to go out with me," Sirius said, his lips stretching over his mouth in a wide grin.
"What?" his friends chorused, their heads whipping around to see if he had finally lost his marbles.
"Well, actually not yet, but after I see her again tonight, it'll be easy," he explained.
"But you said it yourself today, she's a Slytherin toad. Why would you want to go out with her?" James asked.
"To prove that I can get any girl," Sirius defended. "And I might even be the first. Have you noticed that she's never had a boyfriend, not even Crabbe or Goyle?"
"So this is just a prank?" Peter asked.
Sirius shrugged. "It's not a prank. It's just a date and then I'll break it off," he said.
"This is a horrible idea, Sirius," Remus said. "She might think it's something more and you'll crush her."
"Guys, it's just Umbridge," Sirius said. "She'll get over it and go back to hating my guts soon enough." He rose from the couch and said, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to freshen up," before he headed towards the boys' dormitories.
Sirius stole through the castle, keeping to the shadows as he made his way to the abandoned Potions classroom in the dungeons. It was a bit tricky keeping out of Filch's way without borrowing the Map, but it would all be worth it in the end when he swayed Umbridge to his side.
But why did this matter so much to him? This was just Umbridge. On a regular day, he wouldn't have thought twice about her, but it was what James had made her that drove his mission. James had basically called her unattainable, off-limits and for Sirius, someone who had grown up within limits all his childhood life, he wouldn't stand for any more. Dolores Umbridge would be his.
He was soon standing right outside the classroom, the door left open just a sliver to tell him that he was at the right place. He looked up and down the corridor, before he pushed it slightly and slipped in.
"Umb- Dolores?" he asked, his eyes not adjusted to the darkness of the room.
There was a slight whisper before the torches blazed to life, the Slytherin girl stowing away her wand as she sat behind the teacher's desk. "Hello, Black," she said.
He grinned, trying not to let his discomfort show on his face, as he walked towards her. "Call me Sirius," he said.
She smiled back at him, her closed mouth stretching across her face like a long zipper. "I'm glad you showed tonight, Sirius," she said. "I have something to show you."
"What is it, pet?" he asked, leaning across the desk and falling into his usual flirting routine. Though toad-like, Umbridge was still a girl. All his tricks would soon have their effect.
However, she was still unfazed as she reached beneath the desk and pulled out a slender black box and lifted the lid. Sirius took one look before he jumped back, his eyes widened as he looked towards her smiling face and the item inside.
"Why do you have one of those?" he asked.
"Ah, so you know what they are," she said, reaching inside to pull out of the beautiful black quill, its tip sharpened to a fine point which reflected the flickering torchlight. "It was a gift from a friend and a truly marvellous piece of magic."
Sirius swallowed, watching as she twiddled the long feather in her hand, touching the tip with a stubby finger. "And why do you have it here?" he asked.
She let out a light laugh. "It's going to mark the beginning of our new relationship, Sirius. We are going to write each other's name on our hands." Then she lifted her own to show the slight redness of her skin. "I've already started," she added.
Sirius screamed before he ran out of the room. He spirited up the castle steps, uncaring if Filch or McGonagall saw him out after hours. He had to get away from that crazed girl.
The door to the dormitory opened with a bang as Sirius stumbled in, startling the two Gryffindor boys who were still awake while Peter remained completely dead to the world.
"Sirius, what happened?" James asked, he and Remus jumping from their beds to Sirius' side. "Did Umbridge do something to you?"
Sirius looked into both of their worried faces as he tried to calm him breathing long enough to say, "Now I know exactly why Umbridge doesn't have a boyfriend. She's bloody mad."