Okay! So here's the deal: I was really bored and was searching random fanfics. I looked for one on One-Eye cuz she's cool, but there was nothing! NO THING!!! So I came up with this out of nowhere. It's just pretty much about how she hates Firepaw cuz I've always imagined her hating him for no reason! And I can't believe I'm actually publishing this! It is also my first humor fanfic, and it will be very short. So be nice!

If I owned Warriors, Firestar and Spottedleaf would have never even looked at each other, the three would be Squirrelflight's, Leafpool wouldn't be exiled, and Crowfeather wouldn't be an emotionless zombie. But that's just me, right?

"Where're them dang youngun's at?!" One-Eye complained talking like a hillbilly. Smallear rocked a couple more times and drew in a huge breath from his paper bag, which he called, 'Pappy Baggers'.

Dappletail groaned. "One-Eye, that is the 327th time you asked that question to no one in particular. KNOCK IT OFF!!!!" As you can see, Dappletail is the brains and the spazz of the group.

Just then the klutzy Firepaw rushed in, only making it 3 steps before tripping over nothing.

***SLOW MOTION***

Firepaw's legs flailing everywhere, tongue out, flying through the air...

"CURSE YOU, NOTHING!!!!"

***end of slo-mo-moment***

Firepaw's scream awoke Smallear from his 'happy time' and sent him twitching and gagging on his own saliva again. Dappletail sighed and jabbed the needle in his arm again. Dr. Fishbobb had entrusted it to her after screening her for insanity. Nope, nothing, just anger management and chronic paranoia.

"AAAAH!!" Smallear squeaked. "Pretty-- unicorn... I'm a baby butterfly..." Dappletail tossed the needle away as he began snoring. "Well, that should hold him till the next Gathering." she said.

One-Eye stared down at Firepaw, who was still on the ground and was now cringing under her glare. "WHERE IS MY VEGGIE BURGER ROTISSERY?!?!?!" Firepaw's eye twitched and he clapped one paw over it. "Uh-da-I-ja-ba-wah-wuh-I-I-I didn't know you wanted one, you didn't tell me, there was no notice, EEP!!!" He curled up in a shivering ball on the floor of the elder's den and waited his daily dosage of One-Eye pain.

One-Eye didn't move. Firepaw waited 20 minutes before peeking out from his 'protective stance'. She was still glaring at him. He scrambled his paws.

"Look, don't yell--"

"GET ME MY VEGGIE BURGER ROTISSERY!!!!"

"EEEEP!" Firepaw began to scramble off, only to slip and fall over Pappy Baggers, thus waking up Smallear, thus causing him to scream, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PAPPY BAGGERS?!?!?!", thus breaking One-Eye's hearing aid, thus making it screech in her ear, thus causing her to--

"*&^%$#!#$%*)(*&^%$!$%^&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Well, yeah.

Then Firepaw attempted to run away, only to be pinned down by One-Eye while she beat him with her cane as Smallear began fumbling around wildly on the floor for Pappy Baggers while screaming about Mortimer the Demon Bunny and his evil celery minions coming to get him. Meanwhile, Dappletail was shaking her head and asking herself why she didn't get paid more for this.

Yes I know it was horrible. Flame if you may, it only hurts on the inside... -.-