Title: Living in My Heart
Author: Smiler
Email: smiler@stargate-sg1.hu
Category: Missing Scene, Jack POV
Status: Complete
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Season: Six
Spoilers: Frozen
Summary: Jack's thoughts during Frozen
Warnings: None
Archive: Jackfic.com
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.
Authors Notes: My first fic(let) I ever finished... Thanks to Steph, Arnise, Camilla and Corine. And...of course Sandra W:) Thanks for bulcouraging me for doing this :) And Arnise.big thanks for the title!
Feedback: yes, please! Tell me what you think.
~~~~~~Living in My Heart~~~~~~
I lay there on the bunk, knowing I was running a fever, my body knowing nothing but pain. I saw Aiyana enter, she rushed to Jonas' side. I knew she'd come to me next. I waited and waited... but she never came. Then I heard the door opening. I couldn't see who entered, but felt the Doc's soothing cool hand on my forehead. Her voice was comforting, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I'm sure she was worrying. I knew I was pretty ill, and I knew Aiyana didn't heal me. Wasn't sure if she healed all the others, but somehow I felt she left out only me. My Irish luck just had to end somewhere.
Can't remember what happened after that, time was all messed up. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them next, saw the haz-mat guys. I wanted to say hello to them, but the lack of oxygen convinced me to gulp some more air instead of talking. Then I found myself in the Iso-chamber, looking at Doc.
She was telling me something about seeing me soon. How soon I saw her again, I'll have to ask her later. My eyes closed and sleep overtook me. Next time I woke up, or at least I think I woke, Doc was next to me again, in that haz-mat suit, so I knew I was back on base. I was tired, my head hurt, and I just wanted to sleep - for years. I felt the pinch of a needle enter my arm, and I drifted off again.
I'm not sure how long I was sleeping but I heard Carter talking to me. She told me softly that Aiyana was dead. Nice, I thought, so I'll die too. Then she said something about the Tok'ra, something about a symbiote, healing me, becoming a host, only temporary. I thought - I hate snakes. It doesn't matter if they are called Goa'uld or Tok'ra. They are just snakes. I can't trust them. Never really understood how Jacob could say yes to a snake in the head. I tried to open my eyes to see her. It wasn't easy, but I managed. Took some air in my lungs, god, that just hurt like hell. And I told her, 'Over my dead body'. No, thanks, I don't want a snake to my head. There are enough demons in here already, I don't need any more. She looked at me, and told me the Tok'ra had vital information. That the symbiote would sacrifice itself rather then stay in an unwilling host, than stay in me. I still couldn't say yes. It was just unimaginable for me to have someone else reading my thoughts, all my memories, from my childhood to Iraq, from Sara to Charlie.
Charlie. An image came into my mind. Charlie was playing baseball. I just arrived home, and he was running to me. He asked me "Dad, come, play with me!" and when I said no, 'I need to go in the house first', he just said: "Please". I couldn't say no. I want to live, don't want to forget Charlie ever. As long as I live, he lives in my mind, in my heart. I collected all my strength, breathed deeply and nodded yes.
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Author: Smiler
Email: smiler@stargate-sg1.hu
Category: Missing Scene, Jack POV
Status: Complete
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Season: Six
Spoilers: Frozen
Summary: Jack's thoughts during Frozen
Warnings: None
Archive: Jackfic.com
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; all the powers that be, not me; This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.
Authors Notes: My first fic(let) I ever finished... Thanks to Steph, Arnise, Camilla and Corine. And...of course Sandra W:) Thanks for bulcouraging me for doing this :) And Arnise.big thanks for the title!
Feedback: yes, please! Tell me what you think.
~~~~~~Living in My Heart~~~~~~
I lay there on the bunk, knowing I was running a fever, my body knowing nothing but pain. I saw Aiyana enter, she rushed to Jonas' side. I knew she'd come to me next. I waited and waited... but she never came. Then I heard the door opening. I couldn't see who entered, but felt the Doc's soothing cool hand on my forehead. Her voice was comforting, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I'm sure she was worrying. I knew I was pretty ill, and I knew Aiyana didn't heal me. Wasn't sure if she healed all the others, but somehow I felt she left out only me. My Irish luck just had to end somewhere.
Can't remember what happened after that, time was all messed up. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them next, saw the haz-mat guys. I wanted to say hello to them, but the lack of oxygen convinced me to gulp some more air instead of talking. Then I found myself in the Iso-chamber, looking at Doc.
She was telling me something about seeing me soon. How soon I saw her again, I'll have to ask her later. My eyes closed and sleep overtook me. Next time I woke up, or at least I think I woke, Doc was next to me again, in that haz-mat suit, so I knew I was back on base. I was tired, my head hurt, and I just wanted to sleep - for years. I felt the pinch of a needle enter my arm, and I drifted off again.
I'm not sure how long I was sleeping but I heard Carter talking to me. She told me softly that Aiyana was dead. Nice, I thought, so I'll die too. Then she said something about the Tok'ra, something about a symbiote, healing me, becoming a host, only temporary. I thought - I hate snakes. It doesn't matter if they are called Goa'uld or Tok'ra. They are just snakes. I can't trust them. Never really understood how Jacob could say yes to a snake in the head. I tried to open my eyes to see her. It wasn't easy, but I managed. Took some air in my lungs, god, that just hurt like hell. And I told her, 'Over my dead body'. No, thanks, I don't want a snake to my head. There are enough demons in here already, I don't need any more. She looked at me, and told me the Tok'ra had vital information. That the symbiote would sacrifice itself rather then stay in an unwilling host, than stay in me. I still couldn't say yes. It was just unimaginable for me to have someone else reading my thoughts, all my memories, from my childhood to Iraq, from Sara to Charlie.
Charlie. An image came into my mind. Charlie was playing baseball. I just arrived home, and he was running to me. He asked me "Dad, come, play with me!" and when I said no, 'I need to go in the house first', he just said: "Please". I couldn't say no. I want to live, don't want to forget Charlie ever. As long as I live, he lives in my mind, in my heart. I collected all my strength, breathed deeply and nodded yes.
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