Ok, I doing this for the lulz of it. EdwardxRenesmeexJacob. Eww, I know. Sick! Yes, very much so, but the twilight series needs some spicing up. The writing style for this fic is gonna be extremely different from my other fics. Edward, the child moslester. Actually, I don't really know what to call it. Flame me all you like. It makes my day. Srsly :] I think flames are funny. Possibly the biggest reason why I'm making this story. Also, if you squint your eyes carefully, you'll see that I'm making fun of Meyer's writing style.

I Can't Resist You

Ch.1

Everything was dreadfully quite in the Cullen house hold. Things had changed. Not too much, no. Little things had. Jacob still came around, like everyday. Smothering me in affection. It was cute. Seth came around too. He was fun to be around too. Always joking around, and smiling no matter what. Then there was HER. Always giving me dirty looks. Always leering at me whenever I was around Jacob. Often she wound mindlessly kick up dirt at me when she was a wolf. Enough about her though.

How long has it been now? 4 years? I'm a teenage now. Already fully blossumed onto womanhood. Curvy body, full d-cup breasts, and shiny rainbow colors reflected off my skin. I'm so SPECIAL. Everyone in my family tells me that. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful loving family. You know, dispite the fact the vampires are suppost to feel feelings. Things have been so off lately.

I'm mean, it's already bad enough that Jacob's been acting all weird lately. Like when we were sitting in the living room on the couch. He started feeling my thigh up. The sensual movements his overly large hand was kinda turning me on. Then his hand slipped between my thighs more, then started going north. I felt myself starting to sweat. I knew where this was going, and fast.

Jacob usually did this when none of my family was around. Then I had to remind him, using my super awesomely awesome super vampire powers, by knocking his lights out, and screaming at I was only 4. Time and time again. It was like, so annoying. Then he'd stock angerly out of the room, then run outside screaming 'cunt' and other colorful words like that. I always felt like kicking him where it hurt the most when he pulled that crap on me.

Oh, trust me, thats not the worst of it. I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Strange feelings. I don't know if it's the human part of me, or not. It scares me. Pains me. To be thinking like this of my own father this. Why? Why me? I can't even look my own mother in the eye anymore.

I get this strange hot feeling around him. Like when Jacob trys to put the moves on me by touching me there. But my dad isn't touching me, at all. He just sees me as his little angel, his daughter. I'm glad actually. Maybe this will pass. Yeah. I'm just going crazy, right? I hope so.

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This is painful for me to write. Really it is. I already feel like vomiting everywhere. Hopefully I'm not the only one. Fear not special ED-ward fangrls. I'm gonna to make him the victim of the story.

Damn, I shouldn't have spoiled that.....