Never let you go. An Oliver/Felicity fic. One shot.

I look at myself in the mirror. All I see are scars and wounds. A damaged person. Lost. Confused. Broken. I close my eyes and walk away, I can't look at it anymore.

It's been three months since she went away, and every night, I dream about it. I have the most vivid, horrible nightmares about it.

Her body, covered in blood, lying on the concrete. A bullet on her chest. Right on her heart.

I close my eyes again. That vision is chasing me, torturing me every single day since it happened.

But it also gave me the courage and strength to seek for revenge. I went around the world looking for him, and when I finally found him, I put twelve arrows on his chest.

We had been together for a year.

'Ollie?' I hear my sister Thea say 'can I come in?'

I put my shirt back on and nod at her, in silence. I haven't talked a lot since that night.

'How are you feeling?'

'Not in the mood to talk' I say dryly.

'Ollie, we have to talk. It's been three months already, everyone is freaking out. They are worried about you and…'

'Who's worried?' I ask her while I look through the window. I can't help but feel extremely alone.

'Mom, me, Walter, John, Lau…'

'She is not worried. She doesn't care' I turn around and look at my sister with killer eyes. That kind of face used to scare her to hell, but now she seems unaffected by it.

'She does. She is your friend, Oliver. We are your family. I get it. You have lost a very important person, I…'

'A very important person?' I feel tears coming out of my eyes. Everytime I talk about her, I end up crying like a baby 'She was not a very important person, Thea. She was the only person in this world that understood, supported and accepted me for who I am. She saw all the damage, she saw all the pain and still, she loved me with all she got. She was not a very important person. She was the only one.'

By now, I'm sitting on my bed and my face is wet with tears. Me, Oliver Queen, crying out loud. I've been through hell during five years and here I am, crying over a memory.

'Ollie' She sits next to me on the bed and takes my hand. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin on mine 'Felicity was an incredible woman. We all know how much you loved her. And how much she loved you. We all miss her' I hear her chocking on her own tears 'but being miserable, not talking to anybody and dying slowly won't bring her back. You went after the one who killed her and did your job with him. Now you have to do the more important thing. You have to let her go.'

'No!' I jump out of the bed and look at her horrified. She looks back at me with tears on her eyes.

I go to the window and take a deep breath. Thinking about letting her go is lethal to me. I can't breathe properly, I swallow heavily and close my eyes trying to control my tears.

'Thea, please, go' I command softly. I hear Thea standing up and walking towards the door.

'You are not alone, Ollie' She says before she closes the door behind her.

I look at the sky and smile. She is somewhere up there, looking at me with her glasses and that beautiful smile. I know that. I can feel it.

'I will never let you go, Felicity Queen.'