Chapter One:

Facing Reality

After that first night with Grell I found that I really did sleep with him and that I wasn't just dreaming. I had been trying to convince myself that you could talk him into it, but I always feared that he would laugh and me in disgust. Little did I know Grell would have haply fucked me if I had just asked. I only found this out when on Saturday morning I woke up wrapped in his arms, oh and my ass hurt so much that I couldn't stand let alone walk. Things seemed to be doing well for me but I don't know much about Grell, he would fuck me whenever I asked but something seemed off about him. So here I am pondering all these things, I want to ask but then I am afraid that he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

I turn my head as Grell enters the room, he doesn't look so well I wonder what's on his mind. "Sebby… Ceil was looking for you."

Never mind… now I wish that I didn't know, "Oh… do… do you think I should go talk to him… "

He doesn't give it much thought I can tell by the look he gives me before he answers, "Do whatever you want Sebby."

That really hurt… I want to ask more but I am afraid that if I do Grell will start yelling at me… So off I go. I got up and walked out of our room shutting the door quietly behind me. As I walk down the stair I notice Ciel waiting for me, looks like he told Grell to come and get me.

"Hi Ciel," I wave me hand at him and he give me a dirty look.

"What took you so long Sebastian, I need your help. You are to help me…"

I gulp down a bit of air, I haven't told Ciel that I am going to find him a new study partner or that my roommate is my boyfriend. "Sorry just thinking and I lost track of time."

Only part of that was true, I was thinking but I was also waiting for Grell to come back to our room. I really wanted to talk to him. And yet here I am talking to Ciel about something instead of Grell about our relationship and the way that he has been acting of late. I do get a feeling it has something to do with me… and maybe Ciel… Ciel is always the issue.

Ciel is tired of standing around I can tell, he grabs my hand and pulls me off to his room more home work for me to help him with. Why am I always doing it? I know that Ciel is like any other person but I don't think that I have ever seen him touch himself… maybe that's what he needs, he needs someone to touch him. Then he would leave me to my boy friend. My thoughts wander for so long that I miss a bright haired blond boy skip over to us and I run right into him.

"Sebastian watch where you are going!"
I nodded my head then bowed to the boy that I had walked into, "My deepest apologies."

The blond boy got up and shook his hand, "Don't worry about it." He runs off and I see Claude out of the corner of my eye follow him. So this boy was the person that Claude had come to like. I began to walk off again when Ciel stopped this time.

"Sebastian, Hey wait up…" Yelled an unfamiliar voice

I turned to look who was calling me; A tall woman with short red hair was running towards me. I noted that she usually hung around Grell. She was wearing a long red skirt that I assumed was part of the school dress code, a long sleeved white blouse and red heals. I wasn't all that sure how in the world she was running over here in what she was wearing… what did Grell say, her name was again… Come on it was a color… I looked at her a little longer she was now standing next to me.

"Um…"

"Sorry, you don't know me… but Grell is always talking about you. My name is Madam Red, but you can just call me Red."

"Right, how may I help you?" It was time to turn on the charm Ciel was getting really annoyed I could tell.

"Well I wanted to know if you had seen Grell, he was supposed to help me with a little issue."

"He is in our dorm room."

"We already checked there." Piped up a voice from out of nowhere

I turned around to the voice to see a blond girl standing next to Ciel. She looked a lot different the Red. Actually she was wearing a short red skirt, white blouse and a red vest. But what made her a stand out even more was her, thy high red sock and her knee high black boots. She was shorter than Ciel by a little and her long fingers held long red nails and a gold ring that stood out from Ciel's pale white shirt. I turned back around to finish my conversation with Red when I heard Ciel voice.

"Your hair looks really nice when it's down Lizzy."

"I am sorry that you couldn't find him… I would offer to help you look but I have prier arrangements."

Red looked over her shoulder and winked, "Are you sure you don't know…?"

Ceil's voice was timed, "You can help them… look…"

I turned around to see the girl Ciel called Lizzy leaning on Ciel. She was a little shorter than him. Ciel was blushing a hard red as she made circles on his chest with her fingers. I would have to guess that she was one of the girls that could get any one in her bed. "I can help you study Ciel."

"Sure you could…" I whispered, "Study how to fuck you."

Red grabbed my arm, "Well then it's settled Elizabeth will help Ciel and you can help me. Liz, be a good girl."

Red pulled me away from the two of them just as Lizzy pulled Ciel off. We ran in some unknown direction until we were standing outside the dorm house again. I looked over at Red; I thought that they had already tired here…

"Didn't you try here already?" I questioned.

"Well no, actually I'm not looking for him. I am helping, and don't worry Liz is not going to do anything to Ciel. She doesn't even like him, not in that way."

I look at her, "Helping?"

"Just go back to your room. You shouldn't leave your lover all alone up there… he might do something he might regret later."

Then she turned and left me, I walked up the stairs to mine and Grell's room. As I unlocked the door I could hear panting… I really didn't want to know what he was doing, but I entered the room anyways. The lights were off, so I couldn't really see anything. So all I did was just stand there. I stood there until the lamp by Grell's bed flipped on.

"Going to stand there all day Sebastian?"

I could tell that he was mad at me… he only ever calls me by my real name when he is giving me commands, when he is screaming my name when he cum's or when he is mad at me, "I… I just thought… I thought you wanted some privacy… I'm sorry I was just leaving…"

He smirks, "You never were any good at telling a lie."

I swallowed hard, "I guess."

"To tell you the truth I knew you came in the second you unlocked the door. Why did you just stand there? You usually don't do that?"

"You usually aren't panting on your bed with the lights turned out…"
I knew that I shouldn't have said that, but I needed to get it out, "Oh… want to join me?"

He smirked, I could reel the blood draining from my face. "No…"

Actually I wanted to talk to him… about why he had been so angry with me… I know that he has needs as well, I mean he is a guy… and I was with Ciel so he could do that… then pass out and when I got back not be awake to talk to me or do anything with me. Not even a good night kiss. I let out a sigh; he was doing this more often than not now. It hurt that he liked his hand more than me or my hand…

"Why don't you come here Sebastian? You want to talk don't you, so let's talk."

I closed my eyes and moved over to him sitting on the edge of his bed, his shirt was off and his pants opened. Hair was every which way and I really wanted to reach up and fix it, but I didn't want to get my hand swatted away.

"You… you seem to be mad at me quite a bit… actually what you were just doing proves it… the way you say my name say it as well."

"Oh I am mad at you now…? Well I am sure there is some reason for all of this."

I knew it… he wasn't going to tell me… "What did I do…? I'm sorry, I will try to fix it… but what did I do."

"I am not going to talk to you if you turn on the water works," He huffed out.

I could feel them coming but I tried my best to keep them in. I wanted him to talk to me. "Please tell me Grell, what did I do. I will fix it I promise."

"Actually I think Liz is fixing it for you right now, you should thank her. She never wears clothing like that or her hair down. She is so very conservative."

It started to click; I had seen that girl before, Lizzy. Or well Elizabeth, the Elizabeth… She was the Daughter of the man that owned this school… of course that meant that she didn't have to wear the school uniform… and she always had her hair up in pigtails. Ciel never shut up about her.

"This is all about Ciel…?" I questioned knowing very good and well what the answer was going to be.

"What do you think Sebastian? What do you think?"
I looked at him, "I think it is… I just don't know… I don't know what about him and me this is all. You know that I am not sleeping with him… he only ever talks about Elizabeth…"

"So what do you do when you're with him? Coach him on how to get her?"

"No… I am his tutor."

I smile a little at Grell, but he doesn't smile back at me. "Have you told him about us yet?"

I look down, "n…no… I haven't found the right time."

Grell looks away, "I hate to do this to you but… Sebastian no Sex till you tell Ciel that you and I are together and you find him a new tutor. You are my boyfriend; I want to spend more time with you. I want to show you off to the world. I can't do that if he is always got you."

I look at him nervously, "But…"

"No buts, none, tell him or you are going to feel very deprived. "

With that he turned off the light and lay back down on his bed. I closed my eyes curling up and the end of his bed. I felt Grell pull me to him. I lay there next to him, feeling his warm embrace for the last time in a while. If I wanted to feel this again I was going to have to talk to Ciel.

Authors note: Hey there. Just wanted to say that Black Butler does not belong to me. But all the ideas and themes do, so don't steal them I worked hard on this. Just as promised this is the Squeal to 'If Only a Girl' I promise that is will get more interesting. I know that right now it isn't. No Elizabeth is not a slut, and this is not going to be an Elizabeth bashing because I actually like her. Please Review, Review, review. I would love you so much. Thank You.
-Ggeri Sminth