Had to get this out of my head.
Ryan Murphey owns Quinn and Rachel.
"If you don't come down this weekend, I'll punch you in the vagina," she threatened.
"You can't punch someone in the vagina, Jillian."
"Watch me."
I didn't dare try to fight her on this.
"I'm buying the tickets now. Happy," I ask with exasperation.
"Yes. Now hang up, and start packing. Aubrey and I will pick you up at the station."
With a sigh I say 'okay' and do as I was told.
It wasn't my first time on the Amtrak. I had used it quite a bit to visit the two girls on the weekend, but since the breakup I saw no point in going anymore. I wanted to avoid seeing her as much as possible but Jillian threatened to punch me in the vagina so. Yeah. But if I'm being honest...since the breakup…I saw no point in going anywhere or doing anything. What was the point? I would just make everything awkward and sad. It's been almost seven months now since she broke me. That's why Jil wanted me to visit so bad. She wants to help me. Bless her heart but I doubt anyone could fix me now.
"Those traveling to Salinas, please board now."
Do you ever just listen to music and play out scenes in your head? Well that's all I do throughout the train ride. My little "movies" are usually sad because that's allI feel. If you could say that I'm even feeling at all. I hadn't felt this numb since my parents disowning me when I came out to them. I met her two weeks after that whole ordeal. She helped me get back on my feet. She was an angel, my savior. I was so grateful to have her in my life, I knew I couldn't live without her. Which…ended up being true. I thought I had met the love of my life, but I guess I was wrong about that too.
"We've arrived at Salinas. If you are transferring to Monterrey please make your way to bus 3424. Your bus will arrive shortly"
I'm awakened by the old woman sitting next to me. I didn't even know that I dozed off.
Pulling out my headphones I ask, "yes, ma'am?"
"Could you turn down your music? My poor old ears can handle it being so loud," she says with a small laugh.
"Of course, of course," I say. "I'm sorry."
"No worries, dear."
I move to put the ear buds back in but she stops me.
"You seem very sad, dear. May I ask why," she asks with such concern.
With a sad smile I tell her my heart's broken.
She takes my left hand in both of hers, looks me in the eye and says, "just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can."
She pats my hand, lets go, and leaves to the bathroom? I don't know we're on a bus but gosh I did not see that happening. I think she just quoted Nicholas Sparks.
"We are five minutes away from arriving at our destination. Please gather your belongings."
As soon as I'm off the bus I'm crushed by two bodies. I'm hoping they're Jillian and Aubrey.
"I've missed you so much, Quinn," is yelled in my ear. Who did the yelling? I don't know. All I know is that I'm probably deaf now.
But I can't help but smile and say, "I've missed you too."
After getting my luggage in the car we stop to get lunch at In-N-Out because that's how we roll. We catch up. I tell them about school, work, my cat. They tell me about their boyfriends, classes, work. I missed out on so much. When we finish we head to the dorms. Their room is the same. White walls, clothes everywhere, and little miss Mia meowing like always. I crouch down to pet babygirl when Jil informs me that she'll be my snuggle buddy for the weekend, and that we're going to a party tonight.
"Wait, what party? I didn't come here for a party," I say picking up Mia, holding her to my chest. Of course she jumps out of them.
"You need to get back out there, Q. This isn't like you," says Aubrey.
"What isn't like me? Being sad? Well geez, sorry for getting my heart broken," I reply with malice. I plop myself on Jil's bed, cross my arms, and look out the window. How could she say that to me! I feel the bed dip, and a hand on my shoulder.
"What she means, Quinn, is that we hate seeing you like this," Jil says. "We hate seeing you so broken."
I look to her, hearing the sadness lacing her voice.
"We just thought a night out would take your mind off of things. Off of her."
"Is she gonna be there?"
They both shake their heads saying 'no' and 'that she transferred schools'.
After a moment I swallow audibly and ask, "what time's the party?"
At this they squeal. The party is at eight, at a classmate's house. They decide that now, four o'clock in the afternoon, is good time to start getting ready. Girls.
We arrive at the party around nine and it's already pretty lively. People are dancing, drinking, talking. Jillian and Aubrey are immediately drawn to the crowd. Everyone seems to be having fun but I still feel...empty. I get myself a bottle of beer from the fridge, lean against the kitchen, shakily run a hand through my freshly cut hair, and begin my people watching.
"I can't believe you guys brought me here," I say. What were they thinking?!
Leo comes up to me, wraps an arm around my shoulder and says, "we just thought you could use a night out, some time to let loose and have a little fun."
"Yeah," Michale exclaims. "We just want you to be you again."
"Well according to half those people in there I'm already loose enough," I say with animosity.
The boys duck their heads down, knowing what I'm talking about.
With a sigh, I say,"if I see Trevor at all tonight, you two won't hear the end of it. Do you understand?"
The boys nod spewing out promises of not seeing Trevor. I keep an eye out for Trevor as we make our way through the crowd. So far so good, but I can't shake the feeling that something's gonna happen tonight. Because I'm so lost in thought I run into someone.
"Oh my! I'm so sorr- Jillian!"
Realizing it's me, she screams, "Rachel," and pulls me in for a hug.
Laughing still as I pull out the embrace I ask, "how are you?"
"I'm good," she says with a smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Leo and Michale thought I could use a night out."
"Ah," she says with a knowing look. "Well I'm glad you showed up, Rach. You've truly been missed," she tells me, taking a hold of my hand.
"Thanks, Jill," I reply, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
I decide to stay sober in case Trevor shows up. I need to be alert. Currently, Leo and Aubrey are talking, more like arguing, about who's going to win the voice. Machale is telling Jil about his latest date with Leo. I scan the crowd again, and notice a girl with short blonde hair walk out to the backyard. I leave my friends without a word, and slowly make my way to the backyard. Stopping in front of the sliding glass door, I watch her, her back facing me. She finishes her beer,and tosses the empty bottle into the bushes. I'll have to chastise her about littering. She sits her herself on the grass, pulls her knees to the chest, and just looks up at the night sky.
I couldn't stand the loud music anymore, so I went to the backyard thinking I could be alone. I hear the glass door slide open and close, and sigh. Why can't I catch a break? I then hear two small thumps on the deck, and someone walking through the grass towards me. I realize it's a girl when she sits down next me. She folds her legs under herself because of the dress she's wearing. I feel myself become less annoyed with her sitting next to me, I start to find...comfort? I chance a quick glance at her, and can't help but think how pretty she is. She's exotic, she's alluring, she's so stunning that I'm speechless. Which is good because when she looks at me I lose my breath. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. There's so much to look at. Her long, dark brown, curly hair. Her sparkling, brown eyes. Those plump, deliciously pink lips. Those eyes! Damn she's beautiful.
I can't read her expression but she just clearly checked me out, right? I think she did but she still hasn't said anything. I hold her gaze for another second before tearing my eyes away from those hazel orbs and looking up at the sky.
I can still feel her eyes on me as I say,"it's so beautiful out here." And it truly is.
She still doesn't say anything so I fill the silence.
"I wish I knew about constellations, astronomy, and all that. I'll never learn about them though because of my major."
She's gazing up at the stars again.
"What's your major," she asks.
I proudly say,"musical theater."
"So you wanna be on Broadway?"
"Yes. I'm going to be on Broadway someday. It's my dream," I reply animatedly.
She looks at me with a smile on her face and I'm at a loss for words. This girl...is gorgeous. How I'm just noticing this now? I don't know. I tend to get lost in my thoughts like I am now but anyways wow. Everything about her is perfect. Her shiny, blonde, short, choppy hair is perfect. Her strong jawline. Her lips, that smile. Those eyes. God, I might die.
Naturally I hold my hand out to her, "Rachel Berry."
"Quinn Fabray."
I feel a shock...I get goose bumps when our hands meet. And if by the look on her face, she felt it too.
Without trying to seem rude I immediately let go of her hand. I'm shivering but it's not cold out.
"I could teach you," I say.
Her brows furrow in confusion.
With a small chuckle I explain, "about the constellations."
A look of realization appears on her face.
"Oh," she clasps her hands together and flashes me the biggest, and brightest smile I've ever seen. "Please do."
And so I do.
I bump my shoulder into Jil's, point outside and say, "look." She follows my finger and sees what I'm looking at. Quinn and Rachel.
"Oh my god, Aubrey," she exclaims.
Leo and Michale look at us because of Jillian's squealing, then they notice the two outside and start squealing themselves. Geezus.
"I wonder what they're talking about," Leo says in wonderment. We all nod in agreement. What could they possibly be talking about?
Silence takes places between us again. It's comfortable now, it's not awkward.
"Quinn," she says turning her body towards me, "when you came out here, y-you seemed so sad. Why is that?"
With a heavy sigh I tell her why I'm so sad. I tell her everything, and she listens. She fuckin listens to me the whole time. I tell her about the disownment, breakup, depression. When I finish my story, I look to her, expecting her to be looking at me pitifully but she wasn't. I don't know what to say.
"You're a strong woman, Quinn Fabray," she tells me with a small smile.
My lips quirk up at this, but I duck my head down, hair falling in front of my face. I suddenly feel bashful. She gently tucks some behind my ear. A full blown smile crosses my face.
"I-I've never told anyone those things. I've never shared my heart like that, especially to a stranger."
"How do you feel about that fact," she asks with her hand now covering my hand atop of the grass.
Staring at our hands, I watch her slowly lace our fingers together. Feeling that electricity between us again, I say, "I feel like I've known you my whole life, that I can tell you anything."
She gently squeezes my hand, which causes me to look at her beautiful face, and says, "me too, Quinn, me too." Gosh, I love that smile. Wait, what?
She giggles at my confused face, and I can't help but laugh with her.
"What was that look for," she asks with a smirk. Damn.
I laugh nervously, shake my head and reply, "nothing, Rach."
I love how my name sounds coming from her mouth. It makes me smile.
"So Miss Berry, I told you about myself. It only seems fair that you do the same," she says with a smirk. Damn. She wants me to tell her about myself. Probably something deep or meaningful. Fuck.
"Hey," she says while nudging me with her shoulder. Catching my attention, she says to me with conviction, "I won't judge you, Rachel. I promise."
With that declaration I tell her about Trevor. I tell her about breaking up with him. I tell her about exploring my sexuality. I tell her about the bullying and slut shaming that's been happening because of my exploration.
"Where the fuck is this Trevor? I need to kick him in the balls about ten thousand times," she says with such fury. I can tell she means it too.
"Quinn," I chide. I bring my right hand up to brush her hair back, her eyes flutter close. I whisper "he's not worth it."
I ask, "you don't…you don't hate me? You don't think I'm a...slut?"
Her eyes snap open, her gaze intense. She pulls my hand from her hair, holding my hands in hers she says, "of course not, Rachel. I would never think that about you."
I couldn't stop the tears that fell down my face. This woman. I feel her let go of my hands and gently cup my face. The pads of her thumbs sweetly wipe away my fallen tears, and my heart swells.
"I think you're perfect, Rachel Berry, absolutely perfect," she whispers.
I open my eyes and find hers looking back at mine. I mutter, "strangely...that's all I think I need."
All she needs is for me to think she's perfect. Gosh. I can't help but smile. And when she smiles back I feel my heart beat faster.
Still holding her face in my hands, I say, "Rachel?"
She slowly slides her hands up and down my forearms, caresses them, and says ,"yes, Quinn?"
I gulp audibly, and ask, "may I-may I kiss you?"
I'm pretty sure she stopped breathing. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing.
"Please," is all I hear.
The next thing I feel, besides my pounding heart, is her lips against mine. Her deliciously, soft lips brushing against my own. This is heaven, I'm sure of it. The way she tightens her grip on my forearms, the way she pouts when I pull back, the way she pulls me back in for more. It's all heaven. And then when she swipes her tongue against my bottom lip. Fuck. Apparently I said that aloud because she's giggling. But not for long because I need those lips back on mine. Once they are I don't let them leave. Our tongues intertwine, and it's magical. She's magical. She's moaning, I'm groaning. I need her close to me, and so I move to make that happen. Tugging her hip, she gets the hint and straddles my thighs. My hands stay on her hips, squeezing gently because she whimpers every time I do. She runs her fingers through my hair, and my god it feels amazing. Kissing her feels amazing. I never want to stop kissing her. Our bodies become even closer when she wraps an arm around my shoulders. Our breasts are now pressed against each other, I gasp at the sensation. She bites and tugs on my bottom lip, I reward her with a groan. Lips back on my, I fall back, and she falls with me. Her name falls my lips and I feel her smile.
"Yes, Quinn," she murmurs. She doesn't stop kissing me.
"Rach," I chuckle, "please."
She pulls back, hands on either side of my head, and looks at me expectantly.
Gazing into her eyes, I take a deep breath and say, "you are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have." I've seriously read The Notebook too many times.
"I-I love you, Rachel." She hasn't said anything. She isn't doing anything. She's just staring at me. Fuck. I ruined it, I ruined everything. My eyes begin to water. Dammit Quinn, don't cry in front of her. Don't.
I look away knowing the tears will fall any second now when I hear her say, "I love you too, Quinn. God,I love you." And her lips are back on mine. Hearing those words fall from her mouth well it's the sweetest thing.