Sorry guys. Here's another omake. I really wanted to do chapter three of "My HHighschool Girlfriend' this week but it's a very - might I stress - VERY importapter that me, being a perfectionist must get right. So I've redone it again.
Okay, the rundown, Hidan-bashing, slight ItaDei moment, slight PeinXKonan moment, language, and I don't own Naruto but I want to hug Kisame. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy and I'll finish the second chapter. This is just a short story and it is another omake for 'Konan On Top - An Akatsuki Story' and is a sequel to 'Just Another Day With the Akatsuki'.
Somehow a cutely pouting, sobbing masked man had convinced Konan to leave. She wasn't sure how, but it made her cheeks flush with annoyance and embarrassment. That Uchiha and his evil ploys!
Well any ways, that wasn't the worst of it. Not only did he convince her to go out with him for the day - as a cover of course! Konan would NEVER date an idiot like Tobi, would she? - he had also convinced her to go to Konohagakure with him. Konan could not hate this man any more than she did now, but either way, she was going to look nice.
This whole event actually began a few weeks ago after Konan had recovered from being ill. Obito was sitting there babysitting her the entire time like a mother hen. He seemed to be in deep thought about something and had sprung the question on her nervously. Of course, Konan was too shocked to say anything at first but after a few moments and a very flushed face - worrying the raven even more to where he annoyingly glom onto her - she rejected him. Correspondingly, Obito sat there hugging her and crying very realistic tears until she gave in to avoid the agonizing embarrassment. It wouldn't have been a problem in private but nearly all of the Akatsuki was there: Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara. They all mocked and laughed at her - well except Itachi who has about as much facial expression as a rock and Sasori who just wanted everyone to shut up. Oh kami, one day, ONE DAY Obito Uchiha, you WILL get yours, just not today.
So Konan had dressed in her white sundress with blue tattoo roses and a pair of grayish-blue slippers. Her hair was all pulled up into a bun on the top-back of her head and she had two tiny pale blue origami roses decorating the band that held it in place. She put on a light brushing of matching pale lavender eye shadow and a bit of eyeliner and examined herself in the mirror. She wanted to look passable as a civilian or a tourist, but maybe she was trying too hard. Was this all on Obito's account? No! She refused to believe that; she just wanted to look good. She left her room and headed down the hallway.
As soon she stepped into the common room, she suddenly had everyone's attention. She faintly blushed and measured each of their reactions. Kakuzu just looked on probably hoping that Konan didn't spend too much buying the outfit with company funds, considering all she owned were shinobi-issued attire and gear; Hidan was eyeing her perversely and grinning at her; Kisame smiled at her and chuckled heartily; Itachi scanned her for a moment, smirked, and went back to reading; Deidara glared holes into her for a moment before returning to drawing or writing something in a charred leather book; Sasori just stole a glance and returned to dismantling something's head (although it was preferable not to pay attention to that); Leader's eyes widened in horror; and another raven-haired man in the room just looked on in awe.
"Holy fucking Jashin, Konan! We can actually see your tits now! You're fucking hot for a stuck up bitch", Hidan yelled, even though yelling REALLY wasn't necessary.
Before Konan could respond to his 'stuck-up bitch' comment, Kisame cut in. "You look beautiful; I'll have to take you on a date sometime", he said with a wink. "Now tell me, why are you all dressed up poppet?"
Okay, Konan wasn't sure how to take that comment either, considering a poppet was more like a voodoo doll.
Konan blushed more noticeably.
"She's going on a mission to Konohagakure", Kakuzu put in, still glancing over her. "That better not have been over 200 ryo", he said looking straight into Konan's eyes with deadly, inhuman green ones. 'Cheapskate.'
(A/N: Okay guys, one dollar is like ten ryo so technically, he's telling her that she had only $20 to spend on her entire outfit. I spend maybe $15 whenever I buy a dress at Wally world and maybe $22 on shoes. Do the math!)
Konan sweatdropped. "I spent 198, Kakuzu", she answered cautiously. The older, stitched up man glowered at her before nodding in approval.
Next, Deidara's comment.
"I like your shoes and your hair, un", the blond said in a bored, annoyed manner.
Hidan jumped up. "What the fucking hell, man! She's wearing a dress that shows almost ALL the goods and you just say her shoes are fucking pretty?! I didn't even notice she was wearing anything else! I was too busy undressing her with my eyes", he snapped at the blond.
The teen jumped up, "Well not all of us are womanizing assholes like you, hmm!"
Hidan crossed his arms and frowned raising an eyebrow and completely facing Konan again as he spoke to the blond. Oh my Jashin, he was going to say something intelligent! This will NOT end well! "Of all the men here, we all look at women. We all know that you do not. It could be because you're a kid-"
"I'M NOT A KID, UN!"
"Shut the fuck up, you sissy boy pipsqueak! I'm fucking talking and I sound smart." Hidan screamed before proceeding to clear his throat, "As I was saying, I think you're a fag and you stalk Itachi even though you", air quotations, "'hate him'."
Everyone looked at the boy. It was true that not every man would notice a woman's shoes, but was what Hidan said really true? I mean, everyone has heard rumors about Sasori and Itachi, but was it even possible for the puppet to feel lust, or the Sharingan-wielder to be passionate to a lover?
Outside of 'La-La Land', Deidara was on Hidan's chest pounded the living daylights out of him and gathering up explosive chakra to finish the albino off. No one seemed to care, but they were all watching the fight scene."
"Deidara", the dark icy voice of Pein broke through Deidara's and Hidan's commotion, "if you splatter that idiots brains, you're cleaning it up and putting him back together. I don't need a layer of stupidity christening my living room."
Hidan coughed up blood and threw the teen off roughly, knocking him into Itachi's knees. His face landing right on the raven's thighs and his knees knocked the wind out of him when he landed. "Fuck you, 'Leader'", the albino hissed propping himself up on his elbows.
Pein didn't even look at the Jashinist, he only held up his left hand and said, "SHIRA TENSEI!" The albino flew into the wall behind him and left a huge indent on the once pristine, daffodil yellow paint. Inside Konan cheered. Finally they could repaint it!
"Konan", the Akatsuki leader said, "I do NOT approve of this, abomination. I demand that you abort this mission and retire for the day." His purple, lifeless eyes stared into her.
"I'm not a little girl anymore Nagato. I am a kunoichi and a student of Jiraiya-sensei; a legendary sannin. I can do it", Konan smiled warm-heartedly and reassuringly at the ginger.
He nodded and stormed out of the room, with malicious intent. It was sweet that he was concerned but they had come a long way since their run-in with Hanzo and Danzo, but there was something... off. Maybe he knew more about the mission than he was letting her know?
Okay, so that left Itachi, Sasori, and the sexy mystery man that everyone seemed to forget about. (A/N: Don't lie! I bet you did too! No sexy mystery man hugs for you!)
Konan looked to the puppeteer, "Sasori? Your thoughts?"
The puppet man looked at her with tired eyes and set his tool down for a moment to glower at her and examine her. He threaded his fingers together under his chin as he sat at the coffee table in front of the couch where Kisame and Kakuzu sat.
"Hmm, your form would be inspirational to create a new puppet for myself", he said in his plain monotone.
Konan ruffled the redhead's soft hair, "You're so sweet Sasori! You're absolutely my favorite of the Akatsuki!"
Sasori glowered at her, subtly trying to hide his smile before returning back to his puppet.
"Konan-chan", the familiar spiky-haired raven pouted. Great Madara-on-earth! Mr. Smexy-ninja was Obito using "Henge no jutsu" to fit in!
At that moment Deidara - with a slight nosebleed - jumped up and began yelling, "How come when I make art it's 'No Deidara, un! You'll break stuff and kill people, un', but when Danna does it you all, 'Aww! He's so cute!, un? I'm cute too damn it, un!"
The man now recognized as Obito snickered and input a very cruel statement, but somewhat endearing, "But senpai, you're pretty like a girl, not cute."
Deidara had murder written in his azure eyes until Itachi just simply said, "Dei-da-ra." Okay, I swear to Kami, to Amaretsu, Susano'o, Jashin, Pein, and Madara, those two are a couple, or at least banging or SOMETHING!
The blond turned and pouted, glaring at Itachi who ignored the teen entirely.
"Er, moving on", Konan said nervously, "Itachi?"
The Uchiha looked from the blond and scanned down Konan's body. "Hn."
"Hn? Is that... all you..." Hidan coughed, "can fucking.,. say?"
"Where you born an idiot or was it beat into you", Kakuzu said watching the albino drop off the wall and onto the floor.
Kisame laughed. "You guys are almost as entertaining as celebrity television", Kisame said.
"Hey fish stick! We already damn well ARE celebrities", Hidan snapped headed over to Konan and slinging his toned, muscular, sweaty arm over her shoulder.
Kisame frowned and Konan's aura turned dark as she badass-taijutsu-papercut-no-jutsu-bitch-kicked Hidan in his manly bits. He ruined the dress! It was justified! Really!
Konan smiled at Kisame, "Technically, he's right."
Kisame just grinned toothily.
Obito cleared his throat. "Are we done here, Konan-chan", the elder Uchiha asked softly while making a few brief hand signs.
Konan nodded and light flashed before her as they entered some sort of vortex. Her stomach felt queasy and the air was stale and cold until almost an eternity later she was losing her balance. What would she do? It's not like she had a jutsu prepared for a roughly thirty story drop. Was she going to die?!
"KYAAAAAAA!"