"Ketchum, shut that pathetic excuse of a mouth," Paul grumbled. Ash was scanning through his pokenav with vigor, searching for some chick that might mellow the emo boy out and make him treat his pokemon nicely. I shook my little pikachu head exasperatedly.
"No. I'm going to find someone who you'll listen to long enough to have an epiphany or something," I looked at Paul with a renewed pity, shaking my head at my idiot trainer. Paul agreed with me for once and gave me a parting gift of a pat on the head, standing up and getting ready to leave, but deciding to give Ash Ketchum a bit of information.
"Ketchum, just so you know, I don't like girls," he responded, shaking his own head like I had, his violet hair following the movement. I twitched my ear. Did I hear that right?
"Of course you do. They don't have cooties," Ash rolled his eyes. Paul resolutely kept his ground and corrected him. I did hear that right. Oh my gosh.
"Ash…listen carefully. I don't like girls," he stressed, getting a faint flush across his cheeks. "Not I'm afraid of cooties, girls aren't the way I swing, damnit. I'm gay, I like boys, Ash," Ash paused, reveling in this new tidbit. Hm. Normally gay guys aren't so… angry all the time. I was awed too. Maybe we'd found a new sector of gay guy. The sadistic, evil kind of gay. That's gonna have a weird symbol. Maybe an emo rainbow?
"Well, that makes life easier. I've got the perfect little gay boy for you," Ash grinned mischievously, making Paul stop. He knew he should leave before he got involved. But he couldn't help but be curious. Ash had dialed a number, and was waiting for said boy to pick up. Oh no. He's not calling who I think he's calling. He'd better not be.
"Ash, hang up now. I'm not going on a blind date, let alone a date at all," Paul hissed, and his reaction was plausible, if Ash is contacting the fag I think he's contacting.
"Hey, Ash," the brunette replied on the other end of the line. Oh, Arceus no. It was him he was calling-!
"Richie! Haul ass down to Veilstone city, I have a blind date for you to meet. Mellow him out for me, kay?" Ash automatically hung up, before the trainer could even protest. Paul was seething by this point with good reason. I know he likes me better than Ash, also with a good point since I am a cute, sweet, cuddly little thing and Ash is a complete moron, so I pleaded with him to not kill him.
"Did you just set me up with a boy named Richie?" ah, yes! I win that bet with Corphish! Richie is an epically gay name.
"Yup," Ash said proudly. I was ready to Iron Tail his face in. I mean, it was probably a nice gesture, but if it's unwanted, it's awful. This time, I took Paul's side, literally, jumping on the younger boy's shoulder and glaring at Ash. Paul seemed to notice that he had reinforcements and gave a threatening scowl. "Ah…Pikachu? What are you doing?" Ash's face drained white.
"Even your mouse agrees with me," Paul turned a little to look at me, with less malice than at Ash, even a little happy that I wasn't on Ash's side for once. "…you're not so bad…" he murmured, wincing a little at the weight I was placing on his shoulder. I jumped off in a friendly motion.
"Yeah, well, Richie was in Sinnoh, so he's really close. He was in Eterna by the looks of it, only because I saw the statue in the background," Ash said in triumph. Paul took one cautious step away from me and continued his angry scrutiny of my trainer. Oh, Ash, you are an idiot sometimes. I don't weigh that much…I mean, I put on a few ounces from Dawn and May's pokeblocks and poffins, but not that much, I mean I exercise…why did Paul look pained? He looked a little acceptant, even anticipating what Ash just did for a minute.
"Don't tell me Richie's a brunette with blue eyes…?" Paul rubbed his temples, as if ruing the answer Ash would give.
"Yeah. How'd you guess?" Ash said, surprised. Paul groaned.
"You'd better be glad I have a weird thing for brunettes, Ketchum," he grumbled, and I almost laughed at him, but that may have lost me points with the boy.
Later, maybe an hour, we were at the pokemon center waiting. Paul had agreed to give Richie a chance, only because he'd never met him, and that one chick named Eve or whatever had 'gotten tired of Ash's brainless presence' and left with her boyfriend, brother and three female friends and that sweet vulpix and pikachu she never forced in their balls. That left me with Ash and Paul. No Misty or Brock or Tracey or May or Max or Dawn or anyone worth saying to save me. Just Ash and Paul.
Very uncomfortable to say the least.
"Ash, you'd better have a damn good reason for pulling me out of Eterna," I heard the familiar voice of the boy Ash dragged here from the doors of the pokemon center, as well as a grumbling Sparky.
"Richie!" Ash replied cheekily. "I hope you can smooth this one out with your gay charm or whatever you called it, because this one is a doozy," Ash jabbed his thumb in the direction of Paul, who I was currently sitting on the lap of consolingly. He had first tried to get rid of me, but getting used to my company, he had at least let me sit with him. I waved my tail at Sparky, who chirped in response.
"Oh, Arceus, he's a brunette clone of you," Paul murmured in the general direction of Ash, but it was ignored. I gave the pokemon equivalent of a shrug. That's what everyone says, but I say Richie has more personality than Ash. At least he has enough to nickname his pokemon and not be ashamed.
"Just because I made that one kid less of a douche bag doesn't mean I'm made of magic, Ash. And he doesn't look so bad," he eyed Paul a little, probably going by the fact that I like him enough to stay with him and not zap him. Sparky ran along the back of the bench that we sat on and we shook tails in greeting.
(This is the major douche you were talking about last time?) Sparky asked in mock horror. I mean, I had warmed up enough to sit in his lap, so that lost Paul some evil points.
(Yeah. But he's not so bad, just like Richie said. I mean, I think he's just a little hurt on the inside. Or something that some therapist would say,) I replied, trying to make sure Ash didn't listen in on our conversation. He may be a moron, but he really understands pokemon very well.
"I'm right here," Paul inserted vaguely, not really offended in the least. Richie blushed, realizing he had said that out loud.
"Sorry," comprehending that Ash wouldn't introduce them, I preened a little, got up and smacked his hand with a gentle Iron Tail, but it would still hurt. Ash cried out in pain, and nursed the bruise.
"Hormonal rat," he grumbled. "Fine, fine. Paul, this is Richie Amber, Richie, this is Paul Grave. Happy now, you bipolar little thing?" I preened again, ignoring him, and Sparky gave a chuckle.
"I saw you in the Indigo League. Nice battle, but I guess skills don't match up to strength," Paul complimented. Appalled, Ash and I slowly turned to him in shock. Disregarding our shocked stares, Paul didn't make eye contact with Richie, but that was probably only because he just said something about Richie's battling style without hurtful criticism.
"Th…Thank you," Richie replied, also in a state of distress, but probably because someone knew about him that wasn't related to him or was…well, someone like Ash. "I mean, Sparky did his best…didn't you, you proud little prick?" Sparky turned away in mock hurt, feeling insulted, but sniggered.
Paul seemed disinterested. "Well, I'm going to leave you two. C'mon, pikapal, unless you want to play with Sparky?" Ash offered. I nodded, and tackled the other pikachu in fake play, merely wanting to see how this disaster turns out. "Alright. Well, you know where the room is," Ash stood up and went down a hall.
"What has he said about me?" Paul instantly queried once Ash left. Richie paused a little, and I recalled that Ash talked loads of shit about Paul all the time, only because his training tactics were a bit…off-kilter.
"Ah… you…" the brunette hesitated, fingering something in his pocket for reassurance, probably a pokeball. Sparky's pokeball had recently moved to a necklace.
"That much shit-talking?" Paul muttered to himself, pulling his legs into a comfortable cross-legged position. He looked a bit childish like that, and I watched intensely, relishing every more comfortable movement he made when Ash was away.
"Well, he didn't…yeah. Yeah, that much," Richie started to defend, but deflated and sat down on the bench as well, Sparky settling on his shoulder.
"Lovely. Well, how long is it going to take to make a formal impression with that much beforehand information?" Wow, Paul is talkative without Ash. Maybe Ash makes the poor kid nervous? I mean, the moron is brash and loud…
"Not very. I don't like to judge," Richie crossed his legs very femininely, and wanting warmth, I took placement in Paul's lap so that Richie wasn't overcrowded. "You really don't seem as bad as he makes it out to be. Especially if Pikachu likes you," he scratched behind my ears affectionately.
"Yeah. The rat likes me. She's not as bad as her trainer," Paul's expression softened at me, but he made no move to touch me. Sparky sniffed at him, as if trying to get thoughts just from his smell. Trust me, Sparky, I've tried. It doesn't work.
"Yeah. I liked her better too," Richie grinned. "I mean, Ash talks shit about everyone though. I've heard him talking shit about himself in third person to a wall, but he was completely drunk, so I'm not sure that counts. He just kept ragging on you for mistreating your pokemon," he hesitated, "and I know that there are ways to train your pokemon like that, so he should really find out the facts before he criticizes," Paul set a hand on my back. It felt a little rough, but it didn't hurt, and this was progress. Before he took it away, I thought I felt him shake, but it was surely my imagination.
"You're judging," Paul teased, and this made me and Sparky look up as well. Paul doesn't tease. He torments until your soul breaks into a billion pieces, never teases like a cute teen. Richie sighed.
"I know. I'm trying not to, since there must be a logical reason for it," Paul seemed to be weighing his alternatives, and slowly, deciding that Richie wasn't a threat and he was being very open-minded, he spilled a little bit of his heart out.
"Yes, there is," Richie keenly waited for the rest of the sentence. "I do it so I don't have a chance to…get afraid again," Richie was about to gently prod for an explanation, but set Sparky on his lap and rested his hand on Paul's knee. I looked at Richie concernedly.
"Afraid of… pokemon?" Richie urged softly. I was about to shut him up and let Paul close up protectively again, but Paul answered, giving me another astonishing signal.
"Yeah. I was afraid of pokemon when I was younger. I just do it so they don't have an opening to hurt me again," Paul withdrew a little, but didn't push me off or Richie. Making himself vulnerable, he pulled up his shirt a bit to unveil a thick, russet colored set of claw marks on his chest. Worriedly, a maternal instinct gripped me like with Togepi, and I tapped my nose to the old wound, as Richie scanned it.
"Why did you tell me this?" the brunette questioned, skimming the tips of his fingers over the scratches. Paul defensively dropped his hold, but pressed his hand to Richie's, and I couldn't tell if he needed the contact or if he couldn't keep up the effort to keep him away.
"I don't know," he went back to a harsher tone, but his body language said something else. "I felt like I trusted you," I chattered to myself that it was a little more than trusting him, but they didn't understand of course. It was a more primal set of pokemon language, not modernized to conform to humans.
"You can trust me," Richie breathed, and it was so deep and sexual that I thought the two would mate right then and there, but humans always do weird stuff, and Paul fought a blush. Giving a disgusted face, I remarked to Sparky in the primal set that if they're going to mate they should decide on what to name the babies first, and he gave a snorting cough, rolling onto the floor and furiously shaking his head, as if the images of his trainer mating were too much to handle.
We'll just say that I went back to Ash when they started doing that strange tongue thing that humans do, and I let Sparky come with me.