The following fic contains: Rape, Non-con Elements, Aftermath of Rape, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Psychological torture, Omegaverse- (knotting, heat cycles), Omega!Bucky, Alpha!Steve, Mpreg, Death, Violence, Brain Washing, Insanity, Angst, Suicidal attempts and thoughts, Self-Harm and assassinations.
Also, this fic is purposely written with the time frame out of order to reflect Bucky Barnes' state of mind.
Enjoy!
"You understand that he's dangerous, don't you?" The psychiatrist asked with a cold tone. Her thin eyebrows furrowed as she awaited a reply from the scrawny young man sitting across from her.
The young man's hand rose to push his dirty blond hair out of his face, his cobalt blue eyes glancing around at the near empty room. He shifted uncomfortably in the hard metal seat. He licked his lips, before hoarsely whispering. "I do."
"Then why come back for him?"
"Um-"
"Why visit him everyday?"
"I… I care for him."
She looked slightly bewildered. "He's killed nine people. And you would've been the tenth." She stated.
At this, the young man's eyes filled with tears. His hands slid up from griping the table and shifted towards the scars at his neck and chest. His fingers ran over the jagged one right over his throat and then traced the few on his chest through the fabric of his shirt lightly. They were both a grim reminder and a parting gift of sorts from his best friend.
"I-I know this, Ma'am…."
"Boy, you could've died."
"I've got the scars to prove it too. But, I don't blame him."
"Why?"
"Bucky's sick. He's just sick."
"He's a monster, Steve-"
"No, he's not." Steve interrupted, a flash of anger in his eyes. He could remember every vivid detail of him. Such as the way they used to curl up before they went to sleep, Bucky's arms wrapped around his waist with their hands clasping each other's and their fingers intertwined and Bucky's chest flush against Steve's back.
The way he always made sure that Steve was okay and well taken care of when he was sick. The man who dusted him off after he got into fights in various alleyways, before going after and beating the daylights out of those who went after Steve in the first place. He'd take Steve home and clean him up, dress any little cuts or wounds he got and soothe and reassure Steve after the kid got into his post-fight sort of depression; Bucky listening to Steve rant about how he couldn't back down, how he lamented his lack of strength before Bucky would scold him slightly for the fight and put his insecurities at ease.
He'd never forgot the way Bucky smiled and laughed. His kind blue eyes and the way the corner of his eyes crinkled with his smiles. And his eyes sometimes changed from it's normal blue to various shades of light and dark blues. Bucky had been the sort of man who'd walk dames home to make sure nothing bad happened to them and was polite to his elders and sweet to little children in spite of his quick and snarky mouth.
How could that man be a ruthless killer?
"So- do tell me, Steve… When is a monster not a monster?" She asked and tears slipped down Steve's cheeks- because God, it wasn't fair. He paused for a moment before he bit his lip, shaking his head.
"When you love it." He managed to choke out; fingers pressed on his the scars that were etched right on the portion of his chest that his heart lay beneath.
Author's note: so, here's my first Stucky fic. Please review and all that. No flames, I will not dignify them with a response. Most of this fic is AO3, so I plan to upload all the chapters. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!