Bright blue orbs stared up into Eli's green as he rolled over onto his side one Saturday morning.
"Why are you up so early?" he whispered to the seven year old, quickly glancing to his sleeping wife making sure not to wake her.
"I couldn't sleep," a yawn escaped through her lips as she reached up to toy with the ring around her father's neck.
"Shhh… I don't want to wake your mom she had a rough night," he paused, "I don't remember you coming in here last night…" he commented on his daughter's obscure presence. She hadn't slept in their bed in over a year and on the rare occasion of a common illness.
"I had a bad dream," her fingers smoothed over the edges of the ring, "Dad? Why do you wear a ring around your neck? It's a little odd."
Such a simple question from his daughter sidetracked Eli's mind and sent it into memory overdrive. He hadn't ever thought about how strange some things so simple to him may seem so complex to someone as young as Delilah. Eli stared into his daughter's questioning eyes as he tried to search for the perfect words to describe one of the happiest moments of his life to her.
"Lilah, it's a long story…" he began but was soon caught off by his daughter over eagerness.
"Daddy! I want to know!"
"Shhh! Okay. I'll tell you the story but you have to be quiet," he pointed towards a sleeping Clare and continued on, "We can't wake your mother… she'll kill me if she finds out I told you this, okay? So we have to be quiet."
"I can be quiet, I promise, "Lilah giggled as she stuck out her pinky finger towards her father's to partake in their little ritual.
"Thank you," he interlocked their pinkies and took a deep breath. He propped himself up on his elbow and smoothed out Lilah's bouncy curls. His fingers then slowly undid the clasp around his neck and he placed the gold ring in his daughter's palm.
"Here, take a look," Eli watched his daughter as she read the words engraved in the tiny band.
"Now and forever," she read aloud.
"That's right, now and forever…" and he began to tell his story.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
A quick trip to the movies had landed Eli and Clare back at their safe haven, at the abandoned church. Eli had his notebook propped up on one knee and Clare's head gently lay on the other as she stared up into the night sky.
"The stars are out tonight," she sighed.
"I'd tell you to make a wish but I have a feeling yours has already come true," Eli laughed, a smug look appearing on his face.
"Don't be so quick to comment Goldsworthy; you're not the only wish I have you know!" Clare giggled as a warm sensation filled throughout her body.
"I know, Edwards. I'm only kidding," he softly pecked the top of her head and continued to jot down some more ideas for his summer writing class. Soon to be a freshman in college, Eli had decided to take a course during the summer just to get a head start.
"I can't believe you graduated already. It went by so fast… What am I going to do without you next year?" she questioned, vulnerability slowly creeping into her voice.
"We have the whole summer to figure things out Clare. Don't worry about the future just yet. Just enjoy what's happening now."
"But the future is all I can think about lately. I can't help myself… it's all I ever worry about…" Clare's sentence faltered as she listened to the frantic writing from her boyfriend. She decided to sit up across from him and note the way his hand glided across the pages of his journal. Eli's creativity never ceased to amaze her.
Still with no response though, Clare eyes wavered downward to her left hand. She sat silently and observed the ring on her hand that had been there indefinitely until she had decided otherwise. She twisted it and ran the tip of her finger over it gently as a now intrigued Eli watched her curiously.
"What are you thinking about?" he breathed.
"I just… this ring. I'm not sure what it symbolizes to me anymore. I'm not who I used to be and I'm outgrowing what I believed in…" she shook her head, not fully understanding what she was trying to get across.
"What are you saying exactly?" Eli asked, puzzled by his girlfriend's sudden outburst.
"I guess…I just want a new start. Fresh beliefs, new beginnings. I don't want something I don't fully believe in anymore holding me back from loving someone…loving you with everything I have…" Clare hesitated as a warm blush crept upon her cheeks.
"Clare, I know you're unsure on what you believe in right now and I'm here to help you get through that. But you're not ready for that step and honestly neither am I as of right now. When we get there…we'll get there," he took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm honestly in no rush to take that step with you because I want to cherish all the baby steps on the way… I love you and I love your vow and whatever decisions you make regarding it. And I just want you to know that."
Clare took a moment to analyze Eli's words and a smile slowly crept up onto her face.
"Eli," she took his hand in her own, "I'm not saying that I want to have sex with you. Not right now at least. I'm just saying that I understand now what I want… and who I want it to be with. And I want my first time to be with someone I love. And I love you. So much Eli. And I was just thinking…" Clare paused to slip her promise ring off her finger and place it in Eli's palm, "That I could make this promise with you. Make this promise something I'm looking forward to breaking in the future but continuing on by loving you after it is broken."