The Stupid Inuyasha Get Together!

By Cassie

Note-everyone is so totally out of character that it's really stupid.

Scroll One

Inuyasha, Kikyo, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kouga, Kagura, Naraku, Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken were all seated in Kagome's room all in a circle. The tension was high as Inuyasha eyed Sesshomaru angrily, "Do you have." He began menacingly.

" Any kings? And don't tell me no because I know damn well that you have them!"

"Go fish."

Inuyasha glared at his brother before none to neatly snatching the card from the top of the deck. Sesshomaru grinned evilly and set a pair of kings at his side and stuck his tongue out at Inuyasha.

"What the hell? I thought you had no kings you freakin' liar!" Inuyasha lunged across the circle, messing up the deck of cards and knocking down everyone's drinks and tackled Sesshomaru. "This is why-" Inuyasha bashed Sesshomaru's head into the carpet "-I freakin' hate playing-" he slammed his knee in his brother's back "Stupid cards with you!"

Kagome sighed and set her cards down, Maybe a Friday night get together was a bad idea.

The rest of Kagome's company watched Sesshomaru and Inuyasha beat the crap out of each other until Sesshomaru's poison talons melted Sango's coke bottle, "Stop or I'll cry!" she threatened.

Everyone stared at her for a second until Inuyasha broke the silence, "What good will that do?"

A small tear dripped done Sango's cheek "Miroku is less sugar high than all of you-so he has a better chance of sucking you up his hell hole than you do of knocking over anymore of my drinks."

Miroku rolled his eyes but never the less nodded, readying to undo the pearly thing on his arm.

The two brothers let go of each other and sat down.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Naraku asked, "The entertainment was rudely cut short by a snotty teen having a hissy fit."

"I was not having a hissy fit!" Sango exclaimed.

"Whatever."

"I know! Let's tell stories!" Rin exclaimed. Shippo jumped up, "Yeah! That'll be fun! Let's do the one where I beat Inuyasha at an armwrestle!"

"I have a better idea," Kouga said.

Two minutes later…

"You can't do this!" Shippo, Jaken, and Rin exclaimed.

"Lord Sesshomaru, help me!" Jaken wailed.

Kouga smirked and held the three over the well, "Later."

He let go of them and they fell into the past (oh! That'll be a really cool title for a story!).

"Now that that's over, who wants to play 'Spin the Bottle'!" Kouga shouted holding up his coke bottle.

The whole group anime falls

"How 'bout no." Kikyo said, ready to stab Kouga with one of her arrows.

"Strip poker?" Kagura offered eyeing Naraku wickedly.

"No, that's just wrong."

"Crazy eights?" Kagome asked, holding up another new pack of cards, "It was my idea to get together anyways."

"Yeah?" Kikyo challenged.

Poopy "Yeah!" Kagome exclaimed.

"To bad! I'm taking over and you're going to give me all the Shikon jewel shards!"

"You idiot! I'm not going down that easily!" the teen shrieked and started chasing Kikyo around until Kikyo tripped and fell in a mud puddle. Kagome was about to kick her when Kikyo grabbed her legs and tripped her.

"This is even better!" Naraku exclaimed, "Mud wrestling!"

"You sicko pervert!" Inuyasha yelled punching Naraku. One thing led to another, and before you know it everyone's fighting and trying to kill each other until eventually everyone's tired and bored again.

"You know," Kagura said, wiping mud off of her fan, "That story idea wasn't so bad. We could tell stories until we fall asleep."

"Yeah, and then after that I'm going to make chocolate muffins for everyone," Sesshomaru said, "Not gonna happen, and do you know why?"

"Um, because you're allergic to chocolate?" Miroku asked. Anime fall for everyone else

The demon slapped his forehead, "Oh gawd, why did I even go to this stupid thing! No one here actually has a brain."

"We really could bake chocolate muffins!" Naraku exclaimed. Inuyasha's jaw unhinged and hit the ground, " I have this great recipe where you have to add-"

Inuyasha punched Naraku in the eye. "I didn't not just bust my butt trying to make myself gather the Shikon shards just to find out the evil guy who has most of them spends his spare time making freakin' muffins!"

"Let's play truth or dare!" Kagome said, pointing her finger at Inuyasha, "I dare you to sit, boy!"

Inuyasha fell facedown into some randomly placed potato salad (curtsey animeanimal8 aka me) "&! What is wrong with you? You just did that for the sheer fun of it, didn't you?"

Kagome smiled, "Maybe."

"I got one! I got one!" Sango exclaimed, "We could tell stories of out first kiss!"

"She's not serious, is she?" Kagura asked Naraku.

Naraku shrugged, "Sugar high people do stupid things…but since I'm sugar high, I'm all for it!"

Kagura slapped her forehead, "What is this world coming to!"

"What about spin the bottle?"

"Shut up, Kouga" the whole group replied.

"Okay! I'll go first!" Kagome said, "My first kiss was when…she droops her head I forgot...I haven't had one."

"That's great, Kagome, next per-wait, what! What about Hojo?" Sango asked, gathering everyone's coke bottles.

"I don't like Hojo, remember? Notice how he's not here with us."

"Oh, yeah. I gotta game! Let's play a game and whoever wins spend five minutes in a closet with Kagome and gets to give her a kiss!"

"SANGO ARE YOU MAD?"

Sango smirked, "Only when I have to be."

"I accept your challenge!" Kouga yelled, "Whoever dares to defy me step up now!"

"How 'bout we just get all the guys to play?" Sango asked, "It's easier. Now what game should the guys play…"

"I DON'T WANNA DO THIS, SANGO! I WON'T PLAY!"

"Twister…nah. Oh! Simon says…no-to good at reflexes…they could play…"

"AHA! Kagome has forfeited because if Dog Boy wins, She won't want to kiss him!" Kouga said and was by Kagome's side, "Are you my woman, now?"

"How 'bout pin the tail on the donkey…no, too easy. Basketball…someone will pop the ball with their claws. I got it!"

"Sit, boy!"

Inuyasha fell, "What the heck was that for! Do I look like I'm going to steal the jewel! No! Did I insult your cooking? No! I'm eating bag a shrimp chips that I just crushed because I fell on them!"

"No…no one knows how to play that. Monopoly…too long. This time I really got it!"

"Oops, sorry, Inuyasha." Kagome gave him a weak smile, "I got you mixed up with Mr. Over-excited, here."

"How could you mistake me for…oh forget it. But now you owe my shrimp chips! Hey! They disappeared!"

"But you're my woman, right?" Kouga asked hopefully, offering Kagome the shrimp chip bag he stole from Inuyasha.

"Go away before spray you with my perfume."

"A little feisty, are we?"

"ALRIGHT, GUYS!" Sango screeched, "THE FIRST ONE TO MAKE MIROKU'S NOSE BLEED OR MAKE HIM FAINT GET'S TO KISS KAGOME! Unless you're a girl or Miroku, you have to play!"

Inuyasha, Miroku and Kouga dropped their sodas and stopped fighting over the shrimp chips, but Naraku and Sesshomaru continued their talk on what method they'd use to kill Inuyasha.

"I will kill him, in my castle, with a lead pipe!" Naraku said, Kagura nodded, "I'll see to it that he doesn't fail."

"He will if I kill him in the woods with the candle stick first!" Sesshomaru argued.

"Sango, what the heck is wrong with you?" Kagome accused, shaking up a coke can. Ready to spray it at her friend.

"Oh, well Miroku is my boyfriend-"

"I'm your boyfriend?" Miroku asked, a look of shock forming on his face, "Is this a joke or for real?"

"Honey, you're my boyfriend, now as I was saying. No offense or anything, but I don't want him to kiss you, I want him to kiss me."

Miroku started crying, "This is the happiest day of my life. I shall always remember it…"

"That's great, Miroku." Kagome commented, handing the lecher monk a tissue, "Now be a good boyfriend and stop your psycho lover from getting some random guy from kissing me. I really don't want to do this unless it's-"

"Me, right!" Kouga asked, randomly presenting a bouquet of roses, "I'll even run around Tokyo twice, for you, my love."

Inuyasha, who had no say in this whatsoever was starting to get very annoyed at the arrogant wolf demon. He was about to tell Kouga to stick the bouquet up his-

"You're not playing, right? I'm your one and only love, right, Inuyasha. Remember, we shared and enjoyed our first kiss when Kagome was tied to a tree and I was trying to drag you to hell with me?" Kikyo asked, making her eyes really big and sticking out her lip a little bit, "It was so magical, so beautiful, so-"

"What in the seven hells are you talking about?" the hanyou interrupted, "How did we share a kiss and actually enjoy it, if I had no say in it? Nothing is beautiful about that!"

"Why you arrogant son of a-

"I REFUSE TO DO THIS! CAN ANYONE HERE ME!" Kagome screamed, holding the coke can in front of Sango, "Why do I have to? Can't I just a normal first kiss when I actually have a boyfriend? IF YOU GO THROUGH THIS I'LL SPRAY YOU WITH MY COKE!"

Sango thought for a moment, "GAME START!" she yelled as Coke sprayed all over her.

Inuyasha and Kouga dashed after Miroku who was trying to escape out of the room. Sesshomaru and Naraku walked slowly towards the trembling monk.

"Bleed already!" Kouga yelled at Miroku's nose, "Bleed or Sango will be my woman!"

"Hell no!" Sango screeched, "I'll die before that happens!"

"Fine! Then Sango is bearing my child! Make that twins!"

Miroku looked about to faint when Kagome threw water on him, "Faint and I'll make sure you never get with Sango!"

Sango started swinging Kouga around by his tail, "You. Stupid. Idiotic. Wolf. Butt. Head!"

Meanwhile…

Shippo looked up from the inside of the well the three were stuck in. "Hm?"

Rin stopped poking Jaken's eye long enough to ask, "What, Shippo?"

"I thought I heard Kouga screaming…but he's at Kagome's house, right?"

Back in the present…

Sesshomaru glanced at Kagome and back at the trembling Miroku, "Boo."

Miroku screamed like a woman and on impulse kicked Sesshomaru where it hurts. The supposedly 'strong' demon crumpled to the ground like a piece of paper and he sucked his thumb.

Naraku saw Sesshomaru and started laughing hysterically, completely ignoring Miroku, who was ready with his wind tunnel.

So as complete chaos was going on, Inuyasha walked up to Miroku and…

Punched him in the nose.

Blood spurted from Miroku's nose as the monk fell backwards, Sango caught him and downed a coke before offering Miroku a tissue.

"He cheated!" Kouga yelled, rubbing his behind, "He cheated! I demand a rematch!"

"Too bad! 'Cause you ain't getting one!" Sango sprang up to her feet and raised the blushing hanyou's hand in the air, "The winner! Give her a frenchie!"

Kagura wrestled Kagome into the closet and locked the door.

"Um…didn't you forget someone?" Kagome heard from inside the closet. Two seconds later Inuyasha was tossed into the closet and landed on top of Kagome.

"Go get her!" Sango cheered madly before Sesshomaru forced her to close the door.

The two stared at each other for a second before, "Inuyasha, there's something I've been wanting to tell you…"

"Hmmm?" Inuyasha was busy trying to summon the courage to tell Kagome a little something, too. He was all too eager for Kagome say what she was going to say that way he could stall.

"I just wanted to ask…"

"Y-yeah?"

"Could you get off my leg? It's going numb."

On the other side of the door Sango whacked her head against the wall. "You think they'd just tell each other they loved each other. But no, it's 'get off my leg'."

Inuyasha and Kagome stared at each other in the dark before Kagome realized she was never going to hear the words she wanted her crush to say and began to sob. Inuyasha was a little surprised at first and grabbed Kagome's shoulders, "Why are you crying?"

"N-n-n-no reason. I-I-I just thought you were…" Kagome bit her lip.

"I was what? What did I do?" Inuyasha was a little puzzled, "Was it the leg thing? I got off; did I break your leg? I didn't hear a-"

"I just thought that you…because I…and, but you don't…"

"I what?"

On the other side, Miroku was trying to stop Sango from ripping the door open as she screamed, "HOW SLOW IS THIS GUY! I HAVE TO TELL HIM!"

"Sango, just let nature set is course!" Miroku struggled to hold Sango's ankle in his grip as she clawed her way to the door.

"What nature! What course! They're locked in a closet, for crying out loud!"

Kagome's faced crumpled as tears dripped down her cheeks, "I thought you liked me…b-but you really don't, do you? You d-d-d-don't!"

"But I do love you, Kagome!"

Scroll Three

Inuyasha slapped his hand over his mouth…well, that came unexpectedly. Very unexpectedly, so unpredictable, that Sango, who finally stopped fighting Miroku and just sat next to the door with snacks, choked on her soda and sprayed it all over Kouga, who-also listening-dropped the bowl of potato salad (I told you-randomness!).

"Do you really love me?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha wanted to reply and say yes…but his mouth apparently had gotten a different message and all that came out was, "No, you stupid wrench."

Kagome stared at the dark in front of her in shock and burst into tears again.

"What the heck is going on in there?" Kouga slammed his fist into the ground, "First he loves her, then he doesn't, then my precious Kagome starts bawling like the world's gonna end! I'm so going to kill Inuyasha!"

Sango pulled his Kouga's tail, "Stay where you are and let the soap opera play out."

Back inside, Inuyasha was hyperventilating from what he just did and Kagome was still crying because she didn't believe him, "SIT! I HATE YOU, INUYASHA!"

So for the remaining three and a half minutes, Kagome sobbed and Inuyasha choked and then he died. The end…do you really think I'd end it there! What a crappy ending.

Lets start over. Inuyasha stopped hyperventilating half a minute later, but his supposed girlfriend didn't even think to sop crying. Kagome just sobbed louder, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! How could you!"

"I didn't mean to, Kagome, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to say it!" Inuyasha was going to pop a vein. Men don't plead with girls that hate them-it's the law of life…yet he seemed to be begging., "Please stop crying…I really do-"

"Shut up, you stupid mutt!"

Inuyasha snapped. He couldn't take it-he'd get Kagome to listen if it killed him. The hanyou grabbed Kagome's shoulders and started shaking her, "Listen, woman! I LOVE YOU! Do I have to spell it out! Just listen for a second, okay? I really, really love you…more than I love ramen, more than the fact that one day you might take this necklace off me, more than I like kicking my brother ass…do you understand?"

There was a bang on the other side of the door as Sesshomaru attempted to break it down with a book he was looking at, "I HEARD THAT! AND JUST FOR THE RECORD YOU ONLY BEAT ME ONCE!"

Inuyasha let go of Kagome's shoulder for a second to open the door, "DO YOU MIND! I'M TRYING TO DO SOMETHING HERE! " the hanyou gave his brother 'the finger' before slamming the door shut. "Sorry 'bout that."

"…"

"Kagome?"

"…"

"Holy shit! Kagome, are you okay!"

Inuyasha really only meant to pull Kagome's face close to his to make sure she wasn't in a trance, but she was close enough. Lips meet lips and then you have that wonderful moment when two people that have a hate-love relationship kiss each other for the first time and know what it means to really love the other person. That moment is then screwed up by someone opening the door.

Kouga stared in disbelief at the kissing couple in the closet (Say that five times fast! Kissing couple in the closet! Kissing clouple in the cloket! Kicking couple in the closet! Clicking coukle in the klochet! Kicking cluckle in the closet!). The kissing couple who just happened to not notice the light, the open door, or the tall shadowing figure in front of them. He was tearing up inside and at the same time filling with rage but the only thing his body actually showed was apparent shock and the fact that an unhinged jaw can touch the ground even if you're standing up. Sango glanced over at Kouga, and returned to staring at the clock to see when five minutes were up before whipping her head back at the wolf demon. She got up, ran towards Kouga, and in the process knocked coke on Naraku's muffin recipe he was writing down for Kagura, killing Sesshomaru's card tower, and accidentally-on-purpose shoved Kikyo out of the way. She was about to push Kouga aside when he slammed the door shut and stomped to a corner of the room; he sulked for the rest of the night.

Sango, on the other hand reopened the door to see Inuyasha furiously wiping his mouth but at the same time looking a little pleased, and Kagome messing with her sock. Both were blushing furiously and refusing to look at each other. Sango sighed and decided that Kouga was moping just because he wanted to and the two got no where near kissing "Time's up."

Inuyasha glanced at Kagome who smiled and got up, but instead of getting out of the closet, he gabbed the door handle and slowly closed the door. Sango stared at the door for a second, bewildered, and then something clicked. She cheered and happily sat down in front of the group. " Let's play cards!"

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