"Have you met Barney?"

"Thankfully, no I haven't."

That bit of snark coming from me wasn't the last that night (and for the rest of my life, which at moment is going downhill at a remarkable speed) from the either of us, us being Barney Stinson and Chloe (that's me, plain old me, with Brainiac in the side of my head) the polar opposites of each other.

But sadly Barney, who I had heard the tales of from one Robin Scherbatsky (of which I overlooked the her being jealous vibe I was picking up, because in her words 'oh god no!'), like the rest of the male population loved a chase, only this chase might lead him off a cliff or into the arms of one pissed off Doomsday.

(who has been stalking me but not as much as Jimmy, which I can hear when ever he comes near because of the bottle of pills that jingle in his pockets)

So instead of going our separate ways (or like some men, son of a bitch husbands, running like hell to just get away from me) and finding our true soul mates, which at the moment were both named Davis and Robin, we started the thing that would be known as us or more the couple that should have never been together in the first place.

Don't look at me like that! I love Davis (and maybe the other side of him too, only a small bit) but this one isn't meant to kill my best friend and destroy the world, plus he was wearing a suit.

(suits and reporters our my weak spots, that's why I don't like visiting Clark at work it might get out of hand, meaning – I would rip all his clothes off)

"Our love will be LEGENDARY!"

-

One Week Later

Our 'LEGENDARY' love ended (this time not in flames and bloodshed, a first for me) just as fast as it started.

Both he and I (and all of our many friends, if you can call them that) were even surprised it even got a chance to start and it just ended like a B movie (not like a crappy horror movie which was my last relationship) instead of a whole thing with tears and jealous lovers it was just two people cutting their ties.

(oh and he might have cried a little bit but not because we broke up but because I was the one that broke up with him and not the other way around. After the whole husband from hell thing I needed to do it, at least it didn't happen to someone who would really be hurt, like say Davis)

"Sadly this was anything but legendary, Sullivan. Now I'm off to get her, Robin, it's about time, the only one that truly matters to me. Well, besides Ted."

(it was clear that she was the one that he thought of day and night, his soul mate, and she felt the same. But lucky me I have just the same waiting for me to wonder on back to him)

"I have my own one and only waiting on me (in the basement of the talon, most likely red eyes and all) and he's not someone you should keep waiting, goodbye rebound guy nice knowing you."

(with the rebound I was both hurting his ego, which was a massive thing something you hear tall tales about, and saying thank you for him being there so my rebound didn't end being Clark Kent. As if)

And just like that we went off to live our legendary lives with the ones we loved (even if it wasn't ever going to be a happily ever after, which is just not in the books for me), mine who was living in my basement and loving me more then all the rest of them.

Lucky me (that's until he finally fulfills his destiny and brings us all down in flames and ruin with his red eyes along).