The Unforgiven
Another day at school was over as Jade was getting her things and walked towards her with scissors decorated looker. She looked around the hallway and observed what was going on. It seemed like any other day at Hollywood arts. People were singing and dancing in the hallways, wearing different colors and enjoying life as much as they could. She always envied them for the last one.
Being respected and being feared was something she always had seen as the same. In both cases, people minded what they were doing and saying while you are around. But she learned the difference months ago. She was feared. People would avoid her and back of the moment she gave them a mean look. It didn't take much more. One glare from her and the biggest guy in school would back off immediately. She had enjoyed it. She had thought that they all did it out of respect for her. But once a certain brunette came to Hollywood Arts, she saw what respect meant.
Tori was respected by everyone. Nobody feared her. They had no reason to. Her trademark, next to her cheekbones, was her wide, beautiful smile she always carried. She always had time for everyone: time to listen to their problems, time to think about them, time to help them. She was as talented as anyone else and easily won the hearts of both colleagues and teachers. And how couldn't she?
Jade had watched how everything she had earned herself went to Tori. The lead roles in plays would always go to Tori instead of her now. The best grades were not Jade's anymore, but Tori's. She watched as Tori entered into her group of friends and slowly won everyone over. Jade fought it with everything she had. She tried to bully her out the first day, but failed. She tried to get her expelled, but failed. She tried everything she thought would work, but it all had the same result: Tori stood tall in the end of them all. She always won, and after she won, she didn't even rub it in Jade's face. The opposite was the truth. She always tried to win Jade over as a friend.
Jade watched how her best friend Cat slowly became Tori's best friend. She noticed the lesser amount of calls and messages Cat sent her. She noticed how Cat would now always go to Tori if she needed advice or help. It hurt her. It hurt to know that her childhood friend found someone better. And Jade had nobody to blame but herself. It was her who drove Cat away. Since she had been with Beck she pushed Cat away. Jade justified her actions by telling herself that it was okay. She wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend. Cat was selfish if she thought else. Now, she realized who the selfish one was. She would always go to Cat when Beck and she had a fight, and that wasn't a rare thing. Every time Cat would let her in, talk to her, calm her down and then Jade would leave again. She never said thank you. She never felt it necessary. Now, she watched Cat be happier than ever. She knew that Tori would always be there for the redhead. She knew that Tori would listen to her. She knew that Tori would never push Cat away for someone else. She knew that Tori would be grateful for everything Cat does for her, and that she would show it. She would do everything right Jade had done wrong.
Jade watched the love of her life slowly drift away. She saw it the moment she saw how he looked at Tori. The first time they met, when Tori accidentally spilled coffee on him and tried to rub it away. Since then she clawed and fought for him. But again, she did it the wrong way. Her jealousy led to constant fighting. Their fighting finally led to their final breakup. It wasn't like the first time. The first time it was her who did it because of nothing. She found herself asking the one person for help who she tried to hate for so long. And Tori did help her. Without her, they wouldn't have gotten together in the first place. And even after that, Jade still managed to screw up again. When he didn't come after her that day… when he didn't open the door, Jade realized that she had done it. She had screwed up everything. She never wanted it to end that way. The arguments were something she only did because they would always reconcile immediately. She felt the most secure during those. Only then, in these short moments, did she feel that he was truly hers. When he would hold her in his arms and tell her that he loved her. But she never truly managed to appreciate the moments. She always wanted more. More of those same moments. But now, that would never happen again. Now, his heart was Tori's. He was now in love with a girl who would never argue with him about nothing. She wouldn't be jealous. She would trust him and enjoy every moment they spent together. She would do everything Jade couldn't.
After the breakup, Jade tried to fix things. She tried hanging out with Cat, but that only caused Cat more trouble than she bargained for. It was only through sheer luck that Mr. Gibbons didn't fire Cat's mom for the things Cat hadn't even done. Had Jade not forced herself into that situation, Cat wouldn't have had to be afraid of any of those things. It led to realization. Jade and Cat could never be what it used to. Jade was too much trouble for that, and if hanging out with Cat would only lead to Cat getting hurt and sad, Jade wouldn't do it.
The straw that broke the camels back was before the Platinum Music Awards. It was supposed to be her moment. It was supposed to be her victory again, after so long. It was supposed to be the night she beat Tori. At the rehearsal, Cat left her video chat on and Jade watched as Beck leaned it in an attempt to kiss the one girl that had taken everything away from her. The moment Tori pushed him away was the moment Jade realized she lost. It was the moment when she admitted defeat. When Tori didn't want Beck only because of her, Jade realized that she would never be better than Tori. It was when she understood why everyone respected her. Tori was simply better than her, because she honored her friendship to a person who never did a nice thing for her more than a relationship with the number one bachelor of Hollywood Arts.
That day, Jade decided she would do the one right thing. She gave Tori her spot back and watched Tori steal the show. Tori didn't fail. She never did.
Since then Jade had become more silent. Her fierce nature seemed gone. She didn't glare at people anymore. She didn't deadpan them. Her sarcasm seemed gone. She noticed how people were looking at her differently. She noticed that they were less and less afraid of her.
She came home into an empty house. Her friends and teachers were not the only ones that replaced her. Mr. West's new girlfriend brought along her eleven year old daughter who took away the last, small amount of attention her father had given her. He never had much of it, but the small amounts left meant so much to Jade. The fact that he would come to one of her plays meant the world to her, and now even that small, almost non existent possibility is gone. Her mother had replaced her years ago with alcohol, which only made her dad's attention mean so much more.
She had truly lost everything now. Her father to a better daughter. Her roles to a better actor and her friends to a much better friend. Jade walked to her room with that knowledge and dropped her things to the ground. She turned of her phone and took of her jacket. She walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. She stared at her image for a long time, thinking about everything one last time. But the decision was final. It was for a long time now. There was no turning back. There was no more denial. No more chances. She opened the mirror and looked into the cabinet. She took out the pill bottles and walked downstairs with them, placing them on the kitchen table.
In the cabinet she found everything she needed. Her mother hadn't even noticed that a bottle of whiskey was gone. Miss West lost track of everything the moment in the day liquor touched her lips, and that was usually immediately.
She carried everything to the living room and sat down on the couch. She dropped all the pills in her hand and after a long breath put them all in her mouth, drowning them down with a few gulps from the bottle. Now, she only had to wait. It wouldn't take long before her heart would be overwhelmed with the chemicals she just had taken. It would stop beating and she would be relieved of her misery. Her father won't care. Beck stopped caring a long time ago. Robbie might be relieved that one of his biggest bullies was gone. Cat had Tori to take care of her and would be over Jade soon.
"You better take care of them." Jade uttered, thinking about the half Latina. She slowly faded away, noticing her heartbeat getting slower and slower. It didn't hurt; not nearly as much as life had. The last thing she heard was the door opening and someone rushing towards her a few seconds later, yelling her name.