Smashing Blue
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Greed X Zolf J. Kimblee
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Hiromu Arakawa and Funimation =D
A/N: Heyyy! Thanks for reading this. I know this is big AU. I just love Greed and Kimblee together. I think this is pretty alright for a Kimblee impression; or it's the best I've got xD I know Archer is a moronic ass in this, but he doesn't last long.
This is simply a 2 shot. One chapter actual plotishness, then just smut!
Thanks!
xoxo
I moved through Southern headquarters. I felt a tug on my shoulder, and I turned, to see the panicking Lizard thing running like an animal missing its head. I rolled my golden eyes, and I glanced around. This place reeked of Justice, but only falsified justice. There was nothing just in this country, least of all in the State. The lizard Man spoke to me,
"We have to get out of here, Kimblee!" He cried up at me, his little voice making me want to kick a small child then make them watch as their mother exploded. I glanced down, rolled my eyes, and blew a hole in the wall.
"Lets go then." I said simply. The little man skidded out before me, when a voice behind me spoke, commanding like.
"Zolf J. Kimblee! The Crimson Alchemist, yes?" I turned to see a little man in blue with a gun. He didn't even have a watch. Psh, weakling.
"Who's asking?" I cooed, my singsong vocals escaping, as I waited to see whom this little prick seemed to think he was.
"My name is Frank Archer. I have a proposition for you." He said gently, nervously. I grinned. Who did this kid think he was dealing with? The Lizard man didn't like the way this was going, I could tell.
"Greed! We must get back to Greed!" He cried, over and over. I looked back up at the man, and I grabbed the Lizard man by the back of his jacket. I pulled him with me as I got closer to the pale bastard with the gun.
"Let's hear it then Boss, I don't have all day. Places to be, people to explode. You know the drill." I said coolly. I had no intentions to betray the Homunculus who had freed me, in fact this was all for him, but I couldn't let this Stately Buffoon think that way.
"Right!" He said, as he descended stairs somewhere in the ruble and then came to the hole I made in the wall. He escorted us through it, and the Lizard man thrashed wildly under my grip. I pulled him to me, wrapping my arm around his snakelike shoulders.
"Move again, and I'll use your innards as garters." I said lowly, gripping his bony shoulder in a vice grip. He stopped moving, and looked at the floor. As we were lead into a small room, Archer pulled out a chair, and sat.
"I can get you reinstated if you simply help me." His grin was really starting to piss me off. I didn't like being pissed. I cracked my neck, and looked at him with a side ways glance. I grinned, and I cocked my hips to the side.
"Help you?" I asked nonchalantly.
"Yes. I need to track down that being that let you out…" That thing? I can only assume he meant Greed. Greed was not a thing, and that made my mind up.
"Alright. But, being a God faring man, I feel it necessary to let a former employer know I won't be returning." I said with false conviction. He nodded, understandingly. Was this fucker for real? You shouldn't trust anyone in the Military! Least of all, an ex con. I grinned inwardly, and I snagged paper that had been sitting on the desk. I then scribbled down some words on the paper. I had forgotten how nasty and illegible my chicken scratch was.
Greed.
Some shit in blue has employed my services. Get out now. I'll take care of him, and return to you by dark.
Kimblee.
I handed the paper to the little Lizard man, tucking it gently into his hand. I then turned and kicked him in the tail. He squealed and he bolted off. The Military man before me then spoke,
"I suppose we should get you a uniform.." He mused to himself, as I watched him. A uniform? Again. Damn. I smiled politely and nodded. He got me something that looked like a uniform of a fat ass. I didn't complain though, it didn't matter. I wouldn't be wearing it long. I figured by now the little Lizard man had gotten my letter for Greed, and I could only hope that he did as asked, and left. Archer wasn't a complete moron, because he could sense something was wrong with me. But, he was too stupid to figure out what, but I can't say that that bothered me.
"It's okay to be nervous. Killings never easy." He said what now? Killing wasn't my problem, but he didn't need to know that. I smiled simply, and I glanced around the window. He retired to another room briefly, I could hear talking. He then reentered carrying a light bag. I glanced at it, and he handed it to me. I opened it and I raised an eyebrow.
"Skull?" I asked.
"The way to destroy our enemy." He said simply. I understood now. He truly meant to go after Greed. I closed the bag, and held onto it. He grinned, and told me the enemy had been spotted near by. I bit my tongue and nodded. We headed for the cars, and we rumbled off in the direction of the report. We climbed out at the Devil's Nest, and I led a group away from the door. I caught sight of Martel, running with a group over a building top, and one of the Soldiers did too. They raised their gun at her, and I pressed my hands to his stomach, and he screamed in agony. I tossed my head in her direction, for her to run, and she nodded. If she was near, I knew Greed must be too. I then looked at another soldier ran nearer, as the sound of trouble. I killed him as well. I then made my way inside. There was nothing left of the group inside, and Archer said he'd gotten a report of people on the move near here. God, this dude wouldn't quit. I sighed, and I climbed back into the truck.
"Where did you run off to?" He asked me. I glanced up, and I shrugged.
"I looked around the parameter." He nodded, and let it go. Was this dude for real? I mean, really. I wouldn't even believe me, but then again, I know what my motives are, and I know what I'm callable of. I gritted my teeth, and I pressed my forehead to the cool glass. I closed my eyes. I must have dozed off, because when I came to, I felt no presence in the car. I looked around, and a I stumbled out of the car, and tripped on a stick as I heard shouts coming from a ways off. I grabbed the skull, and I tumbled off into the woods. I couldn't tell exactly what direction the shouts were coming from, but I hit a clearing soon enough. I tripped again as I stumbled out into the open. I saw Greed, being cornered by some recruits, but not looking too worried. I cleared my throat as I stood up, and brushed off my uniform. Greed smiled a wicked grin at me and the soldiers addressed me.
"Sir! We found the security breech! What should be done with him?" They asked, keeping their guns on Greed, but their eyes on me. I grinned, and shrugged.
"Secrity breech, mmm? Well I'll take care of it." I said, approaching slowly. He felt the presence of what was in the bag, I could tell.
"Why would you have that?!" He cried at me. His voice made my heart (Yes, I have one of those) wrench. I looked at the bag, and then back at the soldiers.
"Lower your weapons!" I screamed at them. They looked at me.
"What?!" They cried in unison. I then looked at them again.
"Lower your Goddamn weapons!" I said again. I then turned and dropped the skull into the air, and punted it as if it were a child's toy. It flew past us, and landed in the water. Greed breathed a sigh of relief, and he looked at me with a grin. One of the soldiers rushed at me, and I started to grab at him, when Greed snatched him before he could get to me. He pulled his arm into an awkward angle, and he wrestled him to the ground. He stepped on his back, and he twisted his arm until a nauseating crack resounded before us. I winced, and I felt my stomach turn. I then grabbed the other soldier and used my alchemy on him before he could react.
"We could use that little man under you're foot." I said with a grin, making Greed grin in return. We left him there, for Archer. We waited for a while, and heard Archer and his men nearing. Greed tensed, and I slid my hand into his lap, and I smiled him, rubbing his leg provocatively. As Archer and his men found their fallen comrade, they looked to see he had a message in his chest.
Fail. Is all it said, the man then screamed, and curled in agony until a second later when he self destructed. We didn't stay around to see how bad the damage was. We ran until we found a small town, and we found a hotel. He rented a room, and I tried to look distant so people wouldn't get the wrong idea about us, until I saw some woman eying him, then I changed my mind. I didn't care what they thought.