Title: Awakenings (working title)

Author: Lanaraofearth

Disclaimer: The characters from "Mutant X" do not belong to me in any way shape or form. I am just borrowing them for the time being.

Summary: Emma deals with the consequences of her actions in "No Man Left Behind", both in terms of its impact on Mutant X and our favorite psionic.

If you wish you post this story on your website, please contact me first at enigmaticrw@hotmail.com, thanks.

Note: words in * are inner thoughts of the characters

Part 1

Emma DeLauro sat in silence, by the pond in sanctuary, starring down into the water. A frown marred her face as her gaze bore into her reflection.

* Who are you? *

Emma wondered how any one even recognized her anymore. She certainly didn't.

She wasn't sure that she liked the person that she saw starring back at her. The person in the water had lied to her friends and used her powers to wipe one of their memories.

It had been such a stressful day. Not only had the team been stuck in a war zone, with the double helix out of commission for a few hours, but she had changed.

It wasn't as if the attention from Jesse was wholly unpleasant; in fact Emma had been fighting certain growing feelings for her comrade for a little while, the timing had just been all wrong.

Emma hadn't allowed herself to be that open in a very long time.and for good reason. Opening herself up in that manner more than not led to a world of pain; she had the nightmares to prove it.

The things that she had seen and felt before.the thoughts of people passing by.they used to make her physically ill. Some of the things that went through peoples mind was enough to make one not only loose any faith in the human race, but to loose ones mind.

There had been days, before her time with Mutant X; and once or twice since, when she had believed that she was going to loose her mind. Days when she became lost in a sea of human emotions and feelings, of thoughts and images that were not of her own mind.

That day in particular had just been all too much. She hadn't told Jesse, but she had felt the pain that ran through the veins of that land. Felt the despair and desolation, the fear, the hatred, so much negativity, so much pain, too much. She still had nightmares; visions of children crying out as their parents were shot down before them, of people crying in the streets, of soldiers killing and torturing one another.

Emma shook herself of her depressive thoughts and attempted to regain her composure by pushing the harsh images away.

Jesse.she wished to heaven above that he hadn't have had to endure witnessing the images that she sent out at all. Sure, she had removed the memory, or more precisely, buried it so deep that it would never be found.however, just the knowledge that he had experienced something so terrible; it made Emma sick to her stomach, because she had done that to him.

* God.what am I becoming? Who am I? What kind of person does that to another human being? *

Emma's emotions came to a boil and she struck out at the vision below her in a vain attempt to rid herself of its glare.

"Damnit" she swore quietly as she ran a hand through her hair.

Why was it bothering her so much? *Because he trusted you, and you betrayed him. * her annoying inner voice supplied.

It wasn't that she did it very often any more. She hadn't a need to.

But out there, in the middle of that battle she had panicked.

The look of shock and fear that had been on Jesse's face after she had sent out that sensation of terror to the soldiers, it had scared her.

She didn't want the others to know what she was capable of and it wasn't because she was protecting herself.

* Don't lie to yourself Emma.you ARE protecting yourself, because you know exactly what would happen if any of them discovered who you really were.what you are really capable of, they would look at you like they did Ashlocke. They would reject you; just like your parents did; because then everyone would know that there IS something wrong with you.*

The thought sent a bolt of shiver along the young psionic's spine. If there was one thing that she feared, it was of ending up like him and loosing the only people in the world who cared about her.

Suddenly a hand came to rest on Emma's shoulder and the young mutant jumped in fright. Her defences went on automatic and a beam of energy emerged from Emma's forehead and slammed into her would be attacker.

Jesse stumbled backwards at the force of the blast. He had been completely unprepared for the attack.

He had been heading to bed after finishing the repairs to the double helix's systems, as it had been severely damaged on their mission to Kovakhastan a week earlier, when he had notice a movement by the reflection pool.

When he saw Emma deep in thought he had stopped and just beheld her, as he had not long ago. As he had been then, he was struck with the serene beauty of his friend. The moon shone down upon her, giving her skin an almost ethereal glow. She was absolutely amazing. There was an air of grace about her, a calm presence that grounded him and she had the largest heart, always looking out for everyone.

Before their mission to Kovakhastan, Jesse had never truly thought about what kind of impact Emma's powers might have on her, and now that he had an idea.he admired her all the more.

He knew that sometimes Shal and Brennan were anxious about her reading their minds, but Jesse had come to trust Emma.there was no reason not to. She just engendered his trust and.and his. * Oh come on, man.just admit it.there's more to this whatever it is then just friendship and respect.*

Jesse shook himself from his gaze, cutting himself off before he could finish that thought and decided to stop mooning over his object of fascination and approach her.

That had been the wrong move.and now Jesse lay flat on his back, on the other side of the pool, staring up at the ceiling of sanctuary.

A second later Emma was at his side. Her worried face hovering over him as her eyes began to water and Jesse berated himself for the pain he saw in her gaze, he should have known not to just sneak up on her like that. * Way to go, dumbass, make her cry; because that's a sure fire way of getting her to notice you; wait, where did that thought come from. *

Guilt ran through Emma as she looked over her fallen friend. "God, Jesse I am SOO sorry.I.."

Jesse shook himself from his thought and ignored the slight surge of pain as he lifted himself up into a seated position. He knew that he wasn't hurt, just a little sore. He forgot sometimes that Emma did have quite a quick to her powers sometimes.

Emma was horrified at having hurt her friend, how could she have allowed her defenses to be down?? She had known before she had met Adam NEVER to let her guard down. Her worry over Jesse's condition prompted her to start examining him, her emotional state causing her movements to become jerky and shaky.

The horror on Emma's soft features as she hurriedly searched for injuries evoked a need in Jesse to reassure her that he was alright.

"Emma? Emma, I'm okay, it's alright, it was just an accident." He called out to her softly, but she continued her frenzied search for nonexistent injuries. Jesse grunted as he sat up more fully and he slowly lifted his left hand to her face, cupping her cheek reverently, as he forced her to look at him.

Emma tried to avert her gaze, but Jesse would have none of it. He met and held her gaze and repeated himself, tenderly, but firmly, "I am alright, Emma. It's okay."

When Emma shook her head, Jesse lifted his other hand to her face and smiled, "I'm a tough guy, remember? I can take a psionic burst or two. Plus, I should know by now not to sneak up on a girl who can kick my ass."

Emma gave Jesse a weak smile in return as his gaze bore into her. She shyly met his gaze and was struck by the intensity of emotions behind his soulful eyes.

Suddenly, sanctuary felt a tad hotter than it had a moment again.

Emma's tongue snaked out to lick her lips and Jesse found his eyes fixed to its movement. He suddenly wanted nothing more in the world than to replace her tongue with his. To have his tongue licked her soft, sensual lips, to feel them pressed up against him own.

Emma herself was having trouble concentrating on anything other than the feral look that had emerged in Jesse's gaze, she felt his eyes boring into her, leaving heated flesh wherever they roamed. It felt so good to be touched, to feel the physical more profoundly then the emotional for once. It made her feel grounded and alive. For once she was just Emma DeLauro, not Emma the psionic mutant, as all outside stimulus was blocked and Emma focused solely on the touch of the man before her.

The pad of Jesse's thumb lovingly caressed the supple flesh beneath it and Emma closed her eyes at the sensation it evoked. As she did so, Jesse heart beat tripled as he watched in fascination at the erotic nature of her movements. Her eyes closed and her neck arched backwards. Needing, craving more Jesse moved his right hand from Emma's cheek, gliding it along her marble skin; down her neck. * So beautiful, and soft. So soft, nothing ever felt so soft. *

Emma almost cried out at the sweet torture Jesse was inflicting. She was amazed, and slightly embarrassed, at her reaction to him. It was such a simple touch, but it seemed to ignite a fire that within her that consumed. * God, this feels so good, so warm. *

Unknowingly, Emma opened herself up to Jesse, so not only was she feeling her reactions to his touch, but his reactions to her and little did she know that Jesse was experiencing the same connection.

It was like she opened up a floodgate, very slowly and Jesse was suddenly acutely aware of what kind of effect his actions were causing within the beauty before him. He knew that she wanted him, right now, almost desperately.just like he wanted her.

He hadn't come to her to entice her to sleep with him, that hadn't been his intention at all. In fact, he had been worried about her ever since they had left the war zone. She had been quiet and introverted throughout the entire ride back to sanctuary and had just gone straight to her room.

He didn't know what it was, but it was as if Jesse could sense her moods, her feelings on some level as well. * This is amazing, god it feels so good to touch her, to feel her against me *

It was intoxicating, feeling their combined desire and Jesses face slowly descended towards hers. Emma felt his warm breathe against her lips a moment before they claimed hers and it was as if an electric current suddenly sparked to life.

Emma moaned into the kiss as Jesse brushed his mouth across hers languidly, devouring her. His hand came to rest at the small of her back and pulled her against him. Emma gasped, but it was strangled as Jesse claimed her lips again, capturing her top lip with his own and then caressing it with his tongue.

Needing more, Jesse slid his tongue along her lips, asking for permission to enter and Emma didn't hesistate and she opened herself to him more fully.

Just as the kiss began to deepen, a voice penetrated their sensual haze.

"Jesse. Jesse? Jesse are you there?"

Adams voice called out through their communicator and Emma and Jesse froze and they quickly pulled apart.

Jesse coughed before responding, "Yeah * cough* yeah, Adam, I'm here. What's up?"

Emma heard bits of the conversation as she quickly rose to her feet and attempted to compose herself. The intensity of the moment had left her heart beating madly in her chest and as she became aware of a fierce ache in the pit of her stomach.

* God, what am I doing? * Emma ran a hand through her disheveled hair, she could still feel a strong pull towards Jesse. His desire for her was still present in her mind and her lips tingled from his kisses.

Jesse wasn't looking at Emma and as she looked at him her desire for him returned.

Jesse felt Emma's gaze burning into his back.he could still feel her want.her longing.and he struggled to concentrate on his conversation with Adam.

Emma stood nervously shifting on her feet, contemplating what she should do. She liked Jesse. She MORE than liked him, but there was a part of her that was afraid. What would happen if Jesse found out about what she did? What if, when he got to know her, he didn't like what he found. People tended not to stick around long with her. * If I open myself up to him, what happens when he leaves? God I don't think that I could bare it. *

The fear froze the fire flowing through Emma's veins and quickly fled the room.

Jesse finished discussing the double helix's systems and breathed a sigh of relief.

He ran a hand through his blond locks and turned to give his apologies to his lovely companion, a smile on his face..and the smile disappeared from his face.

Emma was gone.

Jesse stood up to go after her, but decided that maybe for the moment he should leave her alone. He would make sure to talk to her in the morning.

There was no way that he was going to let what happened go. There was too much at stake.

End Part 1

What do you guys think? This is my first Mutant X fan fic.should I continue.