I do not own Criminal Minds.
Rated T for some language.
The elevator dinged and the doors slid opened. Out walked the ever quirky Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia who was carrying a platter of cookies. The heavenly aroma filled the bullpen, catching the attention of three profilers who all inhaled the delicious smell.
"Man, baby girl, those smell good." Morgan said as he took another sniff.
"Glad you think so." Garcia smiled as she headed towards the break room.
Morgan got to his feet and followed Penelope and her tasty cookies, Reid and Prentiss not far behind. Once they reached their destination, Garcia was sitting the platter on the counter. Morgan went to grab one of the cookies when she batted his hand away.
"Uh-uh." Garcia waved her finger. "Those are for until after work."
"After work? Come on now..." Morgan protested as he went for another attempt but he failed again.
"Did you not hear me, Derek Morgan? I said 'after work'." Garcia scolded.
"Why after work? Why can't we have them now?" Prentiss asked, confused.
"Because." Garcia smiled. "I feel they'll be more special that way."
"But they'll get cold sitting here that long" Reid said..
"Not to worry, my junior G-man. I brought an insulated lid." Garcia held up a large, round, clear lid that she put over the platter of cookies. Morgan sighed sadly. He really wanted one of them now, but he knew as long as Garcia was still breathing, that would never happen.
"Penelope, can't I just have one?" He asked hopefully.
"Sorry my chocolate thunder, but you'll have to wait, just like everyone else." With that, Garcia headed out of the break room. She stopped at the doorway before turning back towards the three. "There's an alarm attached. That way I'll be able to know if one of you is sneaking."
Morgan watched as she disappeared into her "cave". Glancing back at the platter on the counter, he abruptly looked away.
"Better be careful, Morgan." Prentiss warned. "Who knows what Garcia would do to you if you ate one of those cookies."
"She's right." Spencer agreed. "Though I bet you'll snap before the day's over."
Morgan stared at the young doctor. "Is that a challenge, Pretty Boy?"
Reid looked at him, smirking. "Maybe, maybe not."
"Oh, you are so on!" Morgan said, determination on his face.
Emily rolled her eyes as they walked back to their desks. The scent of Garcia's cookies still fresh. Morgan tried hard to ignore it but was having a difficult time. Reid took notice and continued to smirk as several ideas began to dance through his head.
"Hungry, Morgan?" He asked innocently.
"You be quiet." The older agent muttered.
Reid got up from his chair and went to the break room. He came out a minute later with a cookie in his hand. Morgan stared at him, his eyes wide.
"Reid, is that one of Garcia's cookies?"
"No." Reid said simply. "This is some other cookie that was in there." He slowly began to nibble on the baked treat.
Morgan watched him for a moment. "Say, kid, you planning on sharing?" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
Reid looked as if he was considering. "I don't know..." He said. "I'm awfully hungry."
"Tell that to that breakfast sandwich you ate earlier." Morgan said defensively.
"Sorry." Reid said before messily eating the rest of the cookie in his hand.
Morgan glared at him. "You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?"
"Whatever do you mean?" Spencer smiled.
"You're trying to make me snap, that's what." Morgan said, pointing accusingly at the younger man. Reid's smile never faded, that was a bit unnerving to Morgan.
"Don't think you're gonna be successful, 'cause you won't be."
"Oh we'll see about that." Reid said rather calmly.
Morgan muttered under his breath. What was with this kid today? He never would of thought Spencer having such a mischievous side like this. Sure, Reid was a frequent victim of his teasing, but it seems that he's trying to turn the tables on him today.
So not happening. Morgan thought. He wasn't going to let the kid win. He would just need to be extra cautious for whatever more tricks he was thinking up in that big brain of his. And Derek most certainly didn't want to snap and suffer. He knew very well that no deadly unsub could match the Wrath of Garcia.
Shuddering at the thought, Morgan hoped some boring paperwork would help get his mind off those cookies that were sitting in the break room... That delicious chocolaty, sugary mix, beckoning him, calling out for him...
Pull yourself together!
Morgan grunted as he tried to bury his face in some paperwork. At least the smell had finally died down. Maybe he could pull through the day after all.
Reid got up and went to the break room for the second time. Morgan swore that he saw the kid grinning.
Inside, Reid saw a small fan on the counter. Giggling to himself, he placed the fan next to the cookies, turned the fan so it faced the platter and the doorway. He plugged it in and hurried back to his desk.
Morgan eyed him warily when he returned, wondering what Reid was up to in there. He soon found out when his nostrils were assaulted with the fresh smell of Garcia's treats. He tried to cover his nose but the scent still reached it. He turned to a giddy looking Spencer.
"What did you do in there?" He glared.
"I was just, uh, looking for something for Hotch?"
Morgan growled as he rose from his seat and dashed towards the break room to see the fan on the counter, blowing the aroma of the baked goods into the bullpen.
With one swift move, the profiler ripped the cord out of the wall and shoved the fan onto the floor in a huff. Storming back to his desk, his glare never left a certain young man who had an ear to ear grin on his face.
"Nice try, Pretty Boy, but it didn't work." Morgan said smugly.
"Who's to say something else won't?" Reid smirked.
Prentiss sighed. "Do I need to ground you two?"
"Why don't you spank them?"
The three FBI agents' eyes widened as they turned and saw David Rossi leaning against the railing. He looked somewhat amused.
Prentiss blushed, Morgan just stared at the veteran profiler.
"Ah, no thanks." Spencer said nervously as he went back to his paperwork that he had already finished.
Rossi chuckled and moved back towards his office. He stopped and turned his head. "Oh, and good luck Morgan. I feel you'll need it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked indigently, but the Senior SSA had already retreated. Reid giggled and Morgan gave him a dirty look.
(Spencer Reid!)
Lunchtime came and went. Morgan made sure to eat as much as he could so those damn cookies of Garcia's wouldn't get to him. Though, he was sure Reid wasn't quite finished with his tricks yet.
About 30 minutes passed without incident when Reid went to a nearby vending machine and inserted a couple coins. He punched in the code and reached inside when the shiny blue bag fell off the track. The young genius pulled out the bag of Chips Ahoy cookies and trotted back to his desk.
Spencer opened the bag and began to eat, rather nosily.
Morgan gritted his teeth. He reached into his pocket but found that he had no money. Reid caught the action and grinned.
"Need some change, Morgan?" Reid asked innocently.
"No." He replied flatly.
"Just as well." Reid said. "This was the last bag in there." He gestured toward the bag in his hand.
Morgan rubbed his hands over his face. "I don't suppose you plan on sharing those either?" He asked, trying not to sound desperate.
"Well... Okay."
Morgan's head shot up upon hearing this. He whirled around in his chair, holding his hands out expectantly. Reid had grin on his face that made Morgan skeptical. The younger agent tipped the bag upside down over Morgan's hands only for nothing to come out besides crumbs.
Morgan just stared at his crumb covered hands for a moment.
"You little-!" Reid had already fled before Morgan could finish.
Emily snickered. "Having a rough day, Derek?"
"Oh, hush." Morgan said. He got up and went to Garcia's office. He knocked on the door and opened it before the Technical Analyst was able to announce a quirky response.
"Baby girl." He said exasperatedly.
"What can the Supreme Goddess do for y-" She was cut off when Morgan got on his knees and clasped his hands together in front of her. He didn't care how pathetic he looked.
"Garcia, can't you just let me break the rules once?" Morgan practically begged.
"You heard me earlier, handsome. 'After work'." She said determinately.
"But Penny." He protested. "Pretty Boy out there's been making the day pure hell!"
"Oh, it can't be that bad." Garcia coaxed.
"But it is!" Morgan defended. "He's been trying all day to get me to snap." Morgan's desperate expression turned to one of an evil smile. "But I am close to snapping his neck."
Garcia gasped in mock horror. "Don't you hurt my junior G-man!"
"You haven't seen what he's done to me."
Garcia sighed and looked at her watch. 1:38 PM
"Just a few more hours okay?" She smiled. Morgan didn't share the same enthusiasm.
"But that gives Reid plenty more time to use his tricks on me!"
"Just ignore him. Only focus on work or something." Garcia suggested. Morgan exhaled.
"Alright, I'll try." He said, defeated.
"Good." Garcia nudged him until he was out the door, which she closed in his face.
(Spencer Reid!)
Morgan stared at the door for a moment before turning around. He saw Reid had returned to his desk from wherever he had been hiding.
"Hey Morgan!" Reid said happily as he waved.
Just ignore him.
He groaned and stalked back to his own desk. He wanted to smack that friendly smile off Reid's face but he managed to muster up enough willpower not to.
Just a few more hours. You heard baby girl. Just a few more hours...
"Hey, Morgan." Reid said, trying to get his attention.
Morgan stayed silent, instead keeping his focus on his paperwork.
"I disabled the alarm on Garcia's cookie platter." Reid tapped him on the shoulder.
"Yeah, right." Morgan scoffed as he rolled his eyes. It's probably another trick.
"No, really! Look, I'll even show you." Reid sprinted from the bullpen and disappeared into the break room. He came out moments later with something in his hand. From what Morgan could tell, it looked an awful lot like one of Garcia's cookies. His eyes widened but he tried to keep Reid from seeing.
"See?" He grinned. "Why don't you go get yourself one?"
"Nah, I'll wait." Morgan shrugged.
"Suit yourself." Reid smiled. He waved the baked treat he had in Morgan's face before sitting down.
Morgan tried hard to use what self control he had. But that cookie smelled like the real thing!
Finally, he got to his feet and pointed a finger at Spencer. "This better not be a trick!"
Reid showed off his cookie. "Does it look like a trick?"
Morgan sighed as he made his way to the break room. He stopped in front of the counter with the platter of cookies. He scanned around at the small, black device attached to the lid. The thing wasn't making any noise, and there wasn't any lights blinking. He wondered if he could somehow remove it from the lid just to be safe.
The cautious agent put one hand on the lid to hold it down, and another on the alarm. He gave a tug but the device didn't budge. He breathed and tried again but still no progress. In frustration, he gave a strong pull, but instead of the alarm detaching from the lid, the platter slid across the slippery counter top, the movement caused a sound that made Morgan's heart skip a beat.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Prentiss looked up when the noise hit her ears. Confused, she gazed in the direction from which the sound was coming from. She failed to notice Reid, who's smile couldn't get any wider.
Morgan heard rapid footsteps approaching. He panicked and moved away from the counter,.there was no place for him to hide. He glared out the doorway, straight at his smiling colleague. Spencer Reid, you are a dead man.
Morgan could tell by the look on Spencer's face that read "Actually, Morgan. It is you who is dead."
Before he knew it, an angry Garcia was standing in front of him. He gulped, fearing what was to come.
"Derek Morgan!" She scolded. Morgan flinched. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"Penelope, it's not what you think." He tried to defend himself.
"We shall see." She said in a threatening tone as she stepped to the counter. She lifted the lid and began to count the platter's contents. Once she finished, she sat the lid back and and reset the alarm while keeping it from view. She turned around, her deathly glare gone. Morgan wasn't sure if he should let his guard down just yet.
"Okay, Derek, you're off the hook." Garcia smiled.
Morgan sighed with relief, his eased his tense body and finally dared to look at Penelope in the face.
"Thanks, baby girl." Garcia hurried back to her bubble.
Morgan came out of the break room, looking like he aged a few years. He growled when he heard a familiar voice giggling like a girl.
"Hee hee hee! That was too good! Hee hee!"
Derek wanted to strangle the giddy profiler, but decided against it. He sent Reid a look that could kill.
Reid finally calmed down after a few minutes, wiping a tear from his eye, glancing at the cookie he still had on his desk. Turning towards his exasperated co-worker, he cleared his throat.
"Morgan, I still have this cookie. I was gonna share it with you if Garcia didn't kill you first." Morgan spun around to glare at him again. Unfazed, Reid continued. "Since she didn't, here you go." He broke off half of the treat and plopped it on his desk.
Morgan was tempted to throw the cookie at the younger agent. He stared at it for a minute before picking it up and sniffing it. Smells pretty safe. He thought as he inched the thing closer to his mouth. He stopped as he recalled earlier events. Derek now found it hard to trust the kid, he wondered if he ever could again.
He took a small bite and immediately regretted it. This wasn't one of Garcia's chocolate and sugar cookies. Honestly, Morgan had no idea what it was and was afraid to find out.
He slowly turned to face Reid who unsurprisingly was grinning for the umpteenth time today. Speaking in a low and dangerous voice, he asked.
"Reid, what is this?"
Morgan saw a sparkle in Reid's eye when he replied. "Oh, just a little something I like to call 'Spencer's Surprise'."
If a dark, gray cloud could have settled over Derek's head, it would have. He didn't hesitate to carelessly toss the 'cookie' over his shoulder. It landed on the floor above the bullpen when a door opened.
Aaron Hotchner walked out of his office, staring at a case file when suddenly he heard a SPLAT! He looked down at the mess on the floor that was now on the bottom of his shoe.
JJ appeared out of her own office, intending to refill her coffee until she spotted the pile of brown stuff that Hotch was standing in. "What is that?"
Several thoughts ran through their minds as they stared at the unknown substance. JJ dropped her cup and covered her mouth as she rushed towards the restrooms.
Shaking his head, Hotch sent a stern gaze into the bullpen as he stepped closer to the railing. Reid and Morgan both tensed.
"It was him, Hotch!" Morgan quickly jabbed a finger towards the younger man.
"He threw it!" Reid copied Morgan's action.
Aaron's expression never changed. "We'll talk about this later." He finally said in a tone that made no room for argument. The two profilers watched as their leader went to the other restroom, likely to clean off his shoe. They both stopped holding their breath.
"You sure are going to a lot of trouble to get me to eat those cookies, you know that, kid?" Morgan said.
"But it was fun." Reid smiled.
"I'm gonna get you for today. You just watch."
"It seems I've been the one who's been doing all the 'getting'." He smirked.
Morgan just stared at him with shock. "Who are you?" He laughed.
"I believe I am Supervisory Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid." Reid said. Prentiss sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair.
"Smart ass." Morgan muttered. He glanced at the clock and saw it was only two hours until shift was over. Two hours until he could finally get those cookies...
Of course, Morgan knew well that Reid still had time to pull off another stunt or two in the meantime, or a case could come up.
That's it. Morgan thought. I am staying right here at my desk for those two hours. No way in hell am I gonna let that kid pull yet another one on me!
(Spencer Reid!)
Luckily for Morgan, those two hours were lacking of any fans on counters, vending machine snacks, angry Technical Analysts, beeping alarms, Spencer's surprises or someone stepping in them.
He could barely contain his excitement when Garcia came out of her office and shouted "cookie time!" The team gathered into the break room. Garcia went to grab her platter when she stopped.
"What's wrong baby girl?" Morgan asked, raising an eyebrow.
She whirled around with the angry look she had earlier.
"Somebody snuck a cookie!" She glared daggers at the others.
"How do you know?" Prentiss asked.
Garcia held her finger up, speaking in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Because, there were 14 cookies in this platter. Now there's 13!"
"Who do you suppose ate it?" Reid pondered, looking around.
Penelope looked as though she was about to speak again, she stopped and rushed to the bullpen, towards Morgan's, Prentiss' and Reid's desks.
All except Hotch and Rossi followed. They stood and watched from the doorway.
"Aha!" Garcia cried in victory. Reid's face became pale. More so than it usually was.
"So, my junior G-man. You are the one!" Garcia accused as she held in her hand 'Spencer's Surprise' but she didn't know that.
"Ga-Garcia, t-that's not one of y-your cookies!" Reid stuttered. Garcia wasn't buying it. He cursed himself for making 'Spencer's Surprise' look just like her cookies.
Morgan grinned. Payback time. It is so payback time!
"Pen, you should smell it and see for yourself." He said.
Garcia did just that. She held the other half of 'Spencer's Surprise' up to her nose and sniffed. She glared at Spencer who was now trembling. "This smells exactly like my recipe!"
"But I didn't take it!"
Reid gulped and tried one last attempt to save his ass. "Um, why don't you taste it?"
"I can tell my recipes by the scent alone!" Garcia pointed to her nose. I'm screwed. Spencer thought.
"Uh-oh, Pretty Boy. You know what happens when you make Garcia mad." Morgan smiled evilly.
Spencer couldn't believe how this day suddenly took a 180 degree turn when he took off in a sprint but Prentiss blocked his path.
"Emily!" He shouted.
"Sorry, Reid, but you know you can't escape the Wrath of the Technical Goddess." She said with a smirk.
Reid dashed towards the doors but this time, Morgan stood in the way.
"Not so fast, kid." He grinned.
He took a few steps back and hurried to another area of the bullpen, only to have JJ, Rossi and even Hotch cut off his retreat.
"Come on guys. Please?" He begged, but they didn't respond. Garcia, Morgan and Prentiss joined them and soon the young doctor was completely surrounded by his teammates.
"Time to punish this foolish mortal." Garcia said playfully as she rubbed her hands together.
Reid was already wishing he had never picked on Morgan today as said agent chuckled.
"W-what are you guys gonna d-do to me?" Spencer asked fearfully.
Garcia smiled brightly. "You shall soon find out."
(Spencer Reid!)
"Mmm." Morgan said as he savored the sugary goodness. "Pen, these are the bomb!"
"Yeah." Emily agreed. These are some of the best you've made.
"Sure wish my wives ever baked this good." Rossi shook his head before taking another bite out of the cookie in his hand.
"They're delicious". JJ complimented.
"Glad you all think so!" Garcia said happily as she grabbed another for herself.
"Garcia." Hotch spoke up. "Mind if I take a few home to Jack?"
"Of course not, boss man!" Hotch nodded.
"Guys, I'm telling the truth! I didn't take that cookie!" A nearby voice squeaked, but he was ignored.
Reid sighed. Looking at the chair he was sitting in, away from the table. "Sitting" didn't actually describe it. He gazed at each one of his wrists and ankles that were all handcuffed to the chair. He really didn't take that last cookie, but he wondered who on Earth did.
He tilted his head down so his hair would separate him from the sight of his friends enjoying cookies in front of him. Unfortunately, he had no way to block out the sound as Morgan belched.
"Don't worry, Spence, we'll save you one." JJ assured him.
"Maybe." Morgan added with a smirk.
Finally, they all finished. Reid looked up and saw they did indeed save him a cookie.
He was freed from the chair and he quickly snatched his dessert.
"Garcia, I'm sorry, but I honestly didn't take that cookie." He said.
"It's okay, sweetie. We'll let that drop. For now." She smiled and left.
The rest of the team eventually departed.
(Spencer Reid!)
Spencer sighed as he exited the building, finding it hard to believe his day. Morgan called out to him and he stopped and turned around.
"Yeah, Morgan?"
Morgan spoke when he finally caught up to the younger profiler.
"About today..." He trailed off.
"I'm sorry, Morgan."
"I'm sorry too, kid." Morgan said.
Morgan ruffled Reid's hair before speaking again. "One thing's for sure though."
Reid raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Morgan grinned as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a handful of crumbs. Cookie crumbs.
Reid's eyes widened as he struggled for his voice.
"Uh- Mo- Y-you- How did you...?"
Morgan leaned closer to Reid's ear and whispered with a smirk. "A pro never reveals his secrets."
Reid just gawked at him. "Why didn't you just, you know, eat it?"
"And let you get away scott-free with everything you did to me today? No way, Reid!"
"But-"
"I told you I was gonna get you for today, Pretty Boy." Morgan said smugly.
Reid still couldn't figure out how Morgan got past Garcia's alarm. He worked his brain and eidetic memory, but for once, he wasn't getting any answers.
Spencer was still a little lost for words. "I, I can't believe you-" Morgan cut him off.
"Let's just say we're even."
(Spencer Reid!)
Erin Struass got inside her car when she heard shouting. The Section Chief looked over and saw Agent Reid chasing Agent Morgan with what appeared to be a tree branch around the FBI parking lot.
She shook her head and drove home.
The end!