Miscalculation

A James and Cindy Story.

Cindy tapped her foot in annoyance, as James continued fiddling with a gadget on the table.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Not until Principle Rockwaller gets here." James aid, the High School Junior continuing to fiddle with the small, globular object.

Cindy started to accelerate the rate of tapping the floor with her foot. "And why is that?"

"Because we're going to solve a problem she has, and that will put her in our debt!" James said with a superior air. "We won't have to worry about her threatening us about missions and such."

"Okay, fine. What is the problem?"

"The dirty floors."

Cindy nodded at that. Principle Rockwaller really got bent out of shape over the condition the student body left the school in sometimes.

"And," James continued, "It'll keep her from pestering us about tutoring the cheerleaders and football team." They both stuck their tongues out about that. Mom might get misty eyed at her past, but James really didn't see much of the point to football…especially if the players were needing tutoring. Cindy had the same problem with cheerleaders, especially since her skin did tend towards her mom's end of the spectrum and some of them had made fun of her.

Well at least until she'd demonstrated all the other ways in which she was similar to her mom.

"Okay." Cindy started, and then the door opened and Bonnie Rockwaller-Flagg entered, wearing clothes that had caused some nasty gossip about how she afforded them on an administrators salary.

"I'm here." Bonnie said, looking that the two students. "And we have ten minutes until the bell rings and we have to give up this lab." She continued, looking with a certain amount of pride at the chem lab she'd helped fund. It even had its own small office, where a teacher could work (or take shelter from a problem experiment… the window not only had a shade but was made out of three inch thick ballistic plastic.

"Okay." James said. "Look at this table top." Bonnie did, and frowned. A semesters worth of baked in spills and stains discolored it.

"Yes." She said. "Remind me to give every student at this table detention."

"You don't have to!" James said happily. "I was working on a way to make bad guys lose their footing and I came up with this gadget." He showed her a small globe. "It reduces friction to zero, and so the material just falls right off. It's directional, so I can just play it on the desktop and there we go…or the gym floor, or anywhere." He grinned, "Here, let me show you."

"James, wait." Bonnie said, having lived through the Tweebs, "Have you tested it before."

"Oh a breadboard unit, but this is the perfect one." James said, as he hit the switch even as Bonnie's mouth opened to tell him, STOP.

The field made the unit slippery, and James dropped it, and for a moment, for a tiny moment, the field encompassed Bonnie and Cindy.

Many things depend on friction. Among them are the fibers in most modern clothes, which of course remain together because of friction.

In a moment, Bonnie and Cindy were in the center of twin clouds of dissipating fibers, as well as come clattering sounds as everything metal dropped to the floor around them, Cindy's change and Bonnie's phone. They were to put it bluntly, naked as Jay birds.

"Ah." James said, looking at the two of them, as the unit slipped through his fingers to fall unnoticed. Cindy's combat suit would have survived, not being made out of cloth…but she wasn't wearing it.

Pity.

"James, what i-Omigod!" Cindy shrieked. "What did you do!"

Bonnie was faster, even as James paralyzed eyes took in the fact that she was naked and realized now he had the answer to some timeless student body questions about Bonnie Rockwaller-Flagg. (The answers being: No, No, and Yes.).

Bonnie didn't scream or shriek. She quickly stepped up to the counter and put her arms over her chest, the counter and arms insuring that James wouldn't see anything…else.

Cindy was glaring at James, waving her arms. "James Possible-Stoppable! You dummy! Do you know how much those clothes cost! I'm going to-!" She was so furious she was bouncing on her feet and Bonnie looked over her and quickly spoke in pig-latin.

"Ixnay on the ouncy-bay." She said, in a very calm voice.

Cindy looked down, realized what she'd been doing, looked up, met James' paralyzed gaze, and shrieked.

"TURN AROUND!"

That broke his paralysis, and James spun around, even as Cindy spun around, so that now their backs faced each other.

"It was an accident!" James shouted.

"Oh sure! You're probably looking at me!"

"I am not!"

"Oh yeah? You just want me to turn around!"

"I do not! I wasn't even looking- Besides, I've seen you when you're dressing!"

"That's different!"

"Well I wasn't looking!"

"Sure you were, or were you looking at Principle Rockwaller!"

"No-Yes, I mean, no, but yes!" Now Cindy was rapidly darkening towards Shego's color in addition to putting off enough heat that Bonnie realized she might set off the fire sensors. She quickly whistled to get their attention.

"Cindy, James has turned around. James, you stay turned around."

"Yes ma'am." James said.

"Now, there are lab coats in that closet in front of you James, open it, get them and hand them over your back."

"But-" Cindy started.

"Because when the bell rings there will be 30 sophomores in this room, Cindy and I'd prefer to avoid giving them a show."

"Okay." Cindy said. Moments later, Bonnie told James to turn around and he did, seeing Cindy and Bonnie in a pair of labcoats... (Bonnie's was a bit small for her frame. Yes, James realized, he might die but the answer to the last question was definitely yes.).

"Now. We will walk to the office, and there Cindy and I will call our respective homes, lie through our teeth about what happened to our clothes and then dress. At the end of the Day you will BOTH come to my office….understand?"

"Yes Ma'am." They both meekly said.

Everyone else was happily going home, save for two students sitting in front of Bonnie Rockwaller-Flagg.

"This is your fault!" Cindy said, glaring at James.

"It was an accident!"

"Oh sure, and accident that just happened to give you a look at me!"

"I didn't want to-"

"Didn't-what does that mean!"

Bonnie rapped on the desk before the two could continue. "I've decided, that there will be no punishment." She said, "Cindy, it was an accident. That's it. Now, I'm here to ask you one final time—will you two help tutor?"

"Nope."

"Never!"

Bonnie sighed, "Well, It is a volunteer activity…but here, could you check these word problems I've set up, one math problem for you James, and one literature problem for you, Cindy."

James looked at his, and blinked. It didn't..

Oh no. Oh No.

If a Train leaves Los Angeles at the same time a Train Leaves New York, presuming they are both traveling at the same speed on the same track, where will Shego have to tie James Possible-Stoppable to the tracks to insure they hit him at the same time after she learns what he saw today?

Next to him, Cindy was squeaking in horror.

In Greek Mythology, Sisyphus was forever condemned to keep trying to get a stone up a hill, only to have it roll back down at the last moment, repeating throughout eternity. Compare this task to Cindy Lipsky-Go's attempts to convince Kim Possible-Stoppable that she really didn't understand what bouncing up and down would do to James Possible-Stoppable.

"You…you…"

"You are blackmailing us?" Cindy completed James' horrified statement.

"Blackmailing is such a nasty term." Bonnie said, "I prefer to see it as a possible set of consequences."

"And if we were to tutor?" James asked.

"I'd be much less concerned about consequences."

"We'll do it." Cindy said. James nodded next to her, a fixed smile on his face.

"Boy am I ready to start tutoring!" He said.

"That's so wonderful." Bonnie said, "And James?"

"Yes?"

"Some secrets are very good—like I think you should work very hard to insure that no student learns about the ah, new use for your invention…since oh if something like that happened to the cheer leading squad I'd… well I'd come to your funeral."

James paled. "I understand ma'am." The two got up and beat a hasty retreat, and Bonnie grinned.

Then she picked up the phone. At no point had she actually said she wouldn't talk to their parents, after all…

Epilogue:

Kim was in bed next to Ron. It was normal, save for the fact that both of them had pillows over their heads, their shoulders shaking. Kim finally removed her, and checking to make certain the door was closed, continued with her story.

"And Bonnie had to tell Cindy to stop bouncing and then she realized what she'd been doing…"

"Oh Lord, no wonder Shego looked like she was either going to bust a gut or have a stroke." Ron said, "So we're keeping this a secret?"

"Yap." Kim said. "Although Drew thinks that James really should get his 'mad scientist' card."

"Heh, I bet he does." Ron paused, "Would it be wrong to tease James about it without letting on?"

"I already did, talking about how pretty his principle was when we were in High School."

"How red?"

"Try a brick." Kim bit her lip at the image of her son. "Bonnie did have an order and a suggestion for you, though."

"Order? I'm not in school any more!"

"Yes, but she did say you'd take any suggestion from your intellectual superior as an order."

"Still our precious little Bon-Bon…" Ron said, and Kim smacked him with the pillow.

"Remember, never bring that nickname up in the presence of our son. I don't want to have to pick him up from detention at the North Pole."

"Understood, Ma'am." Ron said. "So what are my orders?"

"She suggested that you might bring up how valuable a frictionless pan would be in washing things."

"Hmm…" Ron paused and thought. "I might be too expensive for a single pan, but if you could put it in a washing machine…all the crud would fall off—you wouldn't even need water or detergent."

"I thought of that," Kim said, "Good for areas where water is expensive…"

"And the order?"

"If it works out, she wants a 10% finders fee."

"Heh. IF it works out, she deserves it." Ron said, then paused. "So why was she so eager to get 'em tutoring?"

"Oh, that." Kim said, calming down. "Bonnie…" She paused, "Bonnie's a little worried about that."

"Worried? Why?"

"Well, she thinks that James and Cindy are really too used to just associating with people who are at their level—Dad, the Tweebs, our other friends…she wants them to get used to working with people who aren't really as skilled in some areas as they are." Kim looked over at Ron, "She said that the people they're tutoring are serious about it, so they won't be working with jerks, but once they're graduated, they won't be able to segregate their associates by IQ level."

"Smart." Ron commented. Then he blinked, remembering some earlier incidents. "You do realize that I never would have dreamed back in high school that I'd be really happy that Bonnie was the one in charge of our kid and his, ah…" He paused, "Are they still 'not dating!'?"

"Yep. Still oblivious."

"Ah, then his friend." Ron said, eyes twinkling.

"Well, we've all changed." Kim said. "Just don't let on to them how much Bonnie's done for them. It'll ruin her entire reputation for eating children alive and picking her teeth with their bones."

"I'd never do that—cause then she'd have to eat us alive…" Ron grinned and rolled over to face his wife. "And this entire discussion made me laugh so much I don't think I can get back to sleep unless…"

Kim had rolled over to face her husband.

"I was thinking the same thing, Ron…and since tomorrow we're going to have to figure out how to bring up the frictionless pan question to James without letting on we know anything…we need to do anything we can to get a good nights sleep…well in a few hours, anyway…"

"Ah-boo-yah."

End.