BLAME VOLDEMORT!!!
Note: First off, this is impossible to sing to the actually tune. Secondly, I added a few extra lines. Thirdly, there is another note at the end of the filk explaining why some of the lines are what they are. I'm only explaining the not so obvious ones though. :) Happy reading!
Harry: Time's have changed, our spells are getting worse.
Ron: Hermione's nuts 'bout house-elves...
Hermione: And all Ron does is curse!
Ron: Should we blame the %#&*!@# Ministry?!
Hermione: Or blame Profesor Trelawney?!
Mr. Weasley: Or should we blame the stuff on Muggle TG?
Harry: Psst, it's TV!
Dumbledore: No, blame Voldemort!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort!
Sirius: With both his reddish snake-like eyes, and balding head so full of flies!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Blame Voldemort!
Lupin: Hey! Where's the money from my vault?!
Everyone: It's Voldemort's fault!
Wormtail: Don't blame me, for my betrayal! Now Voldies's back and all you can do is kiss my tail! (Lupin and Sirius curse him on the spot)
Mr. Dursley: And my Dudley once had his picture on our shelf. Then SOMEONE blasted it to bits, and made his tongue go purple! (evil glance at Harry)
Harry: Hey, that doesn't rhyme or fit in here!
Fred and George: Well, blame Voldemort!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort!
Lupin: It seems that everything's gone wrong...
James: Since Voldemort came along!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Blame Voldemort!
Percy: (puffs up) He's not even a real wizard anyway! (when I compare him to Mr. Crouch...!) (Voldemort curses him and he starts dancing the Macarena)
Cedric: I could've won the Triwizard Tournament, it's true! Instead I died without a clue!
Everyone: Should we blame the Portkey? Should we blame the Goblet of Fire? Or the Death-Eater who allowed him to expire?
Malfoy: Heck no! (He's better off dead...hehe)
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Blame Voldemort!
Harry: With all his Dark Arts hubbabaloo!
Hermione: And that bitch Nagini too!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Shame on Voldemort!
Lily: The wizard we must stop...
James: 'Til our wands break and flop!
Hermione: Homework and sports...
Ron: And sweets of all sorts! (Harry: Huh?)
Harry: We must end this song and let Ron cuss!
Ron: Before someone thinks of @&^#$& flaming us!
The end note: First off, I KNOW Wormtail's lines make no sense...anyway, "kiss my tail" is supposed to be the equivalent of "kiss my @$$". Now starting from the beginning...now, why would Ron curse? We know that in the chapter titled "The Dark Mark" (Goblet of Fire), Ron said something "he would never have dared say in front of Mrs. Weasley". Then Malfoy replies, "Language, Weasley." So he was probably swearing. Why would Voldie's head be filled with flies? Think of the Hogwarts song: "Our HEADS could do some filling with some interesting stuff, for now they're bare and full of air, dead FLIES and bits of fluff." Oh yeah, when Malfoy says "He's better off dead...hehe," that's HIS thoughts, and not one of my quirky wisecracks ;) That's it, tell me if there's something I should explain.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, the quotes from the book, and all other related material is property of J.K. Rowling (^_^) "Blame Canada" is owned by whoever owns South Park (Comedy Central?) And the Macarena is owned by...uh, whoever owns it (I'm not sure) And whatever else I might have forgot...please don't sue me!!!
Note: First off, this is impossible to sing to the actually tune. Secondly, I added a few extra lines. Thirdly, there is another note at the end of the filk explaining why some of the lines are what they are. I'm only explaining the not so obvious ones though. :) Happy reading!
Harry: Time's have changed, our spells are getting worse.
Ron: Hermione's nuts 'bout house-elves...
Hermione: And all Ron does is curse!
Ron: Should we blame the %#&*!@# Ministry?!
Hermione: Or blame Profesor Trelawney?!
Mr. Weasley: Or should we blame the stuff on Muggle TG?
Harry: Psst, it's TV!
Dumbledore: No, blame Voldemort!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort!
Sirius: With both his reddish snake-like eyes, and balding head so full of flies!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Blame Voldemort!
Lupin: Hey! Where's the money from my vault?!
Everyone: It's Voldemort's fault!
Wormtail: Don't blame me, for my betrayal! Now Voldies's back and all you can do is kiss my tail! (Lupin and Sirius curse him on the spot)
Mr. Dursley: And my Dudley once had his picture on our shelf. Then SOMEONE blasted it to bits, and made his tongue go purple! (evil glance at Harry)
Harry: Hey, that doesn't rhyme or fit in here!
Fred and George: Well, blame Voldemort!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort!
Lupin: It seems that everything's gone wrong...
James: Since Voldemort came along!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Blame Voldemort!
Percy: (puffs up) He's not even a real wizard anyway! (when I compare him to Mr. Crouch...!) (Voldemort curses him and he starts dancing the Macarena)
Cedric: I could've won the Triwizard Tournament, it's true! Instead I died without a clue!
Everyone: Should we blame the Portkey? Should we blame the Goblet of Fire? Or the Death-Eater who allowed him to expire?
Malfoy: Heck no! (He's better off dead...hehe)
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Blame Voldemort!
Harry: With all his Dark Arts hubbabaloo!
Hermione: And that bitch Nagini too!
Everyone: Blame Voldemort! Shame on Voldemort!
Lily: The wizard we must stop...
James: 'Til our wands break and flop!
Hermione: Homework and sports...
Ron: And sweets of all sorts! (Harry: Huh?)
Harry: We must end this song and let Ron cuss!
Ron: Before someone thinks of @&^#$& flaming us!
The end note: First off, I KNOW Wormtail's lines make no sense...anyway, "kiss my tail" is supposed to be the equivalent of "kiss my @$$". Now starting from the beginning...now, why would Ron curse? We know that in the chapter titled "The Dark Mark" (Goblet of Fire), Ron said something "he would never have dared say in front of Mrs. Weasley". Then Malfoy replies, "Language, Weasley." So he was probably swearing. Why would Voldie's head be filled with flies? Think of the Hogwarts song: "Our HEADS could do some filling with some interesting stuff, for now they're bare and full of air, dead FLIES and bits of fluff." Oh yeah, when Malfoy says "He's better off dead...hehe," that's HIS thoughts, and not one of my quirky wisecracks ;) That's it, tell me if there's something I should explain.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, the quotes from the book, and all other related material is property of J.K. Rowling (^_^) "Blame Canada" is owned by whoever owns South Park (Comedy Central?) And the Macarena is owned by...uh, whoever owns it (I'm not sure) And whatever else I might have forgot...please don't sue me!!!