I couldn't help it. I had to write this for Dissidia. Okay, this is what happens when you have a hungry Bartz looking for a way to head to his favorite pizza shop…As usual, I own nothing.

-miano53

Bartz's Failed Escapade

Training Facility, two miles north of Order's Sanctuary…

Bartz, who was with the other Warriors of Cosmos, lied on the ground in hunger. The reason for that was that Warrior had a new training regimen for each of the Warriors. They were not to eat any junk food, favorite foods or even the occasional snack or two during the day. They were only to eat healthy foods such as vegetables, fruits and protein shakes. They were to do that for the next month, to "clean out their systems of any impurities" as Warrior would say.

Needless to say, Bartz was starving and it was only the second day. Zidane saw this and jumped down from the rafters. "What's wrong, buddy?" he asked.

"Need…food…" Bartz said.

"Well, we got a few carrots and…" Zidane said.

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT! I want real food, like pizza or even cake!" Bartz yelled.

Bartz then looked at Zidane and asked, "How can you not be going crazy?"

"Well, I ate those bananas and I feel fine," Zidane said.

Warrior then saw the two and said, "Get back to your training. We have to stay on our toes if we want to defeat the Warriors of Chaos."

"Yes sir," the two said and went back to train.

Two hours later, after lunch…

Bartz, who had a disgusted look on his face after drinking the protein shakes, plopped on the couch and muttered, "I gotta get outta here."

He then rushed for the elevator and pressed the button to head to the first floor. The sound of the elevator coming up was heard and Bartz was extremely happy to see that no one was on it. So, he hopped on and pressed for the first floor.

When he had arrived, Cloud and Squall was about to get on. "Where are you going?" Cloud asked him.

"Um…well," Bartz said.

"You're trying to get some pizza," Squall said.

Bartz was about to take off when both Squall and Cloud grabbed his arms, preventing his escape. "No! I DON'T WANNA DRINK MORE OF THOSE PROTEIN SHAKES!" Bartz screamed as the elevator headed back up to the gym…

After trying to escape vertically, Bartz thought of going the horizontal route: hiding in a gym bag (don't ask). He thought he was in the clear, but he didn't know that the bag that he was hiding in was Cecil's. After hearing that Cecil was in the elevator, Bartz asked, "Can you press 'lobby' please?"

Cecil, terrified as he thought a poltergeist was in his bag, screamed, "YE-EEE-AAH-SSS!"

Cecil then took a nearby fire extinguisher and started hitting the bag with it. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Bartz screamed.

Bartz then opened up the bag on the fourth hit and yelled, "Cecil, why are you hitting me?"

"I thought you were a zombie or a poltergeist coming back to life in my bag!" Cecil said, holding onto the fire extinguisher for dear life.

Bartz thought about it and yelled, "Then why were you hitting me?"

Cecil's reasoning for it was, "Dead people should be dead."

When the elevator reached the first floor, Terra saw him and said, "There you are. C'mon, Warrior wants us to make more salad."

"Terra, no. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm sick," Bartz lied as Terra dragged him to the kitchen. Cecil passed out in the elevator due to overwhelming fear. Sadly, the poor guy was stuck there for hours before anyone realized he was missing…

Short but funny. Review?