Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own The Mighty Boosh. If I did, Howard Moon would be naked in series two and three... but not one. He is far too dashing in his Zooniverse uniform.

Summery: Vince is bored of everything being normal with Howard so he just has to annoy the hell out of him for fun. And it really turns out to be fun. Howard and Vince fluff. Dont like? Dont read.

Maybe there was something wrong with the way things had been lately. Maybe Vince had just become to content with how he and Howard had been acting towards one another. See, for the last week or so, there had been no fighting, no arguing, no bickering over stationary village. So was that why he was acting the way he was?

"H'ward? H'ward? Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard? Howard …" Vince continued, determined to get Howard to respond. Instead, the jazz maverick, the great man-of-action just poured himself into another issue of The Global Explorer. It was taking everything he had not to shout at the smaller man.

"Howard? Howard? Howard! Please, its important!" Vince whined, watching the other man's brows crease together in frustration.

"What? What is it, now? What could possible be so important that you need my attention yet again?!" His voice came out harsher that he would have liked but it got his point across quite nicely. Vince was rather take aback. "What, Vince? Want to know why books open to the left and not the right? Or would you preferably know which stooge wore a wig? I don't know, Vince! I don't have the answer to everything, you tit!"

Vince couldn't stop the corners of his mouth tug into a cheeky smile. He finally gotten through Howard's calm demeanor. "Actually, I was going to tell you something. Something important!" Howard let out a bit of a scoff. Vince, telling him, the great Howard Moon, something important.

"Well go on then. We don't have all day, sir," Howard's didn't change.

"Know what? Never mind, really isn't that important." The juicy dangler strikes again. He could almost see the vein in Howard's forehead throb. This was beginning to become too fun. To Vince only, of course. To Howard, it was a nightmare. Every time Vince did this, whether it be with gossip or one of his childhood stories, it sent Howard into a curious fury.

"Come on then. You know you cant do that!" Howard's tone shifted completely. He hated being left out like this. Vince turned so his best mate couldn't make out the brash grin nearly seared into his face. Vince shrugged his shoulders.

For the rest of the day, Vince pretended to sulk in his favorite chair by the window while Howard pretended to take stock. It was eating away the edges of Howard's mind. What had been so important? Why wouldn't Vince just give it up already? Ugh!

Vince slipped up stairs as Howard finished closing up shop. He couldn't hold back the giggles any longer. Howard was too easy. He thought about how he could deepen the situation before an idea struck him. "Genius…" he whispered to himself.

"No, no, Neville, you've got it all wrong! She was interested in Howard, not me! I know! It was… Oh, yeah, he just walked in the room," Vince faked the phone call as Howard walked enter their flat, "Yeah, I gotta knick off for a while."

"What was that?" Howard immediately asked, his tiny eyes shifting about the room.

"Nuffin'." It was a lie. It truly was nothing. His cellar was even charged. There wasn't any conversation. Howard glared him down.

"I heard my name!" Howard pointed out.

"No you didn't," Vince remarked casually, plopping himself down on the sofa. It was quiet, Naboo and his familiar where gone – It was Tuesday, Bollo's night for DJ-ing.

"You were talking about a girl, sir. Who is it? Does she like jazz?" Howard began to straighten his shirt and hair as if she was going to come waltzing into the room any minute. Vince's stomach dropped. Girls, jazz, girls. That's all Howard cared about.

"I told you Howard: its not a big deal." His voice was meant to be more cocky, in a more "Nah nah nah, I know something you don't know" kind of tone. Obviously, it hadn't been received like that as Howard's harsh gaze instantly softened.

"What's this all about, little man?" God, how Vince hated when Howard stared at him like that. He looked so sad and caring. It was sickening … and yet it was perfect.

"You'll get mad." Vince mumbled into a pillow cushion he pulled to his chest. He gazed up to see Howard, shrimp eyes shut, head shaking from side to side.

"I wont get mad," Howard finally said, a smile as big as his eyes playing on his lips. Only Howard could make such a small smile feel so warm. The man from Leeds sat down beside Vince and gave him a gentle nudge on the shoulder, "Go on. What was so important?"

"Well," Vince really hadn't thought of what to say. He didn't have any important news except maybe that Robots In Disguise were coming to Dalston. Howard wouldn't find that so important. If anything, he'd call him an electro poof and not speak to him for the rest of the night. Vince didn't want that.

"Well what?" Howard asked after a few moments of silence.

"I like your moustache." Vince blurted out. Howard sat there stunned as Vince fiddled with the tips of his beautiful mane, something he rarely did as it would "Cause split-ends". He waited for Howard's angry words.

"Really?" Not what Vince had expected. "Well, thank you, sir." Howard gave him a longing look that told Vince that he didn't believe him but he wouldn't push the subject. Howard got up and headed towards the stove to put the kettle on. Vince simply pulled his knees to his chest and cuddled the pillow. Why was he so easy to read? Was it because he and Howard had always been together? Then again, his moustache lie hadn't been a good one.

A few minutes later, Howard sat a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of Vince, "Extra sugar," he mumbled and Vince smiled against the pillow. Howard switched on the television and they watched Pie Face Showcase in silence. As what happened every time he and Howard watched television together, Vince inched closer and closer to the other man until he was leaning on his shoulder, Howard's arm draped around him. Howard's hands would causally brush Vince's hair.

It was the only time Vince was allowed to touch Howard. It was the only time Howard was allowed to touch Vince's hair.

After Pie Face was over, both men changed into their night clothes. It was ten, the time Howard usually crawled into bed and Vince ventured out into the night.

"Stay in tonight?" Howard asked casually, secretly worrying over his younger counterpart. Vince shrugged. His extra surgery tea had made him sleepy, if not somewhat sad. It reminded him of the Zooniverse. He missed staying up late and talking into the wee hours of the morning.

"Howard?" Vince muttered, almost too quiet for Howard to hear. Howard looked up at Vince, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Do you … do you think we could share a bed? Like old times? I know that was a sleeping bag but …" his sentence trailed off.

"Sure," it was Howard's turn to be quiet. Vince gave him a thankful smile before climbing into bed with him. He wrapped his arms around Howard, unsure of how the other man would react. Howard just pulled the covers higher, a pink blush showing on his cheeks.

It wasn't long before Howard was sound asleep. His snores echoed in the room they shared and Vince smiled. Just like old times. Vince couldn't help but think about all the fun times he and Howard had had. The tundra, the crimp-off, the deserted island. Sure, all those times they're lives were in danger but still, they were fun because they had each other. Vince didn't know how many they had saved each other – not because he couldn't recall the numerous occasions but because he really wasn't good with numbers at all.

"H'ward? Howard? Howard?" Vince whispered, nudging his bunk mate. Howard groaned in response. "Are the black bits in bananas tarantula eggs?" he let out a chuckle after he asked the question. Howard responded with his own bit of a laugh.

"Howard? Do you think I'm pretty?" It just spilled out. Howard shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, yeah. You're beautiful."

"Really? Pretty than that girl at your party last month?" He pushed.

"Yeah. A lot, sir. Plus you're not quiet the dullard she was."

"What happened between you two, anyway?" He didn't want to hear the answer. He didn't want to know that Howard wasn't a virgin anymore … Wait, what? No, no. he did want to hear that his best mate was no longer a virgin … right?

"We kissed. Quiet a bit actually. That was nice. But then she … Never mind," Vince felt Howard shift again.

"Who's the juicy dangler now?" Vince cuddled closer and Howard relaxed a bit. "Did she say something about jazz? Run off with another guy? Wear her shoes in the bouncy castle?" Vince kept tossing out reasons, much to Howard's annoyance.

"No! I couldn't go any further because she wasn't you! I mean," Vince couldn't see it but he knew Howard was blushing. The littler man was blushing too. "I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. It wasn't … You see … Sir …"

"I love you."

It was rushed but the words were clear. It was true. Vince loved Howard. He always had in some sort of way. Only recently had it been as more than his life-long best mate. He knew things wouldn't be the same with Howard now but it had to be said. He liked him. Loved him. Wanted to be with him.

Howard hadn't responded just yet. It was dark and he couldn't see his larger friend's face. God the silence was earsplitting. He couldn't stand it.

"Howard? Howard? Howard?" Vince repeated for what seemed like the millionth time that night. He was starting to annoy himself. Howard shifted again, pulling away from Vince. So that was it then. The cockney felt the tears form in his eyes. This was it. It was over. "Sorry." was all he could manage to get out.

It was soft, just a brush, but was electrifying. Vince could feel the tear flow free as lips touched his own, a bit of hair brushing against his skin. It tickled. He could make out Howard's body shadowed in the darkness, hovering over his own body. As the lips left Vince's own, he released a small gasp.

"Sorry," Howard quickly remarked. He climbed off Vince and flicked on a desk lamp beside their bed. The larger man could see the tears that stained Vince's cheeks. "Oh! I'm sorry, I just thought … I mean! You said that you loved …"

"Its okay." Vince smiled, sitting up and wiping away the tears. He gave a small smile before replacing his lips on Howard's own. Without breaking the contact, he moved to sit on his lap. Howard wrapped his arms Vince's hips.

This was it. It was over. And Vince nor Howard couldn't have been happier.

End.

Possibly more to come. I really dont know. Depends on the reviews!