Two words never carried more meaning than the ones Matthew Buchanan uttered to his best friend before holding his hand out to her. "Then stay."
It was such a simple request, but Destiny found herself hesitating as her gaze shifted from Matthew's waiting hand to his eyes and back to his hand again. 'He just wants you to stay with him,'she attempted to reassure herself.
Matthew had just admitted something that would have sent a lesser person running scared, but not Destiny. If there was one word to describe Destiny Evans it was loyal. She would move heaven and earth for the people she loved and if you counted her as a friend, you had a friend for life. Yet there she was hesitant to respond to her best friend, aware of the deeper meaning his words carried; he was asking her to stay in his life and not abandon him; he was pleading with her not to let what he'd done change her opinion of him.
She looked at him once more and found her answer. The hopeful eyes staring expectantly at her were those of a confidant and a friend, not a cold-blooded killer. With an open heart, she put her faith and trust in him and placed her hand in his.
Saying nothing, he led her to his bedroom. The minute they step into his room he pushed out everything that had been weighing him down. Destiny had that kind of effect on him. Whenever he was with her he could forget his problems. He was able forget that people thought he was a loser. He was able to forget that he was paralyzed and even if just for a moment, he was able to forget that he was a murder.
Destiny lingered by the door studying Matthew's room with great interest, having only been in there briefly once before. It was the typical teenage boy's room. An oversized poster of bikini clad beach babes adorned the wall above his bed. A pile of clothes nested in a back corner and a stack of textbooks sat on his desk. Trophies and medals from the numerous sports he played filled an oak bookshelf near a large window.
While Destiny studied Matthew's room, he studied her. He knew it was wrong for his mind to be drifting to such lascivious places at a time like this, but he couldn't help it; in the two years since they had met, she had blossomed into a beautiful young woman. Everything about her turned him on, even though she wasn't the type of girl he'd made a fool of himself for countless times before. Though she was a petite girl, standing only a hair over five feet, she wasn't as she proudly proclaimed, living on licorice and laxatives. He wasn't sure if like he liked her because of or in spite of that. He'd stopped trying to understand the magnetic pull they shared. He was resigned to letting things progress naturally, though at times like these he wasn't above helping move things along.
He couldn't help himself. One look into her big brown eyes or at her sumptuous pout and he was consumed by the desire to kiss her. And that's exactly what he did, on more than one occasion. Of course he'd immediately pull back, leaving Destiny confused and hurt. He had been just as confused as she was, until that night. He wanted to take the next step with Destiny because friends hadn't adequately described their relationship for quite some time. It wasn't like they could go back to that even if they wanted to. Not after everything they had been through. Not after everything they had shared. Now if only he could find some way to articulate that.
'Hey idiot, you just told your best friend that you killed someone. Do you really think the next words out of your mouth should be: Oh btw I just wanted you to know that I like you…in 'that' way?' He reasoned with himself. He knew the timing couldn't possibly be worse, but time was something he wasn't sure he had much of. It was now or never, especially with Blanca Morales on his tail. 'Now or never Matt.' He cleared his throat loudly before he spoke. "Are you going to stand there all night?"
"Huh-what?" A startled Destiny asked.
"There's plenty of room next to me… unless you'd rather not get too close."
Destiny's heart sank at his remark. "Why would you say something like that? Is it because of what you told me?"
Matthew sighed in frustration. The self loathing he'd managed to force down was pushing back. "I don't know, maybe."
"Matthew you know me. If I was freaked out I wouldn't be here."
"I'm sorry, I'm just being silly."
"You're not silly, but you are a slob. I'm shocked Matthew," Destiny teased, trying to lift his spirits.
He blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry about the mess. I wasn't expecting company."
Destiny felt bad that he was taking her ribbing so seriously. "I'm just kidding, lighten up okay?" She sat down next to him on the edge of his bed. "I didn't stay to rag on you."
"Why did you stay?"He knew the question was lame segue into the conversation he wanted to have, but it was all he could think of.
Destiny tried not to let the fact that Matthew's voice suddenly dropped two octaves unnerve her. "I stayed because you asked me to. Plus I could tell you needed me."
It was times like this that Matthew was glad Destiny knew him so well; she always knew what he needed even before he did. He had to fight the urge to throw his arms around her and hug her.
"You sure you're okay?" Destiny asking sensing uneasiness in Matthew. "If you need to talk some more I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm fine. I don't want to think about Eddie right now."
"Well if it isn't Eddie Ford then what is it? Something is on your mind so spill it." Destiny placed her hand on his and he flinched uncomfortably.
Desperate to put some space between them, he rose from the bed. He turned away from Destiny and ran his fingers though his chocolate tresses as he tried to cool himself down. It was working until he felt her petite frame press up against his back.
Standing on tipped-toes, she slipped her arms around Matthew's waist and rested her chin on his shoulder.
It was an innocent gesture, but it instantly unraveled him. He had only wanted to talk, but his body had other things in mind. Her cheek brushing up against wasn't helping matters either.
"I hate seeing you like this Matthew," Destiny lamented. "Everything is going to be okay. You have to believe that."
Matthew pulled her hands off his waist then turned to face her. "It's not that Des—it's you," he rasped. He was sure that sounded better in his head. This was not going the way he had planned.
Wide-eyed and more than a little confused she asked, "Me? Is it because I kissed you earlier—"
Matthew watched her mouth move, but he couldn't hear a thing over his pounding heart.
She was beautiful and she cared about him. She was the only girl who ever did, even when she had every right not too. But she was there and they were alone. He found himself staring at her with the same hunger he had earlier. Unable to control himself, he leaned down and kissed her.
Destiny was visibly shaken when Matthew finally relinquished his hold on her lips. "Why did you do that?"
"I don't know," Matthew responded, unable to adequately explain the power she wielded over him.
"You don't know?"
"I like kissing you," Matthew confessed as the words now or never played on loop in his head. "I like how kissing you makes me feel. I like how being with you makes me feel"
"Well we can't keep doing this because—"
Matthew put his finger on Destiny's lips to silence her. "I feel like we're the only two people in the world when we're together. Don't you?"
Destiny nodded yes.
"You like kissing me don't you?"
She nodded positively once more.
Matthew removed his finger from her mouth and smiled wryly. "So let's not deny ourselves."
Destiny nervously chewed her lip as she mulled over his comment. "What are you saying Matthew?"
"I—I don't know. I don't know anything anymore Des. I don't know what Blanca is going to do and even if she does nothing, I don't know what's going to happen to me."
"I don't want to think about that Matthew."
"I don't either."
"Then don't."
Matthew closed the space between them, cupping Destiny's face in the process. She smiled up at him as he leaned down and kissed her. Instinctively, they walked backwards towards his bed and fell on it, their lips fused together the whole time. Matthew kissed Destiny with an intensity he didn't know he was capable of, but judging by Destiny's response he was doing something right.
Destiny's breath hitched in her throat when she felt Matthew's growing hardness against her center as he positioned himself between her legs. 'Is this really happening?' She asked herself. She had thought about what it would be like to be with Matthew plenty of times before, but she pushed that out of her mind months ago. She'd given up on the idea of them, but there she was in his bed with his hands roaming all over her body.
The sensation of Matthew's tongue gliding across her neck pulled her back into the present. At the same time Matthew's mind shouted slow down as his hands traveled up Destiny's waist, but his heart and body had other plans. They knew they should stop before they did something they might regret, but neither could break free from the lust that had captured them.
"Are you sure?" Matthew asked in a gruff tone.
"Yes," she replied breathlessly in response.
With that he removed her purple jacket and everything began moving at warp speed. A small hill of discarded clothing took shape at the foot of Matthew's bed and heat danced between their bare skin. A rapid fire of thoughts flooded Matthew's mind as he connected with Destiny in a way that he hadn't with any girl before.
For a moment Destiny thought she was dreaming, but Matthew's skin gliding across hers felt real; his fingers running through her braids felt real; the pain she felt was real. The smile permanently etched on his face and the joy that danced in his eyes was real. He was happy for the first time in a long time and so was she.
Suddenly everything fell into place; they weren't worried about the next day or even the next hour. All that mattered was what they were together giving all of themselves to each other.
It was perfect.
A few minutes later, Matthew lay on top of Destiny, his damp forehead pressed against her, his warm breath flowering over her lips. Panting, he rolled onto his back. He slipped his hand into hers and they lay motionless trying to make sense of what had just occurred between them. Silently they struggled to find an explanation, but came up with none.
Giving up on trying to makes sense of things, Matthew sat up, swinging his feet out of bed, and headed to the bathroom. He returned a minute later to find Destiny wincing in pain as she grabbed her clothes. He smiled at her halfheartedly barely masking his concern.
She smiled back then went to the bathroom to get dressed.
'I just lost my virginity...to my best friend—Holy crap, I had sex!' It was almost too much to process. Matthew was so caught up in thought that he didn't notice Destiny had returned from the bathroom. He tried to speak but he couldn't form the word to express his feelings. Luckily Destiny's cell phone offered a respite from the sure-to-be awkward conversation they needed to have.
Matthew looked on intently as she checked her voicemail.
"It's Shaun—I have to go."
"Oh... okay," Matthew said disquietly.'She's running away, stop her!Tell her how you feel! Tell her that she's more than a friend!'
"I'll umm—I'll see you later."
"Destiny, wait—Are we okay?"That wasn't what he wanted to say, but he figured they needed time to process things. He'd wait a few days then admit his feelings to her.
"Yeah," she said with a hint of uncertainty as regret start bubbling to the surface.
Matthew got up to walk Destiny to the front door, but she stopped him. "I'm fine Matthew. I can see myself out."
"I know, but—"
She walked over to him and gave him on peck on the lips. "I'm fine. We'll talk later."
With that she was gone and Matthew was left alone wondering how they'd gone from best friends to lovers over the course of one night and if Destiny knew that what they'd done had bonded them in a way that was unbreakable.