Summary: Set after Bella falls asleep in Twilight (Chapter 14 – Mind Over Matter), Edward's thoughts as he watches her sleep.
The house was quiet. Charlie had fallen asleep hours ago and now my Bella had also succumbed to sleep. I was left alone with my thoughts of our day in the meadow. As frustrating as it is to not be able to hear her thoughts, the silence is also a gift of sorts. Only with Bella do I have the peace to dwell only on my thoughts without other thoughts constantly intruding.
My beautiful Bella... I have never been happier or more content than I am in this moment. I should be scared at the intensity of my feelings for this fragile human, my love so complete and all-encompassing, and yet I have never felt such perfect joy, happiness and peace at the same time. Even her name, Bella, beautiful, fit her so perfectly. We fit together so perfectly: Edward and Bella, Bella and Edward, Edward's Bella, my Bella! My Life…
I leaned my head down and inhaled her fragrance. So sweet, so intoxicating. I close my eyes and think back to the meadow, our meadow now. I wanted her to see me as I really am. No more mask, no more pretenses, the real me. Part of me hoped that she would realize how dangerous I was and that she should run away. And even though it would have been so painful to see her reject me, I would have let her go…her safety means everything to me. But the greater part of me wanted nothing more than for her to accept who I am, to not see a century old dangerous vampire in the body of a seventeen year old boy, but to just see that seventeen year old boy who wants her to love him as much as he loves her. I wanted her to know that she is my life and that I belong to her as she belongs to me. My Bella.
My Bella. I can't believe how happy it makes me feel to say that. I will never tire of saying it, or thinking it for that matter. Not Mike's, not Tyler's or anyone else's, but my Bella.
I am still stunned. How could this wonderful, beautiful person pick me? I am a creature of the night. My world was dark with no color, no brightness, no meaning, every day a repetition of the preceding day. I've spent almost a century walking among vampires and humans both, always believing that I was meant to be alone with no need for anyone to "complete" me. Yet, deep inside I knew that there should be something more, a longing for what I did not know. And then she bursts into my life and suddenly I see color and light, brightness and warmth and everything that is good, all in this small, delicate angel. And that unknown longing was gone, because I had had found the other half of my self. She has brought sun into my night, has given meaning to each and every one of my days now. I look forward to each new day because it's another day that I get to love my Bella, be with my Bella, cherish and protect my Bella. Everything about her draws me like a moth to a flame. I'm helpless to resist, caught in her spell.
I feel Bella shift slightly in my arms. At first I think that perhaps she is starting to feel the coldness of my body. Just as I start to pull away she pulls herself closer and snuggles into my chest, squeezing her arms tighter around me and softly murmurs my name, Edward. The surge of tenderness I feel towards her is staggering. She molds her soft body to mine and we fit so perfectly. I pull her in closer, marveling at how she wants my touch, my cold embrace. Just as I desire her touch and her warm embrace. Fire and ice. I softly run my hand over her hair and I hear her heartbeat accelerate as she again murmurs my name and then, I love you Edward. Yes, I love you too, my Bella, my love, my life.
There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, to make her happy, to keep her safe. Please let me be worthy of her love. She is my Bella. She is my life.
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