Author's Note: So, I love the relationship between Carlisle and Edward. When I listen to the song, "Wind Beneath My Wings," I usually get all teary-eyed and such (because I'm so freaking sensitive), and I think the song works for them.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. There was no other way to say it.
"I'm just glad you came home, Edward."
Carlisle was always like that. Any bad deed would be forgotten the moment the apology was out. I had broken his unbeating heart. I abandoned him for so long, leaving him alone and unhappy. I had called him terrible names, condemning him for the life he gave me.
The love he gave me.
He should have locked me out of his home. He should have told me to go to hell, but he wouldn't. I knew, right from the beginning, that whatever I did would be forgiven. I wanted him to make me cry. I didn't deserve his compassion.
"I left," I said simply.
Every word I said sounded pitiful.
Carlisle nodded slowly. "Yes, you did."
"You should hate me."
He smiled slightly. "Maybe so."
I finally looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time in months. As I stared into his eyes, I knew he saw the difference. His bright golden eyes were so different from my dark red ones.
He was looking at a man who had become a monster.
I bit my lip, shaking my head. "I'm sorry," I mouthed, unable to speak.
Carlisle took a deep breath and walked into the living room. He sat down on the white sofa and motioned for me to join him. Slowly, I made my way to the sofa. I waited for him to speak.
"I just want to know why you left," he said.
He did not sound particularly angry or upset. He merely sounded curious, as if he wanted to know the time.
His nonchalance only made it harder for me to answer.
"I was mad."
Carlisle nodded. "Care to elaborate?"
I looked down at my bare feet, feeling unworthy of sitting in his presence. I wondered how I could have ever seen anything wrong with the life I'd had. Carlisle was selfless and kind and intelligent and, unlike me, he was certainly not a murderer.
I shrugged. What was there to say?
"I was stupid."
"Edward," said Carlisle, raising an eyebrow. He was losing patience with me.
"I don't know." To my horror, I realized that I was on the verge of a breakdown. I took a deep breath, swallowing the lump in my throat painfully.
I didn't want to cry.
"I don't know what happened to me." It was all sounding so stupid now. The thought of running away from the only person I had left. The man that had given up everything for me. The man who had saved me from the horrible, gruesome, early death that I would have had.
Not that I'd had anything left to live for before he took me in. I'd already lost my parents and my will to survive.
"It was stupid."
Yes, it was incredibly silly. I had spent most of my teenage human years focusing on enlisting in the war. My teenage rebellion must have begun the day I left Carlisle. Stupidly.
"We all make mistakes, Edward," he said kindly. I didn't deserve his kindness.
"Humans make mistakes," I corrected. "We're not humans, Carlisle."
"The same rule applies," said Carlisle, sounding rather amused by my objection.
"You don't make mistakes."
I wanted to take it back right after I'd said it. I felt like a little boy still under the impression that grown-ups knew everything. It sounded childish. My mother—may she rest in peace—would have called it adorable.
But when I saw how happy it had made him, I grudgingly let the sentence hang in the air.
"I make plenty of mistakes, Edward," he said.
But I could tell I'd flattered him more than he'd ever been flattered before.
"I don't remember one," I said.
Carlisle chuckled. "I've been around for a long time, Edward."
I shrugged. I wasn't sure how to say the words that I really needed to say.
"Look, I know that you forgive me," I said. "I just…I don't know why. I've killed people."
Carlisle wasn't fazed. "You're a vampire."
"But that's not why I killed them," I said insistently. My hands were shaking as I tried to explain. "I wasn't thirsty. I wasn't desperate. I could have come home…and hunted with you. I could have… I didn't make mistakes! I wasn't overwhelmed by anyone's scent. I could have stopped myself, but I didn't."
"Edward," said Carlisle softly.
But I ignored him. I knew that I had started crying, and I didn't want him to calm me down.
I deserved to cry. I deserved hatred.
"I know you believe in forgiveness and all that, but how can you forgive me for killing just to kill? I didn't try to control myself."
"You're sorry," he said. "That's why I forgive you."
"Killing has got to be up there on the sin list."
Carlisle smiled. "If you're sorry, you'll be forgiven. That's the way it goes around here."
I was silent. There was nothing else to say about it. I knew that I'd never be able to forgive myself for the things I'd done.
I took away so many lives.
I smiled for him, pretending I was okay. Maybe one day I really would be. Still, I was home for good.
With my best friend.
My father.
My hero.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot. :). Please review.
Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.
So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.
Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.