A. /N: I do not own Naruto or the song "If I were Gay". They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Stephen Lynch. (If I owned Naruto, there would be some pretty crazy stuff goin' on! ; )
IF I WERE GAY!
Here we are, dear old friend
You and I drunk again
Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head…
BUT IF I WERE GAY, I WOULD GIVE YOU MY HEART.
AND IF I WERE GAY, YOU'D BE MY WORK OF ART.
AND IF I WERE GAY, WE WOULD SWIM IN ROMANCE.
But I'm not gay, so get your hand out of my pants.
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One night, my friend Naruto and I went out to get some sake. We were at the bar and we were really drunk. You know what the say about alcohol and how it makes people look better? Well, it's true! And I was thinking: "Naruto, if I were gay…"
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It's not that I don't care, I do
I just don't see myself in you
Another time, another scene,
I'd be right behind you, if you know what I mean!
AND IF I WERE GAY, I WOULD GIVE YOU MY WHOLE…BEING.
AND IF I WERE GAY, WE WOULD TEAR DOWN THE WALLS.
But I'm not gay, so won't you stop cupping my…hand!
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It's not that I never have these weird urges; I just don't want to risk my reputation. If society accepted gays, I'd be all over you like leaves on a tree!
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We've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate with your fist
You have opened brand new doors
GET OVER HERE AND DROP YOUR DRAWERS!
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We've never had "relations", but I'm not holding back now. GET YOU'RE A** OVER HERE SO I CAN SHOW YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL!