This isn't really my most polished work, but it's kind of a background for what Joe might be thinking during his argument with Amanda in my other fic, Family Bonds. It's not necessary to read that to understand this one, but I'm hoping this will provide a little insight and amusement for those of you who have.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Any opinions stated by the characters reflect their own prejudice, not mine. Also, everything you recognize belongs to WB, Shoot the Moon, etc.

Timeframe: Set shortly after The Wrong Way Home

Joe King walked cheerfully through the halls of the Emergency Aid Organization headquarters in Washington, D.C. It was good to be home; as satisfying as his work in Estoccia was, he hadn't realized how much he'd missed his family. Being in America had its perks, too – air conditioning, good Colombian coffee, even clean water straight from the tap.

His coworkers, too, were something he appreciated more now that he'd been away. A lot had changed over the years he'd been gone, but Bev and George liked to gossip as much as ever.

Joe entered the break room to see his two friends relaxing over coffee and a sandwich.

"Joseph King!" Bev's boisterous tone echoed into the hall. "I'd heard you were back – it sure took you long enough to come find us! You got back to the States what, two weeks ago?"

"Bev! George! It's so good to see you two. What's been happening in D. C. while I've been away?"

George waved a dismissive hand. "Nothing nearly as exciting as the story you're about to tell us. I hear you had Feds on your tail last week!"

Joe groaned. That was not an experience he really wanted to relive…his days as an international fugitive, short-lived though they had been, were a…less than pleasant memory.

Except, of course, for the time he'd spent with Amanda. It had been wonderful to feel close to her again, like they had been all those years ago. She'd stood up for him, just like always, and it felt good to have her on his side again.

Reluctantly, Joe retold the past months' events to his friends – everything from the fabricated assassination of the Prime Minister to the embezzlement of funds that had turned out to be traceable back to the EAO's own Byron Foster. George and Bev gasped in all the right places, and it was a good feeling to have the two biggest gossips in D.C. on the edge of their seats.

"It's a good thing my wife has a good head on her shoulders," he concluded, "and that fed Stetson listened to her. Otherwise, I shudder to think what might have happened to our boys."

"Stetson?" George asked curiously. "Lee Stetson?"

Joe shrugged. "Yeah – why? You know him?"

George laughed. "Know him? He's practically a legend. You know how my department coordinates fundraisers? Well, whenever we have visiting dignitaries, the Agency provides security. Let me tell you, Lee Stetson is one of the best."

"Yeah, I saw that," Joe said darkly. "He seemed awfully fond of Amanda."

Bev tittered.

"I meant, he's good at his job," George replied.

"Oh, come now, George – you've told me enough times how Stetson is with the ladies," Bev interjected. "I'm not surprised – that ex-wife of yours is a pretty thing, Joe."

Joe clenched his jaw.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, Joe," George replied, his tone pacifying. "Apparently he's having an affair with his partner – it's been almost a year since he's been on the prowl."

"His partner!" Bev looked appalled. "You mean he's…queer? But you said he seemed like such a nice young man."

George shook his head. "No, his partner's a woman. Mrs.… Mrs.… ah, I can't remember. I never met her; she was only mentioned in passing."

"Mrs.?" It was Joe's turn to be shocked. "You mean he's having an affair with a married woman?" He gave an incredulous laugh. "Well, I guess it takes all kinds. He seemed so…normal. Well, as normal as a spook ever is, anyway. He seemed so…mysterious all the time."

"Yeah," George laughed. "They all do that. Goes with the territory. I haven't met one yet who wasn't evasive and secretive. And you can look them right in the eye and still have no idea what they're thinking. I'd hate to have a spy for a poker buddy."

"Yeah," Joe agreed wholeheartedly, glad his Amanda wasn't likely to have any further contact with Stetson.

They were sitting comfortably in the booth at Dooley's. Joe had asked Amanda to lunch, with the intent of discussing the boys – but, he had to admit to himself, he had an ulterior motive. Ever since he'd returned a couple months ago, his ex-wife had seemed so…exotic and mysterious. And even though he'd been casually seeing a very nice woman he'd met at the office, he couldn't keep himself away from this beautiful creature he'd left behind so long ago.

Amanda was going on cheerily about something to do with her clothes dryer. "And then it just stopped! Lee said he didn't think –"

Joe's attention was immediately caught. "Wait. Lee?"

"Yes," Amanda continued blithely. Joe could read nothing in her face. "You remember – Lee Stetson, from a couple of months ago. He saved our children, in case you've forgotten."

Joe blinked at her matter-of-fact tone and neutral expression. "So…you've been keeping in touch, then?" He could hear the blatant jealousy in his own voice, and cringed at how obvious he sounded.

Amanda paused a moment as if carefully weighing her words. "Keeping in touch isn't exactly what I'd call it," she said slowly after a minute of silence. "I suppose you should know – after all, at least you know enough to keep a secret."

"A secret?" Joe asked incredulously. What had his Amanda gotten herself into?

"Well, it seems the Agency was…impressed with my instincts. They…hired me on, as a helper of sorts."

Joe breathed a sigh of relief. "So you're not…seeing Stetson?"

Amanda gave a short, breathless laugh. "Oh, no, nothing like that."

"Good," Joe said decisively. "Because I've heard things about him…"

"I'm sure you have," Amanda replied placidly.

"Amanda? Joe?" a voice interrupted them. "Oh my goodness, it is you!"

Joe stood to greet the newcomer. "Catherine! My gosh, it's been ages! How have you been?"

The short blonde woman grinned. "It's just such a coincidence to run into you two after all these years. And here, of all places!" She hugged Joe cheerfully, and all but pulled Amanda out of her seat to bestow the same treatment on her. "So, did you two ever…you know…tie the knot?

Amanda was fuming. As Joe was chattering on with Catherine, he had gradually turned his back on Amanda, effectively shutting her out of the conversation. And it wasn't as though Joe knew the woman better than she did – in fact, Catherine had been Amanda's roommate for nearly a year.

He wasn't flirting, either. Amanda knew what that looked like, and this wasn't it. So she couldn't even dismiss his behaviour that way.

Now that she thought about it, he'd done the same thing back in his old dorm when Lee had walked in – blocked her from the conversation by turning his back. The worst part was, he didn't even seem to mean to – his easy dismissal of her presence was entirely subconscious and automatic.

How many times had he done that during their marriage? She had never noticed it before – looking back, she supposed she hadn't known any differently – but thinking back, she knew it had happened before. It must have been a regular occurrence, too, for it to be so natural to him.

How could she not have noticed? Ten years she'd been married to the man, and not once had she seen how often she came in second. Hindsight was 20/20, they always said. Now that she had Lee – who, for all the ways he infuriated her, now always treated her as equally important, if not equally competent – the disregard Joe showed her was all the more obvious.

She sighed and tapped Joe on the shoulder, a storm brewing in her eyes. "I have to get back to the office, Joe. I'll talk to you next time you come to see the boys. Catherine, it was great to see you – I just wish we could have spent some time catching up. Give me a call sometime – Joe, will you give her my number?" And without further comment, Amanda spun and left the pub.

If she hadn't known it before, she certainly knew it now – there was no way on this earth she would consider getting back together with Joe King. Amanda had gotten used to putting herself first – after the boys, of course – and she wasn't about to put her life on hold for anyone.

Not her mother, not Lee Stetson, and certainly not Joe King.

His Amanda had become an enigma, Joe realized. Her face used to be an open book – they'd both been young, idealistic, and completely guileless. Joe had grown up quickly, seeing the horrors of Africa and the corruption of America, even in his own beloved EAO. But he'd assumed that, raising a family in the suburbs, doing charity and PTA work, Amanda would always have a little in her of the sweet, open girl he'd married.

And she did – but that's all there was: a little. Talk of her life over the past few years centred around their sons, and her answers about her own activities were vague at best.

Joe could never read a thing in her face anymore. Partly, he supposed, it was because he'd been away from her for so long, lost touch with her particular nuances. But there was more to it than that. Laughingly, he recalled a few incidents back in college when Amanda had told stories to keep her mother in the dark about something or another.

Amanda West couldn't lie worth spit. Her face gave her away every time.

But Amanda King, whoever she was now…suffice it to say, Joe sure wouldn't want to play her in a high-stakes poker game.

A memory surfaced at the throwaway thought. Hadn't George said that very same thing…about spooks and poker?

He shook off the idea. Amanda had only just started at the Agency, and she was just a secretary or something. Surely it didn't happen that fast. Besides, she'd been a mystery since he'd first returned home. Like he'd told her that first day at Dooley's – she wasn't the same woman he'd left behind.

And, God help him, but he couldn't help himself. Carrie was a nice woman…but he was drawn to Amanda in a way he never had been before. And the worst of it was…

He didn't think there was any chance he'd get her back.

So, let me know what you think! Do you feel sorry for Joe? Or do you think he's just an idiot who didn't know what he had til he lost it?

Thanks for reading!