This is my first songfic ever written, so please be kind :P
When I bought the Katzenjammer cd, it didn't take long before I could think of no one else but our puppies, hearing these songs! I recommend youtube to check out the original version.
I hope you like it, please let me know!
Of course I do not own any rights. :-(.
Beta: Shout in a Whisper (Thank you sooo much!)
Summary: After Sirius fell through the veil and the order returns to Grimmauld Place 12 one last time, Remus does not feel like sharing his grief with the others.
He goes up to Sirius' old room to recall to better memories..
Song: Katzenjammer – Virginia Clemm
Empty, that was the word. Quiet. They had returned to the headquarters, one last time, and all was quiet and empty. His spirit no longer made the place he hated so much into a smile. His cheerful character would no longer brighten it up.
Remus left the kitchen and all the tears in there. It was not the way he wanted to be reminded of him… So he went upstairs, until his fingers met that name, carved into a wooden door.
Sirius Black.
He opened it and couldn't help but smile at al the reminders of the rebel he once was.
…
He was a child, I was a child
Sentimental and wild
Now we're resting
Now we're resting
The bed shrieked under his weight as he sat down. His eye got caught by the flaming colours of the Gryffindor banner. Oh God.
Do you remember when we were young?
Of course Sirius couldn't hear him, but it just felt as if he should. One last conversation.
Children. Our first years at Hogwarts. Sentimental and wild. Depending on which time of the month it was, one of us would be a little bit more sentimental or wild than the other. Although, you wouldn't admit it... but sentimental could've been your middle name.
He smiled and patted the blankets; they weren't even dusty.
Those times are gone. We're old men now. Resting.
…
For twelve short years
We lived out of health
And of prosperous wealth
Oh my dearest
Oh my dearest
Wasn't it a miracle how we became friends?He shifted a bit. He couldn't help the tears escaping his eyes.God, he didn't want to cry.It felt as if even his inner voice was trembling with grief.
I doubt there were ever two people at Hogwarts so different. Your ever healthy sparkle, so unharmed, so pure. Me, damaged and skinny. You, rich, wealthy and so incredibly sophisticated. Me. Shabby, poor, garbage. Yes, it was weird. Two people so different, somehow managed to develop a friendship. To grow inlove. Twelve years we lived in happiness, in luck. How short twelve years turned out to be.
…
My only portrait to remind you
My wine on your old cloak
My voice sustained in our piano
Comme les carillons
De notre nuit de noces
He dug down in his pocket and pulled out an old picture. It was Sirius at James' and Lily's wedding. It's the only picture I have left of you without anyone else. Just you. God, look how gorgeous you were. Are. Were. You could just as well say it was you getting married.
Remus cleared his throat. 'Do you remember?' His voice as if he hadn't spoken in ages. But somehow he felt the urge to say this out loud. One more time. Or maybe the first time. 'How you came on to me, after the feast? God were you beautiful. And I was so young and nervous. My hands were trembling so much that I knocked over my glass of wine. I couldn't believe someone like you… But you were. And you did. All the excuses I tried got drowned out by your mouth. By my hands as they leaned on the piano, making one hell of a sound. You laughed. We laughed. We took off to my apartment. And when the wedding bells rang that night, it wasn't just for James and Lily.
…
Heir of my illness,
Writer of all the stories and the words
That I'm haunting
That I'm haunting
'So many promises were made,' His voice got stuck in his throat. 'You. You could live with my problems. Every time you touched me, it was as if-'
As if youwrote words of trust and love on my skin. I can still feel them.
The bed shrieked once more as he stood up and walked around the room. His fingers sliding past the walls, the desk, the posters. If they could talk.
'Then everything went wrong. God. The stories and rumours still haunt my dreams,' he continued in a whisper. 'That you betrayed them.'
As if you ever would. How could I be so blind?
His hand touched a pile of old newspapers.
Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban.
Sirius Black seen in London.
Sirius Black. Sirius Black. Sirius Black.
In a spur of anger he swept the newspapers onto the ground.
…
When your heart is on your sleeve
Then I'll bid you my sweet adieu
Don't forget me
Don't forget me
Everything was on fire that moment in the Shrieking Shack. Remember? That one hug, one touch. And everything was forgiven and forgotten. Our friendship never died. But our love. We had to build it up from the very start. And it did start.
'Right here.' Remus turned around and let his eyes search the room. 'Right here. You took my hand so gently. Asking if we couldn't just try. Work it all out. That you'd never forgotten me. And that you never will, no matter what.'
He sank down to his knees.
'No matter what…'
The other woman to explain.
Her letters I deplore
I'm the flare inside your sorry dark eyes
And I'll leave you never more
You were glad I never found someone else. That I always waited for you. That I was only yours. Does that count when you're-'
Dead?
'I can't be alone for the rest of my life. I need someone to care. Even if it's just once a month. She...'
She's been sending me letters for some time now, Sirius. But it feels like betraying you. It hurts. I deplore my own thoughts as much as her girly handwriting. She offered me her love, Sirius. Your blood runs through her veins. Your cheery disposition. Your hyperactive and slightly childish character.
His fingers caressed the picture.
'It's the closest I'll ever get to you. When I look into her eyes, I see you. I can see myself reflected in them as I could in yours.'
But I promise
He brought the picture to his lips and gently kissed it.
I'll leave you nevermore.
..
Thank you for reading.
Your opinion is very welcome, so please review.
I will update 'Parttime Imaginary Friends' and 'Dukes and Servants' soon!
Love,
Beatlebug