Author's Note:

Hello my fellow Addek lovers!
Its been a while since I have written any stories for this amazing couple or updated the two stories that I have on here. (I have mainly been writing other fan fiction stories)

The other night I was in the biggest Addie & Derek mood, so I figured that I should read my fics to see if I could finish them. Upon doing so I realised that they needed some refining- so I will be editing BOTH of my ADDEK stories before updating them again.

Please feel free to read them again from the start- as I am adding new parts and editing some of the story.

Also if you like this story and want me to continue..please leave a review for me;)

Paris xoox

Derek stared at the thick yellow envelope on his desk. He had no idea, how long he sat there turning the envelope over in his hands; dropping it back onto the desk and pushing it away again; contemplating what to do with it. He already knew what was inside the envelope…but somehow he couldn't bring himself to open it. On way or another the papers inside that A4 envelope would change his life forever and that scared him.

Just get it over with. He thought, mentally scolding himself. He was tired, overworked and beyond exhausted. He was knew that the sooner that he addressed the issue at hand, the sooner that he could go back to his trailer and sleep. It had been a long, tiring day and he was coming off a double shift; every bone in his tired body was aching for some sort of relief that only rest could provide. Sighing heavily, he reached across the desk and took the envelope into his sweaty, clammy shaking hands again. It's now or never, he thought to himself as he tipped out the contents onto his timber desk. Time to decide Derek…Time to make your choice...No more procrastinating!

x

Addison was starting to get really worried. She had not seen or heard from Derek since the morning, when she had handed him the divorce papers. Papers that she did not want to sign; let alone offer to her husband! But Addison could tell that this is what Derek had wanted.

Despite her best efforts to try and make Derek see that she never stopped loving him and wanted to fix their estranged relationship; she had finally caved in when she saw that this is not what he wanted any more. She loved her husband too much to see him stay in their deteriorating marriage out of obligation to her. She loved him, but her love was not enough. She did not want a resentful husband or a husband that clearly was in love with someone else. She knew that she had nobody but herself to blame for her current predicament. She had cheated on the man that she loved. She had ended their eleven year marriage by her infidelity. It was only fair to say that Derek had every right to not want to forgive her and give their marriage another chance. What was that phrase?...Once a cheater...She thought glumly as she chewed on the end of one of her pens.

Coming to Seattle had been a mistake. A part of her always knew that her marriage had ended when Derek packed his things and fled their apartment without another word or a second glance. However, the more dominant, somewhat persistent part of her, always taunted her into believing that if she were to show up in Seattle and make a big love declaration to her husband, he would believe her and they could work things out. She was only now starting to see how wrong she had been to think that. Not only was Derek unimpressed to see her, he had clearly not even forgiven her and was now in a relationship with Meredith Grey. Seeing how quickly it had taken her husband to move on, had stabbed her to the very heart. She had no intention of cheating on her husband at the time with his best friend Mark. She had been feeling neglected at home because Derek was always working and staying at the hospital longer than usual...and well Mark was there to comfort her, every time she cried about the long hours her husband worked...or how he chose work over his wife...how she felt insignificant. And through her insecurities, Mark managed to find a way into her head, making her feel appreciated and valued; making her feel special and making her believe that Derek had it all wrong to put her last all the time. After a while, Mark had made his way into her bed. Addison shuddered quickly; instantly repulsed by her actions last year. If she could only go back in time and stop herself from making the biggest mistake of her life, then she would not be in this heartbreaking situation right now!

How can you be so stupid, Addie? She thought to herself, shaking her head in disbelief. Look at the mess that you created for yourself! She knew that Derek would not be overly thrilled to see her again; but then again she did not expect to find him in love with someone else. His relationship with Meredith had foiled her plans to reunite with him. Now she not only had to convince her husband that she was sorry, that she still loved him and wanted to make things right; but she also had to out do everything that made Meredith so desirable to him. Two women fighting over one man, felt a little too much like games immature teenagers played not like successful surgeons! Nevertheless, she tried. She begged Derek to forgive her..to give their marriage a second chance. Then she tried her best too woo him when begging did not work. But still nothing and yet every day that she stayed in Seattle, uninvited and unexpected like a annoying rash , was another day that she realised that he was only starting to resent her more and more. So Addison called her lawyer, drafted up a set of divorce papers and offered Derek a way out. After all she had done her bit to save their marriage..now the choice would be up to him ultimately and whatever he decided would allow them both to move forward with their lives. Offering Derek the divorce papers had been the hardest thing that she had had to do in her life and she felt physically sick to her stomach thinking about what he would do with them.

Addison looked at the clock on the war and sighed heavily. It had been six hours since she had given Derek the choice. The choice to sign the papers and end their marriage for good; or the choice to try to rebuild their life together.

Had Derek already decided to end the marriage? Is that why he was avoiding her? Was he scared of her reaction when he handed her back the signed copies? She thought as she bit down onto her bottom lip. Addison, who was always usually cool and collected, was starting to feel a nervous anxiety spread throughout her body. Please Derek, don't sign the papers! She repeated over and over again, as she rested her head into her arms and started to cry.

x

Despite already knowing that the envelope held hisdivorce papers; Derek couldn't shake the nauseating feeling that suddenly washed over him when he saw the papers before him for the first time.

He couldn't bring himself to read through the papers right then, he wasn't ready to make a decision. Those eight pages would determine the rest of his life and that honestly scared him.

He knew that this day would come; knew that it was only a matter of time before he was hit with divorce papers. He just always expected, to find them one day out of the blue, when he was opening the mail in his trailer at home. He never in a million years would have dreamed that his wife Addison, would personally deliver them to him.

Pushing the papers aside, Derek reached out for his now cold cappuccino and took a small sip. Yuck that's disgusting, he thought as he swallowed the cold liquid quickly and threw the cup into the trash bin under his desk.

He really needed that coffee. He had been too stressed today. Meredith had been avoiding ever since his wife showed up him and Addison was hot on his heels, trying to make him decide whether she should stay in Seattle or head back to New York.

How did he ever get himself into this situation? What had he done to deserve this? He obviously had pissed off God or some other higher power….

Derek sighed heavily and dropped his head into his hands and started to massage his temples.

"Dr. Shepherd?"

"I'm off duty Yang." Derek said without looking up from his hands. He recognised the somewhat annoying voice of Meredith's best friend Christina without having to look at her.

"I know-but its urgent. We need a consult." Christina said stubbornly, pushing the situation.

"Find someone else." Derek mumbled angrily through his hands. "I'm leaving for the day... I've done more than 20 hours."

"Dr Shepherd… its for the Chief- " Christina said hesitating a little.

Derek snapped his head up to look at her for the first time. Christina searched his face nervously as she played with her hands in front of her. He could tell that she was in an awkward position. Christina was stubborn and competitive; but she would never disrespect one of the attendings.

"What is it?" Derek asked his tone calming down into concern as he spoke.

"He needs a consult on his niece…"

"What happened?" he asked standing up quickly and heading out of his office with Christina and into the corridor.

"She's experienced serve head trauma, due to a serious of skull fractures…she was in a car accident…and she's pregnant." Christina said panting, trying to keep up with Derek's fast pace.

"How's the chief?" he asked, feeling a sudden stab of pain to his heart, as they quickened their pace.

"He's not doing too well… he's a wreck." Christina said avoiding Derek's concerned eyes as they stepped into the elevator.

x

"Tell me the truth Derek; no sugar coating the facts; or giving me false hope. I want an honest answer." Chief Webber said to Derek once he had managed to get him alone; somewhere more privately to talk without any other interns around to invade on his privacy.

"Richard, it's going to be okay-" he said, trying his best to sound as convincing as he could. Derek, knew full well that he was a horrible liar.

"I want the truth Derek! Don't tell me that it'll be okay, if it's not going to be. I am not a patient! You don't need to lie to me!" he cried out.

"Richard... I'm sure she will be fine." Derek said running his fingers through his hair nervously. "We will do everything we can."

"Derek! I need to know! Adele is besides herself and I...I don't know what to do. Tell me, how bad is the damage?" Chief Webber asked flinching a little.

Derek sighed heavily and nodded. "If you want the truth, then fine. Its not looking good, Richard. It's pretty bad."

Chief Webber bit down hard on his lip and started to pace the room.

"What's the synopsis?" he asked after a while, when he had stopped pacing.

"She's hemorrhaging here and here... there's a rupture here, can you see the dark mass over this side? She's losing a lot of blood. " Derek said pointing at the MRI scans. "We need to rush her into surgery right now, if we have any chance to... save her." he said sighing heavily. "Richard, I'm so sorry. I know this must be so hard on you and Adele, but I will need to get her into surgery straight away…we can't waste any more time."

"I've already booked an OR room…Yang and Karev are prepping Alisha for surgery now."

"Okay." Derek said nodding sombrely and walking out of the X-ray room.

"And the baby?" Richard called out, before Derek was out of sight. "Will the baby survive?"

"I'm hoping for the best; but you will need to speak to Addison about that." He said feeling his heart skip a little at the mention of his wife's name. "I'm sure that the baby will be in excellent hands. Addison is the best in her field, but you already know that."

x

"Richard, you paged?" Addison said rushing into the X-ray room, tying up her radiant red hair as she spoke.

"It's Alisha…she's been in an accident." Chief Webber said looking through foggy eyes. "Addie..she's eight months pregnant!"

"Oh Richard!" Addison said stepping forward to rub his arm up and down. "How bad is her condition?"

"She's hemorrhaging." Derek said coming into view, from behind Richard. "We need to get her into surgery right away."

"Oh." Addison said quickly dropping her eyes to the ground and blushing slightly. This was the first time since the divorce papers that she had seen her husband. If he was still her husband! She thought. Now is not the time to be thinking about Derek! Richard is going through hell and he needs you!

"She's losing a lot of blood." Chief Webber said, his words just above a whisper.

"Right." Addison said fidgeting with her wedding ring. Derek saw this and sighed, he knew that she played with her ring whenever she was nervous. "I'll go and scrub up."

"I'll come with you." Derek said quickly, following Addison out of the door.

"I'll meet you both in the OR." Webber said heading towards the lift.

"Richard…" Derek said spinning around. "Don't you think you should stay with Adele?"

"No. I'm going to assist in the surgery." he said defiantly.

"Derek's right, Richard." Addison said quickly. "We will be fine. Adele will need you."

"No." he said quickly, without looking at them and pressing the up button on the lift. "I will tell Adele that she's going in for immediate surgery and then be back to join in the procedure."

"Richard…you can't." Addison begged with pleading eyes.

"Adele will be fine. She is comforting her sister! I am coming into the OR! End of discussion." He said before stepping into the lift and leaving Addison and Derek to look on in wonder.

x

Addison scrubbed her hands so hard with the antibacterial soap that, Derek had to place his hands on hers to stop her.

"They're clean Addie." He whispered softly, squeezing her hand gently.

Addison lifted her foggy eyes to Derek and nodded. Pulling away quickly, she reached for a paper towel and passed one to Derek.

"Thanks." He mumbled taking the towel.

Addison smiled briefly, and started walking towards the door to enter the OR, but Derek pulled her arm gently.

"I haven't decided what I want yet…" he said hoarsely. "I just need some time... I'm sorry."

A tear rolled down Addison's cheek and she nodded again, without a word.

So he hadn't signed the papers yet? That was a good thing right? That meant that he maybe didn't want to sign them at all, because he hesitated Was there still hope for them?

Not sure what to say to this news, Addison turned towards the door again, but Derek pulled at her arm again gently.

"Addison…I do lo-"

"We're ready for you two Dr. Shepherds." Christina Yang said, opening the door to the OR and cutting Derek off.

Derek cursed under his breath and Addison followed Christina into the OR room. Addison wondering if Derek was about to say that he was still in love with her; Derek wishing he got a chance to finish his bloody sentence.

Author's Note:

Please leave a review if you want more :p

xoox