For those who follow me you know I've slowed down lately. Sorry. This was written in an attempt to put my writing boots back on. Plus, Soul-less!Sam was just too interesting to pass up!
On to the story!
Dean sighed. He cast an eye over to the corner of the room where Sam sat in a square of sunlight, typing on his computer.
He sighed again, his eyes tracing back to the ceiling where water marks crisscrossed in intricate shapes. His feet started twitching against each other in time with some tune only he could hear.
His eyes darted over to Sam again. They lingered longer this time, before they jumped to the rooms old television, sitting dark and unused before him. This time Sam sighed. "Damn it, Dean, what is it? Is it still Lisa? Why don't you just –"
"It's not Lisa."
"What?"
"I said it's not Lisa."
"Well then what is it?"
Dean bit his lip as he watched his brother. "It's…nothing, Sam. Don't worry about it."
Sam scowled, but before he could speak, Dean was on his feet, rushing the door.
Sam rolled his eyes as the door slammed shut and turned back to his computer.
Dean paused outside the closed door. He hadn't really planned this far. His eyes caught on a small gas station across the street, and he quickly made his way towards it, walking briskly across the pavement of the parking lot, and jogging across the street.
The station was dusty; dirty floors and a darkened interior spoke of the neglect it was suffering. The man behind the counter didn't give Dean a second glance as he turned a page of his magazine. Dean shuffled to the back where a series of glass cases hummed gently. He grabbed two beers and paid for them with a few crumpled bills before making his way back over to the motel parking lot.
Dean dropped one of the perspiring bottles onto the driver seat and the settled himself against the Impala, sipping his beer as he watched the clouds move across the sky. There was a soft flutter of wings and a warm weight settled beside him. Dean was thankful when the newcomer said nothing, and took another pull on his beer. "There's another on the seat." He said.
He glanced over and watched Castiel reach through the window and pull out the dark bottle, popping of the top with a practiced ease he should not have possessed before settling once more at his side.
Dean continued to stare blankly into space, occasionally sipping at his drink. When the bottle was empty Castiel wordlessly handed the hunter his. Dean accepted it with an appreciative grunt. "When are you going to tell him?"
Dean's frown darkened as he cast a look to the closed blinds of his and Sam's room on the second floor. "It's not that I don't want to, Cas. Sam'n me had a heart to heart the other day… kinda. Know what he said? That he didn't care about Lisa and Ben. He said he couldn't care less. Why should I tell him the truth about us? He wouldn't care, hell, the way he's been acting lately, he'd probably just try to use it against us."
Castiel nodded vaguely. "Regardless. You are still concerned about his reaction."
"Of course I'm concerned. He's my brother." As Dean watched, the blinds of their room twitched open, and by the time Dean looked away, Castiel was gone. "Come on, Cas. Say good bye at least."
The wind picked up, and something brushed across his cheek. "Good bye, Dean."
Dean couldn't help the smile that overtook his face.
When the second bottle was empty, Dean headed back up to their room, thankfully happier than when he'd left. Sam looked up as the door closed, and Dean passed him easily, going to the mini fridge and grabbing another beer. He collapsed back on the bed, flicking on the TV and tucking his free arm behind his head.
"So what did Cas want?"
Dean froze. "Uh. Nothing."
Sam stared at him. "Dean?"
"I said it was nothing." Dean lay back, turning his face away from his brother's disbelieving stare, fumbling with the label on his bottle. In the back of his mind he wished Castiel was there. As he thought of the angel's blue eyes, he felt something bubbling up. "Actually," he said. They typing stopped. "What would you think if… maybe… but it's not… I mean, what I'm trying to say is…. Damn it, why is this so hard?"
There was a fluttering of wings. "What Dean is trying to say is we are in a relationship."
Silence filled the room. With a slightly confused frown Castiel turned to Dean. Dean tried to offer a reassuring smile before he draped an arm over his eyes. "Aw, hell…" His hand moved against the bottle and twitched up the neck, stilling when they met Castiel's. The angel quickly moved the bottle to the floor and twined their fingers. Dean brought their joined hands to his lips. "Thanks, Cas." He murmured.
Dean could practically hear Sam swallow. "For how long?"
"Since… since before the apocalypse."
"But what about Ben? Lisa?"
"Don't get me wrong, Lisa is smoking, and Ben is a great kid, but what we had was never really… sexual. I just didn't want them to get hurt, you know? You were gone and Cas was busy with his civil war, and I needed a distraction."
"Dean needed to ground himself in humanity again." Castiel said simply.
Dean nodded, sitting up. "I need to know if you're cool with this Sammy, cause I can't keep this up much longer."
"Keep what up?"
"Pretending like I don't miss Cas with everything that I am. Knowing that he's hovering somewhere near me, too far for me to reach." Dean said, trailing off.
Sam didn't know what to say. He looked at Dean's mournful expression and Castiel's serious frown. His eyes settled on Dean. "Are you… is this… serious?"
"Yeah, Sam. It's serious."
Sam sat in his chair by the window, his hands in his lap, watching his brother. After what seemed like hours he nodded. "Well then, of course I'm cool with it. I mean, I have to be, right?"
Dean let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It wasn't a perfect reaction, but it was better than it could have been. It was a start. He glanced up and found Castiel watching him intently. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to pull the angel to him and wrap up in his warmth. He glanced over to the window and saw Sam hiding a smile. He felt an answering smile cross his face.
Dean cleared his throat. "Okay, enough chick flicks. Have any leads?"
"Yeah," Sam said, easily falling back into their rhythm. "It looks like there's a haunting a few towns over."
"Sounds great. Let's go."
Right, well, that's been sitting on my computer for a while, and I hope it didn't suck to terribly much. Reviews are lovely! 3
