Chapter One: 15 Cavities

"What do you mean?!" I shouted, completely shocked. "What do you mean I have 15 cavities?! That's like, impossible!"

"Regardless, you have 15 cavities. How often do you floss?" The dentist's nurse was going over her notes and speaking in one of those matter-of-fact voices that tends to infuriate people. Just moments ago, back in the procedure room, she and the dentist had told me that I only had "a few" cavities. Now that we were out in the waiting room, ready to pay the bill, the nurse was telling my dad that I had 15!

"I floss every other day!" I retorted. How many people floss even as much as I do? This is stupid. Why is it always me? I thought to myself. I bet having braces all those years did it. Or it's some stupid curse for not drinking milk.

"You should floss every day. The plaque builds up in only 24 hours. And your teeth seem to be pretty susceptible on the side surfaces. You should use a prescription fluoride solution. It's $19.00."

I forced myself not to explode. Where was the empathy? My pride was damaged at having 15 stinkin' cavities. This nurse could be at least a little nicer. But she didn't care, and probably wouldn't care even if she'd found these cavities in teeth made of pure gold, or canines sharp as dragon's teeth, or teeth with some sort of spy-gear microchips holding all dental hygiene secrets!

I sighed. I was quickly turning into defense mode.

Then my dad came to my defense. "Fifteen? But she flosses more than I do," he said. He let loose a nervous laugh as he glanced at the price estimates of so many fillings. "And she only has 22 teeth!"

I walked over and slumped down in big squishy waiting room chair. Great, I thought. Just perfect. What else could possibly happen during the year of my sweet 16? How is a girl supposed to live like this?

"Actually, she has 32 teeth."

I rolled my eyes.

"How can she have developed so many cavities in only a year?" My dad was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, but you can't wait with cavities. They have to be filled as soon as possible."

I spent the remainder of the day fuming. That night, by the time I was finishing the task of scrubbing my teeth with the "prescription fluoride" and was ready for bed, I had relaxed a little… but only a little. I managed to make a joke, though…

I had recently had a movie marathon with my friends, during which we watched a bunch of pirate movies, including the very awesome Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Pirates were on my brain.

"Well, I guess it's an easy way to become a pirate. All you have to do is sit back and let your teeth rot. Then you can get a few gold or silver caps for your teeth. And wallah! Life of a pirate for me!"

At the time, I didn't know how right my ridiculous and nonsensical "joke" really was.

To Be Continued . . .

Originally written 07-25-06

Grammar and spelling mistakes corrected in recent update: 10-10-12