Ways to piss off hogwarts students (And Staff)

1-Parvati And Padma.

Draco sat in the great hall. He had an idea.

The Patil twins were sitting in the library, on a bench. In between them was two piled of books.

"Wingardium Leviosa" whispered Draco, levitating the gluey signs onto Each girls back. They both read 'Bookends- Buy One Get One Free, Only 5 sickles!'

2-Professor Flitwick

Hermione Granger sat, crying, in an empty charms classroom. Flitwick came in, looking startled at her face.

"Oh, Miss Granger, what seems to be the problem?"

"Oh, nothing, Professor."

"Can I help?"

"Well, actually... I was just looking for snow white, have you seen her sir?" She said, hiding her (very Slytherin) smile, as Flitwick turned purple and walked off.

3- Professor Lupin

"Oh, Sir! I heard it was your birthday!" said Draco Malfoy, walking up to a suspicious (and rightly so) Professor Lupin.

"Yes..."

"Well, I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you... Here you go!" said Draco, Handing lupin a purple box, with a green bow. "Well, got to dash, transfiguration next!" Draco ran off.

Professor lupin opened the box very cautiously. Inside was a flea collar.

4-Snape

"You're sure this will work?" said Draco, Looking at Hermione's face, searching it for any kind of doubt.

"Of course. Now, shhh, I'm turning it on." she said, pointing to the video camera in her hands.

They were stood outside the potions room, and Hermione saw the perfect opportunity for filming as Snape turned around, searching for the noise.

~Later That Day (in the room of requirement)~

"What's that?"

"This, Malfoy, Is a computer" said Hermione as she slowed down the footage, and added subtitles.

"It's going to make us Very Popular"

~Next Morning (At breakfast in the great hall)~

Breakfast was interrupted by Draco, who played his part nicely.

"Attention, Everyone. Teachers, Please, I have an important announcement to make!" he said, conjuring up a Massive television all along the wall behind the teachers. "Granger, If you please"

"My Pleasure, Malfoy" she said, gracefully getting up, and loading a disc into the DVD player. She pressed the play button.

Snape came up on the screen. He was facing away, cutting something up. He turned around... Very slowly, his hair billowing out around him. The words "L'Oreal...Because He Needs It!" appeared in bright pink letters on the screen. The whole hall burst into laughter. (A/N Lets say, for the sake of this, that everyone watches muggle TV, okay!)

Snape was not Amused

5- Draco Malfoy

Draco was pissed off. Snape had taken happy pills (A/N-Before you flame that, maybe harry put some in his food?) and had spent the whole potions class sitting by Draco and saying:

"Pimp-Cane...Pimp Cane...Pimp Cane...Pimp Cane...How's Your dad? Good Ol' Luscious Mouthful and his faithful PIMP CANE" before falling asleep. He had also shown his artistic skills by drawing Lucius in a pink Gingham dress with plaits. He had drawn himself in a catsuit. With a tail. And ears.

Harry had fainted.

6- Snape (again)

(again with the video Camera.)

"Shhh, Draco, I'm waiting... Yeah, got it... Shut up!" Said Hermione, turning the video camera on once again.

"Yes... Nearly there... YES! I HAVE IMMORTALITY!" said Snape

"Draco, press that button, NOW!" Said Hermione.

Draco and Hermione watched and laughed silently, As they filmed the best footage and audio yet.

~Lunch, the great Hall~

"People! Yet another important Announcement!" said Draco, Standing on the slytherin house table. He nodded to Hermione and cast the television charm. Hermione inserted a disc, and pressed play.

The screen filled with Snape, hovering over a bubbling cauldron. He grinned, and started to dance. Half a minute in, Theodore Nott Laughed.

"OH MY GOD! Snape's doing a happy dance!"

And he was. Accompanied by the occasional "Oh, yeah, you still got it Sev" or a "Yeah! I'm in the hotHotHOT" the video-snape danced for five minutes flat.

Snape was STILL not amused.

7- Snape yet again.

"Hurry up, Malfoy!" said Hermione.

"You're SURE this is permanent?"

"Yes, hurry up,he's coming!"

And when Snape opened his wardrobe, all his robes had 'I don't shower to conserve water!" written in bright pink.

8-Umbridge

"Draco, how did you even get those pictures!" said Hermione, as she and Draco flicked through a pile of about 20 pictures of Umbridge naked.

"My father had them." said Draco, blushing.

"EWW!"

"Yeah, I agree!"

So, Here goes..." said Hermione, putting them in an envelope.

And that was the day Dumbledore received interesting post. He never looked at Umbridge in the same way again.

9- Hermione Granger

Draco looked around. There was no-one around. He waved his wand

"Hermione Granger Non Licit" he said in time with the wand. (A/N- Non Licit is "not allowed" in Latin)

He grinned, running away from the library. Oh, She was in for a shock.

10- Harry Potter

Harry was pissed off. He was sitting in History of Magic (which was bad enough in itself), and he'd just received his third note from Malfoy. Each one read ' Are your Voldie senses tingling?'. He put head on the desk, and quietly fell asleep.

Hermione was sitting next to Harry, and she noticed he was asleep. She looked at Draco, and grinned Cunningly. He grinned back.

Hermione decided now was the time to show her artistic skills.

Harry Potter walked around for the rest of the week with a Dark Mark, drawn in permanent marker, on his forearm.

A/N- that was fun to write! Sorry for any errors, please don't flame. Does anyone want me to write another chapter?