Author's Note: This random realisation came to me while doing my Final English exam practice. Unfortunately I cannot write this as my essay so you guys can have it instead. This was planning to be a one-shot but if you guys like it I could find a way to continue it.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters that have stolen my heart, torn, and it shredded into pieces. They all belong to SJM.
The Stars That Gazed Back
"still, the image haunted his dreams.
A lonely girl gazing up at the stars,
and the stars who gazed back"
—Throne of Glass
The stars were beautiful, even more beautiful when gazing at them with her friend. Celeana was something else, almost like she had fire that raged beneath that pale skin of hers. The golden haired beauty was someone who made her have to take a step back. She nearly revealed her darkest secret to a girl she had known for less than a month, yet her presence calmed Ansel. Celeana seemed like a secret herself; the stars seemed to think so too. They shone upon her making light emit from Celeana's hair, encouraging her to embrace her destiny. 'Girls like her, are born to rule this world' Ansel thought to herself, for this girl had had everything she loved burned to ashes. Maybe it was even those ashes that fuelled the never-ending fire from beneath that skin. Terresan was nothing more than green forests now, the fae being extinct. But if the cards were played right; Celeana could easily beat up Adarlan's ass and take her kingdom back by force. She certainly could be a queen, Ansel thought to herself. Chuckling to herself: 'Oh the irony, she was a queen by birth. But Celeana—she was someone who would seize the opportunity.' She herself was like a star, the golden glow her hair gave off and the glowing golden rings around her pupils; behaving like wildfire in the sea of clear water-like turquoise coloured irises. Whereas the stars glowed for Celeana, Ansel could have sworn they darkened as she turned to them. Two would-possibly-be-queens sat under the stars one joyous but a never ending fury; the other a hurricane shrouded in death, mystery and tragedy but internally had fire raging beneath her skin. It was like something Ansel had never seen before. Like Celeana herself was a star, otherworldly and strange, but welcoming all the same. Ansel told herself that if Celeana never took back Terresan, which was highly unlikely, she would always have a place in the Western Wastes —where the dark stars would eventually shine.
There was a reason Celeana never felt alone when looking up at the stars. They always seemed to shine down on her, and they always showed her the way home. Even though she usually never sat under the stars with anyone. She glanced to the left; there sat Ansel a red head with a temper to match. She smiled as they talked idly, about constellations and lost kingdoms. Celeana thought about how before her sat the new Queen of the Western Wastes. After swapping stories about lost cultures and customs the turn fell on Celeana to tell the next one.
"Did you know that in Terresan, we believe that when you die, you are reincarnated as a star? Or at least that's what your soul becomes." Celeana asked, curious to see Ansel's response.
"Really? That's kinda cool actually, knowing your family still looks out for you." Ansel replied, genuinely curious to know more.
"I guess it's nice knowing that since, well, we are orphans. It's like right now our whole family is looking down at us, encouraging us despite knowing what we are and aren't." Celeana states, slightly bluntly but nonetheless informing.
"I don't think my parents would have been happy with me being an assassin. It kind of makes me look like a displeasing person a monster, perhaps." she paused, but before she could continue, Celeana shuddered.
"At least you took matters into your own hands. My parents would have been horrified, I was a monster. I truly was, but I finally locked away the monster inside of me." Droplets started forming, a few escaped; as Celeana closed her eyes and threw her head back, sighing before continuing. "That monster died, frozen in a river 8 years ago." Pausing again, her heart remained raw and vulnerable. "So maybe somewhere out there my monster shines down on me, reincarnated into a star, either mocking or just to spite me, maybe something better. Maybe one day when I need it back, it will be waiting." Celeana risked a glance through teary eyes at Ansel, who looked slightly shocked at the rawness of the confession.
"Well goodness help the King of Ardalan or whoever is standing in your way when and if it makes a comeback. I certainly will try not to be." Ansel paused, light dancing in her eyes, almost mocking and deciding whether the next comment would cost her. "Just curious, what kind of monster dwelled beneath your skin?" A smirk slid onto her face. Celeana looked at her and said:
"The kind that makes people run and scream, the kind that can torture people for pure fun. Almost like the burning fury of hell itself. Honestly I think it would have sent Hellas packing and made itself the ruler of the underworld" Ansel gulped and turned slightly pale, but Celeana continued anyway. "But it's also the kind that keeps you warm at night, that burns as brightly with compassion as it does with fury. There were times where I couldn't deal with it, so many times it nearly killed me. But I guess there were also times when it saved me." Celeana lifted her head gazing at the stars again. She was unaware at what point Ansel had fallen asleep next to her but Celeana knew she wouldn't be sleeping tonight. Not when she knew which Star was her monster, and that it burned brighter than the others, like wildfire burning in the abyss of her black tainted soul. Tainted souls could be purified, she knew that better than most. Knowing fully well that she would suffer from sleep deprivation the next day, Celeana moved to a more comfortable position and spent the night gazing up at the stars.
Author's Note: O-kay! All done! Let me know if you have any suggestions as of how I could make my writing better ,not necessary but appreciated for sure) Also any questions about what I didn't make clear are also welcomed. I'd like to say the idea originated from the part in ACOMAF where the two spirits splatter onto Rhys and Feyre's faces. I was also thinking that if deceased character's spirits turn into stars, then since Aelin died in that river when she was 8. Does that mean the would become a star? That's kind of why I had Ansel picture her as a star, since she kind of came back, but has the glowing effect of her fire in some circumstances, but as Celeana Sardothien?
Sorry that Note was long, but I hoped you all enjoyed it. Let me know if you did! I enjoy knowing people get some joy out of reading my work.