Apparently we're dead; convenient under the circumstances.
Boggs is really dead. So is Mitchell. And now I'm left in charge, an unwilling leader with a holo I don't know how to use.
It's exactly what I wanted-to get my hands on a holo. Now for the second part I want-to leave the group on my own and go kill Snow.
There's a slight issue with this; I have quite a few people to lead, that I shouldn't abandon. But I don't want any more people to get hurt. I should go in the dead of night, by myself and go to end this thing before there are any more casualties.
I should go alone. But really, I would rather not do this without the two people I trust most at the moment here in this room. One the young man that I judged harshly before meeting, his sea green eyes which I once saw as his seductive secret now show me the incredible person he is whose love is for a mad woman, now his wife. And the other, the person I trust most, more than myself even sometimes. And though this war has been making us a casualty as well, we are somehow still here, still together. And I still trust him more than anyone in this world.
When the others are sleeping, I stay guard in this random empty apartment. After about an hour, I quietly wake up Gale, and within seconds by our silent expressions he's up and ready for our mission. I also wake Finnick, who takes whispers to convince but eventually the three of us are slipping out into the dead of night, leaving the others in relative safety. It's alright though-we're the ones they want anyway. Well, except for one still here. But he can so easily slip into his mutt state again that I'm safer without him.
We crawl along for a while, silently sneaking our way to the heart of the city under the pale crescent moon. But we know we will be discovered not dead within hours, so we need to get under cover.
For the next two days, we silently make our way underground, trying desperately to make this stupid holo work. We narrowly avoid many traps and pods, but make it pretty far. We are surprised that we have not been under full attack yet, what with us surely being discovered alive days ago. They know we got away.
Not two hours later, we hear them-mutts, lots of them, crying and hissing my name. They've finally found us.
We know that we have to get out of here, get above ground. It might not be too safe, but it has to be better than the inevitable attack from mutts underground.
We are about to climb the ladder to safety, Gale in the lead, me behind him and Finnick taking the rear. The mutts come before Finnick can climb. I scream for him to hurry, but he tells us to go, to get away. He'll hold them off.
I know he's lying. I panic, wanting to help him as three mutts attack him at once. But Gale pulls me up much to my distress, trying to tell me there's nothing I can do. I scream Nightlock thrice and throw the holo into the hole to end Finnick's pain. He died a hero for Panem-I on the other hand, blame myself. Finnick has just become another casualty of this stupid war.
Gale holds me for what could be seconds or hours, trying to soothe me without words because he knows that there aren't any to say. He knows me.
We can't stay here forever though. We slip into the city, trying to blend into the crowd. We are merely blocks from the mansion, the goal of this stupid mission which has already had a casualty. Will there be more? I hope not, I don't want to die until it's complete. I don't want to do this alone even more. I don't want Finnick's death to be in vain.
Somehow we make it to the center of the city, the mansion sickeningly large and ostentatious. We go underground once again and find our way into the mansion, in a closet filled with ridiculous clothes. With bows ready, we silently walk through the abandoned halls, quietly opening and closing doors looking for our target.
We come to a door much like the others, but I feel different about this one and Gale senses it too. It's a garden, the scent of roses so overwhelming that I choke on it. This has to be the place where Snow finds his powerful scent.
This is also the place where we find him.
"So, the two troublemakers of District 12 finally find me, together. I should have known it would be you two." Snow says to us, clearly not frightened. If anything, he's amused. Defeated. He knows that he has lost this war.
Without a word, I release my arrow straight into Snow's heart, severing the disgusting white rose directly over it.
He's dead. He's finally dead. Snow has become a casualty of this war, a casualty to end it. I turn to Gale who gives me a triumphant grin which I return. We drop our bows and meet in a searing kiss, one I wasn't planning but it somehow feels appropriate.
A kiss that breaks when there is a blasting, ear-shattering boom from outside the mansion. We break apart in confusion, and race out of the room to find a window to see what happened.
At the window we see the chaos outside, children in pieces and medics in white coming to their rescue. Looks like Snow did try to fight back-too bad it's too late. But the casualties aren't, as we see that children are also dying still as we look on. We glance at each other and race to find the door to outside.
The children we find when we get outside are Capitol children. Really? Snow killed his own people, and children at that? He was a sick man.
The Capitolites realize how sick he was as well, as the war ends with this final casualty.
The residents of thirteen come to the Capitol. Our families come as well.
I look for a thirteen year old girl among them, the one I want to see most, hug most. I can't find her.
She's gone they tell me. She died in the bomb helping the children.
My Prim has become a casualty in this war.
I shriek once in disbelief and collapse, only to be held up by arms from behind me. Those arms lift me and hold me, letting my tears fall and my grief take over.
He carries me inside the mansion and lays me down on a bed. But as he slowly tries to let me go, I cling to him desperately, not wanting anyone else to slip from my grasp. I can't lose anyone else. I can't afford another casualty of this war.
He understands. He knows. Without me letting go, he gently sits on the bed with me practically in his lap and lets my tears, denial, and grief soak his shirt, pressing gentle kisses in my hair.
There are no words. No words can comfort me. He knows.
I don't know how long we stay like this, but long enough for me to fall asleep somewhere in the depths of my grief. My nightmares are of her, my everything that became casualties which started because I tried to save her. In the end I couldn't save her at all, a last laugh on Snow's part.
Thank god he's rotting in hell right now.
Somewhere in a daze I'm in a half sleep. I see people come and go-my mother, Haymitch, Hazelle, doctors, nurses, Johanna, Beetee. Mostly they just check on us, leaving us be. But the one who surprises me the most is the boy who started the star-crossed lovers, the boy that was tortured because of me.
He looks at me, stares at me for a while. Or us, more likely. After looking deep in thought for a while, he sighs and leaves the room. He never came back again.
The boy with words could not help me now. There are no words to help me so he is at a loss.
He knows it.
After what might have been hours or days, I finally bring my head up from where it has constantly been on Gale's chest and bring my grief-stricken eyes to meet his. His almost mirror mine, but also show his worry-worry for me. Without smiling because I don't know if either of us can at the moment, he brings his hand up to my cheek and caresses it softly, rubbing his thumb under my eye to wipe away stray tears still there.
Those hands are the ones who helped me, saved me for years. They are the ones who have always been so capable and strong, but always gentle with me. Those hands are the only ones that could keep me together at this moment, in this situation. He was right-those hands are the ones I couldn't survive without. Because surely right now without them…without him, I would not have pulled through this alive.
Prim wouldn't have wanted me to be a casualty of this war as well.
Prim wouldn't have wanted us to be a casualty, the war that almost succeeded in tearing us apart.
Knowing this, I lift my face up to his and place a gentle, soft kiss on his lips. It makes me realize that though there have been so many casualties in this war, so many unnecessary deaths, we will not become one.
The casualties of this war are ending.