A/N: This is something random that just popped up out of nowhere.

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 7 is the property of SquareEnix and its associates. I make no legal claim to it.

1 –A TURK knows every rule. EVERY rule.

In the event that a TURK is asked to recite the rules, they will be able to do so

The office of the reformed Department of Administrative Research was oddly silent. The squeaking of wheels and scratching of pens filled the air as the desk-bound men and women worked diligently to finish their work before their boss left for the night. It was this very silence, so unheard of on this floor when a certain red-head wasn't on assignment, that drew Tseng from the depths of his office to see the reason behind this unnatural occurrence.

Rude sat at his desk, as Tseng expected, working hard to have both his and Reno's paperwork from their previous mission finished. Across from him, however, Reno's desk was devoid of an trace of the red-head's flamboyant presence. Tseng frowned and stopped in front of Rude's desk, glaring rather pointedly at the cluttered chaos that Reno called his work station.

"Where is Reno?" Rude winced and looked up from his paperwork, his sunglasses pushed up on his forehead to reveal bloodshot eyes. Tseng turned his attention to the bald man, scowling. "Well?"

"I don't know, sir," Rude replied. "I tried calling him an hour ago, but he didn't answer."

Tseng scowled and stalked back into his office, his personal cell phone already out and open. He slammed the door to his office shut behind him and scrolled through the numbers displayed on his screen until he reached the one he was looking for.

After three rings, the line was picked up. "Hello?"

"Mr. Tuesti, this is Tseng. I need to get in touch with an acquaintance of yours."

~******~

When Reno waltzed into the office that morning, he had been feeling pretty good. His mission had gone well, he'd managed to shove all the paperwork off onto Rude, and he'd gotten to sleep in because of it. By the end of the day, he was wondering if there was a way for him to retire that didn't involve a bullet or knife someplace vital.

He flopped down in his chair and put his feet up on the only clear space on his desk right next to the empty file folder. Rude looked up when he sat and Reno waved at his partner. "Yo, partner."

"Reno," Rude began, "Tseng was looking for you this morning."

"He say why?" Reno hoped it was for a new mission.

"No, but he looked angry." The red head shrugged and sank deeper into his seat.

"He's always grumpy in the mornings, yo." Rude sighed and gestured towards the shut door that led to Tseng's office.

"Not like this, he's not." Reno shrugged and pulled a random file off his desk and began to read it, wrinkling his nose at the contents. Kidnapping cases annoyed the red head since he normally didn't get to fight, but he could deal with one if nothing better showed up.

"Reno," Tseng barked suddenly. Reno yelped and fell out of his chair, before looking up at the Wutanese man. Tseng stood in the doorway of his office, his expression oddly blank, though there was a distinct amount of annoyance in his eyes as he glared at the red-head sprawled on the floor. Reno smiled at him and waved in a two-fingered salute.

"Yo, boss." Tseng scowled before turning and disappearing back into his office.

"Get in here, Reno." Reno sighed and got up, rubbing at his abused bottom. He waved at Rude before walking into Tseng's office, the door slamming shut behind him before he could even touch it. The TURK turned sharply and stared at the sight of the only "living" retired TURK, Vincent Valentine, casually leaning against the door of Tseng's office, his crimson eyes studying Reno intently.

Reno swallowed and turned back around to face his boss while still trying to keep one eye on Valentine. "Yo, ya wanted to speak with me, boss?"

Tseng settled into the stiff leather chair behind his desk and nodded. He pushed a thin black book across his desk, the object spinning slightly so that it was facing Reno when it stopped. "I want you to read this. Valentine has graciously agreed to assist me in re-implementing the older, more obscure aspects of TURK history, beginning with that book." Tseng leaned forward, ebony gaze trapping Reno's teal one. "I have had enough of your being late and your inability to conform to the rules of this organization. The only reason you have yet to be terminated is because of how good you are at this job. Do you understand me?"

Reno swallowed again and nodded. "Yes, sir."

He reached out and picked up the thin book, his thumb brushing away a thin film of dust, and stared at the title.

TURK Rulebook – as written and decreed by Verdot.

A/N: That's that. Please let me know what you think. And the chapters should get longer.