A/N: First try at a Clexa ficlet! Hope you like it! I also hope the last line is accurate.
Anonymous asked: Lexa dying in her arms brings flashbacks to all their firsts and every feeling she ever woke in Clarke. Every night when Clarke bothers to try to sleep she sees Lexas face and how Lexa would still be alive if it hadnt been for Clarke...
She doesn't even bolt up from the bed anymore, it's not a nightmare nor a sudden moment of panic; it's just words, memories, maybe the faint sensation of a touch, or a vague memory of warmth… but what it usually is is Lexa's apology.
"I'm sorry… I never meant to turn you into this."
She remembers that moment, how broken she was, so angry, resentful, conflicted because of everything she felt whenever she thought about Lexa, whenever she saw her.
"I'm sorry…"
She closes her eyes, tightly suppressing a scream, she's screamed too much, she keeps forgetting how long it has passed, she remembers leaving, leaving everything behind and being on her own makes it is difficult to maintain track of time. She sits up, calmly, wiping the tears from her face and touching that one lonely scar she has. She has killed many people, she carries their deaths on her shoulders, but they didn't weigh enough for her to get their markings… None weighs on her heart like Lexa does, none ever made her feel the need to make the mark.
"I never meant to turn you into this."
Clarke presses her hand against the scar on her chest and inhales, deeply, shakily, and stares up to the starry sky above her and brokenly whispers:
"Ai nowe meant kom turn yu ona disha either"