So a lot of my previous Hank/Alex relationship origins have been blow out of the water with the last few episodes in the season.
BUT I still press on. Because this pairing. Yes.
Anyway, have a mildly amusing fic where Hank gets Alex a bad wig and some equally bad clothing to go along with her disguise.
Mild warnings for lots and lots of talk about hookers/prostitutes/sex industry workers and for some swearing.
They were already on the outskirts of the city when Kara and Lucy came to save them. They didn't want to risk going further into the city and being captured all over again, so they continued on out of town.
Alex had no idea where it was that they were going, but she knew that they needed to put some distance between them and the city, fast. After all, it wouldn't take the rest of the military long to figure out that they'd lost contact with the men who were supposed to have been transporting them to Cadmus, and then literally everybody would be on the look-out for them. They needed to find a place to lie low long enough for everything to blow over. For Kara and Lucy to clear Hank's— and Alex's— names.
There was a small town in between National City and the neighboring city. It had maybe a population of two thousand people living in it, and most of them worked either in National City or Lobo City.
Just before they reached Blue Tent, Hank pulled over to the side of the road and Alex followed suit.
"We need to figure out where it is that we're going. What our plan is," he said after she'd taken her helmet off.
"Obviously we're going to go and rescue my dad," Alex said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Alex, be smart about this," Hank said with a frown. "We can't just waltz into Cadmus while the military will be looking out for us. I know that you're eager to rescue your father— or to just find out if he really is alive or not— but we have to be smart about this. Especially you, since you aren't a shape-shifter."
Alex let out a deep sigh. "I hate to admit it, but you're right," she said after a moment of hesitation. "But that still leaves us with what it is that we're going to do."
"First off, you're going to need a disguise. I'm uncertain what Blue Tent might have, but maybe I can scrounge up a wig and some clothes for you. We'll also need another ride, but we can focus on that after I find you a wig."
"What should I do while you're doing that?" Alex asked.
Hank looked around a bit before he wheeled his bike off the side of the road, and into the scrub. There was a ditch for water a few feet away from the road, and Alex sighed as she resigned herself to an hour or two sitting in it with the bikes.
"If I'm not back in four hours, just go," Hank told her.
"I won't leave you behind," Alex said with venom in her voice to get her point across.
"Alex, it's me that they want," Hank said sourly. "You just tried to stand up for me; that's all. They're scared, and scared people tend to do stupid things. Hide out in Lobo City until everything blows over."
Alex frowned, but didn't say anything. Hank used his powers to lower Alex's bike into the ditch, and then helped Alex climb down into it as well.
"See you in a little bit," he said before he rode off on his own bike.
Alex only waited about half an hour before she heard the roar of a bike coming from Blue Tent. She bit down on her knuckle and wondered if it was Hank returning, or somebody trying to find her hiding spot.
She was exceptionally relieved when Hank dropped down into the ditch with her. He handed her a bag full of clothes and makeup, and on the top, was a trashy, red wig. The cheap kind that a stripper might wear.
"It's only for a little bit," Hank said after he saw the sour look on Alex's face. "We'll be able to get something better in Lobo City."
"Yes," Alex said as she turned around to change. Apparently, Hank had picked up on the "cheap stripper" theme presented by the wig, and had gotten clothing to match. Alex's already bad mood got even darker at the sight of the micro jean shorts and cowboy boots.
At least the tank top was somewhat decent, even if it was covered in rhinestones that said "Princess" under a tiara.
"I suppose that I'll need a name to match my persona," Alex said after she'd changed. She was putting blue eye shadow on in an effort to make herself look more like the character that she was trying to bring to life. "Ginger or Scarlet?"
"No…" Hank said slowly as he watched her apply the makeup to her eyelid. "No, those names are much too classy for you right now."
Alex paused long enough to give him a death glare. Hank held his hands out in a gesture of surrender. Alex returned to her reflection in the tiny mirror in the power compact.
"Cinnamon," she said after she'd applied a coat of garish, red lipstick. "I am Cinnamon."
"Yes, that's a good name for a cheap hooker," Hank agreed with a laugh. He shifted into a more modern-looking, Hispanic Danny Zuko. Alex rolled her eyes and choked back a laugh. "What? Is this not a suitable look?"
"No, no…" she said around a laugh. "It's just… No, it's actually really perfect. You will be changing with me as soon as I can not be Cinnamon any longer, though. I refuse to walk around with Mexican Danny Zuko."
"Alejandro Alfaro takes offense at that, Cinnamon," Hank told her sternly.
Alex threw back her head and laughed soundly until her sides hurt. "Oh, let's get out of here before I ruin my makeup," she said as she went over to the side of the ditch.
Hank jumped out easily, and then turned around to help Alex out. "We won't be going far, so you can just leave your helmet here," Hank told her as he swung onto the other motorcycle. Alex tossed it into the ditch before she climbed onto the back of the bike.
"I'm honestly not used to riding bikes, and it makes me uneasy to be a passenger," Alex said as Hank started into Blue Tent.
"We aren't going far," he repeated.
They rode into the gas station on the far end of town. Even though it was so late that it was early, somebody was at the pump, filling up their car. The man looked like he'd been on the road all night.
Hank got off the bike and went over to him. After a moment, he gestured for Alex to come over. The man leered as her as she passed him, but she ignored him.
The car stunk of cigarettes and coffee, but the tank was full, and nobody would be looking for it. Hank pulled out from the gas station parking lot and headed towards Lobo City.
It was still fairly early when they reached the outskirts of Lobo City. "We need to ditch the car and get you something else to wear," Hank said as he pulled into the first gas station they came to.
"I think that I have an idea," Alex said as Hank killed the engine of the car. "We should head over to my mom."
"Eliza Danvers? Why? Do you think that she might know something about your father?"
"It's possible," Alex said slowly as she worried on her lip with her teeth. "But we could restock and regroup once we get to her. It's a safe place to be."
Hank was silent as he mused this over. "Yes, alright," he said finally as he opened the door. "We'll go to your mom's."
Alex got out of the car and went inside the store to use the bathroom. When she came out from the bathroom, three guys walked towards her.
"Hey, sugar. You look like just my kind of girl," one of the men said to her.
"Go away," Alex said sourly as she stalked through the isles of chips and candy to reach the door.
"Come on, sugar, don't be like that. A woman in your position doesn't get to be nasty to men who only want to pay for her services," the man pressed.
Alex inhaled sharply through her nose and mentally reminded herself that she was dressed like a trashy hooker, after all. And while she'd expected some leers while she was dressed as such, she hadn't expected for men to offer to pay for sex with her.
"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Alex asked in a thick, southern accent as she rounded on the ringleader of the men. "I am not a whore. Do you just walk up to random women on the street and offer to pay them for sex? Go away!"
She tried to leave then, but the man grabbed her arm. His grip was hard enough that she'd likely bruise. "Why you gotta be like that? I know a working girl when I see one!"
The door chimed as somebody else came into the shop. But the four of them were hidden from the door by the tall shelves.
"Cinnamon?" Hank called out from the front of the shop.
"Help!" Alex cried out. Not like she couldn't handle the men on her own, but she didn't want to make an impression. A woman dressed as a cheap hooker who took out four men twice her size? That'd be sure to put the military on their trail.
Hank appeared at the far end of the isle. "Hey! What the hell are you doing? Get your hands off from my girl!" he yelled at the men.
"Come on man, don't be like that!" one of the other two men exclaimed as Hank came stomping over towards them. "We're just trying to have a little bit of fun with her!"
"Little bit of fun? Who exactly do you think that she is?! Get the fuck out of here before they need to mop you off from the floor!"
"Come on, she's such a frigid bitch anyway," the ring-leader said. He released Alex and half-shoved her towards Hank. "I'd sooner put my dick into a cactus. Let's go."
Alex and Hank met in the middle of the isle. "Are you okay?" he asked her quietly. He gently touched the bruises that were already starting to form on her arm.
"Yeah," she said with a scowl. "Let's get out of here." It was unspoken that she wanted to go find another disguise.
The shirt was a little bit more "frumpy" than Alex would normally wear, but after the unpleasant encounter at the gas station, she could use all of the "frumpy" that she could get.
At least she looked a little bit more respectable now, and not like a cheap hooker.
Hank looked at her as she came out from the dressing room, and then shifted down into the form of a small child. His hair color matched the blonde wig that Alex now wore, and his face looked like he could be her son.
"Are we going to go to grandma's now, mom?" he asked her in a child-like voice.
Alex put her index finger and thumb on the bridge of her nose and hung her head.
"Alex?" Hank asked with concern after she hadn't moved in a few seconds. Alex held up a finger.
Finally, she said, "I was in no way ready to deal with you pretending to be my son."
"You look like somebody's mother. And I doubt that many people are going to harass you now," he pointed out.
As they waited at the bus depot for the next bus that would take them close to where Eliza lived, Alex turned to Hank. "If you tell anybody about Cinnamon, I'll make you wish that they had taken you to Cadmus," she hissed at him.
"Fair enough."
If you enjoyed this, please let me know by leaving a review!
PS: This might not be the last time that "Cinnamon" is brought up...