Happy New Year

New Years Eve: 1824

A new year was about to be rung in, but Valjeans mind was still very much dwelling in the past year. Horrendous things had happened to him, being discovered by Javert, having to flee from his life in Montreuil-sur-mer and the worst thing of all, the death of Fantine. Of all the things that had happened in the past year her death was still weighing heavy on his heart. He had tried to help so many people in his life, but he couldn't save her. She had died a terrible death and it had devastated him to the core.

He had only been in his new lodgings for a week but he still couldn't shake the feeling that Javert would discover him at any moment. He still felt like he was looking over his shoulder every minute of the day, waiting for Javert to discover him again, it was a terrible burden for him to bear.

However, in spite of all the darkness in his life there was one small spark of light, Cosette. He had only had the child in his possession for a week but he was already in love with that little girl. It was hard for him to show it as he had only known hate for a long part of his life, but there was something about that girl that he couldn't help but love. He had known for the first time the simple joys of fatherhood in the past week as he bathed her, brushed her hair, helped her dress and sat her on his knee in the evenings. It was something he had never experienced before and he was enjoying it immensely.

He had thought during the short time they'd been together about what a child of his might have looked like, he tried not to dwell on it though as that part of his life had ended long ago, so Cosette felt like his last chance at having a family.
She was a very damaged child however, as he had been a very damaged man for a long time, perhaps that was part of why he felt drawn to her so much. She had been abused for much of her life and her tiny body still had bruises and scars as evidence of the hideous things done to her. They would heal easily with time; however her mind may not be so easily healed. Not that Valjean hadn't been trying, he had given her a doll, new clothes, a warm bed and a fathers love, but what the little girl needed most of all was time. Time to realise she wouldn't be hurt anymore, time to learn how to smile and laugh and time to be a child.

Valjean had put the girl to bed hours ago but he couldn't sleep, he was restless thinking about everything that had happened lately. It was nearly midnight and he knew a new year would be ringing in any second now. Would it be a better year than the previous one? Who could tell?

He heard bells in the distance and he knew it must be midnight, "1825" he thought, "another year gone". Sometimes Valjean felt like he had lived too many years with too many hardships, but he had something precious now, something to live on for, he had Cosette. He knelt by his bedside and prayed for the New Year ahead, he also prayed for himself and his little Cosette; for she was the one thing he couldn't stop thinking about.

He knew she would be asleep but he couldn't resist checking on her. He had been doing that most nights this past week just too make sure she was sleeping alright and comforting her if she was having nightmares. He made his way quietly to her little room and opened the door as quietly as he could.
There she was, sleeping like an angel. She still had the evidence of abuse on her face, a black eye that was thankfully fading, but apart from that she looked absolutely at peace.

He smiled warmly at her, his own child. He had asked her to call her papa from now on and she was still getting used to calling him that, occasionally she slipped and called him Monsieur again, but he thought it was only natural seeing as she had only know him a short time.

He knelt down beside her bed and gently stroked her hair as not to wake her, he knew he would cherish moments like this from now on. She was such a dear child and there were so many things Valjean wanted to tell her. Things about her mother, about himself, but he knew he couldn't, perhaps not ever. There was something he wanted to tell her right now though but he didn't want to wake her up.

Instead he just whispered to her, hoping that she would somehow know what he wanted to say to her.

"It's after midnight Cosette, It's a new year" he whispered, " There's so many things I want to tell you but I can't, so I'll just say this…."

He paused for a moment before continuing

"I'm glad you're here with me" he whispered, "I'm glad we've found each other. It's only been a short time but I feel that you're my saving grace. I love you…."

He realised then that he had never said that to another person in his whole life, but Cosette was a very special child, perhaps the closest thing he would ever have to a real love.

He smiled again at her. "You just sleep now; I'll see you in the morning". He whispered, before leaning over her and kissing her gently on the forehead. An act of fatherly love he'd never had the chance to do before she came into his life.

"Happy new year Cosette" he whispered finally, before leaving her to sleep peacefully through the night.

The End