Longing For This Life Unlived
Disclaimer: Nope, unfortunately I'm not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own Harry Potter (though, I wish I did).
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The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. --Unknown
She stood in front of Voldemort, determined and proud. Determined not to die, determined to live. She couldn't die, not now, when they had gotten this far. The battled had raged on for what seemed like an eternity, never seeming to end. Only the best Death Eaters had remained, and even they were having a hard time trying to survive. She was wounded badly, long scratches across her face and a deep wound on her left shoulder. She was bruised all over from falling to the floor with every curse that hit her. She was still strong, though. Because she had hope. Hope that they would make it through this all. Hope that they would win.
"So your the Mudblood, aren't you? Oh yes, I've heard lots about you. Potter's friend...maybe something more, hmmm?"
"Oh, I've heard of you too. Voldemort, if I remember correctly, no? Sadistic murderer and the reason for this living hell we're living in now." Harry playing Quidditch, Harry protecting her from Grawp. Thoughts of him were filling her mind.
He laughed softly. "Yes, yes, correct. I am a sadistic killer, like you said, and I'm going to kill you, Mudblood. But first tell me about your relationship with Potter, for I would dearly like to know. Friends, you say? Lovers, maybe? What is it, hmmm?"
"I don't talk to brutal murderers," she hissed furiously.
"And I don't often make it a habit to talk to Mudbloods either." he replied lazily.
"You're a half blood yourself." Hermione said without thinking.
Anger flared in his inhuman eyes before he replied calmly, "I may be a half blood, but I am powerful. Power is everything."
"Power is for those without love. It seems so real, but in the end it's just an illusion. Power gets you no where, it leads you only to your own self destruction." she spat.
"Then where does love lead you, you filthy Mudblood?"
"Love is light and hope, even in the darkest of times and places. See this," she gestured to the chaos around them, "love is what they're fighting for, love is what's keeping them strong. Love is what's keeping them from giving up and abandoning all hope." His smile, his laugh, the safety of his arms. She shook her head. Why did she feel like she was remembering him for the last time? She wasn't going to die. She wasn't. Those words repeated themselves like a mantra in her head.
"You're in love with Potter," he said plainly. It wasn't a question, but a statement.
"I'm not." she lied fiercely.
"Oh, but you are, Mudblood. You're forgetting that I am excellent at Legilimency. I know everything you're thinking right now. You're thoughts are filled with him. Don't deny it, you know it's true."
'It is true. It's what I'm fighting for.' she thought.
Voldemort laughed cruelly. "Never take life too seriously. No one escapes it alive, anyway. You're going to die. Forget about him, Mudblood. You were not meant be be."
Hermione felt her insides boil with rage. She still said nothing, however, and gazed at him fiercely.
He let out another chilling laugh. "Tell me, Mudblood, would you die for him? Would you sacrifice your own life so he could live?"
Hermione gritted her teeth and still remained silent. She was loosing hope rapidly, she knew the end was coming.
"You would. You'd do it now. If I sent a Killing Curse his way, you'd jump right in front of him."
She hated the way he was right. The way he was seeing straight through her. She hated the way life was so cruel. She hated that she was going to die any second now. Without saying goodbye. To him, to everyone.
"I'm going to kill you now, Mudblood." he sneered. "Sad, isn't it? How your life was so short? Had you lived, you would've had a wonderful life. Cruel, no? You'll die now, always knowing of the life you could have lived."
Hermione's fury burst through the surface, with such ferocity that she had never known before. Without and control over her actions or words, her anger and tears blinding her, she screamed, "Crucio!"
Voldemort blocked the spell easily and lifted his wand. Her heart was beating faster then ever. This was it, this was the end. She would never see him again, she would never be able to tell him that she loved him. She bit her lip hard, she could feel her teeth digging into her flesh, but right now she didn't care. Voldemort was cruel, indeed, more then anyone could ever imagine. Hermione, however, realized what he was doing: he wasn't causing her any physical pain, but he was torturing her emotionally. He knew of all the regrets she had and he was using them against her. But she wouldn't show him she was in pain, no. Flashes of him passed through her mind, like an old movie in slow motion. Harry hugging her tightly after Dumbledore's death, Harry shielding her from curses at the Department of Mysteries, Harry talking to her, comforting her.
"Always cling to that last bit of hope, Hermione. Never give up, be strong and carry on. It's all you can do. Carry on, until there's no hope left."
Unwanted tears slid mercilessly down her face, like broken pearls from the deep pit of the ocean. She had carried on, done all she could, but she couldn't deny it now. There was no hope left.
The world seemed to be spinning in slow motion as Voldemort pointed his wand at her.
"Avada-"
Death was coming, she could feel to coldness of it against her skin. She closed her eyes and was swept away, not in memories, but in glimpses of a life unlived. A life she could have had.
It was pouring with rain, the night after Voldemort had been defeated. His arms were around her and she was kissing him repeatedly, soft, sweet kisses.
"I love you." she told him.
"I love you, too, Hermione. More then you could ever know." he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.
It was their wedding day and she was standing at the end of the aisle beside Harry. She was a beautiful bride, with her hair in ringlets and clad in an elegant white gown with sparkling rhinestones all over.
"You may kiss the bride." the minister said.
Harry put a hand on her cheek and kissed her softly, full of love. She smiled through their kiss as everyone cheered.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" said Ron, slinging an arm around both Harry and Hermione's necks. "I give you Harry and Hermione Potter!"
Hermione smiled radiantly as Harry kissed her again. And for the first time, she felt complete.
They sat by the fireplace in their lovely new house, Hermione leaning her head against his shoulder.
"Harry." she broke the comfortable silence.
"What's up, Hermy?" he asked, smiling.
She frowned. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call be that before you'll actually listen?"
"Oh, I'd say a fair few thousand times should do the trick." he playfully tugged at one of her curls.
She shook her head and asked, "guess what?"
"You finally found a solution to cure your snoring problems?" he joked.
"I don't snore!" she huffed, folding her arms.
"I'm only kidding, love." he kissed her forehead.
"I know." she replied. She took a deep breath before saying, "Harry, I have to tell you something really important."
He frowned. "What's wrong?"
"It's good news!" she said, smiling.
"Tell me!" he persisted.
"No." she said, sticking her tongue out. "You have to wait until tomorrow now, for calling me 'Hermy.'"
"Oh, come on! Please!" he looked at her with puppy eyes.
She laughed, how could she resist that look? "Alright, fine. I'll tell you." she said, and then stayed silent, wanting to make him wait just a few minutes longer.
"What? Aren't you gonna tell me?" he asked impatiently.
She laughed. "Harry, I'm pregnant!"
Harry's jaw dropped. "Is it true?" he asked in a hushed voice.
She smiled and nodded. "Every word of it."
A wide grin spread across his face, and he laughed happily, a warm, joyful laugh that made her feel fuzzy inside. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her tenderly.
"You're going to be a father." she whispered. "You'll be a great one, I know you will."
"And you'll be an amazing mother." he replied back.
"I'll try my hardest." she said with a soft smile.
Harry poked at her stomach, grinning childishly. "Can you feel that?" he asked.
"Of course I can."
"What is it?"
"It's a baby." she giggled.
"No, I thought it was an elephant." he rolled his eyes. "Girl or boy?"
"I don't know, Harry. I only found out yesterday."
"When is it going to be born?"
"The doctor is saying sometime in June."
"Such a long wait!"
"What would you like to name it Harry?"
"Harry Jr."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Why did I even bother asking? Something other then Harry Jr."
"Fine, if it's a boy..." he thought for a moment.
"How would you like James and Lily?" she whispered.
He smiled gently at her. "Sounds wonderful." and he pressed his lips to hers once more.
James Harry Potter was born on a beautiful warm day on the eleventh of June. He had Harry's messy black hair and green eyes, but his mouth nose, and overall features were the same as Hermione's.
"He's wonderful." Harry whispered in awe as he bent down to kiss his wife's forehead.
"Would you like to hold him?" Hermione asked.
He gaped at her. "H-hold him? How? I can't...I'd break him."
Hermione laughed. "No, you won't. Here you go." she placed the baby in his arms, adjusting his hand so it would support his head.
"See! You didn't break him! You're a natural, Harry!" she beamed.
"Isn't he lovely?" Harry whispered again, kissing his forehead and smiling brightly.
"He is." agreed Hermione. She smiled at Harry's fascination with the baby, he would be such a great father. She was so happy for him, for he finally had what he was deprived of all his life. A family.
"-Kedavra!" the green light that flew from the wand seemed to take an age to meet her. She watched it as it made it's way towards her, too slow and too fast at the same time. She wanted to scream, desperate for someone to save her, but no sound came out. She wanted to tell him that he loved her, she wanted to be with him forever, but those were all broken dreams now, as the green light came closer and closer. It was only an inch away from her now. It was cruel how she had to die so young, cruel how she lived such a half-life, cruel how her chance to be with him was stolen away from her so ruthlessly. Cruel how she longed for that life unlived even though it could never be.
'There has been so much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.' she thought bitterly before her world went black.
"Don't be afraid of death, be afraid of the unlived life."
-- Tuck Everlasting, Natalie Babbit
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Author's Note: Well, finished! It's quite different from anything I've written before, but I had lots of fun.
Oh yeah, this quote: 'There has been so much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.' was from Mark Twain. I love that last Natalie Babbit quote, it was from a really amazing book, Tuck Everlasting. I really recommend it!
If you liked it, or if you have any suggestions, constructive criticism, etc...then please leave a review!