I have nothing really to say
But tell me if you think this is somthing you would like to read
I do not own Naruto
if i did, Deidara would be alive
"WELCOME TO THE FIRST KONOHA DICK CONTEST"
"Not so loud. We don't want anybody to hear us"
"Right my bad. Roll call. Choji"
"Mppmmff"
"Don't talk with your mouth full but whatever. Gaara"
"…meh..."
"Why is he here? He's not from the village"
"Naruto invited him"
"I finally get some vacation time from being kazekage and this is what I'm doing?"
"…Kiba"
"Here"
"Lee"
"I AM PRESENT!"
"…okay. Naruto"
"Here and ready to win"
"Yeah right dobe"
"Shut up Sasuke"
"Both of you stop. Neji"
"I'm here. But why I don't know"
"Sai"
"Present"
"Sasuke"
"Over here"
"Shikamaru…That's me and Shino"
"He's behind Kiba"
"Right well let's get started.
How did it come to this I wonder? It all started a couple weeks ago when we were hanging out at a bar together. Somehow we got on the subject of dicks (the sake helped I think) and how big we all were and somehow in the mist of am alcohol induced haze we decided to have a contest to see whose dick was the biggest. When I heard Gaara had some time off, I told him to come, but I didn't tell him about the contest until after he arrived. I found a lot of sand in my shorts the next few days and it wasn't pleasant.
So here we are getting ready to face off. Shikamaru said he'd take care of everything, he even found this spot in the forest far from the village where nobody would find us.
"First I must explain the rules"
"What rules? We just shove a ruler on our dicks and compare"
"But that would be boring Sasuke, so I invented a new way to do this, a more interesting way. First we partner up and face off against that person, biggest dicks move on and so on and so forth until we have a winner"
"And this face off thing doesn't use a ruler"
"Very good Naruto. Now to compare the opponents get hard, then put their dicks right up next to each other, then compare, like if the tip of one is touching the other person, but that other person's dick leaves a gap, we know who's bigger"
"That's so gay"
"What do you think this whole thing is Kiba? It was your suggestion in the first place"
"…grumble…..sake….grumble…"
"Great, then let's draw for the first round. Clothes off everybody. Oh and one more thing. There's a penalty for losing a round"
"What is it?"
"The person who eliminated you gets to fuck you up the ass"
"WHAT!?" came from everybody(yes even Shino talked)
Everybody was standing around naked, not so discreetly checking out the competition. Shikamaru pulled two names out of a hat.
"The first round is Sasuke and…me"
Tell me what you think