Okay. So I altered some of the stuff that bothered me. It's more me being nit-picky about my writing than anything else.
Disclaimer: Twilight, New Moon, and now Eclipse are all the property of Stephenie Meyer.
Preface
"You really shouldn't have followed me out here, you know," I say, almost in a tone of regret. Humans trust far too easily. Even when they know better.
"Oh, really?" he replies huskily. Sadly, he's still trying to be seductive. He doesn't seem to realize the danger he put himself in. Not that I would have let him go even if he'd refused the danger. But to him, I'm just an extremely attractive female who wanted to leave with him for a more "private" place.
"Yep," I say curtly, before baring my teeth. I crouch and a slow rumble builds in my chest. I smell the adrenaline running through his system and an excess of venom builds in my mouth with each inhale. He really does smell delicious.
Of course, the poor lamb is absolutely terrified when I reveal my more…animalistic nature. But his fear makes him smell just that much more wonderful. And he smelled wonderful to begin with.
He starts to back off; he hits an alley wall. Wide eyes locked on me in terror, he breaks into a run, and I pounce. Before he can so much as scream, I've snapped his neck and have my teeth sunk into his flesh. His blood tastes better than it smelled—it's nearly always that way.
When I finish, I drop his body in one of the darker corners of the alley. Then I examine my clothes.
Not bad, I congratulate myself. Not a speck of blood anywhere but my lips; I lick it off. Luscious.
My eyes a more intense crimson, I walk into the night.
Please push the pretty periwinkle button. You know you want to...