Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own original ideas. Unfortunately I don't own Alex, Ellie, Paige, or anything else Degrassi-related. The lyrics are owned by Taking Back Sunday.

-The Things We'll Never Know-

So as his eyes move past your shoulder,
And your shades start moving in the same direction.
Don't worry I, well I won't say a thing.
And you can't blame a girl for stickin' to what she knows.

Alex swallowed roughly, her teeth chattering in the cool nighttime weather. She gazed at the fire blazing several feet away from her and shivered as she heard it crackle. What was she doing here? This place, this horrible place, where people came to feel something when they couldn't feel anything else... The place where Jay had hooked up with a countless amount of girls when they had been dating. The place where she'd been cheated on. But what Jay had done to her didn't matter anymore. What mattered was Paige, and how she'd run straight into her ex-boyfriends arms the moment they broke up. It made bile rise to her throat. How could Paige have done this? She had to have known it would hurt Alex immensely, and it did. Paige was the entire reason Alex was in this place she hated. She was so upset about everything and hadn't fought it when Jay had asked her to come here. She'd quickly agreed, but once there disappeared, not wanting to talk to anyone. She wanted to be alone, and somehow Jay couldn't get it through his thick skull that she wasn't interested in him. There was no way in hell she was going to make that mistake twice. It wasn't like she had feelings for him anymore, or any real feelings at all for that matter. She'd already cried her heart out, and now was simply left with that numb feeling.

Alex wasn't thinking clearly as she walked towards the fire, yanking a bottle of whiskey from some guy's grip. As she retreated away from him and into the woods he shouted in protest, but she didn't care. She ignored him, bringing the bottle to her lips and letting it wash over her like a strong tide, threatening to push her over. She gulped it down quickly, shuddering as the taste of whiskey filled her mouth, the scent quickly rising to her nostrils. Alex coughed before continuing to mindlessly swallow more of the alcohol that burned her throat. This was all Paige's fault. She'd done this to her, made her sick to her stomach with sadness. Alex threw the bottle onto the ground and it landed with a crash, breaking into a million jagged pieces. Alex laughed then, the sound so strange and foreign in her throat. She leaned down, picking up one of the shards and examining it in her hands. She ran its' sharp edges over her fingers, wincing slightly as it drew blood. Then she smirked, rolling up her jacket sleeve and bringing the shard against her arm. She clenched her jaw, desperately wanting to cry out as she dug the object into her skin. She clutched her arm afterwards, staring at it in disbelief. God, what had she become? She'd always preached that cutting yourself was the fool's way out and here she was doing the very same thing she'd lectured about. Since when was Alex a fool? She drew in a breath, dropping the bloody makeshift weapon onto the ground and standing, feeling woozy. Her eyes were still focused on her arm, slick with blood, and her vision started getting blurry. She took a shirt out of her backpack, gingerly wrapping it around her now injured arm and beginning to walk, vowing to go wherever her legs took her.

It was awhile before she arrived anywhere, and once Alex reached her destination she stood in front of the door, nervously trying to decided whether or not to knock. Before she got the chance to choose, the door opened.
"Alex?" Alex frowned as her eyes met a familiar pair of brown ones. Those eyes filled with worry when she glimpsed Alex's bloody arm, and the girl pulled her inside without another word.

"What did you do to your arm?" Ellie exclaimed in surprise as they came inside, unwrapping the now soaked shirt. "Nevermind that, let's just get you cleaned up." Ellie might have noticed the familiar stench of alcohol on Alex's breath, but if she did, she didn't mention it. Ellie led her friend to the bathroom, washing the bloodied arm and rinsing the deep cut with peroxide. Alex yelped out in pain, biting her lip and grabbing Ellie's hand for stability. The redhead frowned as she wrapped her friend's wound in gauze, still so surprised because of what Alex had done to herself. She was speculating that Alex had done this, though it didn't make much sense. Alex had given her a countless amount of anti-cutting speeches and Ellie never imagined Alex would engage in something like this. It was totally out of character for her. The cutting and the alcohol both hinted that something bad must have happened. But what on earth would Alex have this kind of reaction to? As Ellie wondered this, she realized that even though she and Alex were friends, she really didn't know all that much about her.

The two of them quietly sat down on Ellie's bed, Alex with her eyes wide and rimmed with tears and Ellie, quietly pondering the current situation. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, it was Ellie who spoke first: "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked slowly, her voice dropping below a whisper. Alex shook her head violently in response, pushing a strand of raven colored hair out of her eyes. Ellie nodded in understanding, inching closer to her friend and hesitating before pulling her arms around the obviously damaged girl. By this time Alex couldn't hold it in anymore. She was rocking with sobs, tears cascading down her face. Ellie resisted the urge to cry as she held her friend close, trying desperately to console her.

After crying for almost an hour and a half, Alex slid under the covers and closed her eyes, too exhausted to stay awake any longer. Ellie reached out her hand and touched the girl's face, watching as the older girl fell into a peaceful slumber. Ellie gave her a kiss on the forehead and also slid under the covers and closed her eyes, but not to sleep. She'd been on her way out when she'd opened the front door and Alex had been standing there. She obviously couldn't leave now. Ellie had been getting ready to go get lunch and then drop by this group meeting she'd heard about. She shrugged away her disappointment; she could go next week, it wasn't that important. Alex was in trouble and in order for Ellie to be a good friend, she had to be there for her. With a self-satisfied smile, Ellie put her arm around her friend, moving her body closer to hers. Alex didn't resist. She turned around, eyes still closed, pressing her body against Ellie's. Ellie was startled when she felt Alex's quivering lips over her own.

"Paige," Alex mumbled, caressing Ellie's face before opening her eyes and gazing at her, taken aback when she realized what she had just done. "Oh, God. Ellie, I'm so sorry. I was dreaming." Alex sat up quickly, pulling her legs to her chest. She felt ashamed, heat rising to her face. If she hadn't got so caught up...
Ellie smiled grimly, trying to reassure Alex. "It's fine."

"I...I thought you were Paige." Alex admitted, embarrassed.
"Last time I checked, I wasn't blonde," Ellie grinned, but the grin faded quickly when she realized something. "Is that what this is about? Paige? What did she do to you? I'll kill her." Ellie rose, stepping out of the room angrily. She'd put up with Paige for a long time, but this was taking it a step too far. She never let anyone mess with her friends. Alex followed Ellie out of the room, tightly grabbing her by the arm.
"Down, girl." Alex managed a weak smile before continuing. "Stop. This was about Paige, but it was stupid. I was stupid. I should have known better than to drink when I'm upset. There's no reason for you to resort to homicide."
"Okay. But if that changes, let me know." Ellie winked, and Alex let out a laugh.

"Will do. So, do you have psychic powers or what? You opened the door right when I was getting ready to knock. That's wicked." Alex raised an eyebrow.
"Nah. I was getting ready to leave." Ellie replied.
"Oh. Well, I'm sorry I bothered you. I should probably go anyway." Alex gathered up her stuff and slowly made her way to the front door.
"Alex?" Ellie called out. Alex turned around, her full attention on Ellie. "I was going to this group. It started a little bit ago, but I still want to go. You can come with me if you'd like." Alex shrugged. It wasn't like she had anything better to do. If she went home her mom would undoubtedly be there with the scumbag of the week, and she didn't feel like dealing with that right now. So she surrendered, a weak smile appearing on her face as they began their walk to the recreation center where the meeting was being held.

Forget your legs around my hips.
Forget your hands pressed on my back.
Forget the letters that I kept.
This is another I won't send.
Forget your lips, your eyes, your thighs.
Forget our one last kiss goodnight.
Forget me stakin' out your house.
Forget I've got you figured out...

Author's Note: Hope you like it. Please review. This is a heavier piece I've been working on. I've been trying lately to be more descriptive, so this story is sort of an experiment to see how much better my writing can become. I'm not entirely sure what direction it's going in. It might end up being Elex, Palex, or even Pellie (don't assume just because of the kiss that it's Elex). It might not end up having romance in it at all. I'm just not sure right now.