Silverella

by Chachi96

Silver works day and night, night and day at Pizza Hut. Vector and Shadow treat him like crap, so it's only fair he should get to go to the wild party Shadow is thowing tonight, right? With help from the "Zim-fairy", he might just get what he "wished" for. He also may ruin his already miserable life.

So, this is the Silverella story I keep telling you all about. Obviously, it's a parody. To be more specific, it's done in the universe of Shadow759 from Youtube, because I freaking love that guy! Basically, he has Silver working at Pizza Hut because SEGA no longer feautures him in any games. Vector runs Pizza Hut, and treats Silver like crap. Shadow is an asshole, and also treats Silver like crap. Blaze is the object of Silver's affections, Rouge sounds like a drag-queen, Knuckles is legally retarded, Espio sounds like a Mexican, etc. Warning: This story may extremely offend some people. I would rate the story as M, except there's nothing sexual or really even particularly graphic or violent. Just the language, drinking, partying, and smoking. That is why it will remain rated T. My Little Pony and Invader Zim are referenced throughout the story, but not enough that I would consider this to be a crossover. Regadless, if anyone believes that this story should be rated M, or changed to a crossover, there's the door.

I'm totally joking. Actually, I want you to let me know how you feel about those subjects. I don't own My Little Pony or Invader Zim, and neither does SEGA. They can cry and scream all they want.

---

Once upon a horrible time, there was a hedgehog named Silverella.

"That's me!" Silver waved.

Well, his name was actually Silver, but, eh, well, listen to the story and maybe you'll figure out a lot of things.

"Oh?"

Like why his head looks like a marijuana plant.

"WHAT?!" Silver screeched in disbelief.

Anyways, Silverella lived in a small, broken-down old shanty on the end of a rather seedy section of town. Crime-ridden, mostly black neighborhood-

"Hey!" Shadow walked in and flipped the bird at the sky. Oh, you think just because I'm the narrator I automatically live in the sky? Hah! Shows how much you know. Well anyway, you get the idea. You see, Silverella, obviously, was a broke-ass punk.

"Hey!" Silver also pointed a finger at the sky "You promised that if I agreed to be the butt-end of your story, you'd pay me 10 dollars and have no cussing in the story-YOU PROMISED!"

Shut up, cracker ass. Now, Silver, in order to pay the bills and put food on the table for his poor, sick unicorn sister, Rarity-

"OUTRAGEOUS!" Rarity cut the narrator off. "Me? A beautiful mare such as myself-dressing in these-these RAGS?! I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO COMMENCE WITH THIS TOM-FOOLERY!"

Somebody get the pony under control...

"You got it!" Vector says as he helps Espio drag the livid unicorn off the scene.

Thank goodness. Silver, in order to support his sick sister, was forced to work long hours, minimum wage, naturally, at the local Pizza Hut that was run by big business tycoon Vector T. Crocodile. Now, in addition to owning the entire Pizza Hut chain, Vector also ran the local, ever-popular 'Vector's Juice Bar' that was a high-class social end for the wealthy and famous-and, if you stick around long enough, may be treated to a little something, a tad STRONGER than juice-

"HEY!" Vector growled, motioning to his boys. Charmy unsheathed his stinger while Espio took a ninja stance. "Watch what your guts spill, Mister!"

Sorry! It's just hard to really believe that Mobius is still under probation laws...Oh yeah. Also, Vector ran his own detective agency. He was wealthy by Mobian terms. Loved by all...well, everyone except Silverella.

"No kiddin" Silver frowned, wiping off the counter at Pizza Hut. For some reason or another, clad in a frilly pink apron.

"Why?" one may ask? Well you see, Vector was extremely cheap, and aside from Charmy and Espio, Silver was his only hired help. Now, Charmy and Espio were rather good friends with the crocodile, and really only worked at the detective agency-leaving

Silver to do all of the dirty work: Cleaning the counters, tables, floors, toilets,

"Ugh..." Silver walked into the bathroom, armed with a plunger, can of air freshener, and a roll of paper towels. "OH GOD! OH MY—" he gagged.

Sigh, poor Silverella. Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you how he got that name. Uhhhhhh-

"Allow me to explain!" Vector cutted in and gratuitously offered.

~*FLASHBACK*~

"You see, one day, I was making my rounds to see how all my businesses were going"

Flashback Vector walks up to the Pizza Hut entrance, and yanks on the handle. "-I walk up to Pizza Hut and find the doors locked!"

And that's a bad thing?

"Well we NEVER close our doors! I mean, do the customers ever stop wanting pizza?"

Well-

"ANYWAYS, the doors were locked, and I could hear music blaring from the building." Vector sneaks up to a window and looks inside "I peered into a window, and saw the little white booger SLACKING OFF!"

Inside the restaurant, one would see Silver. A spatula is his microphone, the world is his audience. He is dancing around wildly, and singing off-key.*

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like,

it's better than yours,

damn right,

it's better than yours I could teach you—

but I'd have to char—" Vector unlocks the door and it swings open,

revealing his angry face. Red-faced and ashamed, Silver, who has stopped singing, tries to find the right words to say. "Umm-uh...yeah..."

"So of course, a whole 'gay schpill' ensued and eh well, the name just-stuck!" Vector finished.

I see...

~*END FLASHBACK*~

"And now everybody teases me about it!" Silver explained, a bit distressed "I mean come on! Do you seriously think that I'm the only person on this

planet that has fantasies?!"

Everyone was silent for a moment-

"Silver," Vector said in a warning tone of voice "shut your ass up and get back to work-or else it's the oven punishment for you!"

"AIEE! N-n-n-n not the OVEN PUNISHMENT!" He quickly resumed wiping off tables, counters, and various other chores.

"That's more like it. AAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Vector laughs along with Charmy and Espio.

However, silence doesn't last very long around here.

Shadow walked into Pizza Hut, and all of the customers clapped and cheered. "Thank you, thank you."

Ah, Shadow-smart, brave, cunning, devious, handsome, pompous, arrogant, sadistic, schizophrenic-

"Okay, okay," Shadow whipped out a pistol and held it up to the ceiling. "that's enough outta you."

Yes sir.

"Ah, Shadow! My favorite customer!" The green crocodile patted Shadow on the back. "What brings you this way?"

"Eh, you know, the usual...SILVER!"

"Yes, Shadow?" Silver asked in a monotonous tone of voice. He's gotten quite used to Shadow's extremely extravagant orders for pizza by this point.

"I've got a huge, gigantic, buttload of an order to fill-even bigger than usual!" Shadow began.

"How can this even be possible?" Silver questioned.

"I'm having a party at my house—" Shadow then turned to everyone seated in the Pizza Hut "in fact, all of you are invited!" The crowd cheered in adoration. What they see in him may remain a mystery for all of eternity.

"A party?" Silver repeated Shadow's words.

Shadow calmly examined his nails. He can see them, even though he's wearing gloves. He's just cool like that. "Yeah."

"Cool!" Silver smiled "I can't wait!"

"Who the heck said you—" he paused to poke Silver's nose "were invited?"

"b-b-b-b-but you just said everyone in the restaurant was invited!" Silver stammered over his words.

"What I clearly said, if you had been listening, was everyone except you."

"W-what?" Silver exclaimed "No you didn't!"

"Isn't it sad, everyone?" Shadow sighed dramatically "Silver is so poor, he can't even pay attention!" the lunch crowd crowed hysterically.

"Vector!" Silver turned to his dictator of a boss "Can't I go to the party?!"

"Well erm-uh-um, it's uh, really none of my business what my customers do outside of the premises of the building! Tck! So sorry Silverella!" Vector shrugged and gave an apologetic smile to the white hedgehog before turning to the black one. " Psst! I'm still on the guest list, right?

"Of course! You're like the first person listed under 'V'...you're the-only person listed under 'V'..." Shadow realized.

"Cool beans!" Shadow gave the crocodile a look when he said this "That's what all the kids are saying nowadays, right?"

Shadow was silent for a moment, the look still etched onto his face, then changed the subject "You're taking care of the liquor, right?"

"You betcha!" The croc gave a thumbs up "Heheheh, oh I'm bringin' all the good stuff! I got Espio down in the cellar hard at work right now!"

"Excellent." Shadow rubbed his hands together while Silver just stood there at the counter, agape at the conversation that had just been exchanged.

"Buh-wha-this is so unfair! Why does everyone in the whole wide world besides me get to go off and have fun?!"

"Good God, Silver! Quit your hideous whining! It's starting to give me a migrane." The hedgehog pinched the top of his nose and closed his eyes.

"Tell you what, Silver..." Vector leaned in and gave Shadow a knowing wink "If you can finish Shadow's order all by yourself before it's time for the party, then you can go!"

"Wha-t-that's it?! That'll be easy! I have to do that all the time with no extra endorsement whatsoever! Shadow's party, here I come!" And with that, Silver rushed into the kitchen to get started as fast as he could. As soon as he disappeared from view, you could hear the screaming and rattling around of pots and pans. Assuring Vector and Shadow he had once again stumbled into something and made yet another mess he would have to clean up.

Three hours later...

"So then," Shadow continued on with some long, boring story while Vector snoozed in a chair across from the table they were sitting at—not paying a bit of attention to just what Shadow was going on about. It was okay, though. Shadow just needs to think someone is listening to him. "he says to me-right to my face—"

"JOY!" Silver rushed out of the kitchen with a pizza box, grinning from ear-to-ear. "I finished the last one! All I have to do is load it into U-Haul #00Z!"

"The hell?!" Vector's chair fell backwards while Shadow stood up in surprise. "You finished making all of those pizzas in under three hours?!"

"Yup!" Silver brushed his hands off, proud of his accomplishment. "Better start closing up the shop, Vector, I have to go home and get ready."

"Umm, maybe I'm missing something here-which I'm probably not, but who said you ever got permission to go to my party?!" The dark hedgehog demanded to know.

Silver looked at him, a confused and innocent expression on his face. "Y-you said I could go if I finished the order before it was time for the party to start?"

"Correction:" Shadow, by golly, was about to correct him for the 56th time today "I didn't say that-your boss did. And he is not in control over who does and doesn't get to go to my party—" he paused to smirk "I am. And I still say you can't go."

"But..." Silver's eyes began to well up with tears "but you-you said..."

"SILVER!" The poor little white hedgehog turned to face his boss.

"Yes Sir?!"

"How many times do I have to tell my employees that if they're too emotionally stressed to work to STAY AT HOME!?" Silver's eyes turned to slits, obviously irked by what his boss had just said.

"You never let me have any vacation time! If I was even three minutes late to work you'd fire me on the spot!"

"I-oh yeah...well then QUIT YOUR CRYING AND GET BACK TO WORK! YOU HAVE THE NIGHT SHIFT JUST FOR MAKING A SCENE!" spit flew into Silver's face.

"That's nothing new." He scoffed.

"Oh yeah-I-I mean QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! THERE ARE CUSTOMERS WAITING FOR THEIR PIZZA!" So maybe Vector was getting a little forgetful in his old age. That doesn't mean his employees should have to know.

"Ohhhh..." Silver moaned. Turning around, he slipped on a piece of cheese and falls face-first into a box of anchovies. "AAAAAAAAUGH!" The people in the restaurant guffawed at his screams of pain "I'M ALLERGIC TO ANCHOVIES!"

Poor, poor Silverella. What on earth will become of him? And why would he work at a place that offers anchovies as a topping if he's allergic to them?

Silver scowled "I have been made a very desperate hedgehog."

"Okay, Silver. I'll be around to check up on you around midnight-just to make sure you're doing your job right-Toodles!" Vector, Espio and Charmy sped out the door and into Vector's Rolls Royce. So what if they showed up unfashionably early to the party? It was a joy just being away from that hedgehog.

"Nothing ever works out in my favor..." Silver said in realization "Why, if it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..." Suddenly feeling another urge to sing, He forlornly pressed a button on a cassette player. Music filled the now-completely empty restaurant as he began to sing.**

"Theeeeee sun will come ouuuuuut,

tomorrow,

bet your bottom dollar that tomorrooooooow, there'll be suuuuuuuUn!

Just—"

"AUGH! must the pitiful beings on this wretched planet burst into SONG every five minutes?!" Silver looked and saw a little green creature with insect eyes and antennae. He was dressed in a puffy tu-tu and held a wand of some sort that was hooked up to a cord. The other end of the cord was attatched to a machine that was being pushed in by a smelly green dog.

"AUGH! AN ALIEN! Silver screamed and dove behind the counter.

Zim looked around the room "What? Whooooo?! I-don't be silly little pathetic worm-child, I'm no ALIEN! I'm-your fairy godmother!" Silver seems to look him over a second time before responding.

"But, you're a guy. Wouldn't that make you my fairy godfather?" He pointed out to the little green…thing.

"SILENCE! You DARE to question the POWERS of your fairy godfather?! Perhaps I shall grant your wish to someone who BELIEVEEEEEES!" Zim wiggled his claws, dragging out the 'E.'

"Wish? You're gonna grant me a wish?!" Silver looked at him with a hopeful…look.

Zim didn't bother to look up at his looks from the large book of fairytales that he was looking at. "That's what the fairy godmother-things DO, isn't it?"

"NO HE'S NOOOOOOT!"

"BE QUIET!" In a rage, Zim threw his book at GIR, who cleverly swallowed it whole and giggled. "Now then, tell the Zim-fairy your hearts' deepest wishes and desiresssssss."

Again, he drew out the last letter in his sentence.

Silver thought all of this over. "Um, well, I'd really like to go to Shadow's party, but, he said that I couldn't go-also, Vector is making me work the midnight shift at Pizza Hut."

"Hmm, that's easy enough." Zim turned to the dog-thing. "GIR! power the evil Fairy-wand of DOOOOOOOOOM!"

"OKIE DOKIE!" the dog did as it was told and flipped a switch on the machine. A sudden surge of electricity flowed through the cord leading up to the wand. When reaching it, Zim began flailing around helplessly as he was electrocuted.

"DGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIYE!" He screeched, obviously in pain. Once the electrocution ceased, he cleared his throat, and flicked a small switch on the wand, as well.

And with a wave of his magic electricity, Zim granted Silver his wish.

POOF!

Silver closed his eyes, then opened them. "Huh, I don't—feel any different and oh my GOD I'M A GIRL!" Looking in a nearby mirror, to his horror, his Pizza Hut

uniform had been transformed into a blue halter top with rhinestones on it and a matching sash, and a black skirt that ended just above the knees. His hair was now long and fluffery, and he had on make-up. His boots have turned into gold pumps with his usual cyan design on them. Is pretty, no?

"EXCELLENT!" the Zim-fairy screamed.

"NO! NO NOT 'EXCELLENT!' WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY OR SOMETHING YOU SICKO, HUH?! I WANTED TO GO TO SHADOW'S PARTY NOT LITERALLY TURN INTO SILVERELLA!" Silver groaned at his predicament.

"He's puuuuuuuuuuurty!" that little green puppy just had to chime in.

"DO NOT QUESTION THE ZIM-FAIRY'S METHODS! Besides, how do you expect to just waltz right into the Shadow-filth's party without being recognized?! A girl of your species type is the PERFECT DISGUISE!"

Silver sighed in defeat. As much as he hated to admit it, the Zim-fairy had a point. "Okay, fine. I guess as long as I have fun, it doesn't really matter. But how am I going to get there? I don't own a car."

"I'll have GIR drive you over in a highly-fashionable limousine—" Zim waved this matter off as if it were no big deal "Anything else I need to fix?"

"Uuuum..." Silver thought a moment "Oh yeah! Vector is going to check on me at 12:00, so I'll need to be back by then."

"Done. GIR will drive the limousine back to this location at approximately midnight. And just in case something goes horribly wrong and you're stuck in cyberspace for all of eternity, I'll stay here and cover for you. Sound good?"

"Perfect!" Silver, for once in a very very long time in his life, felt happy for a change. "...Why are you doing all of this for me?"

"Hm? Oh...well, lets just say, this is kind of a—" Zim was interrupted by Dib breaking a window and rolling inside the restaurant.

"AHA! ZIM!" Dib started his sentence addressed to Zim "Up to no good again I see-AH!" interrupted by a sudden horrible stinging sensation he looks behind him to see broken glass shards sticking out of his back. "Aw man..."

"For your information DIB-MONKEY, I was just helping this hedgehog get to a party he so DESIRES to go to! Y'see?! I can be nice...sometimes." Zim said, tapping his two index fingers together. Dib merely circled around him, snapping pictures of the alien.

"I don't really care what you're doing, Zim. Right now, I have enough photographic evidence to prove to everyone in the whole wide world what you really, really are!" After claiming this, he runs out of the Pizza Hut.

"...O...kay? No worries-now LEEEEEEEEAVE!" Zim pushes Silverella into a limousine conveniently waiting outside for him, and GIR drives off screaming into the night.***"Heheheh...eeeeeverything is working just perfectly..." He mused to himself as he picked up a piece of pizza and bit into it. "Mhm...what..." taking notice of the slight spicyness of the pizza, Zim looks down at the slice. To his horror, huge chunks of meat are sticking out of the pizza, and his mouth is now on fire. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, things were really picking up at Shadow's party.

"EVERYBODY PARTYYYYY!" A random dude shouted before chugging a beer and then passing out.

"Shadow!" Amy ran up next to the other hedgehog, dragging an inebriate-looking Sonic behind her. "This party is so great!"

"Oh, Really?" Shadow asked, eyeing Sonic suspiciously.

"Sure! Sonic is wasted! I'm gonna score for sure this time!"

"Guuuuuuh..." Sonic gurgled "Where the hell am I...

"Go upstairs-please. I want no part of this." Shadow covered his eyes.

"Okay!" Amy agreed and drug Sonic up the stairs to the place.

"THIS PARTY NEEDS MORE BOOZE!" Vector announced rather loudly, as he dumped a bucket of God-knows-what kind of moonshine all over the partyers below. The crowd cheered at this, holding their red Solo cups up in the air.

"YO DJ!" Rouge yelled, obviously drunk "TURN THAT MESS UP DAT'S MAH SHIT BRO!"

"You got it!" Said Rainbow Dash, who just happened to be the DJ at this party. She turned up the techno music and people began to dance wildly. ****

"HEY EVERYONE!" Rouge hiccupped "WATCH THIS!" Trying to dance, she slipped on a random ice cube and fell on her butt. "WHO PUT THAT THERE?!" She angrily shouted over everyone laughing at her.

"The bigger they are-the harder they fall!" Shadow commented snarkily, earning some more chuckles from his guests.

Around this time, 'Silverella' made his debute through the open door of Shadow's house.*****

"Gosh, this place is packed!" Silver looks around the place, wide-eyed in wonder.

"Hey maaaaaaan..." Scourge, whose breath reeked of pot, swayed back in forth in Silver's face before falling on his feet.

"Uuuuuuuuuugh! Silver danced around wildly, trying to shake Scourge off. "Now, where is—" He then spots a purple cat, standing on the other side of the room, talking to some other girls. "Blaze..."

"Can I...help you?" Blaze stopped chatting and looked at the strangely familiar-looking white hedgehog that stood before her.

"Wow, Blaze!" Silver finally managed to say something, albeit in an effeminate tone of voice…well, more effeminate than before. "You look so pretty! I-I mean, you always look beautiful, but tonight, you just look—"

"uhhhh...thanks!" The cat managed a smile. "Do I-know you from somewhere—"

"-and I mean," Silver had been babbling on this whole time "I know we're really young and everything but, even if we did get married, it would...be..." He finally stopped talking when he noticed Blaze and all of her friends staring strangely at him.

"...mew..." Moving along with her friends, the lavender cat edged away from poor, unsuspecting Silverella.

"Wait!" Silver exclaimed, trying to chase her through Shadow's crowded house. "Blaze! My love! Come baaaack! Oh what the heck are you THINKING, Silver? You're Silverella! You're a girl! Girls don't ask girls to marry other girls-" The hedgehog stopped when a lesbian couple next to him started passionately making out. "…Or do they?" He then asked himself, his innocent self confused.

Meanwhile, Knuckles was taking advantage of the free bar Shadow had set up—courtesy of Vectors' 'juice' bar. "YO ESPIO!" The chameleon wandered over to Knuckles' side of the counter.

"yeah?"

The echidna slammed his glass down "I wannanother…" He slurred his words.

"Dguh...Knux...I dunno..." beads of sweat began to form on the back of Espios' head "You tend to get kinda-violent, when you get drunk and—" He fell silent when Knuckles angrily grabbed his horn.

"GIMME MY ACKUHAULBEETCH!" The red ones' breath absolutely reeked of alcohol.

"Okay, okay just let go!" Espio was promptly released, and he reluctantly handed over two more shots to Knuckles, who greedily chugged them down.

"...Yo, Shads," He gurgled, nudging his friend, who was sitting next to him "Who's the whitey white chick over dere?" He motioned his three-fingered hand over in Silver's direction, but the black hedgehog paid the drunken fool no mind.

"Yo Espio!" The chameleon was beginning to grow tired of being summoned over to this pair in particular.

"Shadow, you told me to stop after 10, because you didn't want what happened last time to happen...this time." Espio stifled a snicker, remembering what had happened, 'last time.'

~*FLASHBACK*~

"Roses are Red

Violets are blue

I'll be your Romeo

If you'll be my Juliet, Rouge." Shadow slurred from his position on one knee, a doughnut in his hand.

"...Ew, No." The bat started to walk away.

"NOOOOO WAIT!" Shadow hiccupped "You're my soulmate! My inspiration! My everything! Without you, I am nothing! DON'T LEAVE MEEEEE!" He cried whilst clinging to her boot.

"Get off my boot you sick drunk bastard!" Rouge yelled at him before slinging his body into the nearby wall.

"No..." He cried softly to himself "I'm so lonely..."

~*END FLASHBACK*~

Shadow stared into space with an embarrassed look on his face.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" His wasted drinking buddy guffawed.

"Oh can it will ya?!" The laughter snapped the hedgehog out of it "So I turn into a hopeless romantic when I'm tipsy it's no big deal! Least I don't bend Tails in half because of a violent, drunken rage."

"AHA-HEY!" That little yellow prick stole my Twinkie! I know he did..." Knuckles looked around the room like a psycho. If he happened to lay eyes on Tails, well, I shudder to think what might happen.

"...anyway," Espio continued after eyeing Knuckles strangely "No more drinks for you Sha—" Espio was cut off yet again by a gun being shoved into his face. Sighing, he handed more drinks over to the hedgehog "Why do I even bother?"

Shadow downed his drink, then noticed Silver. "Who's that girl over there?" He motioned to her.

Knuckles gulped down another shot "Dunno-swhat I was askin' you earlier."

"Well, then," the hedgehog smirked "I'm about to go find out. Knuckles, guard my drink with your life."

Aye aye, Capt'n Crunch." Knuckles saluted Shadow, then waited until he was out of sight before gulping down his liquor.

"Hey!" Silver was standing in the middle of the dance floor, doing a strange little hop dance. "Quit stepping on my toes!" He looked up when he heard an all-too-familiar voice.

"Well well well, what have we here? I don't remember inviting you?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Ah!" Silver couldn't help but yell in surprise when he saw his tormenter. "I mean-oh-um weeeeell..."

"Crap!" Silver thought to himself "What do I tell him?! He's gonna find out it's me I just know it! Oh no, AAIIE!"

"Uh—" Silver finally spoke up "That guy invited me?" He points to Scourge, who has fallen to the floor, puking violently.

"That's cool." Shadow casually leaned up against the wall "So, having fun?"

"Who? Me?" For the life of him, Silver couldn't figure out why Shadow was having a conversation with him. A conversation that didn't involve self-humiliation and exorbitant pizza orders. "Um, well-yeah, I guess I can't complain." He shrugged. After the whole incident with Blaze he was kind of bummed out.

"Doesn't sound very convincing. Come on, tell me what's on your mind." Shadow coaxed.

Silver looked at him as if he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. "Well, it's just that Blaze thinks I'm weird because-Mph!" He clasped a hand over his own mouth before he could spill any more endangering information.

"Blaze thinks your weird?" Shadow scoffed and then smiled at him. "Don't listen to what other people say about you—you're not weird, so, why should anyone else's opinion matter?"

"Since when did Shadow give such good advice? No no no—since when does Shadow care?" Silver raised his eyebrow. "I—" Silver suddenly found himself being held by Shadow, who was gazing deep into his eyes.

"I don't think you're weird." Shadow said in the most sincere voice Silver thought he'd ever heard. Silver gaped.

"Holy shit! Now I know why he's acting so bat-crazy! Shadow really truly thinks that I'm a girl—and a pretty one! Crap, shit, what do I do?!" Silver struggled to release himself from Shadow's arms.

"What's wrong?" He asked her—I mean him.

"Look-uh, you-you seem—" Silver bit his lip "uh, nice? No, um- WHAT I MEAN IS, I-th-there's somebody I-I mean I—"

"Shhhh." Shadow put his finger over Silver's mouth "Don't speak…" You know, I think I literally saw Silver's eyes buldge out of their sockets when his lips were pressed to Shadows'.

"MMPH!" Silver pulled away and bitch-slapped Shadow across the face. "W-WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! GUH!"

For once in his life, Shadow looked worried. "W-...did I do something wrong?!" He never got an answer—Silver was already halfway towards the door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Wait!" Shadow struggled against the crowd, trying to chase after 'her.' "Come back! I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME!"

Meanwhile, Shadow's ever-supportive friends watched his encounter with the mysterious Silverella from the bar.

"BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" loud laughter from Vector, Espio, Charmy and Knuckles filled the small corner that the bar was located in.

"Shadow's so stupid!" Knuckles yelled, obviously intoxicated to the point of no return at this point. Man, I'd have liked to have seen the hangover he got the next day.

"Poor drunk lovesick fool!" Espio shook his head, still chuckling. Vector was worse than the rest of them.

"AH! AHA!" The crocodile slapped his knee, tears falling from his eyes. "AHAHAHAHAHA! IT HURTS! IT BUUUUURNS! BWEHEHEHEHEH!"

"Yeah, and the best part of it all is," Charmy stopped laughing for a moment to ask ""Doesn't anybody else think that girl kinda look like Silver?" The other three fell silent.

"...NAH!" The four said in unison before started to laugh once more.

"Ehh, well," Vector said, wiping a tear from his eye "It's almost midnight. I gotta go check up on 'Silverella' to make sure she's not goofing off on the job!"

"Okay, Vector-you guys take care out on the road!" Knuckles cautioned.

"Yeah, don't cause any accidents Vex you don't want ANOTHER DUI!" Charmy smirked at his friend, who frowned down upon his small self.

"Oh shut up, Charmy, what do you know anyway?!" He and the other two walked off to his car.

Silver ran out the door and down a few steps, panting heavily. He gasped when he took notice of a random clock tower right outside Shadow's place. " It's almost Midnight! I gotta get back to The Hut before Vector does—"

"WAIT!" Silver froze in horror when he heard that voice. However, when he saw Shadow sprinting towards him, he somehow found the ability to run—but it was too late—Shadow had grabbed onto the other hedgehog's foot.

"LET GO OF ME! WE'RE NOT GOING TO WORK!" Silver freaked out and lost his balance, tubling down the stairs with Shadow still clinging to his leg. When Silver regained his footing, he yanked his foot away, leaving Shadow clutching only his shoe.

"DON'T LEAVE! PLEASE!" Shadow stood up, stumbling around. Hm, maybe all those drinks weren't such a good idea after all. Silver took advantage of Shadow's current condition and dashed to the limousine.

"DRIVE YOU CRAZY THING, DRIVE!" He screeched at GIR, who had been patiently waiting inside the car the whole time.

"OKIE DOKIE!" The little robot chauffer giggled before pressing down hard on the gas pedal. "WHEEEEEEEEEE-HEEEEEEEEE!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"WE'Z GUNNA HAVA DRIVIN PARTY TONIGHT!" He ignored Silvers screams and swerved around on the road, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision

with a cemi-truck at one point. Silver just continued screaming—well, he stopped a couple of times to puke, but other than that, he screamed the whole time. Yeah.

"Boy..." Vector said, casually observing the limousine in front of him on the road "the people up ahead of us are totally wasted! Charmy you're worried about ME causing an accident, you gotta get a load of these guys!"

"Yeah!" Charmy said, leaning up towards the front of the Rolls Royce "I hope they crash! I mean, I've been in limousine crashes plenty of times, but seeing one crash would be TOTALLY AWESOME!"

~*At Pizza Hut*~

"Lets see—" Zim, in the meanwhile, had been biding his time at the restaurant. "Dib should be back with the reporters and scientists in about three...two...one...?!" Zim frowned. "One..." Nothing happened. Zim inhaled his breath deeply. "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooone eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeee—" Dib finally burst through the door, a large crowd in tow. "Aha! I win!" Zim pumped both fists in the air, smiling with glee before returning to his regular scowl.

"AHA! ZIM!" Dib said yet again "Too stupid to leave and hide, I guess?"

"Hm?! Me?! Hide?! From what?!" Zim pretended to look innocent.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the press and science board," Dib turned to his followers "I present to you...A REAL LIVE ALIEN!" He gestured towards Zim dramatically, however, nothing but a crickets' chirp could be heard. After some time of just standing there and listening to the lovely cricket, one of the scientists walked over to examine Zim.

"Ehh...boy, this is no alien!" the scientist proclaimed "This is a fairy godmother!"

"W-what?!" Dibs' mouth hung off the bottom of his extraordinarily large head. "Don't tell me you're actually FALLING for that pathetic disguise and-wait why wouldn't a fairy godmother be considered paranormal?" He frowned, obviously confused.

"Silly big-head kid..." an anchorman grinned Dib as if he were a complete and total idiot—which at the moment, wasn't entirely hard to think. Anyway, as he said this, little magical fairies popped up on the shoulders of everyone in attendance. "Why, everyone has a fairy godmother!

"WHAT?!" Dib couldn't believe what he was hearing—or seeing. "...how come I don't have a fairy godmother?"

"Because you're too busy trying to prove them real!" The anchorman leaned in uncomfortably close to the childs' face. "You must believe..." Dib merely stared back at the anchorman, a look of pure befuddlement on his big fat face.

"Meh," A news reporter shrugged his shoulders as he casually wrote some things down on his notepad "At least we'll have more news about the crazy little big-headed kid. Some of the others took pictures of Dib, who was still standing there looking sad and confused, then left with the others.

"Doesn't anyone believe me?" He asked one last time in a feeble voice.

"Sorry kid." The news reporter said carelessly "The pictures you showed us looked promising enough, but clearly, this is a harmless fairy godmother, and certainly not an extra-terrestrial life-form bent on taking over our planet." he patted the boy's enormous-sized head before suggesting "Maybe you should consider going into photography." Before leaving Pizza Hut.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...Why do I even continue to bother…?" Dib turned and glared at Zim. "You may have won this time, But believe me when I say this, Zim: I will prove to the whole world what you really are, if it kills me-" Dib was interrupted by the door swinging open and smushing him between it and the wall.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-HA-HA!" Silvers' wails easily drowned out Dibs' muffled screams. The hedgehog closed the door behind him, quickly leaning on it as if to provide an extra barrier. He never even noticed the Dib-pancake smeared on the wall next to him as he panted heavily.

"Haha, good luck with that, DIB." The alien sneered at his enemy before turning to Silver. "Well that was a relief to get over with. Soooo? How did it go?" He asked, grinning pleasantly.

"I—" Silver fell on the floor as Vector swung the door open.

The crocodile blinked slowly. "Wait…wha—"

BAM

Vector was hit square in the face with a frying pan, courtesy of Silverella. He dropped to his knees before falling on his snout; out cold.

"Smart move." Zim commented, turning Silver back into his normal form. "Just say he had an accident-a door got slammed in his face."

"What an awful night!" Silver began to whine "Blaze thought I was a lesbian, people kept passing out on me due to sheer drunkness, and Shadow—k-kissed me." His whole body shuddered in disgust. "Anyway, sure thing, I'll do that." He struggled to pull Vector into a nearby chair, before making a face. "Something—feels weird…?!" He looks down and realizes that one of his shoes is missing-and the one remaining is still a high-heel. "AUGH! Zim!" Zim turned to him, looking at him inquisitively. "You missed something!" the hedgehog pointed to the feminine shoe.

"What?!" Zim looked around wildly "DGAH! where's the other one?!"

"Crap!" Silver suddenly remembered the whole fiasco on the stairs "Shadow must've pulled it off!" Zim looked at him, horrified.

"I can't change your shoes back unless they're TOGETHER!" He screeched.

"Double crap!" Silver tugged at his hair in a panic "This is the only pair of shoes that I own!"

"I-wait..." Zim trailed off "You only have one pair of shoes?"

Silver scowled at the fairy godmother and said dryly "Well, considering that I work minimum wage at Pizza Hut, I have to pay bills, buy groceries, as well as medicine for

my unicorn sister-don't ask how that's even possible-There's not really a lot left in my budget to go shoe-shopping frequently."

"Hm, I see...weeeeeell..." Zim rubbed his chin, deep in thought.

"Yes? YES?!" Silver waited for an answer.

...Sorry, I can't help you." Zim said at last as he started to leave.

"What?! WAIT! I—" Silver froze in horror and gasped when he saw Charmy and Espio walking through the entrance. He raced behind the counter so they couldn't see his feet. "Heeeeey guys!" He greeted them with all the casual-ness he could muster.

"Hey Silv—" Espio stopped when he noticed the crocodile in the chair "What happened to Vector?"

"I dunno—" Silver shrugged "He just came in here and passed out cold in that chair-just how much booze did he drink tonight?"

"No clue—" Espio shook his head before looking up at the hedgehog and grinning "You should've been at the party, Silver, it was awesome!"

"Yeah!" Charmy agreed. I don't know why he kept starting all of his sentences with the word 'yeah.' "Booze and drugs and naked ladies everywhere!"

Silver smiled smugly "Sounds just-brilliant."

"Hahaha!" Espio kept on laughing "You should've seen Shadow with this one chick!"

"Oh really?" Silver pretended to be intrigued "What happened?"

Espio gasped for breath "He was trying to hit on her and she totally bitch-slapped him! I swear, it was the funniest thing that happened all night! Shadow got so butt-hurt over it!"

"Sounds…hilarious." Silver actually found himself smiling evilly, knowing that his actions had caused Shadow torment of some kind.

"Yeah, he's still looking for her right now!" Espio continued after yet another laughing break "He's searching practically the whole town cuz- see he pulled the chick's shoe off—"

"What?!" Silver slammed his hands on the counter and looked downright horrified. Epio and Charmy eyed him strangely. "I mean-oh how sad he must really miss her—" Silver glanced up at the clock "Uh-um, well, it's getting late and—you don't really need me around here anymore, right?" He smiled at them nervously.

"Uuuuuuuum-

"Exactly! So I'm going to just skedaddle on home now-sound fine with you?"

Espio looked around the room "Well-no one is going to be buying pizza this late at night..." He looked over his shoulder at the passed out croc. "and Vector sure isn't going to object so…I guess you can leave—"

"Cool deal!" Silver paused before running from the counter to behind a trashcan. He then made a mad dash out the door, letting out a short scream as he did.

"What on Mobius is wrong with him?" Espio jerked his thumb towards the door.

"Dunno-he's crazy like that-even crazier than ME!" Charmy stated.

"I highly, HIGHLY doubt that." Espio frowned down at the tiny bee.

"Meh..." Vector opened his eyes weakly "Where the hell am I...?" He muttered before passing out cold again.

Oh man!" Silver talked to himself as he walked down the street. An odd looking skinny man with knives hanging from his belt looked at him strangely as the two walked past each other. "Shadow will come by here tomorrow for his daily pizza order-and he'll be looking for the other shoe! What am I going to do?...I'm gonna have to steal that shoe from Shadow!" Silver pounded a fist into his other hand. "Then, they'll both turn back into my regular boots! Yeah, that's what I'm gonna have to do!..."

Well, it seems like Silverella is in a bit of a rut now, isn't he? Lets find out what happens the next day.

The next morning, Vector was reading the headlines of the Mobius Inquire: Strange, Unknown Assailant Brutally Dismembers Someone Unimportant. Nobody Cares."Where the hell is that hedgehog?" No sooner does he say this, Silver rushes through the door and behind the counter again. "Hm? Oh, there you are. YOU'RE 3 MINUTES LATE!

"Terribly sorry about that Mr. Vector, sir. It won't happen again. Scouthogs' honor! Silver saluted his boss.

"Well, I suppose I'll let you off the hook this time..." Vector turned around to walk to his office. As he did this, Silver stuck his tongue out at him.

"Okay, better get to work on Shadow's order before he—" Silver gasped when none other than Shadow himself came running through the doors of the restaurant.

"VECTOR!" Shadow looked around wildly before running into the crocodile's office. "VECTOR!"

"WHAT!" Vector, who had been snoozing in his chair, snorts and looks around the room wildly. "WHAT IS IT?! HAVE I BEEN BUSTED?!" He started to crawl under his desk to hide from the police.

"I can't find her!"

The crocodile poked his head out from his desk. "Who?-oh yeah, her." He sat back down in his chair and put on a pair of glasses. "Well, I can begin an investigation immediately! Uh—" Vector paused and rubbed his index finger and thumb together "for

a fee, of course."

Shadow dumped a bag of money on Vectors' desk instantaneously "I'll do anything at this point!"

"Eheheheh..." Vector rubbed his hands together, greedily. "-Anyways! Um, so when did you see her last?" He went through standard questions that were on the form clipped to his clip board.

"At the party last night you dolt! And I—"

"Hmm," Vector scribbled something down "I see. Do you have any evidence I might be able to use?"

"Well that's it you see," Shadow pulled out the high heel "I grabbed this off of her—"

"Evidence is very useful in cases like these." Vector scratched his chin, deep in thought.

Shadow blinked. "Well, Vector, I have this—"

"things like handkerchiefs, hats, gloves," Vector began to list things off "anything that has come into contact with the missing person's body can be scanned for DNA samples—"

"VECTOR! I HAVE A SHOE!" Shadow yelled at last as he threw the heel at Vector's head, hitting him dead-on.

"OUWCH! Geez Shadow why couldn't you just tell me?" Vector groaned and rubbed his face. Shadow just shook head head and sighed.

"Anyway, hurry please! I don't want to wait any longer than I have to!"

"Hot damn!" Vector slammed his palms down on his desk "Shadow The Hedgehog just said 'please'? This chick is obviously having some impact on you!"

"Only her long, flowing white hair..." Shadow sighed as Vector, Espio and Charmy gaped.

"Well anyway, I'll just get right on that..." Vector cleared his throat as he picked up the shoe and his clipboard, while Shadow wandered out of his office and into the main restaurant.

"Yo Silver!"

"Y-yes Shadow?" Silver managed to stutter out, carefully avoiding eye contact with the other hedgehog.

"Just—" Shadow sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly "get me a personal pan pizza-a cheese one.

"W-wha? You mean that's IT?! Nothing-you know, nearly impossible to create?" Silver questioned.

"Look, just fix me the dang pie, okay?" Shadow snapped "You just-have no idea how I feel right now..."

Silver tiptoed into the kitchen where he began to heat up a pizza. "Oh, really?" He squinted, slightly annoyed "Wouldn't be to sure on that."

Shadow scoffed. "What could a loser like yourself know about losing the girl of your dreams?" Silver shuddered when he said this.

"...Well," the white hedgehog started "remember when I told you that I kinda liked Blaze The Cat?"

"Yeah."

"And then you kinda said you would talk to her for me?"

"Uh-huh." Shadow replied carelessly, examining his fingers.

"And then you kinda asked her out on a date?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Here?"

"Yup."

"On my shift?! Right in front of me and I had to take your orders and serve you and everything?"

"You 'bout finished on that pizza?" Shadow asked, not seeming to give a shit.

"Oh yeah!" Silver suddenly remembered his 'dilemma' "Uhm...could you-come up here to the counter and get it?"

"I'm too depressed to walk right now. Bring it over here to my table."

Silver gulped. "P-please Shadow? My feet-I have bunions really bad. The pain—"

"Your pain can not even begin to compare to mine!" Shadow roared. "Now bring me my pizza, slave! Unless you want me to call Vector out here—"

"N-no t-thanks I-ll-be right out-just let me take my boots off really quick!" He slipped his high-heel into a fanny pack around his waist and tried to act casual as he walked out into the dining area-barefooted. "One personal pan cheese pizza—just what you ordered!"

"Bout time you brought it out..." Shadows' eyes fell to Silver's feet. "Hey, you said you had bunions-your feet look fine to me!" Silver silently panicked.

"Oh-well, it's not that severe yet but...it hurts like crap-trust me." He pretended to act as if he were in horrible pain. He wasn't really that good at acting—let's just hope he doesn't quit his day job.

"I would never be that stupid." Shadow looked offended. "Well, since you're in a lot of pain, and I'm in my usual sadistic mood, go up onto that random stage Vector had installed and dance."

"B-b-b-but I—" Silver tried to protest.

"DO IT!" The black hedgehog threw a napkin dispenser at the white ones' head, who ducked and narrowly avoided being hit.

"Aiee! Okay okay fine!" Silver forlornly crawled up onto the stage and started to dance. Again, let's hope he doesn't quit his day job. "Doo, do do do do do do, doo dee dum dum doo, doo, doo doo—" After some time of this, Vector comes out of his office with the other shoe. Silver gasps when he saw it.

"I'm going to have to take this down to my actual agency headquarters for some DNA testing-feel free to eat all the pizza you want and annoy the crap out of Silver while I'm away." Vector told his favorite client.

"Cool!" Shadow gave a thumbs up as he bit into a slice of his pizza.

"Oh crap!" Silver thought "I gotta find a way to distract Vector and Shadow so I can get that stinkin' shoe!"

"See ya—"

"VECTOR-WAAAAAAAAAAAIT!" Silver screamed for the crocodile to stop as he stumbled, tripped, and fell off the side of the stage.

"Gosh darnit quit bein' so dang clumsy, boy! Whadda ya want?" Vector frowned as his employee approached him.

"I uh um-I...need to ask you a question-a-about the pizza! Y-yeah, that's it." Silver lied.

Vector raised an eyebrow. "What about the pizza? It's frozen! You heat it up in the oven and give it to the customers! What's there to ask?" He slapped his head in frustration "My God you're stupid..."

"C'mon Vector, go do the DNA testing I wanna know!" Shadow impatiently shoved Vector towards the door.

"Nononononono WAIT!" Silver grabbed his boss's other arm and pulled it back towards the kitchen. "It's uh-um, about the oven-for the pizza. I-I think it might be broken!"

"Oh that piece of junk breaks down alllll the time!" Vector groaned as the two pulled him back and forth "Just kick it once or twice and it'll start up!"

"No I um-really think it's broken this time."

"Vector, please!"

Vector grew infuriated and snatched both of his mighty arms away from them both. "WOULD YA BOTH STOP YER WHINING?!" He roared at the top of his lungs. Silver and Shadow both stared meekly up at him. "Okay fine, Silver, show me what's wrong!" He walked into the kitchen with Silver. "Where?"

"It won't turn on!" the green croc sighed and rolled his eyes. Silver took this opportunity to unplug the oven while he wasn't looking.

"Lemme see here..." He put the shoe on the counter before rolling onto his back, sliding under the machine and beginning to tinker with the oven. Silver, in the meantime, grabbed the unsupervised shoe, and rushed towards the mens' room. "...hmm...hey!" Vector soon noticed the cord drooped on the ground. "The plug isn't plugged in dumbass that's why-" Vector then noticed that his employee had disappeared without a trace. "Silver?" He looked over to the counter—only to discover that the shoe was gone as well. "Shoe? Wha?"

"The shoe!" Shadow jumped out of his chair, yelling in an abnormally high voice "That little white prick stole my shoe!"

"To the bathrooms!" Vector, declared as he, Shadow, Espio and Charmy raced into the mens' rooms. When they opened the door, they saw none other than Silver himself standing in front of the mirror in both of the heels.

Words cannot begin to describe the looks on their faces. Silver shifted his feet, uncomfortably.

"It's uh...it's not what you thi—" His explanation was interrupted by both the heels magically transforming back into his regular boots. At this moment, Knuckles happened to walk out of one of the bathroom stalls.

"-Whoa..." the echidna immediately walked backwards back into the stall and closed the door.

"Uh...um...yeah..." Silver didn't really have anything. Absolutely nothing.

"The shoes..." Espio said.

"I kissed Silver..." Shadow said, dazed.

"They were a perfect fit!" the small bee exclaimed.

"I-kissed Silver..." the black hedgehog repeated the sentence in shock.

"but they transformed back into Silver's boots?!" Vector scratched his head, confused.

"I kissed Silver...?" Shadow was beginning to piece this story together.

"So, basically," Knuckles could be heard from the stall "this means—"

"I KISSED HIM?!" Shadow exploded, pointing dramatically at the other hedgehog. "I FUCKING KISSED SILVER THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG?!"

"Well..." Vector stood there, dumbfounded. "It would appear so..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA H!" Shadow ripped the sink out of the wall. The pipes burst, spewing water into his opened screaming mouth. "CLEANSE ME! CLENSE MEEEEEEEEEE!"

Oh, come now," Silver said in a flat tone of voice, scowling all the while "it's not that bad." The other hedgehog slowly turned around, a scared and horrified look on his face.

"It's not that bad? IT'S NOT THAT BAD?!"

"I—" Silver was interrupted by Shadow grabbing the coller of his Pizza Hut shirt.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! CROSS-DRESSING AND SEDUCING ME AT MY OWN PARTY?! DO YOU GET SOME SORT OF SICK PLEASURE OUT OF DOING THESE THINGS?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, HUH?!"

"Me?!" That was it. Silver cracked. "This is all YOUR fault You were the one who said I couldn't go to your stupid old party in the first place! I was the one who had to go to extreme measures just to get in! Furthermore, you—" He poked Shadow's nose "were the one making advances towards me, and I'll have you know that I did everything in my feminine power to reject your moves! Heck, I RAN AWAY FROM

YOU AND YOU TRIED TO CHASE ME DOWN! I mean, stalker much? Then you try to get Vector to run FRICKIN' DNA tests on my SHOE that you RIPPED OFF OF MY FOOT! I HAD TO GO BAREFOOT TO WORK! Then, you act all emo and force me to make you free pizza- not that that's anything new, and—and, and..." Silver slowly trailed off when he noticed the way Shadow was glaring at him. His face was red, he was breathing heavily, and his fists were curled up tight. "I've said too much...haven't I?"

If one had happened to be walking past the east side of the Pizza Hut at approximately 11:03 am, one would have seen Silver burst out one of the walls of the restaurant, and land unconscious on the pavement, bleeding heavily.

"FUCK!" Shadows' nostrils were flared like a bull.

"Yeah," Knuckles cheered his friend on "you tell him Sha-DOOF!" Shadow punched Knuckles' mouth.

"Silver!" Vector began to yell out the gaping hole in the wall "you're fir-MOOF!" Shadow punched his snout.

"Hey Shadow, want me to grab you a beer-NOOF!" Shadow got Espio square in the jaw.

"…" Charmy hovered in the air, gaping.

"…" Shadow wasted no time in socking the bee as well. "EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME!"

"Awww" Rouge, who had appeared out of seemingly nowhere, said "I guess you're really sad, huh?"

"Rouge," Shadow sniffed "She wasn't real…my dream girl…it was just Silver the FUCKING HEDGEHOG!" He began to sob profoundly.

"Being a teenager can be hard." Rouge seemingly sympathized with him.

"W-what do I do? I feel like garbage…" Shadow sighed.

"Honey, you know what you have to do?" Rouge stood up.

"What?" Shadow gazed up at her, ready to discover what on earth he had to do to rid himself of the pain.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Rouge laughed "Oh get over yourself!"

"W-what?" Shadow gaped at her sudden outburst.

"You think if you don't get the girl you want, you can just fall to pieces and everyone will sympathize with you? What a pussy…" Rouge chuckled some more.

"I don't understand anything…anymore…" Shadow had started to cry again "I don't want to live in this life…"

"Too bad, noob. Grow a pair and shut up!" Rouge walked off.

"Yeah…yeah she's right." Shadow began to realize "This is pretty lame of me. I mean, I'm supposed to be the cool person in this story, the asshole. Asshole don't cry. Yeah, she's right, I need to get over myself, get a life, nut up and shut up…" He turned his head and looked out the hole in the wall, where Silver was still laying out on the sidewalk "And I'm gonna start with YOU!"

"Uuuuuh..." Silver moaned.

Later, back at Silver's house...

"—Then, he punched me out the wall and I laid on the sidewalk for awhile." Silver was explaining to Zim "I'm still not entirely sure why, but afterwards he came back and beat me up a little bit more, but I didn't really suffer too long because I passed out shortly and lay there unconscious for about three hours. Nothing too serious..."

"I see..." Zim rubbed his chin, thoughtfully "well, thanks to you, Dib is so busy trying to prove that fairy godmothers are evil That I've been able to finish my most DIOBOLICAL SCHEME YET FOR DESTROYING MANKIND!"

Silver shielded himself from the aliens' saliva "Yes...but—I'm not a man, I'm a hedgehog."

"Oh?" Zim looked Silver up and down "hm...I guess you're right. Well, see ya. I gotta go find some kind man's to destroy." And with that, the Zim-fairy took his leave.

"SIL-VER!" Rarity's screeches filled the otherwise silent house.

"Whaaat?" her brother yelled back.

"Bring me my medicine-NOW!" She yelled hoarsely before going into another of her fake coughing fits.

Silver sighed "It may not be great, but it is at least somewhat peaceful to have things back to normal. Who knows? Maybe, someday soon, something good will happen to me, and everyone will start to respect me, and treat me with kindness—" unfortunately, Silver's boring-as-hell epilogue was interrupted by him slipping on Rarity's medication bottle and falling head-first into—what else?—a box full of anchovies. "GAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why me…?"

And that brings our horrible tale of Silverella to a close.