Before I close my eyes at night
Disclaimer: I am poor and own nothing but my very own confused mind…
Once the diner was closed there usually wasn't a lot that made him leave it immediately. He always stayed there for a few more moments or minutes. Sometimes it had been hours that he spent behind the counter, filling up salt and pepper shakers, finding some tedious work to call him down. It was his routine. He'd do it every night. In these few moments alone in the diner, he would relive the day with his ups and downs, he would smile to himself about the good parts, he would shake his head in disbelief at the crazy things and he would wonder about the bad things. This was what kept him up though. Ever since he had started doing that, he had realized that a day would never be just one out of the three. A day would never be just bad, there was always good stuff that came with it, or crazy stuff to smirk about at the least. Especially since she was in town.
He never liked to admit to himself, but she was part of the reason he stayed down here for so long sometimes. Occasionally he just felt the need to stay down here, from where he could look over the whole town, because she would possibly walk or drive by. He would sometimes catch a glimpse at her when she stopped at the light in front of his door- which would be red for no reason, and he could look at her for a few moments. In these moments he never tried to deny his feelings. He knew how he felt about her. All the other times of the day he wouldn't think of it, he would try to hide his feelings even from himself, but these rare moments at night, when he saw her passing by outside, coming back from the market or the video store, that was when he would let go. He would let it happened.
He silently felt sorry for yelling at Taylor when the light was first established. He thought it was an idiotic thing to do, put a traffic light in Stars Hollow, where there was absolutely no traffic, but the stupid thing had done great deeds for him, mainly because it was usually only red for her. He'd seen her run it a few times, however she usually got caught and as soon as she passed it there would be an officer in a car or on a bike surveying traffic behind her to give her a ticket. Again, the officer's job was completely senseless, because of the non-existing traffic, and because no one else would actually run the red light. For god sake's, he was pretty sure no more than 5 people in Stars Hollow actually had a criminal record or record whatsoever. With one exception of course: Taylor definitely had a record somewhere back at a facility for the mentally disordered. Yet, she would always get a ticket.
It was like destiny. The red lights. The tickets which told her to stop at the red light. It was like she had to stop there for him to catch a last look of her. No matter how his day had gone, whenever he got the chance to see her before he went to bed, he went to bed feeling happy and content. She made him feel that way. Even though they were only friends, even though she was oblivious to his true feelings, even though it had hurt him seeing her turn from one guy to the other these past years, she still made him feel that way. Her mere existence made him feel that way. Knowing she was out there was enough. Knowing she'd come in in the morning begging for her precious coffee soothed him.
She was after all, all that he needed to keep going. He didn't need a self-help book to figure that out. When you know you just know.
She hadn't passed by so far tonight, but it was okay. Her vision was completely captured with his inner eye. He could imagine every feature of her face. He eyes, her smile, the crazy look she'd give people… It was all there, right inside him.
And she was perfect. The days were perfect, when she was the last person he would see the day. Made him wish to be able to have that every night.
That would still take some time though. It would take some months, years, maybe decades, but one day he would be able to have her beside him. She would be the last thing he'd see before closing his eyes. That just let him know, that everything was worth it. That life was worth it.
Tonight she came. She stood there right in front of his door-step while he was still wiping the counter fidgeting with her purse. She was obviously looking for something. She was always looking for something. And then she looked up and saw him. She didn't come in however. She had found what she was looking for and had her car keys in hand. Nevertheless when seeing him, she would put on a smile just for him.
And he would smile back.
Yeah, it was definitely worth it.
A.N.: Okay, I don't know if this fic is worth anything, but I made it out of the wish to write something for this one specific person, who I hope will read this, in order to prove that I don't only write about RoryJess. Well, specific one and everyone else who read this, I hope it didn't suck too bad… any reviews are greatly appreciated…