Never Alone

He stared out at the river Lir from his favorite spot. It was quiet here and no one ever came this far away from Lirigon so he wasn't disturbed in his musing, if you could call it that. To him it was more deciding what to do with himself.

The wind blew his hair and he carefully pushed it out of the way. He was glad that this place was unknown to anyone but him, so even the girls couldn't find him. He could see Pellinor in the distance, tall and proud with all its beauty. He wanted to go there at some point. The towers glistened and if he listened carefully he could hear the telltale sounds of eternal music on the breeze.

At least he had no other lessons today. Normally he wouldn't have minded spending time with Saliman and Malgorn or even with Nelac but today was different. Nine years ago he had come to the speech, it had been totally alien to him as neither of his parents were bards. So why was he? Occasionally he thought of it as a gift and other times it was a curse.

His life had been turned on its head that day. Even now he found himself slipping into using the speech when conversing with his family before remembering that they wouldn't understand him.

Yet already they were calling him a great mage, they said that he would be first bard of Lirigon one day, and maybe even Norloch. Didn't they understand that he would rather wander around the countryside? To help the poor and perhaps find a home elsewhere, somewhere quiet yet full of adventure. He was born to be wild.

He had never felt so alone before.

Maybe he should go now, leave Lirigon and perhaps go to Pellinor as he had always wanted, or Innail. Somewhere he wouldn't have to worry about fitting in. Yes, that seemed like a good idea. But he wouldn't tell anyone, he couldn't. Once again he found his hand going to his shoulder, rubbing the scar.

Or then again maybe not, he knew the dangers of the wild and had paid for his ignorance of it. He remembered Nelac's horrified expression when he had found his young student lying by the lake, slowly bleeding to death.

Suddenly he heard a rustling sound and he was pulled from his musing. The sound came again, behind him and he jumped to his feet, drawing his sword, Arnost.

"Who's there?" he called, trying to sound brave.

"Lemmach! It's only me!" Slowly he relaxed as his younger sisters head appeared from behind a tree. She was dressed for cold weather and looked rather dirty. Not that she minded, she like the wild as much as him.He sheathed his sword and sat down as she came over.

"Why did you follow me? I thought you didn't know the speech!" Cadvan couldn't stop the questions from pouring out. Kiryn sat down beside him and he automatically wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in for a hug, they sat there for some time in silence, just admiring the beauty of nature. Once again he found that only Kiryn understood how he felt.

"I've picked some words up, it's not that hard, and all sorts of people use the speech. I thought you needed company, it's getting cold and a storms coming in." Kiryn replied firmly. He noticed that she was holding his jacket. Whether he liked it or not it was beginning to get rather chilly. "Mom's going mad with worry for you." she added meekly. He snorted with laughter.

"Mom? Worried about me? She always ignores me, like I'm not there and you know why." Cadvan replied, pulled the jacket on nonetheless. Kiryn shivered and huddled closer to him. He pulled some twigs over and laid them out for a fire. He then held his fingers towards them a muttered Noroch. The twigs caught fire and they both leaned towards the warmth.

"Mom doesn't hate you Cad." Kiryn told him as the wind began to pick up. "She's just having a hard time adjusting to it."

"She's had nine years already, how long to they need?" Cadvan asked sarcastically. Kiryn gave him a disapproving glance.

"Don't tell me you're thinking of leaving again." Cadvan bowed his head in admittance; he swore that his sister had bardic blood in her somewhere, he was sure she could read people's minds. Kiryn sighed.

"Cad you promised me you wouldn't go! What about Saliman and Malgorn? Are you just going to leave them and Nelac too?"

"I don't fit in here Ki, I never have." Cadvan argued but knew it was pointless.

"Yes you do, you have friends and Nelac…" she trailed off as if wanting to say more.

"Go on." he prompted.

"…and me." Kiryn finished quietly before turning away from him and staring up towards the gathering clouds. Her blue eyes reflected the fire making them appear the same colour as her hair, a rich gold. He noticed a single tear running down her cheek and gently wiped it away.

"I know sis, I know." Cadvan of Lirigon had once again been defeated by his younger sibling.

"We'd better get home before the heavens open up." Kiryn stated after a while. He nodded in agreement and put the fire out, stretched his stiff limbs and stood up. Kiryn hadn't moved.

"Do you think that Papa's out there somewhere?" she asked after a moment, looked up at the sky. Cadvan winced at the subject opened old wounds. It hurt to think about his dad, killed whilst protecting him.

"Yes, somewhere," he told his sister. She nodded in understanding, "It hurts to think that everyone I love will grow old while I stay young." Cadvan finally admitted his fear. Kiryn stood and came over to him.

"I'll always be here for you Cad. I'll never leave you and can always find me, in here." Kiryn gently prodded his chest, over his heart and he nodded, "If not in body then in spirit. I don't fear death Cad, because I know one day we will meet again beyond the gates." Cadvan struggled to hold back tears at his little sister's words.

"I don't fear death either." Kiryn nodded. She had always had a deep bond with Cadvan. She didn't know why as she had a sister and two other brothers yet she had gone for him, the outcast of the family, the quiet, reflective boy.

"You're not alone Cad, you'll never be alone." Kiryn promised as they headed away from the hilltop, away from magic of Pellinor and the wild towards their walk home in Lirigon.

"I know Kiryn, I know." Together they began the long walk home as lightening flashed over their heads.

Fin.

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