AN: BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ASKED. I CAN'T THANK PEOPLE OUT THERE ENOUGH WHO READ THESE STORIES, IT IS VERY HEARTWARMING ESPECIALLY AS WRITING CAN BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME PHYSICALLY AND MY RELIANCE ON VOICE COMMAND SOFTWARE MEANS I SIMPLY CAN'T REPLY TO EVERYONE PERSONALLY. SO... THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KEEP IANTO ALIVE AND JACK AND THE GANG ENTERTAINING YOU.
MAY 2011 BRING ALL GOOD WISHES AND MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE FOR YOU.
CONFUSED? READ 'ON LONGING' FIRST...
On Trusting
Ianto Jones watched as Jack left the cell, locking the door behind him. With a sigh he leaned back against the cold concrete wall and hugged his knees to his chest. There was little else he could do but allow his grief to take over. Ianto was fully expecting to be dead by the end of the day, it was unlikely that Jack would forgive yet another lie. Ianto was past caring, there was nothing left within him to give to anyone anymore and all he wanted to do was shut down. He was beyond tired, his bones ached as much as his soul and even the relief of the burden of caring for Lisa, the end of her suffering, and the end of his fear and worry did not make him feel any better. The emptiness was overwhelming and Ianto would happily drown himself in it because he didn't know what else to do. He shivered with cold and finally he began to cry, quietly at first but slowly he choked out gut heaving sobs.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Gwen Cooper turned away from the monitor uncomfortable with watching Ianto's grief unfold, such things should be private. She caught Tosh turning guiltily away from the spectacle on the screen and couldn't help but feel sorry for her because she had been friends with the young man that had betrayed them. In her heart Gwen knew that she would never be able to trust Ianto ever again and whilst she felt sorry for his predicament and for his loss, she was angry that he had put their lives at risk. Part of her wanted to go down to the cells to hug him and make it all better, but another much sterner part of her resolve would just as easily consider slapping him around the face. She shuddered to think at what Lisa would have suffered over the last few months trapped in that machine, stuck halfway between being human and being whatever it was that Cybermen were. Gwen had taken some time to look up on the database the information about these metal creatures and what she discovered had unnerved her. It occurred to her that Ianto must have known what he was doing no matter how blinded by his love.
Jack came back into the conference room and sat down heavily in his usual chair.
"Tosh, have you and Owen made any progress on your analysis of the device in Ianto's neck?"
The Japanese woman glanced back up at the screen before settling her gaze on her boss.
"Owen and I both believe we can remove it with a local anaesthetic, but he is concerned that the filaments connected to Ianto's spine and brain may do some damage if we attempt to remove them. He believes that because they are biological rather than mechanical that they should break down and be absorbed into the body without further problem. With that in mind we both suggest that the mechanical device be removed by cutting it away from the biological filaments holding it in place." She pushed a printout of the scan that Owen had performed earlier, across the table for Jack to examine.
"Jack, what will happen to Ianto? I mean, after we have dealt with the device?" Toshiko asked.
"I intend to put him on suspension for one month. Owen is going to organise for a counsellor from UNIT so that Ianto can receive some treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. We discussed the option of Retcon, but agreed that it was not a suitable course of action." Jack replied studying the sheet that Tosh had given him.
Gwen huffed out a sigh. "Are you sure that is the right thing to do?"
Jack gave her a stern look. "Yes and that is the end of the discussion. Tosh, how long will the procedure take? "
"Owen says, provided there are no problems, it should take about 20 minutes to remove the device and stitch up the wound. He was also planning on giving Ianto a full medical at the same time. "
"Right, then you and Gwen can go home. Owen and I will deal with Ianto."
"If he is coming back to work with us are we going to be able to trust him?"
Jack was not surprised by the question and realised that Gwen and probably Tosh would be concerned about having their colleague back as part of the team. But then it occurred to him that they hadn't exactly made any effort to integrate Ianto into the team in the first place. He smiled at Gwen,
"We will be able to trust him, Ianto is useful and I want him to remain a part of this team. I appreciate there will be trust issues for all of us where Ianto is concerned. I seem to remember that on your very first day a casual mistake that you made cost the lives of eight men. I know Ianto betrayed us, he made the mistake of believing in someone that he loved, he was fooled by the creature that Lisa had become. Men have destroyed worlds for far less noble reasons. I think he deserves the chance to prove himself and maybe even get over the loss and the trauma of Canary Wharf. We all have to try to be there for him and put aside our own sense of betrayal, I'd like to think that we can do that for him."
Gwen glowered at him, not at all happy at the referral to her first day with Torchwood.
"My mistake was different, I did something clumsy and stupid, but I did not deliberately set something against my teammates and put the world at risk as a conscious choice. At the very least I would have thought that Ianto should face some punishment. I don't want to be seen as being cruel but I know for certain I will find it difficult to work with him."
"At least you are honest about it. Look, I know how difficult this is but Ianto will punish himself enough without us adding to it. He will not be allowed access to any of the security systems or weapons until he has proved himself worthy of our trust, but we have to try to help him. I would have thought you would understand that better than any of us."
Gwen nodded, she was not happy but couldn't argue with Jack's reasoning. She silently resolved to try her best for Ianto's sake.
"I know you are right Jack. I may just need a bit of time to get used to it, that's all."
Jack offered up a re-assuring grin and then turned to Tosh. "Is there anything you would like to add?"
Toshiko shook her head. "I just want him to feel that he can trust us, because clearly he couldn't, otherwise we would not have had this situation in the first place. I feel as though I have let him down and I want to rebuild my friendship with him so I am glad that he will be coming back."
Jack was pleased with her answer. "Thank you Tosh, I know he will appreciate your sentiment I think he is feeling very isolated right now. Right then, you two get yourselves off home and come in for an early start tomorrow, and don't worry, things will be all right." He wasn't certain that everything would be okay, but he had to believe that it would. Jack decided it was best not to mention how he would find it perhaps even harder than them to find it within himself to trust Ianto again. He got up from his seat and left the conference room without another word to the girls. Tosh and Gwen followed him out a moment later and went to get their coats and bags.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Owen looked up from his terminal as Jack came down the steps into the autopsy bay. He stretched in his chair and yawned expansively.
"I guess Tosh gave you the run down then?"
Jack nodded. "Yeah, it sounds pretty straight forward. How soon can you be ready?"
"I should only need about ten minutes to prepare a surgery tray, why, you want to do it now?"
"No time like the present. I shall go down to the cells and fetch Ianto."
Owen got to his feet. "Right you are the boss."
Jack hesitated for a moment, catching Owen's eye as he stood on the bottom step. "You sure this will be safe?"
"Nothing is for certain Jack. But trust me, I'm a doctor, so long as there are no surprises."
"What kind of surprises?"
Owen shrugged. "The device could be booby trapped for all I know, triggered to have those filaments rip through his spinal cord the moment I try to cut it out. I've no way of knowing Jack. I'd suggest that it isn't doing any harm where it is."
"Until Ianto starts trying to delete us." Jack responded.
"Yeah, there is that."
"I'll bring him up here in ten minutes, be ready, lets get this over with."
TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWT
"Hold out your hands."
Ianto complied, not surprised to find his wrists handcuffed together. Jack stood back from him and gestured him out of the cell. Ianto co-operated. Jack gripped his left upper arm and steered him out of the vaults and up into the main section of the Hub. The floor was freezing cold under his bare feet and Ianto hissed in a sharp breath as he was led across the metal decked floor in the direction of the autopsy bay. The Victorian ceramic tiled surface felt even colder and Ianto wished he had some socks on, he shivered with the chill and Jack clearly misread it as fear.
"You've nothing to worry about, I'm just bringing you down here to get that device removed from your neck." Jack told him in gentle tones.
Ianto nodded but said nothing, he just accepted the situation for what it was, Torchwood exerting control over his life, just like it had back in London. Only here, Torchwood was one Jack Harkness, who currently held his life in his hands. Ianto was still expecting a bullet or Retcon, despite what Jack had said. He noticed Owen staring at him and Jack released his grip on his arm.
"Tea Boy, you'll need to take your T-shirt off."
Ianto arched an eyebrow at Owen and held up his cuffed hands. Owen frowned. "Harkness why is he restrained?"
Jack wasn't willing to take any chances. "The cuffs stay on until that thing is safely removed. You can cut his T-shirt, I'll get him a fresh one when you're done."
Owen shrugged, clearly thinking Jack was being over cautious. "Fine. Lie face down on the table Tea Boy."
Ianto moved as instructed.
"His name is Ianto." Jack responded moving to assist. Ianto was grateful, getting up onto the autopsy table was awkward with his hands the way they were, but he remained silent, not even thanking Jack for his help. He caught sight of the needles arranged on Owen's tray and suddenly felt sick.
"Fine whatever."
Ianto shifted slightly, his linked wrists pulled above his head so his hands hung over the end of the exam table. Jack slid a pillow under his head effectively forcing Ianto to hide his face in it, not that Ianto minded, it meant he didn't have to see what was happening. Ianto realised at that point that he would have to trust Owen's professionalism to override his anger. He felt tugging at his T-shirt and heard the distinctive sound of the fabric being sliced away, but the cold touch of the metal never met his skin as Owen was careful. The scissors were placed down with a clang.
"Right Tea Boy, I'm gonna give you a local now, you'll feel a sharp sting for a few seconds, so keep still."
Ianto didn't need to worry, warm hands clamped around his head and he was suddenly surrounded by Jack's familiar touch. The sting was indeed sharp and Ianto's eyes watered profusely into the cotton fabric of the pillow case. Four times the needle went in as the anaesthetic was administered. A warm tingeling spread out across his neck, it was a weird sensation but not entirely unpleasant. He could feel pressure and his hair being moved.
"How is that feeling now?" Owen asked. Ianto had to turn his head slightly in order to reply.
"Just get on with it please."
He heard Owen sigh and then a brief rattle of metal. The grip on his head and shoulders increased and Ianto relaxed into it because there was nothing else he could do. He just wanted the procedure over with so he could go back to the cell and grieve in private.
Owen picked up a scalpel and nodded for Jack to ensure that Ianto was not likely to move, the last thing he wanted was more mess to deal with than necessary. His steady hand hovered over white skin, Ianto's spinal bones prominent underneath the surface. He could just make out the raised surface under which lay the offending device. Once more Owen prodded just to make sure the anaesthetic had taken hold, Ianto made no comment. He carefully slid the blade into the skin and cut an inch upwards almost into Ianto's hairline. The blood began to flow immediately and grabbing a swab Owen dabbed it away whilst continuing to cut around the perimeter of the device. With the tip of the blade he lifted back the flap of skin to reveal silver underneath. A moment later he was washing away the excess blood with saline in order to examine it more closely. With a grunt of annoyance he pulled down, from above his head, a magnifier and peered into the incision. It was not what he was expecting to find. The device appeared somewhat larger than the scans indicated. It took him a moment to realise that Jack had shifted his position slightly so that he could look as well.
"Is it me, or has that thing increased in size?" Jack queried.
Owen reached for his fine bladed scissors and cautiously poked the surface of the device. It appeared to shift slightly as if tightening against the bone and Ianto suddenly stiffened and groaned.
Owen immediately abandoned his original plan and swapped the scissors for a pair of tweezers.
"Jack grab the containment box and open the lid, I am just going to yank this thing out."
Jack did as he was told, leaning his weight down further on Ianto as he held out a small lead lined box, the lid open. Ianto tried squirming underneath him, his murmurs of pain smothered into the pillow.
With tweezers in hand Owen reached down and clamping the device he ripped it free and held it up. Under the lights they could clearly see long threadlike tendrils of flesh wiggling and reaching outwards, Ianto's blood dripping. Owen dumped it into the box and Jack sealed it shut, placing it back on the sterile trolley beside them. He looked down, realising that Ianto had stilled beneath him. Owen heaved out a sigh of relief and began to mop the blood from Ianto's neck. Jack backed up a little looking down at their patient.
"Owen, I think he's stopped breathing."
Owen froze and looked down as well. "Shit! Help me turn him over, now!"
Together they almost threw Ianto over onto his back, his cuffed hands making it awkward. Jack grabbed the keys from his pocket and released the restraints as Owen reached for the ambu bag. He passed it to Jack.
"Over his nose and mouth, squeeze that once after I do five compressions."
Owen flattened his palms over Ianto's heart and pumped down for all he was worth, feeling bone and cartilage shift under the pressure.
"One, two, three, four, five." He hissed pressing down vigorously in rapid succession. Jack squeezed the air bag and watched, somewhat fascinated by the assisted rise of Ianto's chest. The process was repeated a second time with no response and Jack was horrified to watch Owen ball his fist and slam it down on Ianto's sternum, once, then a second time. Ianto wheezed, hauled in a staggering breath and then began to cough as he tried to curl onto his side. Owen and Jack both raised their hands away as Ianto continued to gasp air in and out like a fish out of water.
"Jesus Christ." Owen grabbed his stethoscope and pulled over his monitoring equipment. "Fuck, fuck…. Tea Boy, you okay there?"
Ianto could only cough and grunt out a reply, which sounded pretty negative to Jack's ears.
"Alright mate, just taking your blood pressure now." Owen's bedside manner kicked in and Jack arched an eyebrow in surprise as he went to get a blanket from one of the cupboards underneath the work surface. Owen quickly ran through his checks, and finally satisfied himself that Ianto wasn't about to die on him.
Ianto remained on his side as Jack spread the cotton blanket over his shivering body. Owen secured a pressure dressing over the wound on Ianto's neck, deciding he would stitch it in a short while once Ianto had settled down. He walked around the table and crouched so he could look into Ianto's face. With his penlight he got a reactive response from contracting pupils, Ianto's watery eyes startlingly blue. Ianto buried his face away from the light.
"What happened?" Jack's soft accented tones filtered through and Owen glanced up from his patient.
"I'm not entirely sure. His blood pressure must have bottomed out, but I am still not certain he hasn't sustained some neurological damage." He looked back into Ianto's face. "Oi, Tea Boy, talk to me."
Ianto revealed his grey face and frowned in confusion. "What's going on? Ow…. My neck hurts."
"Do you know who I am?"
Ianto gaped at him. "Dr Owen Bastard Harper."
"And where are you?"
"Torchwood three, in the autopsy bay. Did you get it out?" His Welsh accent was thick with apprehension. "Please tell me it's gone?"
Owen nodded. "Yep, but I need to run some scans on you, can you sit up?"
Slowly and with some help from Jack, Ianto eased himself upright, tugging the blanket with him. Owen got busy with his scanner.
"Did I black out?"
"You stopped breathing, right when Owen pulled that thing out." Jack replied, a hand still at Ianto's back. Ianto tried to edge away from the intimate contact, but his neck hurt when he moved.
"Oh." He raised his hand, but Jack grabbed it to stop him touching the dressing now soaked through with blood.
"Leave it, Owen hasn't stitched it up yet."
Ianto dropped his hand, aware that he could feel the pain keenly alongside a banging headache and discomfort in his chest. A moment later he realised Owen was holding up his tourniquet.
"I need some blood, show me your arm."
Once again Ianto did as he was told, knowing that the faster he co-operated, the quicker he'd be back in his cell, but he couldn't help but voice his feelings.
"I don't know why you are bothering with all this." He muttered and then winced when Owen tightened the band around his upper arm.
"Shut up and let me do my job, you twat." Owen snapped, tapping at a vien. A needle was inserted and Ianto felt himself sway a little and the world greyed out a bit for a moment. He felt the heat from Jack's hand against his back and Ianto leant heavily against it. He hated needles, maybe he should have told them that. Owen released the band and Ianto bent his arm and hugged it to his sore chest. Jack was fussing with the blanket and wrapping it over Ianto's shoulders.
"Come on, lie down, you look like you're about to faint."
Firm hands steered him downwards and Ianto was grateful to be horizontal once again, the pounding in his head eased.
"Thank you, sir."
Jack smiled to himself, relieved as he felt Ianto physically relax. "Owen, is he okay?"
The medic grunted a reply then thought the better of it. "I'll keep him in here for observation. It'll take twelve hours for a full blood analysis to complete anyway and I need to suture that wound."
Jack nodded taking a step away. "Good, as soon as you're satisfied everything is clear, let me know and I shall take him home."
"Right you are boss, what about protocol 9?"
Jack shook his head. "Ianto, you're on suspension for four weeks with no pay, effectively immediately."
Ianto lifted his head and gaped, but collected his wits very quickly. "Yes, sir."
"And you will submit to whatever medical instructions Owen gives you."
"Yes, sir."
Jack turned and left. Ianto rested his head back down and bit down on his tongue to muffle the sob that threatened to escape him.