This story is UNFINISHED and will remain that way.
He couldn't move, the dark was pressing in on him and he couldn't cry out for help, his mouth was unable to move, and the dark was pressing harder and harder, but there was a golden light ahead, he wished to reach for it but he couldn't, he sobbed and called silently for it. The light was warm and he was so cold. Tied, immobile, chained to the wall. He cried as pain hit him, the light moved away from him and he hurt, it hurt so much. He screamed.
A scream tore through the air, not an uncommon occurrence at the Central Mental Institution, the on staff doctors rushed to the room, the patient thrashed in their bed, knocking any hands trying to calm him. The orderlies had to hold him down but he only struggled harder, crying out, lost in his head.
"Get 30 milligrams of the sedative!" the doctor called, a nurse handed him the syringe and he pushed it into the male's arm who cried out in distress before it took effect and he went limp.
Tears fell from his eyes and he gasped on the bed, watching the doctors mildly before closing his eyes and focusing on the gold light, a face, smiling and welcoming, looked at him. He wanted to touch the face but he couldn't lift his hand.
He whispered a name before the quiet, comforting dark embraced him and he fell again, back to his unconscious haven.
Edward Elric sat across from the head doctor of the Central Mental Institution, CMI for short, the man looked through some files. The young man wore a suit and had his long blond hair up in in a high tail, there was a bodyguard standing behind him.
"Well Mr. Elric I don't know what to tell you, he has amnesia and he's shown little improvement since he's been admitted, night terrors and even day terrors, he's starting to show the developing signs of MPD, multiple personality disorder. We can't seem to break through, there's some sort of block on his memories, he only remembers his time here, he doesn't recall anything before the incident or the incident itself, we are unsure of the cause, since there was no report of head trauma." The doctor summarized and Ed ran a hand through his bangs.
"So you're pretty much telling me it's hopeless," Ed said holding back the despair he felt, but the doctor cautiously shook his head.
"Not necessarily, at times he shows signs of coming back to himself, but that usually follows a flash back and his alternate personality takes over." the doctor said this in a way so as not to raise too many hopes but to not dash them entirely.
"So...what?" Ed asked ignoring his bodyguard who was trying to tell him he had an appointment in fifteen minutes.
"I believe that if we integrate things from his past slowly back into his life he may very well overcome the MPD and relapses, but the chances are minimal, it could also make things worse," The doctor said and watched the young tycoon's face, he was thinking about it very hard. Before he looked at the doctor in determination.
"Do it, I'll give you any funding you need, just bring him back," Ed said finally and the doctor sighed, he'd figured as much, then he nodded. They stood shook hands and Edward Elric was gone.
"Good morning," A nurse greeted the male who was sitting on the window ledge he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"If you say so," he said and she shook her head with a smile, then brought in the tray of breakfast food only to glare at the uneaten dinner from the night before.
"You didn't eat," she said then she glared at him and put her hands on her hips, he shrugged then turned away, his hand running through his short black, spiky hair unconsciously. The nurse was hoping it was a subconscious way of showing he didn't like short hair, since he'd had long hair before coming to the institution.
"Wasn't hungry," he muttered his eyes watching the outside through the plexiglass, the obsidian orbs followed the path of a bird as it flew up and away.
"Well that's too bad because I'm not going to leave until you finish breakfast," the nurse said crossing her arms. The male scowled, but didn't turn to her. She waited for a while, perhaps a half an hour before he moved from his perch and went to the table where she had set the food. You had to be patient with this job, she'd had to wait some very long time spans before. Half an hour was almost easy.
He started to eat but glared at the woman the whole time, she tried not to look too smug, but when he was finished she let a satisfied smirk grace her lips.
"That wasn't so bad was it?" she asked and he rolled his eyes before going back to the window and taking up his perch again.
"Depends what your definition of 'bad' is," he told her and she sighed before rolling her eyes and started to tidy up.
It's not that he was dirty, he just had a lot of things, mostly books and stuffed animals spread around the room, the only animal that managed to stay on the bed was a white teddy bear with a red bow around it's neck, everything else was on the floor. If she didn't know any better she'd say the room belonged to a six year old little boy not a twenty four year old young man. But it's not like it was his fault he was in here.
She shook her head, no she wasn't supposed to think about those things, that wasn't her job. Her job was to bring the patient food and help clean or help him bathe if he wanted. Nothing more.
"Hey," she looked up to see him looking at her she raised her eyebrows to acknowledge him, "I want to go outside," he said in that demanding way of his. She sighed again, then set the stuffed animals she had in her arms on a small couch against the wall.
"We'll see, I'll have to ask the doctor, but you've been doing well, I think you could use some sun too," she said with a smile, he nodded then watched as she took the trays and left, locking the door behind her.
He sighed then leaned against the window frame, and lifted his feet up on the window seat, he wrapped his arms around his knees. He looked around his room, it had been his for the last seven months, but he couldn't remember why. And then someone would send him books and stuffed animals, but he didn't know who. He didn't even know who he was, all he knew was his name was Envy Alighieri and he was a resident of CMI. But he knew nothing else.
Occasionally he would see things in his dreams, sometimes they filled him with warmth and happiness when he saw that gold light, but other times he felt cold and terrified. In those dreams he couldn't move and sometimes he would experience great pain. And then the light would leave and he would wake up crying or screaming. At least he would distantly, it was usually the other half of him that would, while the rest of him would try to figure out why.
The door was unlocked and the doctor came in, Dr. Hughes, he was friendly and calm but Envy didn't like him because he usually said no. His nurse came in after, her name was Gracia, he really liked her, despite his attitude towards her, because she was kind and gentle, and a lot of the times she would come in when he was crying and shush him and stroke his hair. And most of all hold him, he liked being held, but even when she did it, it didn't feel right. He was used to another set of arms, but that was silly...wasn't it?
"Good news Envy it looks like you get to go outside with me today," Gracia said happily and Envy looked at her surprised,
"Really?" and his eyes lite up, suddenly becoming brighter, a contrast to the dark and hard look they'd had before. Only Dr. Hughes noticed the change in the young man's eyes, usually if he'd had a nightmare during the night they were guarded and dark, but now they were open and glittering. So making him happy was a trigger. He had to take note of that.
"Yep," Gracia said sharing his happiness, he smiled at her and she came over to stand by him. Dr. Hughes smiled too.
"You can go outside on one condition," he held up his finger, and Envy seemed to deflate so he continued quickly, "You have to cooperate for some tests, I promise they won't take long," he said and Envy looked at him suspiciously.
"You swear?" he asked and Hughes nodded with a smile, he hadn't retreated like Hughes had expected.
"I do, in fact we can even do them outside," Envy smiled and nodded, Gracia held her hand out to him and he took it without hesitation, which Hughes was happy for, he was progressing in the right direction. When he'd first come he couldn't handle touch at all, he would grow frantic and then lash out if anyone even came within a foot of him, but now Gracia was the only one who could. It was better than nothing.
Gracia led the way to the garden, it had a high wall but so much vegetation around it it was hard to tell. The garden was some what of a sanctuary for the patients of CMI it was the only color they usually got in their day. Envy was special though. No one else had a very rich sponsor like he did, but he wasn't aware of that. He really didn't interact with other patients much.
"Where do you want to go Envy?" Gracia asked gesturing to the many areas in the garden, Envy pointed to the waterfall. Meant to soothe and relax patients with the sound of flowing water. It worked from time to time.
"Why the waterfall, Envy?" Dr Hughes asked out of both professional and genuine curiosity. Envy shrugged.
"I like water," he said and then crouched next to the water and poked it with a smile, watching the ripples with the curiosity of a child. Gracia smiled as he played in it. He splashed in it for a while before he took a hand full and threw it at Hughes. Envy started laughing and Gracia started giggling while he took off his glasses and wiped them clear of water droplets.
"Now that I've had my bath, I want to give you something Envy," he said kindly but Envy's face fell.
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again!" he cried in dismay and Hughes shook his head before smiling gently at him. Hoping to prevent the other personality from coming out.
"You're not in trouble, I have a gift for you," he said and Envy looked confused, a gift? But he got gifts a lot, from his sponsors, they gave him books and stuffed animals to keep him company, they even made sure he had a nice room.
Dr. Hughes saw the confusion on Envy's face and waited to see if it would trigger a shift but Envy just cocked his head to the side, Hughes gestured for him to sit on a nearby bench, Envy did so and was surprised when the doctor gave him a pad of paper and a pencil. He looked at him curiously.
"Can you draw something for me?" Hughes asked and Envy blinked before nodding hesitantly. "Can you draw that flower for me?" Hughes pointed to one of the water lily's in the pool of water bellow the waterfall. Envy looked at it then at the paper and pencil in his hands. He held up the pencil then looked back at the lily, he put the pencil to paper and dragged it down, his eyes widened at first like he couldn't believe that's what was supposed to happen, before he did it several more times. Then he lifted the pencil and held the pad up to show Hughes.
The man's eyes widened, it wasn't what he'd expected, he'd expected a child's drawing but this was that of a professional. Maybe one out of practice, but definitely not someone who was showing signs of amnesia. He quickly schooled his features before smiling.
"That's wonderful, now, can you draw the waterfall?" he asked and Envy nodded a little more confidently then he flipped the paper to a new sheet then started again. It took longer this time, but he showed Hughes the picture again and again the man was caught by surprise, it was better this time, textures and value. Hughes was impressed.
"That's wonderful, now can you draw me one more?" he asked and this time Envy looked eager to comply. "Can you draw me a picture of Gracia?" he asked and Envy looked at the woman who also looked surprised. Then he smiled and nodded enthusiastically, he scooted over on the bench to make room for her, then he moved her face to be looking a certain way before flipping over a new sheet and beginning with a smile, he looked up at Gracia so many times she started to blush. Then after some time, Envy showed it to her, she was looking to the side, a three quarter face profile, shading and curves, there was even a little bit of a blush on her cheeks.
"I've never looked better," she told him and he beamed at her, Hughes took a look at it too, he smiled and then asked Envy if he could have it because he liked it so much. The young man didn't protest and handed it over easily, Gracia glared at the man who merely smiled in turn. Then Envy clutched at the pad and pencil looking uncomfortable.
"Is something bothering you?" Hughes asked as they started heading back to Envy's room the male shook his head rapidly but then he looked at the doctor cautiously.
"Can I keep them?" he asked and Hughes had to think for a second about what he meant before he smiled and nodded.
"Of course, and if you ever need more just ask Gracia, she'd be happy to get you more," he said and Envy's face lite up in the most joy Hughes had ever seen, perhaps they were finally making progress.
The next time Dr. Hughes came in for a look in Envy's room, it was plastered in drawings. The young male looked up with a smile then leapt up to show him what else he'd drawn.
"Look! Gracia said that since I can draw everything I see I should try to draw things I don't see!" he said excitedly. Holding the paper to Dr. Hughes who could see Gracia sitting on the floor next to where Envy had been, only she had her face in her hands and Hughes could see she was blushing profusely.
He looked at the paper and could see why, it was a very good drawing of the two of them, Gracia and himself, kissing, he gave Envy a hard look.
"You haven't seen this right? I might need to be more discreet," he commented and Envy blinked in confusion while Gracia let out a tiny shriek.
Dr. Hughes grinned then he gave Envy a nod, who smiled back before he went to sit next to Gracia, oblivious that the woman was staring death at the good doctor.
"And then this one! I don't know what it is though," Envy said looking at one of his drawings with a critical eye before shrugging at it and setting it aside to look at another.
"So you're having fun Envy?" Hughes asked and Envy nodded with a huge smile, Hughes smiled back, "Good good, I was wondering, do you think you could draw me one of your dreams?" he asked and Envy cocked his head to the side, as if he didn't understand what the doctor meant, but Hughes knew he did.
Envy might have amnesia and he might act young, but that was because where he was mentally his emotions were raw, he had no facade to hide behind. His personality forgotten. He had no way to be sneaky or snarky and mischievous, as the doctor was told he had been. So on an emotional level he was a baby, and babies showed their emotions very easily. It was easy to deal with Envy when he was happy, he was much easier than some of the sever patients, but he was still an interesting case.
When he got scared, hurt or angry the other personality came out, he was apathetic, cold, indifferent, and an all around pain to deal with, and the only one who could manage was Gracia, and Hughes figured that was because 'Happy Envy' liked her so much. And Hughes sure couldn't blame him. Gracia was something else.
Hughes was broken from his musings by another picture thrust into his face, he blinked a few times before he saw it, there was long hair, it was a quarter profile, a closed eye was barely visible behind long bangs, the rest of the hair was tied up in a long tail. Hughes frowned the person looked familiar, maybe it was another patient. But that didn't seem right.
"Do you know who it is?" Hughes asked and Envy shook his head and looked at the picture with a small smile.
"Nu-uh, but whenever I see them I feel warm and happy, but then the dark and the pain comes and it hurts...and they leave and it hurts more," Envy started and Hughes could see the beginning of water works he put a comforting hand on the male's shoulder. "I don't like when they leave...it...it..." he sobbed and Gracia rushed over then engulfed the sobbing male into her arms she shushed him softly rubbing his back Envy clutched on to Gracia's uniform sobbing hard. Gracia looked at Hughes in worry but Hughes was too busy thinking to take notice.
Maybe Envy's dreams were the key here, if he could get Envy to draw all of his dreams which seemed to be how his subconscious was remembering the ordeal, then maybe Hughes could unlock his memories and he could be cured after extensive emotional therapy, finally go back to his life. After all he'd been missing for over a year and now he was here.
Hughes came back to the present with a smile then he looked at Gracia and she must have seen the look in his eyes, that spark of determination. He nodded at her before turning from the room to go research dreams. If this was going to work he had to do it right.
"Maes," Dr. Hughes was aroused from sleep by a hand on his shoulder, he looked over with bleary eyes and crooked glasses at a man standing next to him. The man had black hair like his own only it was slick and styled, while his black eyes looked amusedly in to the doctors hazel ones.
"Roy...what're you...Oh," Maes felt embarrassed, he had planned to go out to lunch with his friend but he'd fallen asleep from researching all through the night.
"I'm sorry I was researching this case last night and must have-" Maes started but a bark of laughter cut him off.
"Overworked yourself again and fallen asleep at your desk, again." Roy grinned at his long time friend who fixed his crooked glasses and rolled his eyes.
"Not like you'd know the meaning of work," Maes gave his friend a look who shrugged in a would be innocent way except for his twinkling eyes.
"I have once or twice," then the man sighed and took a seat in one of the hard wooden chairs, he flipped it around and straddled it.
"So tell me about the case I'm curious now, the last time this happened was that girl who turned out to be faking it by accident," Roy said and Maes groaned he preferred not to think of that one.
"No this one is real, he has amnesia, but his dreams are some how connected to his memories, and the effect has started to give him an alternate personality," Maes said and Roy's eyes widened.
"That's interesting, what happened that gave him amnesia?" he asked and Maes sighed then leaned back in his chair exhaustedly.
"We don't really know." Maes grabbed a newspaper clipping then waved it at Roy who grabbed it lazily, "But I'm sure you've heard of him," Maes said and Roy looked at the paper with a raised eyebrow. Maes watched as the other man's dark eyes widened.
"You're dealing with the Flamel Corporations' brat? The one who got kidnapped and held for ransom?" Roy asked stunned and Maes sighed then took the clipping back.
"He's not related to the Elric's he's a close family friend, he was kidnapped and held for about eight months before the kidnappers even suggested a ransom, it took two more months for negotiations to start and two more for the rescue effort, when they found him he was in terrible condition," Maes shook his head.
"He was so bad, he's lucky now really to have no recollection, except now we don't know how to help him," Maes sighed and Roy frowned.
"What do you know happened?" he asked and Maes let an eyebrow raised an eyebrow critically at his friend.
"You're too nosy Mustang, always trying to know everything," he told his friend who shrugged and sighed.
"You know what they say, knowledge is power," the man replied and Maes just shook his head in wry amusement.
"Some say. We aren't entirely sure what they did to him, there aren't that many scars, but according to the doctors who looked him over in the hospital his body is covered in scar tissue, they must have somehow managed to hurt him but not mar his skin in away that it left visual damage. And most of the mental damage was probably caused by rape, up until recently he would relapse if someone so much as brushed up against him, but the fact that he has an alternate personality this far progressed suggests it was forming before he was rescued, which means he under went emotional abuse and a lot of it." Maes ran a hand down his face.
"Wow, that's...that's...what have the brothers done?" Roy asked he hadn't expected that, he'd expected the young man to have chronic depression and other symptoms those who were kidnapped had.
"Edward, the elder, is adamant that we help him as best we can, he's funding everything, I'd say he was an emotional wreck too, the younger brother has been handling most of the company from what I've gathered." Maes said then he saw the look on his friend's face he'd seen several times before.
"No Roy you are not exploiting those boys just to get your merger, they've been through enough in the past five years, their whole life really," Maes said and Roy quickly schooled his features, but Maes narrowed his eyes.
"Roy," he said with a hard tone and the man looked like he was trying not to pout, before he rolled his eyes.
"Okay okay, fine. I won't. Happy?" he glared at his friend who smiled triumphantly.
"Remotely," he grinned and Roy rolled his eyes then stood up.
"Come on Maes I'm here to force food down your throat, you haven't eaten in a few days right?" he asked and Maes frowned.
"How would you know?" he asked and Roy smirked as he dragged his friend from his office.
"I have my sources," he said mischievously and Maes just sighed and followed his friend out, he was a little hungry after all.
"G-Gracia...?" Envy asked one night before bed, the woman came over to him from closing the curtains and sat on the bed.
"Yes?" she asked picking up his white bear and giving it to him, he smiled then hugged it to his chest before looking at the woman with scared eyes.
"What if I have another bad dream? I don't want to, they're scary...there are shadows...they hurt me...they whisper mean things to me." he told her and the woman tried not too looked surprised or excited at the fact Envy was remembering things.
"What do they whisper?" she asked in a quiet voice, taking a hold of his hand, like they were sharing a secret. Envy looked at her almost close to tears.
"They...call me names...and tell me I'm going to die...and...and they say...he forgot about me..." he choked, and the tears started to stream down his cheeks, Gracia quickly wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her shoulder, one of his hands took her uniform and clutched it so hard she was afraid it might rip, the other arm was tightly wrapped around the bear. He sobbed into her shoulder until he fell asleep.
Gracia put his head on the pillow then pulled the covers up making sure the bear was in his arms before she left to go find Dr. Hughes.
She went to his office and knocked on the door, she was granted entrance and walked in to see she wasn't his only caller.
"Hello Roy," she said and the dark eyed man stood up for her then took her hand and kissed it, she blushed despite herself.
"Hello beautiful," he said and she rolled her eyes then took her hand back, she went to go stand next to Maes.
"You haven't changed," she said with a smile, and the man chuckled then Maes turned to her with a smile.
"How can I help you Gracia?" he asked without his usual flirtatious air, and Gracia deduced it was because he was exhausted.
"By getting some sleep second, but first I was talking to Envy and he told me a bit about his nightmares," she said and the man sat up straighter and looked at her with excited curiosity.
"And?" he asked, grabbing a pen and a note pad to take notes, Gracia giggled at him, he was so cute when he was concentrated on his work.
"He told me the shadows whispered at him, from what he said, it sounds like he suffered a great deal from verbal abuse as well as physical." she said and Maes was busy writing on the pad, he didn't even look up when he spoke.
"Did he say what names they called him?" he asked and Gracia said no, he pursed his lips, and continued on.
"He said, they told him he was going to die and that someone had forgotten about him," she said and Maes looked up with a frown.
"Who had forgotten about him?" he asked and Gracia shook her head, Envy hadn't said who and it was likely even he didn't know. Maes put the pad and paper down then smiled at Gracia and stood up then before she could protest pulled her in for a kiss. She pushed back blushing and averting her eyes, though Maes saw them flicker to Roy and he knew she was embarrassed.
"Not at work!" she squeaked and Maes grinned sharing a smirk with his friend who winked then decided to take his leave, waving on his way out. Maes grinned at Gracia who went red but the next time he kissed her she didn't protest.
"You little whore...tell me you like it," the pain laced up his back and he cried out, struggling to get away but another hit to his face prevented him from moving again.
"You know he gave you to us, you're never getting out," those words hurt more than the pain, he sobbed in anguish and screamed as they tortured him.
"Envy!" a voice called out to him but he was trapped in his mind, he wanted to grab the sound of that voice and hold on with all of his will but something was holding him down, he cried out in anger and frustration, why couldn't he move?
"Envy! Please!" this voice was familiar too, but not the same as the first, he wanted to hear the first one again. He screamed again and cried out struggling against his restraints, he could feel hands on him holding him down. He sobbed as he tried to free himself, the shadows were pinning him, they were going to hurt him again.
A hand was on his face, trying to do something to him he whipped his head back and forth, trying to flail his limbs to get lose, but they were held firm and he sobbed harder, no he didn't like it.
"NO! NO! I DON'T LIKE IT!" he sobbed and thrashed then there was something touching his arm and he felt something slide in, a needle, no they were drugging him. He tried to struggle harder but then he felt his body weakening, he felt tears fall down his cheeks, and then his eyelids flickered. And he felt a hand brush away the sweaty bangs from his eyes, his eyes tiredly looked over to see his nurse sitting beside him caressing his face.
"Gracia...It's scary..." he whimpered, the woman grabbed his hand and continued to caress his face, she made hushing noises then moved to sit closer to him, she shooed people away and Envy distantly saw some orderlies walk out of the room. Dr. Hughes stood by the door with his arms crossed and a frown. Was he in trouble? He didn't mean to do anything wrong.
He started to sob again just as Gracia pulled his limp body into her arms, he cried into her shoulder she wrapped her arms around him and started rocking, crooning a soft lullaby as he started to apologize.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." he gasped a little for breath and Gracia shook her head as she pet his hair.
"There's nothing to apologize for, you did nothing wrong," she hushed him running her fingers through his hair, "it's not your fault," she whispered again and again until he was quiet and just sniffing from time to time, Then she laid him back down and then bent on the floor and picked up the bear and put it in his arms, she brushed a gentle finger against his face.
"Envy, honey, I need you to tell me about the dream, can you do that for me?" she asked gently and Envy looked at her, he'd been wondering why he was still awake. Usually after he had a nightmare they sedated him and he was out until morning. But they must have only given him enough to let Gracia calm him down. And so she could ask about his bad dream.
"W-why?" he asked her, swallowing another sob, he did want to know, but he also wanted to stall from telling her.
"We need to know, so we can help, we want to make you better," she said and he nodded then looked away from her to Dr. Hughes, who was no longer frowning, much to his relief, and only watching them, listening.
"I don't..." he started to mumble but then it flashed at him, like something had pushed it at him, "He was...hurting me...he called me a whore..." he recalled, and another tear ran down his cheek. Gracia swiped her thumb on his cheek and wiped it away.
"Then he said he said he gave me to them, that I was never gonna get away," he cried and Gracia shushed him caressing his face again.
"Who gave you to them?" she asked and Envy shook his head, he didn't know, he couldn't remember.
"Envy," a soft voice said and the male looked to see the doctor standing behind Gracia, "I know this was hard, but you did very good. We're going to do this every time you have a nightmare so you can tell us what it was okay? Then we can find out what happened to you, do you understand?" he asked and Envy nodded, he understood it, but he didn't like it.
"I don't like it," he told the doctor a bit petulantly, who sighed like he knew that was going to happen.
"I know, but after I'll give you the sedative and you can sleep all night is that fair?" he asked and Envy nodded after a moment of thought. He hadn't liked it because he preferred just being sedated back into unconsciousness, but now he just had to tell them what happened and then he'd get to be embraced by the comfort of nothing again.
"Do you remember anything else?" the doctor asked as he moved around the bed, Envy thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. The doctor nodded then pushed the needle in his arm, Envy had to look away, he wasn't a big fan of needles, but at least he wasn't afraid of them. He had been afraid of needles hadn't he? Envy shook his head, he must have been getting drowsy, he blinked a few more times, Gracia's face was the last thing he saw before he fell into the warm darkness.
"How is he?" Dr. Hughes turned to see two blond men, both with body guards in his doorway, the one in the front was Edward, so the one behind him had to be Alphonse, the younger brother. Of the two Elric brothers the executives and owners of the Flamel Corporations, Hughes could tell who the tough one was and who the soft one was, it was probably different from what other people thought.
"He is doing better, the art tip was helpful, he has been drawing his dreams for us, I'm convinced that his dreams are the key to his cure, we've also made it so he can tell us about them immediately after, so far I've discovered he was being verbally abused as well as physically, and combining the two tends to have sever effects on the psyche. However there also seems to be immense emotional abuse." Hughes turned to look at the older brother.
"Mr. Elric what exactly was your relationship to the patient?" he asked and the blond's eye brow rose, his eyes looked faintly amused but mostly exhausted.
"You miss out on a lot of news Dr. Hughes?" he replied a little sarcastically, Maes raised an eyebrow. Edward snorted.
"We were lovers, it was all over the papers when the paparazzi caught us kissing outside of a restaurant after a date." he replied dryly and Maes was only partially surprised, he knew they had been close, best friends maybe, but lovers. That was a little unexpected, oh well.
"Well that might explain a few things, he has told us that 'the shadows' whisper things to him, like 'you were sold to us', 'he doesn't care about you, he never did', 'you are our prize', things like that. It sounds like propaganda. They were trying to poison his mind against you it seems," the doctor said and he watched the young man's eyes widen in shock and disbelief.
"No," he breathed and then he grit his teeth and Maes saw tears pool in his eyes, then the younger brother put a hand on his shoulder and stepped up to take the plate.
"Do you know why they were trying to do this or how far they got?" Alphonse asked and Maes looked grim.
"We don't know why, we probably never will unless one of them is caught, and I'm afraid it got very far. We believe this is the reason behind his MPD, one personality believes it and the other refuses to, it's possible the one that believes it was up front in order for self preservation, if he went along with things he was less likely to get hurt, but then the other personality must be...his heart." the man said hoping he didn't sound too mushy gushy, but there weren't very many scientific explanations about ones heart.
"He must have loved you very much Edward," Maes said encouragingly, the blond male took in a deep breath.
"Does he...remember me?" he asked, almost terrified to know the answer and Maes sighed.
"To an extent he does, he remembers you in his dreams, he draws pictures of you all the time, he's dubbed you 'the warm light', I think you were his anchor the whole time he was there, and they figured it out so they tried to turn it against him, this is all speculation of course." the man said and Edward nodded before looking up with determination.
"I want to see him," he demanded, and Maes frowned, he looked at the younger brother who was looking at him with an expression that said 'if you say yes he'll walk all over you,' and Maes narrowed his eyes.
"That's not a wise decision, if he sees you and he has a negative relapse it could set us back months," he told the boy who narrowed his eye and found the loophole, he wasn't the head of a corporation at the age of 22 because of his pretty face.
"And what if it has a positive effect?" he asked and Maes sighed, he hated dealing with people as smart as himself, it was always so tiring.
"Then it has a positive effect, but that doesn't equal out the negative effect," Maes said then Ed frowned at him and glared. Maes half expected he would snarl.
"Five minutes, I haven't seen his face in over seven months, you can give me five minutes," he said and Maes sighed, you can't argue with heartbroken and educated sponsors.
"Fine, but if he relapses you get out of that room, am I understood?" he asked and Ed nodded, then Maes led the way to Envy's room.
Before he opened the door he told Alphonse and the two bodyguards to wait outside, luckily no one protested, he opened it and almost laughed, the number of drawings had nearly tripled since the last time he'd come in. Two heads looked up and the dark one hopped up and bounded over to him.
"Look! I drew another one of the light! It's pretty right?" Envy asked holding up another picture, and he was sure it was Edward this time. Dr. Hughes smiled and nodded then pat the young man on the head, and was happy he'd gotten away with it, the boy just smiled at him for the affectionate gesture.
"That's wonderful. I brought someone to see you, would you like to meet him?" he asked and Envy blinked then nodded a bit surprised he'd never gotten visitors before, that made him excited.
Envy nodded then looked past the doctor to gaze at the stranger, his eyes lite up like stars when he spotted Ed, he went past him and looked at Ed, then he smiled.
"You're really pretty," he told the new comer who smiled a little hesitantly, and then Envy frowned and looked down at his drawing and gasped.
"Wow! You look just like my light!" he said then thrust the drawing in Ed's face, "See?!" he said excitedly and Ed looked at the drawing to see that it was in fact of him, a very good one of him too, he had his hands up pulling his hair out of his face, his eyes were closed, but he was smiling slightly.
"I do, it's a very good drawing," he said and he felt like he was talking to a child and not his lover but he saw Hughes nod at him, so apparently he was doing okay.
"You like it?" Envy asked and Ed nodded then Envy beamed at him, "if you want you can have it! I have a whole bunch!" he said happily and forced the paper into Ed's hands but Ed didn't mind, it made him smile.
"Thank you Envy," he said and the male beamed brighter at him then grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the other person in the room.
"This is Gracia! She's my friend," he said and Ed nodded at the woman who smiled back looking happy that Envy was so excited.
"Oh what's your name?" Envy asked a little deflated that he hadn't asked sooner, but Ed had to swallow a sob.
"I'm Ed, we used to be...friends," he said and Envy nodded then looked a little sad.
"I'm sorry I don't remember you Ed," he said sounding very sincere and Ed smiled at him then shook his head.
"It's okay, now we can just be friends again, here I have a present for you," he said and Envy perked right back up.
"For me?" he asked sounding very excited and Ed nodded then pulled something out of his pocket.
"Yeah, here," he put the small object in the other males hand who looked down at it curiously.
"It probably doesn't look familiar, but you gave it to me the first time we met," he said and then Envy nodded and smiled.
"And now you're giving it back! You're smart!" he said and Ed laughed a little, so maybe it wasn't his Envy, but he was really cute. He wasn't feeling as heart broken as before to know that Envy still remembered him and he was his anchor. But he still missed the one he'd fallen in love with.
"Thanks, here I'll help you put it on, it goes on your ear like this," he took the small ear cuff and put it on the male as gently as he could, and the other sat very still, just in case, he looked over to see Gracia and the doctor looking very surprised, like they'd expected Envy to lash out. But he hadn't.
"There," Ed said and Envy tried to look at his ear and Gracia giggled then held up a small mirror for him to see it in.
"Wow!" Envy said after checking himself out then he threw his arms around Ed, "Thank you!" he said happily and Ed laughed again but he froze when he felt Envy tense up, and then he felt his heart drop at the sound of a growl deep in the other males throat.
Envy pulled back with a sniff and then he snarled and his hands came around Ed's neck faster than he thought Envy could move.
"You!" he hissed and Hughes and Gracia moved seconds later, calling for some orderlies while Hughes came over to try and separate them.
"HOW DARE YOU! YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU! HOW DARE YOU PRETEND TO CARE AFTER WHAT THEY DID!" Envy screamed as Hughes pulled him away and two orderlies came in and took the males arms and freeing Ed's wind pipe who gasped for breath and looked in horror as Hughes took a syringe from his pocket and put it in Envy's arm. After another moments struggle he went limp and the orderlies put him in the bed and Gracia came to the rescue, Ed was ushered out by his body guard and Hughes sighed and followed them out, the orderlies coming out last.
"Well honestly that went better than I thought," Hughes sighed and Ed looked at him in shock, before the man smiled at him, "That's a good thing Mr. Elric, he was doing just fine, but something triggered the change, I believe it was a smell." Hughes said then he stepped over to Ed, "May I?" he asked and Ed shrugged still a little bit in shock at what had happened.
Hughes bent over and sniffed the young man, he smelt most prominently of some after shave and then musk and shampoo and very faintly cigarette smoke.
"Hmm, cigarette smoke, I bet that was it," the man said and then the door to Envy's room opened and Gracia stepped out closing the door gently behind herself.
"It was cigarette smoke," she said and Hughes grinned. Ed looked astonished, he was gazing open mouthed at the man,
"How did you know?" he asked aghast and Maes smiled at him then gestured for them to come away from the residence hall.
"It was the least noticeable smell, he hadn't noticed until he was right next to you, and it most likely set him off because one of his tormentors smoked and it was ingrained in his memory," Maes said and Gracia nodded.
"I asked him and he said 'he smoked before every time'," she repeated and Maes nodded, then turned to Ed.
"I suggest that if you wish to visit him again you shower before hand," he said and Ed nodded, but Maes was sure it would be a long while before he came to visit again. Hughes turned to go and heard Ed in the background.
"Ishmael you are forbidden from ever smoking again," he told his bodyguard with the X shaped scar on his face.
"Yes Sir," the man replied clearly amused, Ed huffed and Hughes shook his head and turned around the corner.
Envy was walking down the path trying to get to his next class on time, but lucky him it was clear on the other side of campus and he'd left his skateboard in his dorm, again. He was sure he was going to be late. Again. He sighed and tried his best to hurry but then he felt his headphones catch on one of his earrings, he sighed and stopped. Then got ran into and he and another person fell to the ground in a heap.
"Hey watch where you're going!" he told the other person, who sat up getting detangled from Envy's legs and Envy froze, those were the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen.
"Sorry I was...what are you staring at?" the person asked and Envy blinked then shook his head and smiled.
"Sorry, you have the most intriguing eyes I've ever seen, I'd love to draw them some time," he said right up front and the other person blushed.
"That was a little forward," he said and Envy started laughing, then he leaned back on his hands and grinned.
"Yeah well I've never really been known for tact,"he said and the blond grinned, his eyes lighting up in a way that made Envy want to start drawing this stranger right then.
"Me neither, My name is Edward by the way," he held out his hand even though they were still on the ground, but Envy didn't care.
"No way, I thought for sure with hair like yours you were a girl," he grinned as he took Ed's hand, "Nice to meet you Ed, I'm Envy," he replied and Ed looked a little put out by the girl comment.
"What kind of name is Envy?" he asked and the male shrugged just brushing it off, then he gasped and leapt up.
"Oh shit I'm late!" he said and gathered up his stuff, "I'll talk to you later Ed. You're not getting away from me, I have to draw you, I'll see you later," he grinned down at the male after picking up all of his stuff and turned to go but Ed called him back.
"Wait! I think you dropped this!" he said and Envy turned to see him holding up one of his ear cuffs.
"Huh? Oh. Hey you can have it, I gotta go!" he said then turned and left, and Ed just stared before shaking his head and gathering up his stuff, he looked at the tiny ear cuff, he looked around before he put it on his own ear. He shook his head with a laugh and took it off before putting it in his pocket. What a strange guy.
Envy was sitting on his floor again trying to draw but didn't really feel like it, when Gracia came in carrying a large bag.
"Hey Envy, how are you today?" she asked and Envy shrugged, pouting a little as he looked at the blank pad in his hands.
"I don't know...I feel...lonely," he said and Gracia frowned then sat next to him putting the bag down next to her.
"Well I can stay for a while, and I have a present from Ed, you remember him right? Maybe it'll make you feel better," she told him with a smile and he nodded then she pulled the present out, he took it and blinked, it looked just like his drawing pad only bigger. Then she handed him something else.
"Ed told us you used to paint, we thought you might enjoy it again." she said giving him the paint and he stared at it for a moment before his face broke out into a smile.
"Painting!" he said happily then he took the paint and brushes from his nurse set it all up then started painting happily, Gracia smiled. It was good to see him feeling better, he had been depressed ever since Ed had gone and that had been almost two weeks ago, Hughes had said that could very well be a very good thing. Meaning that he was feeling very guilty for what his alter personality had said or he was missing him because he subconsciously remembered him. Or both.
Envy started painting with renewed gusto, he started humming as the brush moved over the paper, Gracia noticed that yellow and gold were being used the most and she had to remember to keep a lot of that in stock. She smiled as she knew what the young man was painting.
It was another one of Ed, he was laying in the grass though he was upside down to the viewer, his hair was spread out around him like a halo, his arms around his head as he laughed, his eyes were barely open like the image had been captured right before they had closed. It was a beautiful painting and Gracia insisted they put it on the wall.
"Oh Envy it really is beautiful, we'll have to invite Edward back to see it," she said and Envy looked very happy at the prospect. He came over to her then set his head down on her lap, where she proceeded to run her fingers through his hair which he really liked and she wondered maybe if Ed had done it too.
"Really? You think he'll come back?" he asked sounding a bit doubtful and Gracia nodded.
"I'm positive he will," she said and he smiled before slowly falling asleep, Gracia stayed with him all night and he didn't have a nightmare.
Envy was doodling when he looked up and saw the subject of his drawing, he grinned then waved in his direction, the other waved back and came over to sit down in the small café that was on campus.
"Hey there, I was wondering if you would show," Envy grinned at his companion who shook his head as he sat down, setting his drink down first.
"I'm surprised I had the time, I have 22 credit hours to get through," he said and Envy's eyes widened.
"Whoa talk about overload, you sure you can handle that?" Envy asked and Ed's eye twitched, Envy stared at him.
"Did you just make a jibe at my height?" Ed asked calmly, and Envy blinked before he started to laugh.
"Not at all! It was a jibe at your femininity!" he grinned when Ed screeched at him and hurled his napkin across the table. "Haha, no I was actually talking about your age, you're a freshman right?" he asked and Ed nodded.
"You know it's usually recommended for a freshman to take 12 credit hours, aren't you totally exhausted?" he asked sincerely and Ed shrugged.
"I really don't have much of a choice, I'm the heir to a big corporation and my dad...he isn't doing very well," and then Ed froze and stared at Envy.
"I have no idea why I just told you that," he said eyes wide and staring at the boy in front of him, who set down his sketch pad, and Ed realized he'd been drawing the whole time.
"It could be that I'm easy to talk to, it could be because it's really bothering you and you haven't told anyone, it could be you're just tired or it could be you're just scatterbrained," he grinned at Ed's outraged screech before continuing, "It doesn't really matter why, but the fact is you did, and I'm not going to tell anyone. I don't know you well enough to have a reason for black mail yet," he grinned and Ed snorted.
"Yeah? Well I don't know you very well either, so why did you invite me here?" he asked and Envy laughed.
"To get to know you obviously, Princess, and besides you're a great model," he said and prevented Ed from going nuts by the Princess comment by shoving his sketch pad in his face. It was a simple sketch of him, he was glaring and looking a bit petulant, Ed felt himself redden. He didn't really look like that did he?
"Wow you're really good," he said and Envy smiled at him in thanks then took the pad back and flipped the page to start another sketch.
"I'm an Art major, well I was," he rolled his eyes but didn't expand on it, "Anyway, I was wondering if, when you had the time, you could come back to my dorm so I can paint you properly, it'd be near impossible to try and get your hair and eye color right by memory alone," he grinned at Ed who was gazing at him a bit confused, Envy smirked.
"I've already tried," he said and Ed went pink, this guy had to be obsessed with him or something.
"You really want to paint me?" he asked and Envy nodded his smile becoming genuine.
"Yeah, I haven't been this inspired since...well in a really long time." he said and Ed nodded, "So will you let me paint you Ed?" he asked and Ed thought about it.
"I don't know, I really don't have time..." he muttered, but honestly, he kind of wanted this guy to paint him.
"If you just come over during your homework time, I'll be fine I just need to see you, you don't have to pose or anything, I've got a pretty good memory," he said then he grinned, "See?" he then gave the pad back to Ed and he looked down to see two new drawings, one was a profile where Ed was scowling and the other was of him looking down at the pad and blushing, jeez the guy really did have a good memory.
"Yeah, okay, I'll come over," he relented and Envy smiled giving him his dorm number and room number.
"I've been sure to remember you, Princess," he said then he left leaving Ed spluttering at the table, his cheeks pink and his mouth agape.
Ed tapped on the dorm door and it was opened after a short wait, Envy grinned at him and let him in.
"Hey thanks for coming, you can just plop down anywhere and do your work," he said and Ed nodded as he looked around, the place was kind of messy but not really filthy or slobishly so, it was organized clutter there were clothes in a corner and painting supplies everywhere. Ed liked it.
"Nice place," he grinned and Envy grinned back.
"My room mate didn't think so, so he moved out," Envy said, not mentioning there was another reason his room mate had moved out but they weren't that close yet.
"I don't have a room mate my dad is a little paranoid," Ed said then almost slapped himself, again really?
"Oh? Then I'm surprised you don't have a body guard," he said but Ed didn't reply and Envy turned and smirked at him.
"Oh really? Where is he?" he asked with a laugh and Ed blushed and pointed to the door, implying that there was someone standing right outside it. Envy started laughing, he bent over and clutched at his stomach.
"Okay okay! Just tell me, is he there during dates too?" he grinned but stopped seeing the look on Ed's face.
"I don't have time to date, I don't have time to be here either, I should be studying and getting ready to take over for my father," he said turning for the door but Envy caught his wrist.
"Yeah that may be, but you also need to take a break from time to time before you do," Envy said sincerely, "Just stay and let me paint you, please?" he asked and Ed didn't know why he said yes.
But he did.
Ed watched through an observation window as Envy smiled happily at the painting he had just done. It was another one of him no doubt, he hadn't gone in to see him in over a month, he didn't want him to go through another relapse. But according to Dr. Hughes Envy had been asking for him, wanting to know where he was and why he hadn't visited, Ed couldn't help it, he'd even showered before he came.
He sighed as he saw him ask Gracia where he was, and felt his heart clench, he wanted to see him badly too, but he wanted to see him well, hear his laughter and sarcastic comments and see him smile and watch him as he painted. He missed him so much, it was so painful to see him like this.
"I want to see him," he mumbled to the man in the room with him who looked up, his glasses catching the light.
"Okay, you don't smell like smoke right? Okay, now just be warned that something you say or do could also trigger a relapse and if it does, call for help right away got it?" Dr. Hughes asked and Ed nodded as he exited that room then tentatively knocked on the other door before opening it.
"Hey, can I come in?" he asked gently walking in and then he had an armful of Envy moments later.
"You came back!" he said bristling with happiness, Ed smiled at him hugging him back, it felt so good to touch him again and not almost get strangled.
"Of course I did, I was really busy with work though, I'm sorry it took so long," he said but Envy shook his head.
"It's okay as long as you came back, come on! I wanna show you!" he dragged the blond over to look at the paintings he'd done and he was right they were all of him.
"Wow, they're beautiful, I never knew I could look so amazing," he said smiling, happy that Envy blushed and beamed.
"You're so nice!" he said happily then threw himself at Ed again and took him down to the floor. They landed with a thud in a pile.
"Be careful Envy, you don't want to hurt anyone," Gracia reprimanded gently and Envy got off of Ed.
"Sorry," he said a little abashed but Ed smiled at him then cupped his cheek.
"I'm fine, you used to do it a lot actually, tackle me to the ground," he teased and Envy went pink and gasped.
"I did?! Oh no, I bet you got hurt a lot!" he said sounding offended by his own actions and Ed started to laugh. He really was very cute like this, but that didn't stop Ed from missing him, the one he had gotten to know.
Envy smiled at Ed who was asleep on the floor, they had been doing this for several weeks now, Ed would come over on Friday and study on the rug while Envy painted, it was pretty typical now, and Envy noticed that Ed was overworking himself and needed the sleep so he let him, and decided to draw it, he did look very beautiful while asleep.
He was so caught up in drawing the sleeping blond he didn't notice when the hours had passed and he woke up again, he did hear his exclamation however when he'd learned the time.
"Oh my fuck! It's so late!" he said standing up Envy looked at the wall clock and felt a little guilty, it was almost midnight, oops.
"Holy crap," he said, "I totally didn't notice the time." Envy said truthfully and Ed glared at him.
"Why didn't you wake me up?" he asked, showing he was in fact not very happy, and Envy rolled his eyes.
"I wanted to draw you," he gestured to the easel, "And besides, you needed it, it's not very appealing to show people pictures where their models have bags under their eyes," Envy said and Ed snorted.
"Yeah well I have an appointment tomorrow and I needed to be up early," he bristled and Envy rolled his eyes.
"Fine then stay the night and get your sleep here, I don't care," he shrugged and stood up to go wash his hands.
"Unless you can't sleep unless it's on your four poster bed, Princess," he grinned and Ed shrieked.
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" he yelled and Envy laughed, then dried his hands on a towel and turned back to Ed.
"Really, you can invite your bodyguard in or dismiss him or whatever, if it's too late for you to go home just stay," he said and Ed slumped.
"It is late...fine, but don't expect it to happen again!" he said and Envy laughed.
"It's like you think I'm trying to coerce you to stay here, though I would love to have royalty stay the night," he grinned then plopped on his bed and gestured to the other one. Ed grumbled at him, but before he went to lay down he opened the door and spoke to the person outside. Then he plopped on the other bed and Envy shut off the lights.
They sat in silence before Ed spoke, turning onto his side to face the other person in the room.
"Why do you call me that?" he asked and he was sure he had surprised the older male, who was laying on his back.
"Besides to irritate you, you mean?" he gave a low chuckle at Ed's grunt, "I dunno, when you said you were an heir, it just made me think royalty, and well you've got long glossy blond hair like princesses in fairy tales," he said and Ed grumbled at him, too tired to go off the handle.
"Fine, but what about your name...what kind of name is Envy?" he asked and Envy laughed knowing the boy was already half asleep.
"I don't know really." he replied flippantly and then he heard soft snores from the other side of the room, Envy shook his head and chuckled again before falling asleep himself.
Ed sighed and put his face in his hands, he didn't want to do this. But he had to or all of his father's hard work would be for nothing he couldn't let the company fall just because he was distracted, Al was doing his best but Ed knew all of the company's inner workings and Al was a better people person than Ed and that's why he was the liaison between other companies in foreign countries and other ones in Amestris, while Ed stayed home and did what he did best and made money by doing all of the dirty work, or that's what Al called it anyway.
It really wasn't much, he just had a lot of paperwork and he looked over the factories he owned, they were metal making factories. The method he had designed to make the metal components saved them hundreds of thousands of Cenz a year, he was making three times as much money his father had been, he hoped his parents were proud of him because of it, but he couldn't know.
He and Al's mother had died when they had entered high school from a disease, it had been very hard on the three of them and their father lost himself in his work to distract himself, but he worked so hard he made himself sick, and then the company, which had already been making millions started going down hill, Ed had decided to go into business in order to keep his father's company afloat. He'd told the man of his plans and he'd told his son he didn't want him to do that and instead to go his own way, but Ed said that was his way. The man had tried to dissuade him despite knowing how stubborn his first born could be.
He'd eventually agreed to handing the company down to his son, also giving him some advice before passing to go and join his wife. He'd told his son that work meant nothing if you didn't have anyone to share it with, but to have both was to give one up. Ed hadn't understood what that meant at the time, and wished he had. Especially now.
He leaned back in his chair and sighed all this thinking was giving him a headache, he needed to relax. He should go visit Envy, he hadn't gone to see him in ages. The only problem was the last time he'd gone was right after he'd had an episode and had caused him to relapse again, Ed closed his eyes.
That had hurt, hearing the man scream at him, blaming him for his condition telling him how much he hated him. It hurt, but Ed knew it was true, if Envy hadn't known him, it wouldn't have happened. He would be happy where ever he was, but then again maybe that wasn't true, they would never know, there was only ever memories.
"Brother?" a head popped into the room and Ed waved him in sitting back up, sighing and shaking his head of his thoughts.
"Hey Al, what is it?" he asked and the younger male shook his head, crossed his arms and sighed.
"Brother, do you know what time it is?" Al asked and Ed blinked that was an odd question, he looked at the clock and saw the time. It was 3:34 as in the AM. It's too bad he couldn't' get paid overtime.
"Holy crap," he mumbled and then Al was by his side and grabbing his arm, pulling him out of the chair and towards the door.
"Brother, I wish you would take better care of yourself. You need to be careful or else you could get sick," he said and there was an unspoken 'like Dad' added to the end of his statement.
"Yeah...I know..." he muttered and let his younger brother take him to the car. Ed sighed and leaned against his brother in the back seat, he was so tired but he was just so...distracted.
He wished it was like how it had been before all of this when they had been happy together, that time had been wonderful, every single moment had been better than this, even the times when they fought, it was still the best time in Ed's life.
Envy looked forward to whenever Ed came over more and more often, they were starting to become really good friends, Ed tended to complain a lot, about how a lot of people thought he was a girl and a young one at that because of his height. And then as time went on he started complaining about other things like how when he visited home the housekeeper had cleaned his room and he'd gotten so mad at her. Envy was learning a lot of things about the young man that tended to influence his paintings.
Ed was asleep on the other bed again and Envy smiled down at him as he put away his art supplies, his teacher was starting to get infatuated with Edward because of all the paintings he'd been doing of him, she would almost drool every time she saw a new one and this one was no exception, this one had Ed looking out the window a small smile on his face as he put his hair behind an ear, he hadn't noticed that Envy had seen it, but Envy loved it, he was sure it was one of the few of his paintings that had Ed doing something other than scowling.
He smiled at the painting then covered it up excited to reveal it in the class the next day, he put it in his portfolio and then went over to plop down in bed looking at Ed one last time before doing so, but stopped and stared, Ed looked so beautiful asleep, no scowl no frown, face smooth and relaxed, his hair pooling around him reflecting the moonlight from the window, Envy had seen it a dozen times before and each time it took his breath away. He padded over to the bed and slowly moved a bang off of his face, then let his finger slide gently, softly down the side of Ed's face and cheek.
Then he didn't even realize he had bent over until he could feel his breath fanning over Ed's face and then ricochet back to him. Their lips were so close, he shouldn't, he really shouldn't but they were open slightly soft air whispering in and out, plump and red asking to be kissed. He bent over and gently hoping to be imperceptible, softly brushed their lips, a tingle from his bottom lips grew into a warmth that spread through his entire body, he stood up fast.
"Shit," he breathed then turned around and went back over to his bed, breathing the word shit the whole way he was halfway into his bed when he fell down from surprise.
"Why did you kiss me?" Ed asked quietly and Envy fell to the floor with a thud and in a tangle of his own limbs, he turned to see that Ed had sat up and was staring at him, his beautiful golden eyes staring holes into his head.
"Um whaaat? Naw, you must have been dreaming or it was the wind!" Envy chuckled unconvincingly, but Ed just stared at him and he went red and went back to his snarky self to try and save face.
"Why do most people kiss other's Edward? Or maybe you're unaware," he said and Ed crossed his arms, clearly telling Envy that he wasn't buying the act.
"I asked you why?" he said flatly and Envy went redder but glared back.
"Maybe I felt like it," he replied somewhat coldly and Ed realized it was probably because of his own attitude that the black haired boy was getting so defensive, he relaxed his stance somewhat and Envy deflated a little himself.
"I just want to know," Ed said quietly and Envy clenched and unclenched his jaw before smirking.
"Why do most people kiss, Ed?" he asked before standing and getting into bed, "I'll let you figure this one out on your own," he said and Ed knew he wasn't going to get anything out of the older male.
Though what he really wanted to know was why had he not stopped it when he knew it had been coming
"Gracia? Why do people kiss?" Envy asked, she had been reading him a story book, Sleeping Beauty, as it was, he was leaning against her shoulder his fingers playing with the edge of her dress.
"People kiss to show how much they love one another, actions express louder than words. Why?" she asked and Envy sighed.
"Just wondering..." he muttered and Gracia put an arm around him and gave him a gentle squeeze.
"I feel really tired...can I take nap?" he asked and she smiled gently at him moving off the bed.
"Sure," she said and he smiled then snuggled under the covers she lifted for him, and took the bear offered and sighed softly.
"If I have a bad dream you'll wake me up right?" he asked and she nodded brushing a growing strand of hair from his face.
"Of course," she replied and he smiled nodding before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. She stood next to him for a moment longer before moving away and starting to clean up, there were portfolios holding art work everywhere, and his stuffed animals were on the ground again. She sighed before starting to pick up. It didn't take too long, about fifteen minutes or so and then she went over to the light and shut it off but just before she could open the door to leave there was a soft whimper.
"Oh drat," she said softly and then went over to the bed, being careful not to touch him. "Envy, time to wake up." she said softly, and his whimpering stopped for a moment before it started up again, louder. She frowned in worry, usually that worked, she put a lock of her hair behind her ear in frustration.
"Envy, sweetheart, it's just a dream it's okay," she said gently but a little more loudly and he cried out.
"Ed!" he said and Gracia blinked he'd never cried out for Ed like he needed him. "Ed! I...Ed!" he rolled over, and she saw small tears starting to make their way over the bridge of his nose and down his cheek. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay," she started but he thrashed out, knocking her hands away, he sat up fast his eyes wide with fear, he looked around the room searching for something, when he didn't find it the tears started falling in rivulets.
"I want Ed!" he sobbed and Gracia put her hands on the bed, not touching him, making soft hushing noises.
"It's okay I bet he'll be back soon, you can maybe see him tomorrow," she consoled but Envy whipped his head back and forth.
"I want him now!" he cried, and then the door opened, showing in Dr. Hughes and to Gracia's surprise and relief, Ed. But Envy couldn't see him, he had his hands over his eyes sobbing into them.
"What's wrong?" Hughes asked frowning in concern, Gracia moved her hands on the be nervously, as Ed stayed behind Hughes warily, just in case.
"He was taking a nap then he started having a nightmare, and I tried waking him he woke up demanding for...Ed," she said and Hughes and Ed blinked in surprise.
"For me?" Ed asked quietly and Gracia nodded, Ed immediately went over to Envy's bedside, taking Gracia's place, gently he took a hand from Envy's face.
"Hey..." he said taking the hand in his own, Envy would have lashed out had he not seen who it was, his sobbing stopped for a moment, then he threw himself at the blond who caught him, a bit surprised as the dark haired male clung to him and started sobbing into his chest.
"Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed!" he sobbed, chanting his name like a mantra and Ed made soft hushing noises, petting his head soothingly looking at Gracia and Hughes a little lost. Gracia nodded at him and gestured to continue what he was doing.
After a few moments he'd calmed down enough that he wasn't chanting, Ed was sitting on the bed with him, holding him, and feeling heartbroken. He hadn't held him like this in over a year. Envy let an occasional sniffle break the silence, and then Gracia came over and sat next to them, she took the bear and then handed it to Envy who smiled and wrapped an arm around it before setting his head back on Ed's shoulder.
"Envy, can you tell us what happened in your dream?" Gracia asked gently and Envy shook his head against Ed's collar.
"I can't remember...it was dark...but I can't remember," he whimpered clutching onto the bear and then snuggling into Ed more who tightened his arms around him and made a small soothing sound.
"Just dark that's all?" Gracia asked softly, and Envy nodded.
"An then my head hurt...it hurt so much and I wanted Ed..." he said and Gracia frowned then looked at Hughes, he was frowning too. What on earth would cause that? He wasn't sure but he was going to find out. He turned around and left leaving the other three behind.
"Ed...please promise..." Envy whispered and Ed couldn't hear he moved a little so he could see Envy's face looking down at the bear in his arms.
"What?" he asked quietly and Envy, shoved his face in the crook of the blond's neck, his words barely audible.
"Please promise you'll never leave me," he breathed and Ed shut his eyes in pain, He'd said that before. He'd said it before he'd been taken, he'd said it hours before he'd been kidnapped. And Ed had been stupid, had said something harsh because he was upset. He hadn't meant it, but he'd said it and he'd seen the hurt, the pain and betrayal flash in his lovers eyes, it had made him almost want to yank out his own vocal chords out.
"I promise." Ed declared, and Envy sat up a little.
"Really?" he asked and Ed nodded bringing a hand up to gently caresses the black haired male's face like he had so many times before.
"Yes. I can't always be here, but the moment you call for me I will be here as fast as possible," he said and Envy smiled then slowly and lightly gave him a peck on the cheek, at first Ed was surprised then he smiled and hugged the other male. Things were looking up, they had to be.
Ed wasn't sure why but he went back the following Friday. He was up before Envy was on Saturday morning and they hadn't been able to talk about the night before and the...kiss.
Ed blushed, he'd had all week to think about it. And naturally he'd come to the conclusion that Envy was gay. And that he liked...well him. Ed blushed even more. He thought it was odd why would he fall for him of all people? They barely talked...but then again yes they did, they talked whenever Ed finished his homework early and even during at times, it turned out that Envy was a fair hand at all of the business courses Ed had taken and could help him if needed. But they also talked about other things, weird people on campus, the strange smell in the dorm halls, the movies coming out. They talked quite a bit, and Ed knew Envy's favorite food was cheese his favorite artist was a guy by the name of Chiaro Scuro, he'd failed seventh grade because he'd run away from home and then his parents had grounded him for near eternity.
Ed knew a lot about him, but couldn't remember sharing things about himself, but then again he let things slip a lot hadn't he? Maybe Envy knew him even better than he knew him? It was possible. But if it was true, why on earth did he like him?
Ed knocked on the door to Envy's dorm, and waited no answer he knocked again maybe Envy was sleeping? That would be odd.
"Oh," Ed turned to see Envy holding a grocery bag and looking at Ed a bit shocked, "I didn't think you would come back..." He said and Ed frowned.
"Why would you think that?" he asked and Envy walked forward and unlocked the door, not looking at Ed.
"I kind of thought you were done with me after leaving at an ungodly hour last Saturday without leaving a note, I sort of figured that was it," he said and Ed's frown deepened.
"Why?" he asked kind of feeling like a broken record, and Envy looked at him, there was a bit of wariness in his eyes.
"It wouldn't be the first time someone has left me like that," he said and Ed saw the remains of hurt, he had an overwhelming urge to hug the older male but didn't.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I had a meeting early that morning, I didn't mean...I just..." he flushed and Envy's eye brow shot up.
"You just what?" he asked and Ed crossed his arms a bit petulantly.
"And I was just embarrassed okay? That was the first kiss I had since that one girl in high school," he said and then Envy smiled slightly.
"You're not still a virgin sill are you Ed?" Envy asked with a grin and a wink, Ed went pink.
"No! And why does that matter?!" he squeaked and Envy just started laughing, he wasn't done for a while but when he finally wiped the tear from his eye and looked up at the scowling blond he grinned.
"It doesn't but asking was definitely worth seeing you blushing and flustered." he replied and Ed made a small noise in the back of his throat that could have been a restrained screech.
"I am not flustered," he declared and Envy grinned mischievously, his eyes flashing in the same manner.
"No...but you sure are cute," he grinned and Ed spluttered and flailed a bit.
"I AM NOT!" he yelled and Envy broke out into laughter again, then sat down on his bed and dug into the grocery bag.
"So you're here, I expect you're going to continue being my model." he said and Ed nodded still a bit indignant, but sighed then bit his lip.
"You kissed me..." he started and Envy looked up a bit shocked holding a tube of paint, Ed bit his lip again, "Would you...do it again?" he blurted out and then immediately went pink, he hadn't exactly meant to say that, but hey it worked.
Envy blinked at him not quite positive of what he'd heard, but then he stood up.
"Are you sure?" he asked and Ed nodded, "Do...do you even like me?" he asked and Ed nodded once again.
"I was thinking about it a lot over the week...and you're the only person that I've felt... comfortable around outside of my family, and being kissed by you wasn't awful...it was just shocking," he said and Envy smiled then took the few steps it took to reach the blond.
"I'll have you know, 'awful' is never a word used to describe me," he grinned then took Ed's chin and pressed his lips lightly against his, Ed's eyes slipped closed and then arms were around his waist and his own were around the taller male's neck.
It was a pretty good first formal kiss if they did say so themselves.
Ed walked into Envy's room and smiled he was curled up with the bear and sleeping soundly, he was so cute.
"Envy?" he called softly, but the older male didn't wake and he didn't want to try and shake him awake that could lead to a relapse.
He walked over to the bed and sat down gently, then softly put his fingers on the dark head, and started running his fingers through the short locks, he sighed a bit, he loved Envy's hair, it was always soft and flowing around him, He wished that he could paint too so he could capture how beautiful his lover looked, but sadly he couldn't even draw stick figures.
"Oh Envy, I'm so sorry..." he whispered, and kissed the sleeping male's head, he took the hand that was resting by his face and kissed it gently.