I made my deadline =)
This story is a sequel to "With A Little Help From My Friends" which goes AU after the season four finale and is set a few years into the future. This story picks up the day after WALHFMF ends and Chuck has just found out he is the father of Blair's son.
I haven't finished outlining this story yet but I should assume it will be around ten chapters. And there's not going to be another sequel to follow it, so the storylines will be resolved before this one is over =)
Hope you like it!
For the first time in what seemed like forever Blair felt relaxed. She had arrived back at her father's chateau a few hours earlier, having taken the night flight to Paris, and had finally gotten to hold her boy again. They had never been apart for this long before and even though the reunion held some mixed emotions she was glad to be near him again.
She had stretched out on her side on the bed, leaning on her left elbow, resting her cheek in her hand. Sebastian was curled up next to her sleeping soundly and with her right hand she gently caressed him, running her hand through his blonde hair and down his side, occasionally stopping to caress his cheek. She knew she should have stayed in New York until the whole mess she had created had been settled but she felt her son needed her more. She could go back to the city in a week; by then Chuck would have had time to calm down and think about things rationally. He would have had time to realize that the last thing he wanted to do, and the last thing that he should do, was to stay out of his son's life. Blair had done more than enough damage to his future relationship with Sebastian. He should work to remedy that. He was the only one who really could.
Looking at her son, holding him, talking to him, it all served to make her feel more guilty. Her only comfort was knowing he was still very little and perhaps he could overcome the damage she had caused. He could still grow up with both his parents and never even remember a time when his father was not around.
The one whose wounds might not heal was Chuck. She didn't want to think about how he had reacted or of the conversations they had had before she left. She had never seen him like that and she hoped she never had to again. Knowing that she was the one who had caused it made it a hundred times worse. She had once promised herself to do her best to protect him from those who tried to hurt him and instead she had become the one who hurt him the most.
Her arm was starting to get sore from supporting her upper body. She stretched it out and rested her head on her shoulder, coming on face level with Sebastian. He had been incredibly clingy since she had arrived back home and she didn't mind one bit, except for when he wanted to come with her to the bathroom. Once he woke up from his afternoon nap she would go outside and play with him for a while but for now she was content to just lie there with him. Watching him sleep calmed her, though it also stung a little with the reminder of how many moments like this his father had missed out on. That feeling had been there his whole life and Blair wondered if it would ever go away. At least if Chuck and Sebastian were brought together they wouldn't keep missing out on these things. She had to be careful though. It scared her to think Chuck might still go too far in the other direction and want full custody. She thought it highly unlikely since he knew it wouldn't be good for their son but she didn't dare to completely dismiss the thought. What they needed was to find a balance.
Sebastian sighed in his sleep and scrunched his face for a second. Then he mumbled something and seemed to relax even further. Sometimes he reminded her so much of Chuck and other times it was hard to know who he looked like. All she really knew for sure was that he had gotten his father's eyes and not his mother's. The rest of his features were more difficult for her to distinguish. She had thought about studying a photo of him next to photos of herself and Chuck at that age but hadn't gotten around to it yet. It didn't really matter who he looked like. He was theirs no matter what and she loved him more than she had ever loved another person. She knew she would love any child she bore no matter what but she also knew that there was something special about Sebastian because of who his father was.
She reached out her arm and wrapped it around him, snuggling closer. He wouldn't nap for much longer but she didn't think she could stay away until he woke up again. She closed her eyes and slowly drifted off. Her last thought before falling asleep was about Chuck, wondering how he was doing.
It was lunchtime in New York. Chuck returned home after spending one more night in the hotel room he had hidden out in after his first confrontation with Blair. He was alone in the apartment, without a clue as to where Nate was and not really caring. When he walked inside his bedroom he spotted his phone and briefly wondered how many missed calls he had. Probably more than he wanted to know. He wondered if any of them were from Blair.
He sat down heavily on the edge of his bed and slowly began to loosen his bowtie. The day before he had told Blair he wasn't going to try and fight for his rights to his son. Now it all seemed unreal, like it had just been a bad dream. There was no way he had an unknown child with Blair.
He forced himself not to think about it, or about his decision. It was the hardest decision he had ever made and on one level he deeply regretted it. On another he knew it was the best solution. He couldn't think of any other way to keep the innocent child from being caught in the middle. He just hoped his son would be able to forgive him someday for not being there.
He wasn't sure how long he had sat there when the bedroom door opened. He glanced lazily to see who it was and didn't feel very comforted when his eyes fell on Emmy. Seeing her reminded him that when the bomb dropped about his son he had been about to break up with her. He wasn't sure what he was going to do about that given what had happened between him and Blair and it felt like one of the least important things to figure out right now. He did wish though that she hadn't shown up. If he had wanted her company he would have gone to her place, not to his own apartment.
"There you are, finally!" Emmy exclaimed and strode over to him, letting her handbag drop to the floor as she went. "I've been calling you time and time again since the day before yesterday; I've been worried out of my mind!"
"I'm not in the mood" he said tiredly.
"Nate's been looking for you too" she said, walking inside his bathroom to fill up a glass of water. "He said something crazy, something about you and Blair and… Where on earth have you been?"
"Not in bed with Blair if that's what you're asking" Chuck said in monotone.
"Don't be ridiculous" she said, coming back out with the glass of water. She handed it to him and began to take off her jacket, walking towards his closet to hang it up. "I was worried something had happened with that whole… project of hers."
"Oh something definitely happened…" Chuck said. "Nothing I care to talk about right now. If you don't mind I'd rather be left alone."
"You've been left alone long enough" Emmy said. "Please Chuck, you have to call me. You can't just disappear like that."
"I do what I damn well please" he said sullenly. "I need time to myself. We can talk in the morning."
"At least come back to our place" Emmy said. "I'll draw you a bath, we'll order in Chinese food. I've got a lot of work to do on my project before tomorrow so I won't be bothering you much. But I can't concentrate on work when something's clearly going on with you."
Suddenly the bedroom door which she had closed flew open and nearly hit her on the shoulder. She recoiled and gave Nate a surprised look as he came barging in.
"Chuck!" he exclaimed. "There you are! Thank God, I was running out of places to look. Did you talk to Blair? What's happened, tell me!"
"Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?" Emmy asked, looking a touch annoyed.
"Can somebody please respect my request to be alone?" Chuck snarled back. "I do not want to talk about this right now. Do you understand?"
Nate looked from Chuck to Emmy and back. He thought Emmy's presence might be just what Chuck needed, but not right now. He didn't blame his best friend if he needed some time to make some form of sense of what had happened before he even attempted to explain it all to his girlfriend. He turned to Emmy and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Listen Emmy, why don't you go back to work and I'll talk to Chuck? There's a lot of stuff going on and it's a touch complicated and I don't think this is the right time to try and explain it."
"Your suggestion is that I go to work and then go home and try not to think about it?" Emmy said skeptically. "That's not going to work."
"Chuck will call you in the morning" Nate insisted and walked over to grab her jacket. "There's nothing you can do here today."
Emmy looked highly skeptical and turned to her boyfriend.
"Just talk to me" she begged. "Whatever it is we'll deal with it together."
"Nate's right, it's better that we speak in the morning" Chuck said, a bit more composed now. "Go on home and… come by for lunch tomorrow if you're free."
She studied him with a frown for a minute before slowly nodding and putting her jacket back on.
"Okay then" she said. "Promise you'll call me if you need me."
"I'll see you out" Nate offered and ushered her out the door.
Chuck sighed heavily and leaned his head back so that he was staring at the ceiling for a moment. How was he going to be able to explain everything to her? He had decided to end their relationship and she had no idea, now all of a sudden the woman he had essentially left her for had turned out to have betrayed him and he had a child out of nowhere. It wasn't easy knowing what to do with that.
Nate returned a few minutes later and closed the door behind him, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
"It really is true then…" he said. "You have a child. A child with Blair."
"The boy's name is Sebastian" Chuck mumbled, letting himself fall back on the bed. "Figures she'd name a kid after seafood."
"So what are you going to do?"
"There's nothing to do" Chuck sighed.
"Where is Blair now?"
"I don't know and I honestly don't care."
Nate frowned. He had expected Chuck to be fully focused on finding out more about the child and working on how he would win joint custody but instead his friend seemed lethargic and uninterested.
"Well, I mean…" he stuttered. "What is it like to suddenly have a child?"
"You don't want to know" Chuck said and rubbed his eyes. "This is not exactly how I wanted to become a father."
"Yeah, no shit." Nate paused for a moment. "What's he like? Who does he look like?"
"How the hell should I know?" Chuck snapped.
"Sorry. I figured you had asked Blair this kind of stuff."
"All she did was babble about what shows she watched when she nursed him and other useless stuff. I wish I knew what happened, how we ended up like this, but it's not like I can ask her. She'll either lie through her teeth or give me some nonsense answer that doesn't help me one iota."
"It seems like Dan knows a hell of a lot more about all of this than any of the rest of us. You should call him."
"Well I would if I could find the area code for Hell."
"I can't believe he knew this all along and he didn't say a thing."
"It's not Humphrey's silence that bothers me" Chuck pointed out sullenly.
"He's never been your friend but he has been mine" Nate replied. "The fact that he could keep something like that secret… I would have never pegged him for the kind of guy who would lie by omission about someone having a child."
"If Humphrey's hypocrisy surprises you then you must not have been awake these past few years" Chuck remarked dryly.
Nate walked over to the bed and sunk down next to Chuck, staring at the ceiling. He didn't have the first clue what to say or what to do.
"So how… are you taking all of this?" he asked.
"Just swell" came the sarcastic reply. "Finding out you're a parent doesn't really rank with the noteworthy stuff of your day."
"Come on man, be serious. I'm shocked and appalled. I can only imagine how you feel. I still can't believe Blair would keep something like this from you."
"Turns out I didn't know her like I thought I did… Turns our she didn't love me like I thought she did."
Nate nodded slowly.
"Now what?"
"Now nothing" Chuck sighed. "Life goes back to something that pretends to be normal."
"What, you're going to let Blair get away with this?" Nate exclaimed.
"If there was any way I could launch a vendetta without that child getting caught in the crossfire I would be plotting the grandest takedown of my life" Chuck said. "As is… the bitch wins."
"Dude, you can't let her get away with this" Nate objected. "Come on man, she completely screwed you over! Don't you want to know your son?"
"Of course I do!" Chuck snarled. "But what happens to him? He's supposed to shuttle back and forth across the Atlantic, going between his mother, the only parent he's ever known, and the father he's never laid eyes on? I swore I would never subject my children to the kind of crap I went through growing up."
"That crap was your mother being either dead or MIA" Nate pointed out. "Shouldn't you be making sure the kid has both his parents in his life?"
"Being raised only by his mother is better than two broken homes on two separate continents and half his time spent with a father he'll probably never be able to bond with."
"You don't know that."
"Oh, yeah, sure, him and I will bond instantly because of the genetics we share. He'll be super excited to shuttle back and forth between his parents. He'll cross the Atlantic on the back of a flying unicorn and we'll go chasing rainbows and find the pot of gold."
"Why the hell can't Blair move back here?" Nate questioned. "New York is her home. You can't tell me she prefers the boring French countryside. You saw her this past week. She was ecstatic to be back in Manhattan, back where she belongs. Clearly rural France bores her out of her mind."
"Are you really that naïve?" Chuck snorted. "Do you think she kept him a secret all these years because she likes to share? She doesn't want me involved, that much is pretty clear."
"Why the hell do you care what she wants?" Nate asked. "Blair has forfeited any rights to have an opinion." He paused and shook his head. "I just can't wrap my mind around it. It doesn't sound like her to do something like this. Something must have happened; something weird must be going on."
"What are you saying, this is all my fault?" Chuck snarled. "Blair could never do something this bad so obviously it must be because of me or something I did? Because I'm always the one most at fault, aren't I?"
"Take it easy, that's not what I meant. Something might have been going on completely unrelated to you. Maybe Louis and his family were involved."
"I don't care" Chuck snarled. "I don't want to care. What Blair did should not be dismissed and it shouldn't be forgiven. I don't want to know what drove her to make the decisions she's made because I don't want to feel any sympathy for her after what she's done. Forget about what she's done to me and think of what she's done to my child. If she thinks I will forgive her for this she's as deluded as her curly-haired co-culprit."
Nate studied him for a moment. He looked really haggard but at least he wasn't drunk off his ass as Nate would have expected him to be.
"Have you slept much?" he asked.
"Not really" Chuck mumbled.
"You look like you're going to fall asleep at any moment. Why don't you get some shut-eye and I'll see if I can get a hold of Blair."
"What for?"
"She should come over here and talk this through."
"We've talked. The decision has been made. Enough said."
"I think it's a mistake."
"I think what you think is irrelevant."
"Fine, but I'm going to call her anyway" Nate said, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed. "If you don't want to talk to her right now then that's your business but I would like an answer or two."
"Don't bring her over here" Chuck said. "I don't want to see her."
Nate nodded and urged Chuck again to try and get some sleep. He walked out of the room and dialed Blair's new number.
"Do you think Blair wants some dinner?" Roman asked Harold while putting the finishing touches to his casserole.
"She ought to be hungry when she wakes up" Harold answered.
"How is she?" Roman asked. He had been out when Blair returned to the chateau and when he got in she had fallen asleep.
"She seems to be just fine" Harold said.
"Her New York problem worked itself out?"
"I assume it has. She didn't say anything to me but she seemed to be in a good mood when she got home. We haven't really had a chance to talk; she's been busy with my grandson every moment since she got in. She seems really calm though. I'll go wake her up and see if she wants anything to eat."
He walked down the hall towards his daughter's bedroom and heard voices when he approached. He knocked on the door and opened it to find an exhausted Blair being subjected to a million questions from Sebastian, who had woken up from his nap and was curious to know more about what his mother had been up to that had kept her from coming home.
"Did you meet the king of America when you were away?" Sebastian asked, standing on his knees on the bed and lightly shoving her hips to get her to get up.
"America doesn't have a king, honey" Blair yawned.
"Then who is as important as a king that he would be so important that you couldn't come home?"
Blair reluctantly sat up and stretched a little, for the hundredth time thinking to herself that something needed to be done about Sebastian's grammar.
"I had a problem in New York and I had to take care of it" she answered.
"Hey Blair bear" Harold said from the door.
"Hey Dad" Blair yawned.
"Are you hungry? Roman made casserole."
"Don't like casserole" Sebastian pouted.
"There are pancakes for you."
"Pancakes?" Blair echoed. "For dinner? You've been spoiling him while I've been away." She yawned again and stretched. "Casserole sounds good. I'm not very hungry but I probably should eat something. Come on Sebastian."
The boy quickly got down on the floor and ran over to the door where he halted and turned to look at his mother.
"Hurry up Mom!"
"I'm coming."
She got up and cast a glance in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, she had bags under her eyes and her clothes were wrinkly. Normally this would upset her but she felt calm. She ran her fingers through her hair a few times and then joined her son by the door and took his hand. They walked towards the kitchen and Sebastian kept asking her questions.
"Do they have pancakes in America?"
"Yes."
"Do they have maple syrup?"
"They do."
"Do they have meatballs?"
When they reached the kitchen Roman came over and lifted Sebastian up in his chair before greeting Blair with a kiss to each cheek.
"Blair, it's great to have you back."
"Merci Roman" Blair smiled. "Dinner smells lovely. I'm sorry I'm not all that hungry."
"That's alright. How was your flight?"
They kept making small talk while they sat down to eat. Blair would have preferred getting a few more hours of sleep but she managed to eat at least a little bit of dinner. Sebastian finished long before the rest of them and Blair let him go off and play with the Tintin toys she had bought for him in the States.
"So did you get everything settled out when you were over there?" Harold asked as soon as Sebastian had left the kitchen.
"Well… Yes and no" Blair answered and reached for the bowl of salad.
"Meaning what?"
"What was even going on?" Roman asked. "It sounded like you were in quite the trouble. What happened?"
"A shady journalist found out about Sebastian and threatened to publish the news unless I paid him three million dollars" Blair said. "Only he gave me ten days to come up with the money and the whole affair seemed strange so I asked my friends to help me figure out what was really going on."
"You have friends in the States besides Dan?" Roman asked.
Blair froze for a second, her fork halfway to her mouth. Then she continued to eat and a serene smile came over her face.
"You know" she said. "Serena, Nate."
"Charles?" Harold asked.
"And Charles" Blair admitted, momentarily losing her serene smile. "They all helped me even though I didn't tell them what it was all really about."
"Were you able to stop that man?" Roman asked.
"If they weren't we would have read about it in every newspaper by now" Harold pointed out dryly. "What happened Blair? Did you end up having to pay him?"
"My son will not end up in the media" Blair said. "At least not for the moment."
"Was it really so wise to involve Charles in the affair?" Harold asked.
"I thought Blair aimed to tell him everything" Roman interjected.
"I thought so too, a few years ago" Harold said. "But then you opted for silence Blair bear, which I still don't think is the best choice. Yet the choice was made and by asking for Charles to help you, you took a great risk. It's rather something of a miracle that he didn't learn the truth while he was busy helping you."
"He did" Blair chirped.
"He did?" Harold exclaimed, dropping his fork.
"What did he say?" Roman asked, thinking this was the best piece of gossip he had heard in months.
"He… took it okay" Blair said evasively.
"Blair" Harold said sharply. "What happened? Can we expect Charles Bass to come banging on our door any day now, demanding his son?"
"He's not going to fight me over Sebastian" Blair said. "Everything is fine, Dad. Don't worry about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check in on my son."
She rose and left the table, leaving the two men to share confounded looks.
"If he took it that well then this is good news" Roman said after a minute.
"I have known that boy since he was only a few years old" Harold said, leaning back in his chair with a skeptical frown. "He has never been the type to let things go or to just give up. Blair seems really calm so perhaps what she's saying is true and our lives can continue on as before. I just have a feeling that there's more to this story than she's telling us."
"Either he's agreed to let her raise Sebastian on her own or he's not" Roman pointed out. "What more can there be to the story?"
"I don't know. But she isn't telling us everything."
"I think you're worrying too much" Roman said and got up to start gathering the dishes. "The two of them staying here with us is splendid."
"For us, yes" Harold agreed. "Though it can't be what Blair has planned for Sebastian's entire childhood. If not sooner then they'll have to move when the time comes for him to start school. I always assumed that when the time was right Blair would take my grandson to New York to be united with his father. She got him enrolled in the best school on Manhattan after all."
"Now that may not happen" Roman said, cheerful at the thought of Sebastian growing up in France.
"We'll see" Harold said. "The last word has not been said in this matter. That much I feel sure of."
He got up and left the room, leaving Roman to deal with cleaning up and doing the dishes. He wasn't sure what to make of Blair's news or her own reaction to the events. If Blair was telling the whole truth he wasn't sure he liked it much and he was surprised that Chuck Bass would let his son go that easily. He knew his grandson needed a father figure in his life and that himself and Roman were a touch too old for the role. He could only hope that Blair and Chuck would be able to work out some form of agreement that would benefit everyone involved. Sebastian especially.
Chuck sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes, unsure of how long he had been sleeping. He had slept much better than he had expected, completely free of dreams and with no interruptions. Still he didn't feel much more energized than before he had gone to sleep and he didn't feel the least bit better about his situation.
After taking a shower he went into his closet and on autopilot picked out a grey shirt and a matching suit. He glanced over at his phone while he got dressed and decided to keep ignoring it. He had spoken to Emmy already, he had spoken to Nate, and whoever else might call him he could care less about. Even if it was Blair.
When he walked out of his bedroom he could hear voices. For a second he froze, worried that one of them might belong to Blair. Then he recognized his sister's mumbles and groaned. He hoped Nate had invited her over for his own sake and not because of anything related to Blair and the child.
He walked into the kitchen where Serena was seated on a barstool by the island, talking to Nate who was making an omelet. They both turned their heads when they heard Chuck enter and Chuck regretted having left his bedroom. He wanted peace and quiet right now, not tons of questions and talkative company.
"Is it true?" Serena asked him with wide eyes.
"So much for keeping it under wraps" Chuck sighed and reluctantly walked over to them.
"Chuck" Serena said sternly. "Tell me Nate's been getting stoned again."
"He probably has" Chuck acquiesced and took a seat on the barstool next to hers. "But if you're referring to Blair's special secret then yes, it's true."
"I do not believe this" Serena declared, getting down from her seat to start pacing back and forth.
"Join the club" Chuck mumbled.
"Want something to eat?" Nate offered.
Chuck glared at him.
"Yes Nathaniel. All my problems can be solved by your special omelet."
"Don't take it out on the omelet" Nate said. "You have to eat."
"This doesn't make any sense!" Serena said. "Blair would not keep something like this from me."
"Oh she wouldn't keep it from you?" Chuck scoffed. "Here I thought her not telling me was the biggest issue."
"There must be some mistake" Serena said. "Blair is capable of some pretty weird things but this goes beyond anything she would do."
"Look, there is no mistake" Chuck barked. "She flat out told me that it's true and she had no excuse. She didn't want me involved so she made sure I never knew a thing."
"Until Dan let the cat out of the bag" Nate said.
"Yeah, thank so very much sis for bringing him into our lives. That's another thing that kills me. She told Dan Humphrey but she never told me. How much do you want to bet that he was there holding her hand while she gave birth and I had no idea what was going on? That he was there for every significant moment of my son's life, moments Blair felt I shouldn't be a part of? That he's the god damn godfather when I never even got to be the father."
"Enough Chuck!" Serena said sharply. "I know Blair's lies to me aren't as bad as her lies to you but when it comes to Dan she has betrayed me every bit as much as she betrayed you."
"The hell she has" Chuck snorted.
"Alright, that's enough" Nate said and handed Chuck a plate filled with omelet. "Arguing isn't going to help matters."
"This is just… too weird" Serena said. "Blair having a child? Keeping secrets is one thing but this is a pretty big effin' secret. I don't think it's even possible to keep something like this a secret. Someone would have found out even if Blair and everyone around her managed to keep their mouths shut. I mean we're talking about a pregnancy here, and a child."
"Someone did find out" Nate pointed out.
"How can this have been the secret Blair asked us to help protect?" Serena wondered. "How could she spent that much time with us and never-"
"Serena would you please be quiet!" Chuck scowled. "It's bad enough going over all these questions in my head. It doesn't help to hear you saying them."
Serena walked over to him and threw an arm around his shoulders.
"Chuck I'm really sorry" she said. "I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I feel betrayed. I feel like crap and you must be feeling ten times worse."
He glared at her. He knew she was trying to be supportive but she wasn't helping. He pushed aside the omelet having only taken a handful of bites from it and walked to the living room. He sank down on the couch and wished Serena would leave and preferably take Nate with her. He didn't want to have to have the conversation about his next planned step with her. Having it with Blair and with Nate was bad enough.
Serena walked into the room and sat down on the couch next to him. She didn't say anything at first. She was torn between feeling furious at Blair and wanting to find some upside to the whole situation. Things were going to get ugly real soon and she wanted to find some way of minimizing the damage. She felt so bad for Chuck and wanted to help him find a good solution to this very unexpected twist.
After a few minutes Nate appeared in the doorway and leaned against the doorpost. He had run out of things to say. He hadn't had time enough to think through it all for himself, let alone figure out how to support his best friend through this new development.
"Maybe this can all amount to something good in the end" Serena said carefully. "Maybe… Maybe you guys can be a family."
"I can't be a family with her" Chuck said, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "This is too much. You can't rebuild from this."
"As if there's anything you or Blair cannot do."
"Turns out there is."
"You love her" Serena reminded him gently. "She's forgiven you for some pretty bad stuff. You can do the same for her."
"I wonder at what point you're supposed to stop forgiving each other and realize too much damage has been done and it's time to move forward" Chuck mumbled. "Besides S, this is too big to forgive."
"You love her" Serena insisted gently. "You were going to leave Emmy for her."
"You're leaving Emmy?" Nate said with a surprised frown.
"Not now" Chuck said, opening his eyes and looking over at Nate. "I need… I need time to think."
"You can't stay with her if she's not the one you want" Serena objected. "You said you were ending it whether you would be with Blair instead or not."
"You said what?" Nate exclaimed. "Have you gone mad?"
"How is this the most important thing right now?" Chuck asked with disbelief.
"Leaving her would be a big mistake."
"Are you hot for my sister or for my girlfriend?"
"This is not a joke Chuck" Nate said. "Emmy is good for you, you know that."
"It takes a bit more than that" Serena objected.
"The topic of my love life is now closed for discussion" Chuck said. "Don't I have enough troubles as it is?"
"You do have to think about it though…" Serena said carefully. "Emmy has to know about all of this. As long as you're sharing your life with her this concerns her a great deal. Even if you leave her tomorrow she still has a right to know or she will always wonder. Until she finds out from another source that is."
"I know" Chuck said. "You're right. I just don't know how to tell her."
"She believes you guys will get married someday" Nate said. "When you do tell her she's going to think of that kid as her stepson."
"She's never going to be a stepmother to him" Chuck said, marveling at how foreign the word sounded. "Whether we stay together or not."
"What do you mean?" Serena asked.
"He's giving Blair full custody" Nate explained. "The child will stay in France. I doubt anyone of us in this room will ever even see him in person."
"But… That's insane" Serena objected.
"I am not having this discussion with you Serena" Chuck said. "My mind's made up. It was the hardest decision I ever made in my life so don't try and change my opinion."
"But…"
"No" Chuck said. "That's how it's going to be. Who am I to uproot that boy's whole life and everything he knows?"
"You're his father" Serena said.
"There's more to fatherhood than just DNA" Chuck said in a desolate tone. "Being in his life would make me happy. Turning his world upside down would make him unhappy."
"Why do you keep talking like you wanting to be in his life is some sort of crime?" Nate asked. "Like his life changing to make room for you would somehow make you the villain? Blair did this. She put you all in this position. Why not let her take the blame?"
"My son… loves his mother. She's the only parent that he knows. I can't turn him against her. Do you have any idea how difficult it is as a child to be mad at your parent? He won't not love her no matter what happens and he shouldn't have to feel conflicted over it. I'm not handing Blair any victories. My decisions are based on what would be best for the kid."
Nate walked over and slumped on the couch next to Serena.
"I don't get to say this very often but… you're being a moron" he said. "You think you can just put it from your mind and go on like nothing happened. All three of us know that's not going to be possible."
"For that matter so does Blair" Serena added. "I'll bet you anything she expects you to change your mind and fight her for the boy."
"Maybe she doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does" Chuck said. "Just like I don't know her as well as I thought I did."
He stared blankly at the coffee table, drained of emotion. He didn't want to think about Blair anymore. He didn't want to imagine what she was up to or what was going through her mind. For the first time he had lost his faith in her completely. He had never before truly believed that she didn't love him anymore but after finding out the truth he didn't see how she possibly could feel anything for him still. The Blair he had known and loved would have come through for the people she loved and nothing would have been able to make her do something this hurtful to the people she cared about the most. The Blair who had kept her pregnancy a secret and hidden his son from him was a stranger.
He sat on the couch for over an hour together with Serena and Nate. None of them said a word during that time. He wondered whose side they would end up being on. Nate would be in his corner but he couldn't know for sure with Serena. Blair was her best friend after all and he didn't doubt that Blair could win her over if she tried. If Serena and Nate took opposite sides in this mess that could really ruin their budding relationship.
Blair woke up in the middle of the night from Sebastian shaking her. She opened her eyes and frowned, wondering what was wrong. He didn't usually come and wake her unless there was something wrong.
"What is it sweetie?" she mumbled sleepily. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"No" he whispered. "Just checking."
"Checking what?"
"That you're still here."
Without a word Blair pulled him closer and tucked him in with her. The calm she had been feeling was beginning to slip away. Chuck had had a point in that any major changes would be difficult for Sebastian. It was obvious that being parted with his mother for this many days had had an effect on him and being a part-time parent only had never been a part of her plan. She had ignored the possibility of Chuck and her sharing custody without sharing a life and a home and somehow that had now become the best case scenario. Or at least the best scenario that was in any way realistic. But it would mean a world of adjustment to her child, especially since it also meant moving to another country and living in a vibrant city rather than a peaceful country-side chateau. Somehow she had to find a way of making Chuck a part of Sebastian's life without making too many drastic changes in the child's life.
"It's okay, little Bas" she whispered and kissed her boy's brow. "I'm right here. Mommy will never leave you for long. And when I do go away I will always, always come back."
Kind of a slow opening but things will start to pick up pace by the next chapter =) Let me know what you though!