The Day Itachi Took the Tomatoes to School

It was a wonderful morning in Konoha. A morning when the birds chirped twice as joyful, breakfast was twice as delicious and the paperboys threw their papers twice as zippy (and therefore hit twice as many windows by accident).

The whole world radiated love of life and happiness.

Just a single human being felt – saying it in the euphemistic way – quite the opposite. Sasuke. He would have liked to disburden the annoying poultry of their heads, eat those instead of his disgusting breakfast and use this for stuffing the whistling paperboy's puss.

Unbelievable, it had only been a week since the "epitome of annoyingness" (as Shikamaru Nara might have put it) had come into his life. Its name was Naruto Uzumaki. Clumsy, loud... just... annoying.

Unmotivated, he set out for the bathroom. But even taking a shower could not cheer him up, because he considered the water either too hot or too cold, wherever he turned the faucet. Finally, he turned it off, put on his bath robe and went to the kitchen. A couple of tomatoes would probably do him good.

He opened the refrigerator and would have cried out, if it had not been for his coolness. One single tomato – how was this supposed to hold the necessary vitamins for helping him to a good start to the day?

Still convinced one tomato should do better than none, he took tomato and salt shaker, set down at the kitchen table, sprinkled plenty of salt on the tomato, took a bite – and grimaced with suffer.

"Bye, Sasuke," Itachi said emotionless while passing the kitchen. Suddenly, he stopped and turned to his brother: "You look as though you mistook the sugar shaker for the salt shaker... Oh, I DID mix them up yesterday... Seems like I forgot to tell you about my little accident."

By now, Sasuke had completely lost control over his mimic; forgotten was his coolness – all that mattered to him in that very moment were the tomatoes in the plastic bag Itachi held in his hand.

"I need these tomatoes for my Biology project; I'm very sorry, dear brother. How about an egg?"

"I. Don't. Like. Eggs."

"Well, too bad... But I'm sure if... no, when I get an A for my project, even you will understand the necessity of making little sacrifices for one's beloved brother every once in a while."

Little sacrifices, don't make me laugh! Sasuke's breakfast tomatoes seemed to be not only part of his daily schedule, but a pillar of his entire life. And Itachi knew that very well.

"Well then... I really have to get going now. See you, little brother." Itachi waved debonairly with his free hand and turned for leaving.

"Hey! What about me?"

"You... are not ready. I'm in a hurry, you'll have to walk. You better rush, if you don't want to be late... Well, account it training – being captain of our school's basketball team, you need to be in a good shape, in any case." This said, Itachi left.

As the result of Sasuke's skilled throw, the tomato ended in the garbage disposer. After all, it did not really make a difference that Itachi had ruined his breakfast – thanks to the conversation, Sasuke would not have been able to eat as much as he would have liked to throw up anyway.

"Sasuke-kun, finally... You're late... and so am I, thanks to you."

"Why didn't you just go inside the school building?"

"Well... I was worried after seeing Itachi coming alone. I would have asked him about you, if he didn't look like he'd bite off the head of anyone who dared talking to him."

"Something like that truly might happen." Sasuke grinned. " Come on, you just didn't want to go to the first lesson!"

"Maybe." Sakura laughed.

"Still, let's not be later than necessary," asked Sasuke taking her by her hand. Without hurrying, they went to their classroom.

"You're exactly ten minutes late," Kakashi Hatake, their English teacher, told them.

"Sorry...," both murmured obligatory. Sasuke felt relieved, seeing that Naruto was not there.

"Well... you shall be forgiven - how should you have known I'd be in time?" In a lower tone Kakashi added: "You better count on that more often, starting now. Tsunade-sama was so kind to give me a watch - and the implication there are teachers who disappeared under mysterious circumstances and were never seen again..." Kakashi cleared his throat. "Well, take a seat. We shall begin, er, continue with..."

In this very moment a loud bang sounded, followed by the exclaim: "NO, TOBI MUSTN'T SAY WHO DID THAT! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

The chitchatting had not vanished, yet, when Naruto's soot-blackened face appeared in the door. "Er, can somebody tell me the way to the next bathroom that wasn't blown up by a certain Deidara? I really have to go bathroom, dattebayo!"

"Again... Tsunade-sama will be mad...," Kakashi mumbled.

As to prove Kakashi's point, the head's voice sounded: "YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY TELL ME WHERE TO FIND DEIDARA, TOBI! THAT WAS ALREADY THE SECOND TIME WITHIN THIS WEEK!"

"Well... I have to go and look like I was imp... er... look whether things are progressing well. You should be fine by yourselves for a while. We are going to do presentations on literature in groups of three. The list with the groups is right here - so, get working." This said, the teacher disappeared, while Naruto was still standing at the door.

"Come, Naruto-kun, I'll show you the way to the bathroom," Sakura offered kindly. Sasuke made an atypically obvious gesture showing both anger and the disability to understand his girlfriend's behavior – in short: he slapped his face.

Sasuke's longing expression was directed towards the tomato with it's red pout, which whispered in an erotic tone: "Come and savor me..."

A "Sasuke, are you listening at all?" unkindly brought him back to the reality of the schoolmensa and clearly reminded him of the big gasp between him and the tomato (and its guardians). Deidara seemed to be talking about his last explosion using a lot of gestures – still, Itachi hardly seemed to take his eyes off the tomato for a single second. And when he did, it was in order to give Sasuke a scornful smirk.

"No...," Sasuke admitted.

"Oh, really? So, tell me, what did I just say, huh?"

"I have no idea. And that's exactly why my answer was 'no'..."

"Oh... was it?"

"Hn. Say, when did he accrue?," Sasuke asked baldly, pointing at Naruto, who was sitting right in front of him.

"Sasuke? Are you alright? May you have a fever?"

"No... I just got up on the wrong side of the bed, this morning," Sasuke explained, gently pulling Sakura's hand away from his forehead.

"Anyway, Naruto has been sitting here for about five minutes already – since I beckoned to him... Eat something, that will make you feel better right away."

"I didn't bring any food."

"Would you like a tomato?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke pricked up his ears: "To...ma...to...?"

"Yes. I can also offer you an apple... I have plenty."

An inner battle broke out inside of Sasuke: On the one hand he could not stand the way too lively Naruto Uzumaki the slightest bit and highly disliked Sakura being so... unnecessarily friendly towards him. On the other hand... there was the tomato. When... no, IF he took the tomato, that would not implicate he accepted Naruto – and most importantly any form of rapprochement between him and Sakura... would it?

"Tomato," he finally mumbled.

"Sasuke!" Sakura bristled at her boyfriend.

"...please," Sasuke added.

"Fine... So, can we talk about our project now?"

"Sure... I'm all ears...," Sasuke assured her, before taking a big bite of the tomato. He could fret about Naruto being part of his group later – when he was done being happy about getting a good grade for sure, since Sakura always worked out everything assiduously; all by herself, if necessary. In return, he could invite her to the cinema or something on the weekend...

"Say... You are the captain of the basketball team, aren't you?" Naruto interrupted Sasuke's thoughts.

"Yes."

"At my former school I also was a member of the basketball team... So... may I join you?"

"No."

About early afternoon, Sasuke and Sakura rang the doorbell of the Uzumaki's apartment.

It took Naruto a couple of minutes to appear at the door.

"Errr... Come on in," he asked. Sakura limited herself to a short sigh, before she started to try and find a way through the chaos of scattered things; whereas Sasuke could not refrain from both a disgustedly mien and the comment: "Is there any certain reason for your flat to look like it's been hit by a bomb?"

"Not really... Except for Deidara being my brother."

This time Sasuke resisted commenting "Sure Deidara isn't your sister?".

"Oh, you're relatives? - but you don't act like that at all."

"Neither do duckbutt and Itachi...", Naruto retorted, still sulking for not even having been invited for a trial practice by Sasuke.

"Hn," Sasuke made.

"I wished I had a big brother, too...," Sakura ignored the brawlers.

"Oh, Naruto... You have visitors? Seems like you caught up fast," Naruto's mother Kushina, who had been unseen due to the disorderliness until then, smiled.

"Oooh, good afternoon, Mrs Uzumaki. I'm Sakura Haruno."

"Hi. Sasuke Uchiha."

"Alas, you guys are so cute. I'm glad Naruto made friends already."

"Basically, this is about a project for school...," Sasuke clarified.

"Sasuke-kun! That's not true at all. Naruto is a very kind person and we enjoy coming here."

Although Sasuke could not stand Sakura using the word "we" in this context, he did not protest, because he did not want to argue with her.

"Yes... I'm terribly sorry about the chaos here. Unfortunately, my husband Minato didn't get the chance to clean up, yet...," Kushina explained.

"And why don't you clean up yourself?" Sasuke asked – forthright as he was.

"Well... I tried... Can't you tell? Okay... I have to admit that it probably wasn't a good idea to ask Deidara for some help... He reckons that to be art... Oh, Naruto. Did you happen to see Gamabunta? I want to feed him, but somehow I just can't find him..."

In that very moment, Sakura noticed the croaking creature sitting on her head.

"Aaaaah! A frog!" she exclaimed. "Take it away, take it away, TAKE IT AWAY!"

Chivalrously, Sasuke rescued girlfriend and animal from one another by taking the "beast" from Sakura and giving it to Naruto.

"Oh no, Gamabunta is a toad, not a frog," Kushina corrected smirking. "Thanks for finding him."

"Er... you're... welcome...," Sakura replied still quite hysterical, while huddling against Sasuke. After all, she felt like that disgusting being was still staring at her with its bulgy eyes.

"Oh, it seems like Gamabunta likes you, Sakura-chan!" Naruto concluded as the toad he intended to pass to his mother tried to jump towards Sakura again. For Sakura's sake, Kushina blasted that try by skillfully catching the toad in midair: "And now you are going to the kitchen with me, where a delicious snack is waiting for you. After that I'll better put you into your terrarium so I'll find you more easily... well, in case I find the terrarium." Naruto's mother left the room.

"I kind of get the feeling none of you read the book...," Sakura stated after two hours of trying to discuss the book with the boys.

"How should we? We've only been knowing since this morning which book we're supposed to present," Sasuke noted.

"I had a look at the blurb!" Naruto proudly announced.

"Did you just look at it or did you actually read it...?" Sakura dug deeper.

"Er... well..."

"Looked at it," Sasuke concluded.

"More than you did," Sakura retorted.

"Hn."

"'War and Peace' is kind of girly, you know?" Naruto wrinkled his nose.

"More important, you can prepare the presentation way better when you don't get distracted by our stupid ideas," Sasuke insisted promptly.

"Oh, really? And what if I consider it necessary to dress you guys up as girls for our presentation?"

"You'd never do that. The result would be all the boys falling in love with me, so you'd have twice as much rivals."

"Pah! I have absolutely no idea why anyone should fall in love with you."

"...Because I'm rich and good-looking?"

"Or maybe because you're arrogant and egoistic?" Sakura added.

"...Hn."

"Oh, Sasuke-kun! I didn't really mean that! I'm sorry!" Sakura flung her arms around Sasuke's neck. He grumbled, but – as a sign of his good will – patted her arm.

"Err... I'm... still here, too...," Naruto noted sheepishly.

Sasuke turned his head towards the blond: "So...? What do you expect me to do now...? Kiss you?"

"No... to invite me to a trial practice so I can show you how good I am, dattebayo!"

"Sasuke-kun... you better think twice about what I want you to answer now...," Sakura lurked.

"Hn. Fine then. But you'll really have to show me quite some moves in order to convince me, understood?"

Naruto grinned superiorly: "No problem, dattebayo!"

The End

Extra: What became of Itachi's project…

Iruka: "Sorry, Itachi, but you can't produce electricity using a tomato... You should have used a lemon..."

Itachi: "Yes. And I proved that in a very impressive way, didn't I?"

Iruka: "Well... To be honest..."

Itachi: "You're not intending to give me a bad grade, are you?"

Iruka: "Er, no. Of course not. A+ for this exceptional experiment!"

Itachi: "There you go..."

Deidara: "Can I blow up the tomatoes already?"

Itachi: "Sure. I don't have any more use for them."

Iruka: "... Could you please do that outside?"

Zetsu: "Why did we use freakin' tomatoes, in the first place?"

Itachi: "So my little brother didn't get them."

Tobi: "Tobi is a good boy."

Author's Note:

Cherio~!

Wow! It's exciting! We've only written in German so far and therefore we are pretty thrilled! We decided to translate some of our oneshots share them with you guys! We hope, you like it! More will come soon, so stay tuned!!

Here are some cookies as a thank you gift! *puts cookies on a plate*

Jans & Lua