Set: Pre-Goodbye and Good Luck

Author's note at the end

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer this was typed on.

Dedicated to: The few loyal readers who always make me feel like a writer and not just someone with an overactive imagination and too much time on my hands.

Notes: This is set pre- Goodbye and Good Luck, post- The Chick Chop Flick Shop. It's certainly not fluffy like some of my other stories… just to warn you.

Starless Nights

The night stars, try as they might, could not outshine the neon and lights of the city of Las Vegas. Lost in the sea of glitz and glam, the stars were as insignificant as a pebble on Fremont Street and, yet, there were still those who paid notice the wonders of the heavens.

Standing at the sink in a small apartment kitchen, Greg Sanders looked up at the dark sky through the window. Although he couldn't see the stars, just knowing they were there brought a certain comfort to the young man.

Filling a glass of ice with water, he turned back to the table.

Seated in one of the chairs, Sara Sidle stared at something in the corner of the room—thoughts as a distant as the stars high above their heads.

Ever since her return to the lab, Greg had noticed an increasingly distracted air to the normally focused and confident brunette. In eight years of working with her, spending time with her, flirting with her, he had never seen so much uncertainty, so much pain in her eyes.

Seeing her alone in the dark locker room while the others laughed and joked down the hall, he knew that something was wrong in her life. He could tell the physical scars of her abduction had healed, but there was something emotional, spiritual, that was still causing her great discomfort.

The part Greg hated the most was not knowing how to help her. He was her friend, but there was a sudden distance between them that he hated. He hated himself for the jealousy he felt that she had given her heart to another man. He hated himself for the selfishness of putting his happiness above hers. He hated the few feet between them that suddenly felt like galaxies.

"Are you alright?" Greg set a glass of water on the table and sat down across from her.

"I'm fine." Sara replied, her voice missing its usual firm, certain, tone.

"What are you thinking about?"

She stared at the glass of water for a moment. "Do you ever wonder about the 'what ifs'?"

"I suppose." Greg nodded. "I think we all wonder about the things that could have been."

"I can think of a few big ones…"

"Me too."

Sara turned her gaze to a photo on the refrigerator. "What if Natalie never killed anyone? What if the miniatures ever existed? What if she hadn't…?" She left the thought hanging, not willing to fill in the last few words.

"We probably still wouldn't have figured out that you and Gris were sneaking around." Greg answered with a slight laugh, hoping to make the sadness go away from her face.

She looked back to him, her eyes missing their usual shine. "I was getting tired of hiding."

"You seem tired now."

"For different reasons."

Greg nodded. "I want you to be happy again."

"I am happy, Greg." Sara responded flatly, unconvincingly.

"It doesn't show."

"It's complicated."

He gazed thoughtfully at her necklace—a medal pendant of intertwined pieces. He wondered if one of those pieces grew weak if it all would fall apart. "What if…?"

"Greg?" She raised an eyebrow as he blinked slowly.

"I was just thinking what it would be like if you hadn't stayed in Vegas all those years ago." He met her eyes. "How would that have changed our lives? Grissom's life? What would your life be like today?"

"I'm sure it wouldn't be as good. I didn't have much before I came here. This is the only place I've ever felt home."

"I know I owe you a lot. I wouldn't have made it into the field without you. You've always had my back." Greg shook his head. "I'm sorry I haven't always been there to have yours."

"You've been there when I needed you most."

"Is that enough?"

"Greg, you've been one of my best friends." Sara replied, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand—bridging some of the distance between them. "I know I've never been fair to you. I was too stuck on Gil to see how much you cared."

"It worked out well for you."

She pulled her hand away from his and sat back in her chair. "I suppose that's true." She murmured, the tiniest of smiles gracing her lips.

"Sara?"

"We're going to get married." She said softly, glancing up to meet his eyes.

He sat up in surprise. "When?"

"I don't know. I don't really care. Just knowing that we've made the decision is enough."

"He's a lucky guy."

"That doesn't mean I still don't need you." Sara bit her lip lightly, gazing at him. "You always seem to see me in a way no one else does."

"You're not like the others, Sara." Greg stated.

"I'm nothing special."

"I think you are. Grissom thinks you are. He risked a lot for you. I think that says something."

"I guess."

He watched the confusion darken in her eyes and the uncertainty that haunted every shadow on her face. "What is it?"

"Nothing." She shook her head.

Greg waited for the nervous laugh and quick change of subject that he was so used to, but it never came. "Sara?"

"I should leave." Sara stood. "Thank you for this, Greg. I miss those days we just sat and talked."

"I'm here if you need me."

"Okay." She gave a quick smile, avoiding his eyes. "Goodnight."

He watched her head for the door. "Sara?" He moved over to her as she paused. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Of course." With a pat on his arm and an insincere smile, she headed out the door and out into the dark night beyond.

Greg stood in the doorway and gazed at the trail of her taillights down the street until they faded into the blackness like stars that could burn no longer.

Four days later, he would learn she'd left Las Vegas—leaving behind a career, a fiancée, friends and a home. Most importantly, however, she left behind a friend who would spend quiet, starless, nights thinking of her and wondering: what if?

Author's note: So this the first thing I've written for CSI in… a year? I have to admit that I lost some interest in the show after Jorja Fox left, but I'm excited about the new season. I can't really explain what prompted this. I just felt like writing something again. Yes, it's moody, but that's what happens when the author's had a statistics tests that day. At heart, I'm a Sara/Grissom fan, but I still love writing for Greg and Sara. I liked the fact that Greg was the one to notice that things were not going well in her life before she left. Maybe he was the only one to notice. Who knows? Anyway, I hope it wasn't too bad, seeing how I am a little out of practice… I can't decide if this will continue or not, so any comments are appreciated with opinions.